What's Wrong With Me?

it is 12:30 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  I have been, finally, putting away my pesach  stuff.  I don't know what is the matter with me.  I have been vegetating for days.  pesach ended on Friday night and at the end of Saturday might, most people turned over their kitchens; not, I.  I lounged around in jammies for days.  I didn't leave my house.  I ate non stop and didn't have any contact with the human race.  I was really out of it.  I also binged on the remainder of the pesach chocolates and potato chips, which I religiously avoided all week.

we are having a heat wave, I believe.  I'm not really sure because I haven't been outside.   I just ran outside to throw out the garbage.  the house remains cold at night.  I have been holed up on the couch wrapped up in a shawl.  I put away all of my pots and pans and just cleaned the pesach stove.  I still have to dry the two pesach plastic sinks and put them back into the closet.  it really wasn't hard.  I just, simply, could not function for a few days.

I saw the kids on Shabbat.  they came in on Thursday.  it was still pesach so I could not eat with them due to my food stringencies.  i went on Friday night to the Sephardi family.  it was very hard for me to walk to their house.  what normally, used to be a half an hour walk, turned into a 50 minute struggle.  I am very out of shape. I did wake up with migraine like headaches on both Friday and Saturday mornings.  I skipped services and stayed in bed.  this was not my best pesach.  on late Saturday afternoon, I made the walk again.  the kids were not there.  they were in a park in town.  I didn't see them until later that night, when they all returned. i stayed and ate a third meal with the family.

on Saturday night, I watched the Sephardi grandma, who is ten years my junior; wash and put away all of her pots and then make dozens of the traditional Moroccan  pancakes from scratch.  the kids all showered and I was driven home.  it was close to midnight and I started food binging and didn't go to sleep until around 5:00 a.m.  I didn't move again until today.