Friday, May 31, 2019

It Is Stil Hot

it is 2:30 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  it is really broiling outside.  it's pretty hot inside, too.  I just got back from the neighborhood supermarket.  I went to buy some yogurt and challah rolls.  I guessed that I needed to eat yogurt while I'm on antibiotics.  I have a major loose tooth/gum tooth infection. I also wanted to see if they did have the Tofutti cream cheese.  I bought the Tofutti sour cream by mistake.  I actually read online, that they both have exactly the same ingredients.  who really knows?.  many years ago they did a study and found out that there was relatively no tofu in the Tofutti ice cream.  they wanted the company to change it's name.  here we are in 2019 and the Tofutti brand is still going strong.

for those people who think tofu is suspect these days; it means making these vegan dessert recipes with coconut oil and cream and milk and flaxseed.  I decided to make marble cheesecake brownies for the manager's lactose intolerant son.  after reading so many negative comments online, about the poor results of the Tofutti cheesecake recipe; I decided not to make one.  I think these brownies will be a sure fire winner with the entire family.  as it turns out, these kids are mad about chocolate and sugar.  the brownies are super easy to make, too.

I bought more dairy ingredients to make another cheesecake.  I thought I'd take one over to the Sephardi grandparents.  that's, of course, if we go there for Friday night's Shabbat dinner. Shavuot comes in on Saturday night after the Shabbat ends.  you don't get a chance to watch t.v. or go online but you do get a chance to smoke cigarettes and cook more food from an preexisting lit memorial candle.  I also bought more cheeses.  I like my cheese and fruit platter on Shavuot.  I'm sure that I bought way too much.  I'm  also pretty sure that the kids made plans to go out on Shavuot day for a barbecue.

I am trying to play it easy breezy.  I'm kind of on a south beach 'phase 1' diet at the moment so it won't be so bad to eat lots of cheese.  I've been intermittently fasting at night and it's been a great relief to not binge.  I thought about doing a fruit fast next week but I think that I will continue my eating mostly protein and veggies and stopping to eat by 9: p.m.  for most people it probably seems normal not to eat after supper.  I go all night long, munching away, until I pass out.  I have radically, cut down on my caloric consumption this week.  I, desperately, have to knock off 20 pounds as soon as possible.  I'm about 30 pounds overweight now.  I am feeling hopeful.  I even started drinking water.

I bought a small container of humus, a package of precooked beets and a couple of avocadoes to go with my chicken this evening for Shabbat dinner.  I am really trying my best to get back into my clothes and get rid of my giant belly. one can only hope.

Thursday, May 30, 2019

Taking Care Of Business

it is 2:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  I have a new repairman here fixing all of my screens and he is now tackling the blinds in the bedroom.  I can't believe that I don't have gaping holes in my screens anymore and that I will be able to open the blinds once in awhile to check out what's happening on the street. I got tired of scotch taping over all of the ripped screens and luckily, a good friend knew of someone to fix them and even more lucky; he was coming today.

he will replace the plug on a brand new fan, I bought four years ago, too.  my dog tiny chewed the wires when he was still a puppy.  I have been wanting to get it repaired for awhile.  I also want him to put up a ceiling fan in the kitchen.  it has been sitting on a shelf for nearly 18 years.  it is really hot in the house and we are having yet, another heat wave here.  I want to make it as comfortable as I can for Shavuot.  I don't have any air conditioning units.

I stayed home from work today.  I only had to give then lunch and I stayed later yesterday to create one.  why schlep out in the mid hot sun for just an hour or two of work?  I left oriental pasta salad, cucumber salad, and tuna salad.  I hope it will be enough.  it is an out Shabbat and some of the guys may have already split for the weekend.  yesterday, I worked until 7:00 p.m.  I felt exhausted.  it was a real scorcher.  I felt so drained and nearly faint.  I baked oatmeal and tahini bars for a treat for them yesterday before I left.  I had tried, very unsuccessfully, to make a cake out of the leftover cooked oatmeal from their breakfast.  I added some flour and sugar and many eggs and baked it for hours and still it was not a cake.

I hated tossing the whole pan.  I should have left the oatmeal for them for today's breakfast.  go know!  in the past, I got away with adding the oatmeal to the meatloaves.  I made a tabouli couscous salad with sautéed carrots and onions because I didn't have any bulgur yesterday.  I also made dozens of corn fritters for lunch as well as a huge Israeli salad and served chumus.  I fried up many dozens of mini hamburgers for their supper and made roasted zucchini and rice.  I actually, had two hamburgers.  they were nice and spicy and juicy.  that was pretty much my lunch.  I had a tilapia fillet for supper with some cooked cauliflower.  I am still fasting for 12 hours every night.

I felt pretty weak this morning.  I stood on my feet yesterday for nearly 7 hours cooking.  I didn't drink enough, either.  I haven't really eaten yet today.  I had 2 spoons of peanut butter in the morning.  I wanted to take an antibiotic.  my loose tooth seems to be infected.  I only have chicken in the house to cook.  my friends wanted to go out to rosh pina this evening for a bite.  it is still very hot outside.  I also wanted to return my empty bottles to the supermarket .  I just can't face this heat.  i think i better go on and cook the chicken.  I'm starving.

the repairman just ran off.  I won't get to see him for a while.  that's always the problem with them.  they are so busy.  I still have three windows to have screened downstairs and I really want the ceiling fan hung up in the kitchen but that's how it goes.  at least I got his phone number and he lives in this area.

9:30 p.m.  at 4:00 p.m. I cooked some chicken and finally broke my fast.  I took an antibiotic and passed out.  it is not easy for me to swallow pills.  I just successfully swallowed a pain killer. yeh!  I never made it out with my friends.  I walked to the end of the street a moment ago to put my plastic and tins in the recycle bin at the end of the street.  I couldn't take the bottles to the bin near the synagogue because I wasn't really dressed modestly. hopefully I will get out early and run to the supermarket.

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Getting Crazy

it is 8:30 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  I just got back from the neighborhood supermarket.  I went to see if they had Tofutti 'cream cheese'.  I decided to make a dairy free cheesecake for my manager's son, who has an intolerance todairy.  I found the Tofutti and it was on sale.  unfortunately, I didn't buy enough.  I think I need two packages.  I wonder if I can substitute soy yogurt for the second package.  the kid drinks soy milk and I guess, he's used to it.  I read reviews of the recipe and they weren't so good.  I think i'll go back in the morning and get another Tofutti and buy some soy yogurts to make it extra creamy.

I know that I am going a bit crazy for Shavuot but I do love the challenge of vegan baking and cooking.  I can also buy a prepared graham cracker crust.  I guess I can make one myself using  cookies and coconut oil.  I am having a hamburger and some cauliflower for dinner.  I had a couple of eggs for breakfast and a bit of salad at he yeshiva. I'm not really all that hungry.  I thought about having a can of tuna but I was all out.  I stopped off at my friends' house and they offered me a huge piece of lamb.  I really wasn't in the mood for greasy lamb.

I wanted to do laundry this morning but I was out of laundry detergent.  I did one small load and then I remembered that I had liquid gel in the kitchen upstairs.  I always have some on hand when my granddaughter comes to visit.  she loves to make slime with it.  maybe i'll catch up with the sheets tomorrow.  I had thought about travelling to see the kids for Shabbat but it is pretty hot, once again.  I think I will stay  put.  I don't have to work on Thursday.  it is an out Shabbat.  my friend wants to make a little day trip to the neighboring town of Rosh Pina.  there is a Japanese chain restaurant that I really like. we could share a salmon dinner.  that's what I would go for.

I would also like to check out the health food supermarket there.  depending on how hot it is, we will make plans.  I went to work a bit earlier today and was less rushed and a bit more inspired.  I made baked potatoes with mushroom sauce, Israeli salad, super hot corn salad, tahini, egg salad, spicy chickpeas, and tuna salad.  I think they liked today's lunch.  they were held captive by one of the rav's of the yeshiva and got to lunch nearly an hour late.  I thought that they had fled the coop.  I made a huge turkey loaf for supper with rice and green lentils.  I hope they didn't leave it on the electric hot plate all evening.  I threw out three dried out platters of food on Monday.  i'm  afraid it might have to be pasta again tomorrow.  I ran out of potatoes.

I trimmed my dog's hair yesterday.  he was really suffering from the heat.  I wanted to have him shaven professionally but I didn't really know of one near by.  not having a car is a bit limiting.  he sat on my lap very quietly and lovingly while I trimmed his hair.  I think he truly enjoyed our together time.  I did a much better job than last time.  he looks normal and not mangy.  I guess those hair cutting lessons, I took many years ago, finally paid off.

Monday, May 27, 2019

Countdown To Shavuot 2019

it is 10:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  the extreme heat wave broke.  it is very warm but very doable.  I actually saw my ankles this morning.  they have been so swollen that I looked like an elephant.  I started drinking water.  I went to the pharmacy for a natural diuretic.  I bought urtica drops but didn't use them yet.  I was afraid.  I have been very limited.  it has been too hot to move.  I've taxied it to and from work almost every day.  today, I walked to the main bus station from work and caught my bus.  it's only a 10 minute walk but I haven't been able to do it.  I am in bad shape.

I started my intermittent fasting yesterday.  I have ballooned out and I look and feel awful.  it was a relief not to eat last night.  I have been binging and eating non stop for weeks.  it felt so good not to eat so much.  I had a can of tuna and a hamburger for dinner and stopped eating at 8:00 p.m.  I will drink some lemon and mint flavored water and eat again at 8:00 a.m.  I am trying to work on portion control now.  I had two frankfurters for lunch with some lentils and bulgur.  I usually eat more.  I actually feel too full right now.  the hamburger, probably, was too much to eat after the tuna.

I stopped at the supermarket last week and bought a bunch of stuff for Shavuot.  I usually make cheesecake, tiramisu, lasagna, greek salad and mini ravioli.  I bought frozen Belgian waffles and cheese blintzes.  I guess this is overkill.  I still want to buy fruit for a cheese platter. I saw Roquefort and I don't think I have ever tasted some.  I will go back to the store and buy some more cheese.  this is not a good time to begin a diet.  I will skip the desserts and stick to the protein.  I have to get this right before summer officially begins.

I need to buy a bunch of veggies to cook this week.  I think i'll hold off the fruit for a bit. and i'll stay off dairy until Shavuot, which is next week.  I have to do an MRI in a couple of weeks.  my appointment is at 5:30 a.m. in the tel aviv area.  I will have to go to bnei brak on the last bus and catch a taxi to the hospital.  I will probably have a long 3 hour wait.  it won't help getting taken early because there aren't any busses until around 7:00 a.m.  what a bummer!

Thursday, May 23, 2019

Are We Having Fun Yet?

it is 3:30 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  it is about 100 degrees here.  it feels like hell.  I went in to work a bit early today.  the busses are on holiday schedule.  I managed to hail a taxi.  walking is out of the question.  we are in the midst of the holiday of Lag B'Omer.  hundreds of thousands of people make a pilgrimage to the gravesite of Rabbi Shimon in meron.  meron is about a fifteen minute drive from here when you don't have throngs of people visiting.  it is a huge mess here.  there are traffic jams all over the city.

I stopped going to meron for this holiday many years ago.  one year I nearly got trampled by a huge mass of Chassidic men.  I felt myself losing my footing and was dangerously close to being trodden over.  someone in that massive crowd held out a hand to me and saved me.  it was actually my sister, to whom, I am no longer speaking.  I started going three days before the event or afterwards.  I was playing with the idea of going tomorrow but I heard it will be even hotter.

I made tons of falafel balls, chips and salads for the guys ' lunch.  I fried tons of eggplant, too.  I was on a frying mania.  I felt almost faint.  even with the air conditioner on, it was hot.  the guys are playing music this evening up on the mesuda mountain.  I am toying with the idea of going to support them.  they all would love for me to be there but they also know that it is a physical hardship for me, at the same time.  I have a bit of time to rest.  the house is already heating up.  I will need to pull out all the fans.  I invited my friend for Shabbat.  it is her birthday as well as my friends' anniversary.

I plan on baking a cake and bringing it to my friends on Saturday evening.  I bought cocoa, spelt flour, cherry filling, chocolate pudding and whipped cream.  I want to do a black Forrest knock off cake.  we shall see how I feel in the morning.  I am a bit down this lag b'omer.  it is the first time in 9 years that I don't have a grandchild with me.  I always take them to the childrens' festivities with me.  I couldn't stand the thought of being alone this year.  one should think I would be used to it by now, but I am not.  it was excruciating for me last night.  I put on a ton of weight, to boot.  I seem to be stuffing my face every evening when I return home form work.  I have been eating tons of chocolate and ice cream too.

I stopped in the neighborhood supermarket yesterday and bought about a $100 worth of dairy products.  I bought mini ravioli, lasagna noodles, shredded mozzarella, parmesan and ricotta cheese.  I am hoping that the kids will come to me for Shavuot.  I believe it is in another two weeks.  I usually use cottage cheese and the Israeli 28% sliced cheese.  I want to be more authentic this year.  I also bought most of the ingredients for a cheesecake.  I make an Israeli cheesecake and use vanilla pudding.  I was able to buy the good French style pudding.  I usually make a tiramisu but I didn't see the lady fingers yesterday.  as Shavuot is all about the fruits, I still need to buy some to make a platter.  I usually make a Greek salad so I have more things to buy.  my family isn't big on cheese blintzes so I don't even try to make them.

I need to drink and rehydrate before I even think about going back out there.  I did have a wonderful surprise visit from one of the yeshiva guys from 7 years ago.  he was in the original group that I cooked for before I got sick.  it was a magical time.  he is a teacher now in N.Y. for special needs students and I was amazed to see him.  we had such a close connection once.  I was so in love with the guys back then.  I don't even know the present guys' names.  I do not love them.  I feel put out by them.  I feel that they would rather have a pizza than eat my food.  they are not thrilled with my cooking.  the other guys were.  when I got sick they sent me a huge bouquet of flowers with a lovely note.  I kept that note with me in the radiation room.  it was really nice that he stopped in to say hello.

Friday, May 17, 2019

remembrances

it is 5:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  I just got back from the cemetery.  today is the 14th anniversary of the passing of my father.  it doesn't really seem that it was so long ago.  my world crashed when he died.  I took to mourning for at least two years.  I couldn't get over it.  my father was 91 when he died.  it was extraordinary because he had heart issues.  both my parents survived open heart surgery at age 70.  it was a relatively new procedure back then in the 80's.  my father was one of the very few patients who lived after this surgery.  people thought we had magical powers or something.  my sister used to sit for hours reading psalms.  my father was on his feet and eating jello soon after the 16 hour procedure.  he was amazing.  he was very strong.

before my father passed on he was in the hospital here in safed for 40 days.  he was brought to the hospital in a septic state.  we had to amputate his leg.  they told us that he was in full organ shutdown.  they told us that he couldn't survive the surgery.  then they told us he couldn't survive the day.  shortly afterwards, he awoke from a catatonic like state and winked at me.  he grabbed my arm and I was rendered to my knees.  like I said, my father was very strong.  he had dementia and didn't remember that I was his daughter.  he did know me because I lived with him.  he used to call me 'big girl'.  they told us for 40 days that my father could not survive one more day and yet he did.  the nurses doted on him in intensive care.  he flirted with them and I think he might have even groped a couple.  they loved him.

I had to go to court in another town to get power of attorney to have his leg amputated. there was no judge that day.  I recognized a young man from safed and asked him if I could use his cell phone.  he turned out to be the office manager of the court and he was my neighbor.  he recognized me from taking my father out for walks.  he knew my dad.  he helped me get the necessary paper work.  a lot of people knew my dad from his outings with his helper. the taxi drivers adored him.  they would put songs on the radio for him to sing.  the world has changed for me since he left it.

he became very child like and I resumed the role of parent.  he was very happy and loved to be around kids and a crowd.  he loved to dance.  he loved to eat.  he became quite uninhibited.  he would get up at the senior's club and shake his booty.  he loved to sing and would sit out on the porch crooning Sinatra tunes.  the neighbors all knew him.  he would greet people in the street and say 'Shabbat shalom' every single day.  the kids in he neighborhood would run over to him to get their 'Shabbat shalom' greeting from him.  they nicknamed him the Shabbat sabba.  some people judged him and many more loved him. 

when he was in a hospital in the center of the country with ischemia, he brightened up the doctor's days by singing and kibitzing with them,   he didn't understand that we were there to try and save his leg.  he didn't understand that that most of the people on that ward were amputees.  one doctor admitted that his commute to work was very depressing and that he wished that he had a cassette of my dad singing "my way" to help him get through it.

I didn't stay long at the cemetery.  I wasn't feeling well.  this intense heat wave, that we are having,  has taken its toll on me. I am borderline dehydrated and very swollen.  I took a taxi and had him return in half an hour.  it appears that someone was there earlier on and cleaned both of the graves.  it was probably my sister.  last year I cleaned the graves.  I am glad that she got her chance to be alone with them. last year she ran off when she saw me.  I took some spackle with me to help reattach the boxes for the memorial candles.  they both had broken off the graves.  I didn't even get the chance to read some psalms.  it was broiling down at the cemetery. I kissed their graves and said goodbye.

I got a dear friend to read the mourner's kaddush for my dad tomorrow and I left a box of goodies at the yeshiva for the boys to enjoy.  that is what I could do for my dad.  I miss him and wish he was still here to call me 'big girl".

quickly scrambled to get food ready for Shabbat evening.  made two hamburgers and heated up some leftover rice and made a tilapia fillet.  threw together oatmeal, coconut flakes, ground peanuts and walnuts, a mashed banana and a couple of eggs plus a splash of palm oil and date syrup and created 'muffins, 'put up a kettle of boiled water and voila!  Shabbat shalom!

Friday, May 3, 2019

Shabbat Shalom May 2019

it is  5:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  it is almost Shabbat, once again.   I am all alone tonight.  I went back to work yesterday.  it was nice to connect with the two young men that I work with but I was tired.  the kitchen was covered in a fruit fly infestation.  the walls were covered in it.  I had to make sure to rinse off flies from containers and utensils which were left out.  it was pretty gross.  I got to work after 5:00 p.m. and it was just cooling off.  we are in the midst of a heat wave.  they say that it will be cool for Shabbat and once again, get even hotter next week.  I realize that I do not fare well in this heat.  we went literally, from hail storms to heat wave with little time between.

I was very disoriented in the kitchen.  I didn't remember where anything was.  I quickly boiled eggs for their Friday breakfast, made a pot of spaghetti for their lunch and cooked up a pot of rice for their supper.   there are only eleven guys in the yeshiva right now.  I have been cooking for nearly 30.  I defrosted a kilo of ground turkey meat and sautéed it with veggies to add to the rice.  I also made a pot of zucchini in tomato sauce with canned chickpeas, an Israeli salad and some tahini sauce.  I was in no shape to make a cake.  I cut up the herring and added onions for their third meal and opened a large can of tuna, too.  I cut up some veggies and left it for their breakfast.  I washed the pots and pans and the floor which was filthy.  I left at 8:30 p.m. and got home an hour later.  I was beat.

the guys didn't thank me for their dinner.  perhaps I used too little meat in the rice.  I heard that they had been pretty much demoralized throughout the holiday.  they were allowed to stay in their rooms but the kitchen was completely closed.  the young manager of the yeshiva came in to cook some food for them before the holiday started.  the rabbis of the yeshiva pretty much abandoned them for the week of pesach.  if the kitchen had been cleaned for pesach, I would have gladly come in to make dinner for them.  oh well.....

 I have to see my oncologist on Wednesday in the tel aviv area.  Thursday is independence day in Israel.  I am seriously thinking about cancelling the appointment for a month.  I don't like the idea of travelling before independence day.  I will see what can be done on sunday.  as it is, I will have to double up on meals to compensate if I travel on Wednesday and I don't really feel like working on independence day.  the rule is that you receive triple pay.  it once was against the law to work on this day.  I don't remember if I came in last year.  I do remember that I didn't make a barbecue last year.  I am a bit broke until the end of the month and won't be buying any food for the grill.  I do have a package of chicken wings and a package of liver in the freezer so perhaps it is doable.  we'll see if my friends want to come around.

I made some turkey patties for Shabbat supper and some quinoa.  I wanted to go out this morning to buy fruit and spelt rolls.  I started watching documentaries on the mafia and got completely sidetracked .  I do have some matzah left for tonight and humus.  I wanted to make a non dairy and non gluten cornbread but I didn't have the patience.  instead I made some 'muffins'.  I took two grated carrots, two eggs, a cup and a half of oatmeal, and a cup of ground walnuts, coconut, and almonds.  I added some cherry juice and a bit of agave syrup.  I may have drizzled some palm oil.  it actually is yummy.  I need to make a piece of tuna steak.

tomorrow I will be having the Shabbat lunch at the synagogue after my neighbor's bris.  I feel a bit antsy, having not gone out today.  I am too tired to walk over to my friend.  I am in bad shape.  I will take a hot shower and go next store to bring the baby gift.  what is going to be with me??

Thursday, May 2, 2019

Holocaust Day

it is 12:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  it is holocaust day in Israel.  the siren rang about an hour ago.  I usually dread this day because there is an interruption of the cable television broadcasting. as I am completely reliant on television, it usually results in my watching holocaust movies all night.  last night I discovered that I could order movies for free.  I watched 'the zookeeper's wife'.  I have been waiting for a while to see this film.  I read the book.  the film was wonderful.  it was not as dreary as your average Nazi movie.  afterwards, I watched 'gotti' with john Travolta.  I have no idea why they were presenting this amongst all of the holocaust films presented.  it was pretty awful and I fell asleep during it.

I went to bed, exhausted.  my new sofa is rock hard and very uncomfortable.  I had run to town to pay the vegetable store cash and to get a baby gift for my neighbor's son.  I had shopped before pesach at a fruit store in town because I wanted to avoid the crowds at the supermarket.  I had left my wallet at home with my cash and credit card and I only had my checkbook.  most stores accept checks.  this store didn't and they expected me to return the next day with the cash.  it was storming for days and I was busy finishing up with the pesach cleaning.  I couldn't get away to go to town.  I managed to go to town after the first holiday ended.  the store was closed for pesach.  I felt guilty all the time.  I finally made it to town yesterday and the store seems to have not reopened.  it actually looks abandoned.

my neighbor invited me yesterday to join the family on Shabbat day for a bris and the meal afterwards at the local serphardi synagogue.  I didn't know if I should give the couple a check or buy a present. I called my son to ask which is more appropriate in the Sephardi world.  he suggested a cute gift.  the very expensive baby gift store is right across the street from the fruit store so away, I went.  it was very hot outside and airless.  I do not fair well in this kind of weather.  it was the first time that I got up and dressed all week long.  it felt very weird.  I had wanted to buy a bunch of fruit to do a diet/ cleanse.  I managed to buy a small cantaloupe and some cottage cheese at a nearby food shop.

I bought an adorable little jeans outfit for the baby and got two small gifts for the baby's siblings.  I spent a lot of money.  I also got my electric bill.  it was astronomical.  it was truly a hard winter.  I had all the heaters blasting throughout presach.  it was hailing for days.  as hard as it was navigating in the cold and rain, it was still easier for me than dealing with this heat. I think that I will be able to pay the electric bill soon.  I found some cash. 

I have to go in later today to make an evening meal for the yeshiva.  it will be the first time I return there after a month's break.  it also feels very weird.  I do not feel energetic.  it is very overcast outside and looks like rain.  this change in the barometric pressure is not doing me well at all.  I feel sluggish and headachy and just out of sorts.  I felt like this all week long.  I just can't seem to wake up from this foggy state.