Are We Having Fun Yet?

it is 3:30 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  it is about 100 degrees here.  it feels like hell.  I went in to work a bit early today.  the busses are on holiday schedule.  I managed to hail a taxi.  walking is out of the question.  we are in the midst of the holiday of Lag B'Omer.  hundreds of thousands of people make a pilgrimage to the gravesite of Rabbi Shimon in meron.  meron is about a fifteen minute drive from here when you don't have throngs of people visiting.  it is a huge mess here.  there are traffic jams all over the city.

I stopped going to meron for this holiday many years ago.  one year I nearly got trampled by a huge mass of Chassidic men.  I felt myself losing my footing and was dangerously close to being trodden over.  someone in that massive crowd held out a hand to me and saved me.  it was actually my sister, to whom, I am no longer speaking.  I started going three days before the event or afterwards.  I was playing with the idea of going tomorrow but I heard it will be even hotter.

I made tons of falafel balls, chips and salads for the guys ' lunch.  I fried tons of eggplant, too.  I was on a frying mania.  I felt almost faint.  even with the air conditioner on, it was hot.  the guys are playing music this evening up on the mesuda mountain.  I am toying with the idea of going to support them.  they all would love for me to be there but they also know that it is a physical hardship for me, at the same time.  I have a bit of time to rest.  the house is already heating up.  I will need to pull out all the fans.  I invited my friend for Shabbat.  it is her birthday as well as my friends' anniversary.

I plan on baking a cake and bringing it to my friends on Saturday evening.  I bought cocoa, spelt flour, cherry filling, chocolate pudding and whipped cream.  I want to do a black Forrest knock off cake.  we shall see how I feel in the morning.  I am a bit down this lag b'omer.  it is the first time in 9 years that I don't have a grandchild with me.  I always take them to the childrens' festivities with me.  I couldn't stand the thought of being alone this year.  one should think I would be used to it by now, but I am not.  it was excruciating for me last night.  I put on a ton of weight, to boot.  I seem to be stuffing my face every evening when I return home form work.  I have been eating tons of chocolate and ice cream too.

I stopped in the neighborhood supermarket yesterday and bought about a $100 worth of dairy products.  I bought mini ravioli, lasagna noodles, shredded mozzarella, parmesan and ricotta cheese.  I am hoping that the kids will come to me for Shavuot.  I believe it is in another two weeks.  I usually use cottage cheese and the Israeli 28% sliced cheese.  I want to be more authentic this year.  I also bought most of the ingredients for a cheesecake.  I make an Israeli cheesecake and use vanilla pudding.  I was able to buy the good French style pudding.  I usually make a tiramisu but I didn't see the lady fingers yesterday.  as Shavuot is all about the fruits, I still need to buy some to make a platter.  I usually make a Greek salad so I have more things to buy.  my family isn't big on cheese blintzes so I don't even try to make them.

I need to drink and rehydrate before I even think about going back out there.  I did have a wonderful surprise visit from one of the yeshiva guys from 7 years ago.  he was in the original group that I cooked for before I got sick.  it was a magical time.  he is a teacher now in N.Y. for special needs students and I was amazed to see him.  we had such a close connection once.  I was so in love with the guys back then.  I don't even know the present guys' names.  I do not love them.  I feel put out by them.  I feel that they would rather have a pizza than eat my food.  they are not thrilled with my cooking.  the other guys were.  when I got sick they sent me a huge bouquet of flowers with a lovely note.  I kept that note with me in the radiation room.  it was really nice that he stopped in to say hello.