Almost Shabbat

 it is 6:30 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  candlelighting is in another hour.  i will walk the dogs soon and then take my daily stroll after i light. it is in the high 80's and epected to get hotter over shabbat.  i spent a couple of hours at the pool and came back tired. i boiled some eggs, grated some beets, and made a green salad with tahina dressing.  i baked a potato and a sweet potato.  last night i made a pot of chicken soup and a pot of chicken legs and red lentils.  i had some lentils and chicken when i returned from the pool. i just had the baked potato.  i am stuffed.  i think i will have the green salad and a salmon fillet for my shabbat dinner.

the dogs had chicken breast and bulgur for lunch. the heat is getting to me.  i was on my t.v. couch talking to a friend for the past hour.  i got her to read my post.  i have been blogging for nearly 14 years now.  i started when i was ranting about the in- laws hogging the first born grandson.  i was pretty angry and overwhelmed in those days.  i guess i still am.  anyway; i was ranting to my sister about the situation and she said that she was hanging up because it was no longer a dialogue.  it was in fact; a monologue. and that is how the zelda monologue was created.  in the past on windows 10, i could read comments.  it was so exciting.  people were reading my blog all over the world.  i never understood it.  most of my followers were my sister's friends from california. but i had followers in china, too.

then i got on to facebook and i got hooked.  i stopped blogging.  i had a smart phone and i never went over to my computer.  i didn't even know that somehow, i no longer had windows 10 anymore.  i was so involved in catching up with old friends. with the advent of covid; i was afraid to blog and afraid to comment on facebook.  i was an anti- vaxer, an enemy of the state, a parasite. i didn't have a green passport.  i couldn't go to movies or use the trains. and i couldn't afford to be kicked off facebook and lose contact with the outside world.

recently, i longed to blog again but i couldn't do it on my phone.  i thought about buying a tablet.  hten i realized that it would be so nice to have a new computer. and then voila, i had one.  blogging again is like getting back on a bike.  it feels so natural.  i can't believe there are people out there who take a moment to read my blog.  it can be tedious.  it can be a lot. but it is the closest thing to a hoby that i have.  i don't think it is likely that i will take up knitting or painting.  this gives me a purpose. it validates my days.  it is good for my memory.  i start each day at 6:00 a.m. and by noon time, i can't remember what has transpired in my life.

the laundry is caught up with and the house is clean.  the dishes are done and the food is cooked. i even have some leftover banana blueberry chick pea flour muffins.  i bought some disney plates and a huge salad bowl that mentions happiness. i need a reminder always to be happy for all my blessings.  i am ready to bring in shabbat.  wishing everyone a quiet and peaceful shabbat!

Back To Me

it is 9:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  i am getting ready to go to the pool.  they have had large groups of kids every morning this week so we, the older card carrying members; have had to come in the afternoons.  as i start my day at 6:00 a.m.; i am usually tired in the afternoon.  i seem to get my second wind in the late evening.  i have been taking my 45 minute evening strolls at 7:00 p.m.  i have been getting home in the dark.  it has been hard to get my walk done during the heat wave.  i has been too hot during the daytime and too windy in the evening.  i cannot do wind.  i suffered from bells palsey many years ago and i am still quite sensitive to extreme temperatures and the wind is my arch enemy.

i think i had a bit of a stomach bug this week.  i thought it was something i ate on shabbat but i was totally incapacitated on sunday and monday.  i slept during most of the days.  i had the runs and i wasn't up for reading or watching television.  i managed to take the dogs out but i didn't do my dishes, wash my floors or do one bit of laundry.  whatever i ate seemed to go right through me, immediately.  i didn't go near the pool.  we had a heat wave but i felt chilled.  it was not a fun time for me.  on tuesday evening, i forced myself to take a walk.  i felt like i was crawling but i did my 45 minute stroll through my neighborhood.  i went to the pool yesterday for about an hour and a half and i managed to doggie paddle for most of the time.  yesterday was ladies' day.  it was very hot and very crowded.  i had to zig and zag my way through the pool. it was more like roller derby.  i only got kicked, once.

i made buckwheat and whole wheat noodles for supper when i got home.  i have been eating my dinner at around 5:00 p.m.  i can't stand being full later in the evening. i have a fruit around 8:00 p.m. if i am hungry but usually a chai tea with almond milk is enough.  i haven't lost weight this summer.  it is not easy.  i know i eat too much, even though it is all healthy food.  i have been craving icecream and chocolate.  everyone at the pool is gorging on french fries and ice cream bars.  the lifeguards smoke, eat hero sandwiches  and drink energy drinks all day.  i mash up a frozen banana and add a spoon of cocoa powder and make a paste like consistency.  that is my ice cream.  it actually gives me a pick me up and a chocolate fix.  it doesn't have any preservatives and its all healthy.  sometimes, i throw in a hand full of blueberries. 

i seem to wake up every morning with back pain and leg and foot pain.  i think the back pain is from my dog paddling.  i no longer suffer from neck pain.  i have also been experiencing joint pain. i think it might be from eating cherry tomatoes.  i don't eat many nightshades.  i hardly ever have white potatoes and i haven't eaten eggplant in ages.  it is only recently that i have been gorging on these teeny, tiny cherry tomatoes and also eating mini red peppers. they are so firm and sweet.   i must try to eliminate these foods from my diet.  and i must start drinking water.  i tend to forget to drink. it has been really hot here and i seem to go for hours without hydrading.

i finally did the dishes and pots and pans from shabbat.  i mopped the floors and did a couple of loads of laundry.  i guess i am back to me. i had my greek yogurt with oats, walnuts, blueberies and peaches and i had some buckwheat and noodles. is there any reason why i haven't shed any pounds?  it is what it is.  i am addicted to food.  i eat until i can't eat any more.  thank goodness i fast a minimum of twelve hours daily and do some exercize.

Happy Birthday

it is 5:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  i am pretty much set for shabbat.  the house is clean, the dishes are washed and the pots and pans are put away.  the laundry is all caught up and the linen closet is full.  i made chumus from scratch, broiled some salmon fillets and made saucey chicken with black beans and red lentils.  i took my 45 minute walk this morning before it got too hot.  i had some avocado and spelt bread when i came home.  i got my swim bag in order and went to the pool.  it was fairly empty and i had the pool to myself.  it was hotter than yesterday and i stayed in the water longer.  by noon, i was tired and wanted to get back home.  i had gone with friends to an indoor farmers' market yesterday, so i didn't need to stop at the spermarket today.  

i enjoy walking home in my wet bathing clothes.  i wear a longsleeve leotard and long sport pants. i throw a shirt over the leotard and wear a denim skirt over the pants.  it keeps me cool for the rest of the day.  i feel pretty relaxed.  i already ate several bowls of the lentils and black beans with sauce from the chicken.  i had a container of sauce in the freezer as well as a baggie of cooked black beans so i let them do their magic. i simply, added a bit of salt, some ground ginger,cinnamom and coriander.  i had wanted to make soup but i had no patience to chop vegetables. perhaps on sunday, i will up to it.

i turned 72 this week.  it was my first birthday that i didn't travel to see the grandkids; in awhile.  i am into my own thing these days.  i enjoy being in my home. i clean my house, do laundry, wash my dishes and go to the pool.  i eat green and am sugar free.  i do not eat processed foods nor do i use vegetable oils.  i do not fry anything and i drizzle organic olive oil on everything.  occassionally, i add coconut oil to my baked goods.  i love kale and buy it whenever i see it.  it is not all that popular here.  i do not eat cake or icecream or chocolate any more.  i am pretty much caffeine free.  i love my chai tea with almond milk.  i am pretty boring and a pain in the neck to feed. 

i went out with a couple of gal pals to have a steak on my birthday.  i ordered an entrecot steak off the bone.  it arrived medium rare and medium warm; bordering on medium cold.  it was bland.  i asked for salt.  i like black pepper and salt on my steaks.  it came with a small green salad.  it was dressed with a  sugary dressing.  i could not eat it.  we ordered the house bread.  it was sour dough.  it come with a very hot and spicey spread and nothing else to spread on our few sloces of bread.  i put a couple of drops of olive oil on my slice.  i chose a slice of whole wheat bread with raisins. afterall, it was my birthday celebration.  i somehow, tried to swallow a rather large piece of steak and realized that it wasn't going down.  i thought that i might not live to see my 73rd birthday.  i jumped up, beat my chest and managed to dislodge the piece of meat. the waiter ran over and looked quite disturbed.

i think i am officially off steak from now on.  there was no dessert on the menu so i ordered a glass of black tea.  i thought about having a glass of wine but decided not to, in the end.  i went to the mall after dinner and bought 2 pairs of sketchers' pool sandals on sale. that was my birthday gift to myself.  a very good friend called me from europe.  she was the only one who remembered it was my birthday.  i decided to take it easy.  my birthday is special to me because it is my history.  my record of when i entered this life.  it isn't important for others to celebrate it with me.  actually, i do not enjoy receiving gifts. i usually buy a cake and icecream for the grandkids and give out cash.  i did get a very pretty apron from a friend and i loved it.  i didn't have one and was looking around to buy one.  so i had a steak and got an apron.  life is good.  wishing everyone a peaceful shabbat.

taying Busy

it is 10:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  i got up at 6:00 a.m. this morning and took the dogs out for their walk.  i do not go far with them. i am fearful of running into loose animals at that hour.  we go around the block until they do their thing.  i came home and put in a batch of laundry.  i am nearly caught up with all of the bedding.  i mopped the floors and cleaned the fridge and the stove top.  i put away the pots and pans and washed some tea cups. i put all the dried sheets and pillow cases in the linen closet. i put up a pot of turkey neck, black bean and lentil soup.  tomorrow is shabbat and i wanted to get a head start in case i spend time at the pool. 

 i am debating on going now to the pool.  it is only in the 70's and looks like rain.  i prefer to go later in the day when it will be warmer and sunny.  the kids start to come about 2:00 p.m. and it gets noisy.  yesterday they had a group until 1:00 p.m. so we elders couldn't do our laps at 10:00 a.m. i also haven't had my breakfast yet.  i usually eat earlier but i had supper last night at 9:00 p.m. it was a an avocado sandwich and a bowl of oats, almond milk and blueberries. i fast for a minimum of 12 hours daily.

the pool used to open at 9:00 a.m. but they had trouble getting lifeguards.  the indoor pool opens at 7:00 a.m. but it is pretty far away if one doesn't have a car.  i prefer an outdoor pool. there is air and there isn't a strong smell of clorine. i basically go to cool off on a hot day.  i am not a swimmer.  i can dog pladdle my way back and forth of a lane.  i read today that dog paddling builds uppper core body strength, which i sorely, lack.  so i guess, i don't feel totally lame.

i read on facebook this morning that a friend's 21 year old son in australia was in a serious motor bike accident and undergoing knee surgery.  i wish them well but it gives me the shakes.  my neighhbor's nephew was killed in an accident many years ago and his older brother was left a parapalegic; a few years later.  i wish they were outlawed. israelis are pretty wild drivers but the ones on motor bikes, are the scariest of the lot of drivers.

i don't hink i am ready to plunge into a pool of cold water.  i am already pretty  tired. i have been on my feet for the past 4 hours.  i think i will have a large green salad and a cup of chai tea with almond milk.  then i will do my 45 minute walk and do a bit of shopping.  i am well stocked with lettuce, brocoli and kale for the moment.  i have lovely pink lady apples and mini plums from a local neighborhood tree.  i want to buy a decorative laundry bag; if there is such a thing and a suction hook to hang my extension cord on the wall. right now i have it hanging onto a bucket over the dogs' food and water bowls.  i also need a new salad bowl. i accidentally knocked mine over resulting in hundreds of shards and pieces of porceline all over the kitchen floor.  it took me forever to sweep it all up and i am still finding pieces.

 there was a bad odor of  sewerage in my kitchen.  i suspected it was coming from the washing machine.  i opened up a home perfume sticks bottle of patchuli and vanilla and placed it on my floor next to the sewage pipe and opened the window.  it didn't really help. i hesitantly, pushed the pipe of the washing machine further into the swer pipe and it seemed to do the trick. one less problem averted.  my soup looks a bit thin so i might add a potato.  i will take my walk after i have my salad.

Going Swimming

 it is 1:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  at 10:00 a.m. there was a group today at the pool so i am waiting for them to file out before i enter. it is pretty hot today.  i did not check the forcast to see how hot it really is.  i ate my huge green salad with lettuce, tomatoes, avocado, black olives, scallions and kale and had a banana and blueberry muffin made from chickpea flour.  i added a dallop of rocotta cheese on the salad for protein.  i am trying desparately to get rid of the extra holiday pounds i acquired.  i started eating green, more or less; during covid.  i also started intermittent fasting.  i pretty much, fast for 12 to 14 hours every day. i know its not that much but i do it, regardless.

i try to get my daily 45 minute stroll done when the sun goes down.  i used to walk much faster.  at least, i keep it moving.  i am hopeless at swimming.  i manage to doggie paddle my way in the lane and do about 10 -12 laps.  it takes me forever.  my girlfriend does 40 laps in half the time.  what can i say?  new yorkers were not known for their swimming prowess. i do love to be in the water.  it's good for me to be out of the house for a few hours.  i tend to overeat when i am home.  it doesn't matter that i basically, only eat natural foods; too many calories and little movement only leads to no good.

i weigh myself once a year.  i usually take a random piece of clothing and try it on.  if the waste is loose i know i have lost a bit of weight.  if the waistband is tight , i know that i gained weight and check what i eat.  a friend of mine, weighs herelf every single day.  sometimes more than once.  she remains to be thin and doesn't gain an ounce.  i am not that dedicated.  i do not take stock in numbers.  i am not my dress size nor i am the amount of kilos i carry.  i am a semi- active senior who still can clean her house by herself.  i just threw in 3 loads of laundry .  my house is clean and i am able to keep myself clean.  i am thankful for the strength i do have. ten ears ago i went through treatment for cervical cancer.  they discovered a brain tumor during a routine body scan and more recently, they discovered a tumor in my left lung.  on both counts i am symptom free.

i remain positive most of the time.  i do have my moments. i blog because it helps keep my brain working and helps sharpen my memory.  i find that i forget words and names all the time. i try to stay as organized as possible to help me find things more easily.  like most people, i am always serching for my cell phone.  most of the time it is in my hand. blogging helps me vent. helps me spew out tention.  it gets me to have a monologue and a platform.  it gives me a moment to myself and i have a room all for myself.

Remembering

 it is 11:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  a friend texted me a list of 5 things to do to improve one's brain function and memory.  at our age we tend to stoop a bit , not be so positive and not eat such a healthy diet; and not really, work up a sweat.  it appears that we must get more physical, eat more veggies and green salads and fish, stand up straighter and think positive.  we must write a list of ten ideas that we have everyday. we must do things that makes us happy.  we must affirm every time we are happy.  we must keep our lists.   i am bloggimg and sitting up straight right now.  i am trying to stay positive.  i hope my blog contains at least ten ideas i have.

i didn't go to the pool this morning.  it is quite cool in my home and i dread going into the pool when the water is very cold unless it is an extremely hot day. i truly prefer walking to dog paddling.  when i walk i am alone and get to meditate.  it can prove to be most dangerous; as kids go whizzing by me on their motorized scooters and bikes.  it seems like these vehicles are mostly ridden without the good old fashioned bells. one false move to the right and one could be a gonner.  i guess that is not the most positive thing to think on my daily walk. i guess i will have to change that thought.

i have been using my new toploader washing machine by hoover.  life has become so normalized.  no more bending on my knees to wash things in the bathtub.  no more squeezing out water from towels. no more running to the porch with soaking wet clothes held closely to my stomach in the winter.  no more soaking wet clothing.  how did i go three years without a washing machine? i keep asking myself when did i give up on life?  i get so angry i resort to screaming.  i talk to myself and rant.  i also, unfortunately; rant to all of my friends.  i take 45 minute walks and i lately rant to G-d.  i have been lucky not to have met anyone i know; during one of my rants.

my posture has been awful.  i have been stooped over while i walk.  i have been experiencing back pain lately.  i thought i had strained my back in the pool.  it might be due to the heat wave we have had. and i am one, who finds it difficult to drink enough water.  i used to be a coffee addict but i haven't idulged in any in over ten years.  sddenly one day; the smell of coffee nauseated me.  i used to live near a coffee factory in safed. i tried on various occassions to make a coffee and it all resulted in me pouring them down the drain.  i am now a chai tea person/addict who must have it with sugarless almond milk.

i do not have a lactose intolerance.  i just, cannot stand the smell of milk. this too, happened suddenly. the same thing goes for sugar.  i cannot stand the taste of cane sugar, honey or maple syrup.  i eat a few dates every day and i like my fruit but i cannot stand cakes, cookies or muffins that are sweetened.  i also developed a dislike of products with yeast.  i buy spelt pitas that are sugar, salt and yeast free.  i have become a freak.  i am not gluten free but i do not feel well after eating poofed up bread.  i also have a fear of preservatives.  no E's for me if i can avoid it.  so; will all of these changes in my diet help me preserve my brain function and will i start to remember all of the words for things that i have forgotten recently?. 

Almost Shabbat

it is 3:30 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  i went to the pool this morning.  it opens at 10:00 a.m.  usually the seniors are doing their laps at that time.  i don't swim.  i doggie paddle.  it isn't comfortable and i can't do more than 20 laps.  that takes hours to accomplish.  i like to cool off and be at the pool when it ivery hot and quiet there.  i can't stand when the teenagers come. they jump, they splash, they scream and they interrupt the seniors doing their laps.  they usually do not stay in the water that long.  they sun bathe, and eat and then come back in. ny then i am done.

i got to the pool at 10:30 a.m.  the pool was nearly empty .  my gal pals were already doing their laps.  it was hot and the water wasn't cold so i didn't need to get acclimated to the water.  i was doing my laps when the sky turned black.  one of my friends got out of the pool. it looked like it was going to start raining.  i stayed in.  a moment later i heard the thunder so i got out. we saw the lightning and decided to get going.  we live a couple of blocks from the pool.  i walked home in the downpour.  i was already wet from the pool so i didn't really care.

i got home and quickly rinsed out my pool clothes. i swim in a leotard and exercise tights and a turban.  i took a hot shower and went into the kitchen to grab some lunch.  i had baked a huge sweet potato for this evening's shabbat meal but it was still hot and i couldn't resist.  afterwards; i helped myself to a turkey wing and a leek; also prepared for shabbat.  i added the rest of the buckwheat groats i had cooked earlier in the week.  i had thought about eating it tonight.

i am uncomfortably stuffed now.  i made a couple of salmon filets in the toaster oven.  i can not use my oven now that i have plugged in my new hoover top loader washing machine to the same outlet.  after i finished eating everything; i found an extension cord and connected the oven to another outlet.  problem solved.  however, the extenson cord hangs over the dogs' food bowls and it makes me a tad nervous.  i will have to venture out on sunday and buy a couple of suction hooks so i can hang up the extension cord on the wall.  

i did tons of laundry yesterday in my new washing machine.  i have been washing everything in the bathtub for the past three years.  what a difference!  i feel like a queen.  i cooked most of the shabat food yesterday, after i did the laundry.  i made a small cholent of meat, potatoes and black beans and  i have bones for the dogs to enjoy.  i also made a few turkey wings with leeks and carrots.  i baked banana,blueberry and walnut muffins.  i used chick pea flour, almond milk and a bit of coconut oil.  this is a made up recipe. it is not rocket science.  sometimes i get a baker's dozen and sometimes i get less.  yesterday, i got 9.  i baked them in individual cups because i couldn't fit the muffin tin in my tiny toaster oven.

i usually indulge in a muffin or two on shabbat.  my baking relies on bananas for its sweetness.  i do not use sugar, honey,  maple and agave syrups or stevia.  i do occassionally; but really; hardly ever; drizzle a bit of honey on something.  sometimes, i add a bit of almond flour to the chick pea batter.  yesterday i did not.  they slid out of the aluminum muffin tins, easily.  they were kind of flat. i like them dense.  i don't like fluffy bread or muffins. i do not serve my baked goods to my friends.  these are reserved for me. likewise; i   do not partake of my friends' baked goods.  they are much too sweet for me.

i cleaned and mopped the floors yesterday while i was doing laundry.  so, i am done and ready for shabbat.  the house is clean, i am showered and the food is done.  i might make a salad for later.  i just baked a couple of beets to serve sliced.  i am a lady of leisure.  i honestly, am too tired to move right now. my back aches from the dog paddling and i am too tired to take my daily walk.  maybe i will go out later this evening.  who knows?   wishing you all a shabbat shalom!

A Brave New World

 it is 3:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  we buried another young man this week in the military section of the safed cemmetery.  this young man was a border police soldier.  he was a commander at the 'ripe' old age of 20 years old.  an egyptian border policeman went into our space and murdered 3 young soldiers. it was no accident.  and it was not any battle.  it was a terrorist attack.  the other two soldiers were 19 and 20 years old.  i didn't know about this or i would have gone to the burial.

i am pretty sure that most of the town was there.  that's 2 young safed men murdered in the prime of their lives within 2 weeks of each other.  it is almost too hard to bare. safed is a small town in the north.  when i came in 1984; the population wasn't yet 6000 people. with the massive russian and ethiopian immigration throughout the years; it has grown considerably but it is still a little town. most people know the family of the slain soldier.

i skipped the pool this morning because the technician for my new hoover top loading washing machine came this morning.  i bought the machine back in january.  it took me a while to get a plumber to install a faucet and new pipes.  that was after i got another plumber to unblock the sewer pipe.  i hadn't used this sink since i moved here.  that's almost 22 years.  i couldn't get a plumber to install the machine without a technician coming to set it up and test run it.  it took a couple of months for me to get the apliance store to order the technician to come to safed.

i had a maytag for many years.  it was a tank.  i couldn't get a plumber to successfully hook it up to the hot water tap so i used it with cold water.  it was okay for anything that wasn't stained.   i then had people staying in my downstairs and they used my laundry area for their machine so believe it or not; i did my laundry in the bathtub for 3 years.  i had wanted to make a laundry upstairs but someone dicided that they needed the space. there didn't appear anywhere to set one up, apparently.

today, i stayed home and did 3 batches of laundry.  it is amazing and so very easy. easy on the back and easy on the knees.  who knew??? i did most of my towels and the spinning cycle is amazing.  the towels are just slightly damp.  i was used to wringing them out by hand and running way across the house with soaking wet, heavy towels and leaving behing puddles of water.  how ridiculous.  it is amazing how  one can deprive themselves of normal comfort for so long.

i also was using a small refrigerater for a couple of years because my normal large one, needed a new chip. i needed to play around with everything in the freezer and rearrange the order so i could add other food items. i learned to put all cooked food into containers because i couldn't fit any pots in the fridge. it's actually not the best to store food in pots but we all do it.  i came into a bit of money and bought myself a larger fridge.  it is still not a large fridge but i am managing. it is white.  it was hard to get used to.  i then bought a small top loader washing machine which has remained unused for 5 months.  i also bought a new computer so i could blog again. i used that right away.

my new motto is taking care of zelda.  at 72, i am finally putting myself first.  i am making sure that i am comfortable and that everything works in my house.  i have slowly taken back my power and am trying to live a good life.  i go to the neighborhood pool to relax, dog paddle a bit and get out of the house for a coupple of hours.  i try to do a 45 minute stroll every day.  i try to eat green.  i try to stay away from too many chemicals.  i want to be the best zelda i can be.

A New Week

it is 9:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  just got back from my daily/ nightly walk.  it was way too hot to walk during the day. i made it to synagogue to hear the weekly torah portion.  there was no airconditioner or fans running.  i tried to breathe and not panic.  i thought about going home but i was tired.  as it was, i left before the service ended.  as soon as i left the synagogue, huge rain drops descended.  it was like hailing by the time i got home. i live about five minutes from the synagogue.  i was definately wet, but not soaked.  it was strange.  the rain was actually cold.  i expected warm rain on such a hot day.  it was around 90 degrees out and the size of the drops falling were llike hail balls.  i didn't run.  i looked around.  it was like summer and winter all rolled into one.

i quickly changed into dry clothes and made kuddush.  i drank some wine.  i had a lovely salad waiting for me and i added bits of cooked salmon and a hard cooked egg.  i didn't leave the electric hot plate on.  i had luke warm chai tea with almond milk.  i had a baked sweet potato for dessert. it was sweeter than any pastry i could have wanted.  i bentched and went to lie down.  i was very tired.  i guess the heat knocked me out.  i slept for a few moments and got up.  i spent the day reading a dick francis murder mystery.

at 4:00 p.m. i took the dogs out.  it was a bit windy but definately, still hot.  i decided to wait until the sun went down to go out again. i went back in and had another salad.  i am trying to shed a few unwanted pounds.  i hadn't gained weight in a while.  i recently started binge eating again.  it is now considered an eating disorder like bulemia or anorexia.  i had not indulged in quite a while. i try not weighing myself and usually can tell by how my clothes fit if there is a change.  i guess i goofed.

i need to be out of the house for a few hours so that i don't just eat out of boredom.  although, i eat mostly healthy and unprocessed foods and avoid sugar, you can gain weight by just eating too much.  today i made sure to eat alot of green salad with a bit of protein.  i used to eat salad three times a day.  i don't remember when i stopped.  i am back to working 45 minutes a day.  i used to walk much more than that.  most of my friends do not walk much for various reasons.  hopefully, i will get myself back on track soon. i find it hard to do my walk and also do the pool.  i will cut down on the amount i eat and try to be conscious of when i eat and why.

Shabbat Shalom june 2023

 it is 5:30 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  candlelighting is at 7:15 this evening.  i need to do some washing up and mop the floor.  i didn't join my friends at the pool this morning.  i needed to take a walk more than dog paddling across the pool. i set out about 9:00 a.m. and stopped at the health food store.  i wanted some kale.  kale is not found here, easily.  i was disappointed.  i bought an organic romaine lettuce and a kilo of dates.  i was back home at 10:00 a.m. when the pool opens.  it was very grey outside and smoggy.  i wanted to be indoors. we are all coughing from all the brown dust from the wind storms.

at 3:00 p.m. i thought about going to the pool.  i thought about just jumping in and getting wet and walking home in my wet clothes.  i wear a long sleeved leotard and exercise tights.  i never made it to the pool.  i baked a couple of sweet potatoes, broiled a piece of salmon, cooked some splelt noodles, made some buckwheat groats and braised a few turkey wings.  i also boiled some eggs and made a nice green salad with tomatoes and red cabbage.  i was thinking about making some chumus but i ran out of energy.

it is about 97 degress outside.  they say it will cool down about 10 degrees tonight.  i am knocked out by this heat.  i cooked some chicken fillets for the dogs.  i had some left over white rice, so they had a nice lunch.  i had a large bowl of kasha and spelt noodles.  i also had some salmon.  tonight i will have the turkey wings and a sweet potato.  i will have the salad and salmon for lunch. i do not have airconditioning  in my home.  i use a ceiling fan in my t.v. room.  right now i am blogging from my computer room a.k.a, my grandson's guest bedroom.

i am typing on my new computer.  i held out for awhile from buying one.  i have been doing everything on my smart phone for a few years now but i suddenly got the urge to blog again; and i couldn't manage on my phone. i used to get comments from all over the world.  i couldn't imagine that people in china read my silly blog.  anyway, i want to continue blogging. writing comments on face book isn't enough. 

a 32 year old father of two babies; was murdered this week by a terrorist.  the name seemed familiar.  i realized that i knew his family.  he was raised in safed at kiryat chabad in canaan.  i think my son went to school with his older brother.  the weather here is grey and heavy as well as our hearts. how many more sacrifices?  how much more bloodshed?  it is with heavy heart, i sign off.  wishing you all a shabbat shalom

We're Having A Heat Wave

 it is 9:30 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  i am heading out soon to the local neighborhood pool.  i already had a lovely chat and coffee break with my gardener.  it is lovely to be able to discuss current events with a man who speaks english.  i call him the voice of reason.  i get the israeli take on things from someone who was raised in a kibuutz.  today's discussion was about the extreme rise in food and how the modern day family can afford to feed itself.  i became quite agitated at the supermarket yesterday when i spent $150 on cleaning supplies and a bit of fruit and vegetables.  i live alone and can now afford basically, anything i want to eat.  However, my son and wife cannot.  today's mom goes to work and relies on frozen foods to pop in the microwave when she comes home.  

i started eating healthy and green during covid.  i gave up all processed foods. i do not buy catered food nor do i dine out in restaurants.  i cook my own food.  today's moms do not have the time to do this.  today's kids are used to fast foods and tons of treats.  today's moms do not dole out the treats.  today's kids are home alone, inactive and bored.  they nash all afternoon long.  they are used to the processed microwave foods, too.  i can't imagine them coming home to a plate of grains and potatoes and beans.

i am sure that somewhere out there; moms cook from scratch and don't rely on corn schnitzels shaped like dinosaurs.  i do worry about the large families here.  most summer fruits are untouchable.  luckily, watermelon is affordable.  i myself, buy melons.  yesterday, i spent $10 for a small package of cherries.  it was sheer indulgence.  i was in a mood, you might say.  most elderly people; i know; would not.  i was feeling no pain.  i spent a lot of time fretting and felt very guilty afterwards.  i recently spent $300 on fruit rollups for the grandkids.  what the hell, was i thinking??

so i will go to the pool and meditate.  i will dog paddle my way across the pool and think about my life.  i will try to be more frugal.  i will try to simplify my life.  i will try to be calm.  i will try to breathe.  i will try to imagine that the spot on my left lung, the cancerous growth, is happy and relaxed.  i will try to feel grateful that i can afford to buy a pool membership and that i can afford the occasional package of cherries.

they predict that tomorrow will be 96 degrees here.  i am so thankful to have the pool.  i do not have air conditioning here.  i am grateful that my house, which is wickedly cold in winter; is very comfortable in summer.  that is most of the time.  but it works for me right now.