Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Super Tired

it is 9:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.   I have been working all day to get the sheva bracha together.  we got back from the family wedding at 2:00 a.m.  I ate way too much.  before I went to sleep I munched out on 2 large whole wheat baguettes.   I was so tired and wasted.  I didn't even drink anything.

I had a virus or flu on sunday.  I couldn't function in the morning.  I wanted to glue a few sequins onto my new dressy moccasins.  I couldn't coordinate my hands.  I could hardly focus.  my eyes were very googlely, as we used to say.  I had some chest pains and I thought to myself, at one point, that I might be having a heart attack.  I knew I had to rest a bit.  I made it to town and helped pack up the costumes and props for my friend's play.  unfortunately, she planned the date of the play on the night of my family wedding.  I came for the dress rehearsal and hung out for a few hours.  I was really tired.  the cast was bummed that I couldn't make it to the show.

I made it out of the house at 2:00 p.m. and searched the town for a better dress shoe for the wedding.  between my two wide feet and the bunyan on the right foot, I have a very hard time finding nice looking shoes.  I can only wear square shaped kid leather shoes.  everything else presses into the bone and I suffer.  I found an orthopedic pair of beaded moccasins which definitely, pressed into the bunyan.  I told myself that it was just one night of suffering.  they actually were comfortable until the end of the night when I had the most excruciating pain.

I actually obsessed about the shoes.  I had found a pair of shoes a month ago, that looked like my weekday square shoe with shiny beads.  they had it in silver but not in my size.  I had the sales person order them for me but I never made it back to buy them.  an hour before I was supposed to be picked up, I was in town near the shoe store.  they were closed.  I was devastated.  I spent hours looking for a dressy head covering.

I didn't want to wear the raggedy ann look alike synthetic wig that my friend gave me.  it was bright red and very straight.  the crowd I was being with doesn't wear wigs.  I tried wearing the wig with a netted snood but I felt silly.  I wanted a turban.  I searched the entire town to buy a simple turban.  half an hour before I was supposed to be picked up, I found one.  it was silver with black splotches.  it was very shiny.  it was easy to throw on.

the wedding was very lovely.  it was like a Deja-vu experience being there again.  I married off my son there 8 years ago with my dying mother present.  I looked at the wedding pix and I have aged terribly.  8 years ago I was one hot mama.  I still had eyebrows, a decent figure and a decent wig.  I wore the same dress last night.  somehow I fit into it.  I was a good twenty pounds thinner then.  I looked elegant yesterday but heavy and old.

I had a hard time getting up today.  I finally went downstairs to start setting up for the meal tomorrow night.  I set one table to see how it looked.  I realized that buying the super cheap disposable dishes and cutlery was a mistake.  I should have gone for the designer disposable.  everything else looks good.  I heard all about last night's show.  apparently, it was a great success.  I am happy for everyone.  I can't believe they thought I should ditch the wedding to be at the play.  family comes first.  no play is that important.

I didn't get a chance to dance with the bride last night.  as usual, the granddaughter fell asleep in my lap.  I spent the first part of the wedding feeding the kids.  it was freezing there and I kept myself wrapped in my jacket.  I was very melancholy.  I thought to myself and then made a silent prayer to the 'man' upstairs to let me live to see my grandchildren married.  I am 65 and my granddaughter is 5.  I am a cancer survivor and I still need to have a brain tumor removed. what are the chances?

I washed the lettuce and salad greens and sliced the red cabbage.  tomorrow I will assemble it to make a salad with thousand island dressing.  I have a green cabbage that I want to make into a sweet slaw with walnuts, apples and cranberries.  I made a vat of mashed potatoes yesterday and I just fried up some onions and mushrooms.  hopefully, tomorrow, i'll make a mashed potato kugel.  I ran out of eggs and was too cold and tired to run to the store.

I made some liver teriyaki for my daughter-in-law and her sister.  I made 4 1/2 pounds of Sephardi turkey meatballs and kept pretty much to the recipe.  at the last moment I went renegade and added a teaspoon of allspice.  I think I blew it.  the recipe also calls for frozen peas.  I didn't have any.  I guess tomorrow morning, i'll run out and buy some.  I still have 2 pounds of frozen string beans to make.  I bought chumus and a spicy tomato salad.   I opened 2 cans of diced pineapple.  it had a strange flavor.  can canned fruit go bad???  I added a bunch of desiccated coconut and some honey and ginger.   hopefully, it will taste better after refrigeration.  I have no idea how many people are coming tomorrow.

my grandson has his party for receiving his first prayer book tomorrow.  we will literally come back from the party moments before the guests arrive.  I will have to leave everything on the electric hotplate before I leave for the party.  I don't enjoy the stress.  I haven't had any caffeine today.  I need to get to the store to buy tea, too.   I have to bake a chocolate cake tomorrow.  I am making a variation of a black forest cake.  it will only be one layer smothered in cherry pie filling and covered with chocolate pudding and whipped cream.  something tells me that the Sephardim aren't going to like it.  I ask myself, why do I bother?  they'd be happier with just plain chocolate cake and whipped cream.   why did I have to add so much allspice to the meatball sauce.

this is no time to have leftovers so close to pesach.  I don't have any more freezer space.  I will finish  setting up the downstairs tomorrow morning.  I am beat.  I still haven't bought my matzah and I am beginning to panic.  I  would love to call it a day but I have to stay up because my son is bringing another table for the party after tonight's party.  the bride and groom are having a small 'moving in' party.  it will be cold cuts and salads thus, I won't be serving the cold cuts and pickles that I bought for my party.  I froze one package and will save the other for pesach.  maybe the grandkids will want them.

I made some bulgur and will turn it into a tabouli salad tomorrow with chopped cucumbers and tomatoes and cilantro.  the Sephardi grandma is binging a 'pot' of rice tomorrow so I didn't make a bulgur pilaf.  I hope the meatballs will get eaten.  this Sephardi grandma doesn't use allspice.  what was I thinking?

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Who's Got The Liver?

it is 7:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  just got back from the small supermarket.  I ran down to buy some chicken liver.  the daughter-in-law wants some of my yummy liver teriyaki at the sheva bracha.  I wasn't planning on making any.  I made a small amount on Purim.   the daughter-in-law's married sister liked it.  l don't know about the rest of the clan.  anyhow, there wasn't any liver to be found.  perhaps some will come in tomorrow.  they are having their 10 shekel sale so I bought a package of dates, a 3 pack of 60% dark chocolate, 3 cans of Italian diced tomatoes, 2 cans of pickles and three gift items for my neighbors.

because they were so inexpensive, I need to buy something to supplement the gifts.  for example, a package of herbal tea to go with the 2 ceramic mugs and  a package of some exotic spice mix to go with the spice jars, etc.  I don't know why I keep on buying chocolate. I'm on a diet and my 7 year old grandson has temporarily sworn off chocolate.  I started my morning with banana pancakes.  one mashed banana and two beaten eggs and voila!  they were actually very filling and had the consistency of real gluten pancakes.  I will make them on pesach and serve them with honey.

the repairman came over with my new plastic toilet tank.  I entered the guest bedroom and decided to put up the new wallpaper border.  I ripped the old one off last week.  this new one is a cheap contact paper kind.  it actually ripped in a few places but who's starring up at the ceiling, anyway?  my new self, who doesn't strive for perfection anymore, was delighted with the results.  I was quite frightened to climb the ladder.  I couldn't make it to the last rung.  the task ended up being very doable.  I am glad I pursued.  while the plumber fiddled in the bathroom, I put up the border. 

when he left the bathroom was trashed.  I decided to clean the bathroom and the guest bedroom with buckets of water and bleach.  I managed to take out the bedroom windows.  putting them back in was a bit harder.  I wonder how much longer I will be able to do this in the future.  I took down the curtains but didn't wash them.  no one eats in the bedroom.  a friend uses it when she stays over on Shabbat and holidays.  I store sheets and blankets and old baby clothes in the closets.  the room is usually vacant.  recently, the kids played havoc in the room; sliding off of mattresses and hanging out of the windows.  my screen got tossed out of the window and I couldn't put it back without removing the heavy windows.

I need to strip the bed and do a lot of laundry. it is supposed to rain for the next few days.   every year I do my windows and it rains soon afterwards.  I don't really care.  I don't feel like waiting to the last minute to do the windows.  so now I have to put away the Purim costumes and props and wash the floor of the computer room.  I have already done the windows.  I still have the master bedroom to tackle.  that's a hard one.  I have tons of clothes strewn all over the room.  the bed is covered with dog hair and the dog ate part of the foam mattress.  I don't have a functional vacuum so I use a lint brush.  I'm not looking forward to this task.

the main part of the kitchen is done.  the closets have been wiped clean.  all of the candlesticks and most of the Judaica collection have been polished as well as the silver spoon collection.  the 1939 world's fair spoons have never looked shinier.  I didn't do the living room windows last year.  I can't lift them anymore.  I doubt that my son will have time to help me.  the room is basically clean.  the cut-glass and fake flowers have been washed.  the wooden furniture has been polished. 

when the grandkids are not here I can get a lot done.  it took me about 6 hours to finish the bathroom and guest bedroom.  yesterday, I spent the afternoon out in the playground with the kids.  I was quite tired and decided to spend 'quality' time with the kids.  when I try to do tasks in another room all hell breaks out.  it was warm yesterday and the kids had the playground to themselves.  I guess the rest of the moms were cleaning.   I bought myself a lovely salad at the bakery and got the kids some barekas.  I bought some gnocchi but the kids just picked at it.  I ended up eating a huge plate full and didn't feel all that great afterwards.  I wanted to eat a chocolate bar or two but luckily, I fell asleep before I could do more damage to my body.

my new, non perfect self, will wear a dress that I wore 8 years ago to my son's wedding.  although I weigh about twenty pounds more, I cannot afford to be vain.  I cannot, also afford a new outfit, hat ,wig or pair of shoes.  my new motto is 'it's good enough'.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

So Tired

it is 12:15 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  the grandkids are coming over at 2:00 p.m.  yesterday they nearly killed me.  the granddaughter gave me a few sharp blows to my lower back which started the sciatica acting up.  I took them outside to play on their scooter.  they go coasting down a hill together and it lets out some steam.  the weather is threatening.  the sun comes out for a while and then it rains.  I herded the kids and dogs back home when it started drizzling.  the sky was black and looked ominous.  back at home, they were both being aggressive and taunting me and the dogs all evening.

they finally settled down after I showered them.  luckily, one of the aunts came at 8:00 p.m. to take them home.  it's much better for them and myself, that they fall asleep in their own beds.  they are always happy and very affectionate when they go home.  while they are here, they are wild and do not listen to me.  I find myself telling them that I do not want them visiting me again.  we all feel bad afterwards.  how much patience am I to exhibit?  I am tired and worn out from pesach cleaning.  I feel very pressured.

next week is the family wedding.  I still haven't coordinated with my daughter-in-law which day to host the dinner for the bride and groom.  I still haven't fully planned the menu, either.  I am going with turkey meatballs and a bulgur pilaf.  I have cold cuts, chumus, and possibly, hard cooed eggs for appetizers.  this group does not know from devilled eggs.  I bought a huge bag of string beans and I have some canned mushrooms.  originally, I thought about making a mashed potato kugel to go with the cold cuts.  I just don't know if I want to bother.  I'm thinking about buying frozen barekas.

I'm still not sure about the dessert.  I have a recipe for a black forest no bake cake with chocolate mousse and cherry filling.  there is only one place in safed that I know of that sells cherry filling in a can.  I don't know if I want to bother.  I do have a package of lady fingers that I would love to get rid of before pesach.   I still need disposable serving dishes.  I do not see myself dragging china platters to the downstairs apartment.  I am also trying to get rid of my dirty laundry.  I have tons of towels and sheets but we don't have any sunny days to hang them outside.  I dismantled the hose from my dryer.

when I'm not cleaning for pesach, I feel guilty.  and as much as I tell myself to abstain from doing spring cleaning, the polishe clean freak comes out.  I have managed to do the windows in the computer room and in the kitchen.  I know it is unwise to do this now because we are having storms and they will get muddied once again.  I can't help myself.  I can always windex them from the outside.  I haven't used any chemicals yet.  I ran out of windex and just used a rag and soap and water.  I wiped them dry with newspaper.

I shined the silver with toothpaste and I shined the brass with lemons from the tree.  I  haven't used the heavy duty oven cleaner yet.  next week after I throw the dinner party, I will finish the kitchen.  I still need to put away the purim stuff.  at least it's confined to just one room.  it's all on the bed in the computer room.  the closet doors are stuck so it is hard to fully open the closets to clean.  just one more expense I have that I can't afford right now.  the local yokel handyman couldn't fix the closet.  he probably charged me for it but made it worse.

I need to replace the toilet tank in the main bathroom.  the handyman is dragging his feet about taking care of this.  it will be a small fortune .  it is very hard without the use of the toilet.  even though I have another two toilets, this is the one we use the most.  it's hard for the kids to run to the hallway to use the new toilet there.  it's also hard for me.  in the middle of the night, it's a bummer to run into the hallway to use the toilet there.

I have been trying to drastically diet for Monday's wedding.  I am out of cabbage soup and I ate 4 eggs yesterday.  I bought pesach cookies for the kids to munch.  I don't want real cookies in the house now.  the kids didn't really eat much yesterday.  I opened cans of corn and mushrooms but they didn't want tuna fish.  I made eggs but I ended up eating them.  I didn't feel so well later that night.  I ran out of cash and am saving the rest of the shopping until I can write some more checks. 

I think that I am finished with cleaning today.  maybe if I give the kids more attention they will act better.  I do not want to be an ogre.  one of the actresses in my friend's play quit this week.  she is in the middle of a psychotic break.  she actually believes that she wrote the script and that my friend stole it from her.  so much for my props and costumes.  I worked on these since the end of the summer.  I schlepped home a kid's plastic pool from the garbage, went shopping for long john's and bathing trunks, made a slip not tutu, sewed blonde curls to a swin cap, spent hours in the purim shop, and searched for dresses.  I also made cake, cookies, quiche and a steak from sponges.  oh well.......

Friday, March 17, 2017

Almost Pesach 2017

it is 5:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  candle lighting for Shabbat is in a little while.  the kids are away for Shabbat.  another family wedding took them out of town last night.  my daughter-in-law's sister gets married on the 27th.  I am feeling the pressure of making the sheva brachot already.  I have been watching the kids a lot lately, as family members go searching for outfits.

I have two possibilities, myself.  the dress I wore for my son's wedding eight years ago, and another black skirt and top.  I can fit into both but my stomach is enormous.  I have been food binging the last couple of days.  I have been working on pesach cleaning , costumes for the play and taking care of the kids.  I still haven't put away the Purim stuff.  I ate a half kilo of m&ms.  I was supposed to serve them at the after the wedding meal.  oh well......

purim came and went pretty fast.  there was such a build up before hand.  I had a terrific headache the night of the adult purim party and could not enjoy myself.  in fact, I had the headache all Shabbat.  the weather here changed to cold and rainy again.  my head was throbbing for days.  I drank sangria for relief but it didn't really do any good.

I spent a lot of time on my oompa lumpa costume and it felt like it was all in vain.  I even sprayed a small wig green but I didn't have any satisfaction from the look.  I rushed to town after the megillah reading and the grandkids were up here at the synagogue for a family party.  they were bummed out that I wasn't there and I also was bummed out at my old city party.  li felt all alone.  everyone was families and couples.

the meal and house party was great.  everyone was in a great mood.  the music was blasting so you couldn't have a conversation.  everyone was dancing,  everyone kept going into my costume room and reappearing as something else.  there was tons of spray paint and everyone, except myself, ended up with green hair.  the Sephardi grandpa sprayed his beard green, too.  there was tons of food and sweets.  Johnny walker black and jack daniels made the rounds.  I stuck to my cheap vodka and fresh squeezed orange juice.

I brought a friend from synagogue back to the house.  it was nice having another English speaker around.  we stopped at a neighbor to give a food package and I had a cup of pomegranate wine.  it quieted my headache a tad.  the kids got this enormous package of sweets.  this year I didn't make chocolates.  I bought a small box of hamentashen form the supermarket, too.

I polished my silver spoon collection, assorted chanukiahs and other judaica.  I will try to do both my silver and brass candlesticks on Saturday night.  I cleaned out all of my kitchen closets and drawers and did the freezer and fridge.  I even bought chicken and beef for pesach.  I also bought chopped turkey and chicken fillets for the after wedding meal.  I plan on making meatballs and a stir fry.  instead of kugels I am going to make a bulgur pilaf.   I would like to do the meatballs next week and freeze them.

my daughter-in-law will have to do the salads and desserts.  I am clean out of ideas and money.  I bought the paper goods and drinks and plastic cutlery.  I made a couple of bridal centerpieces and 50 chocolate bride and grooms and 40 sackets of white and black jelly beans.  I would love to get the room set up in advance.  it all comes down to the kids' schedules.  aas for me, I am trying do get as much pesach cleaning out of the way when I am alone.

I have some leftover turkey black-eyed pea stew and fish fillets for dinner.  I already ate a ton today.  I am planning on going on a cabbage soup routine all next week.  I hope I can shed a few pounds before the wedding.  famous last words.

Friday, March 10, 2017

Almost Purim 2017

it is 11:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  I got up at 6:00 a.m. and ran to the kitchen to make a pitcher of sangria.  I bought a cheap bottle of rosé and picked the last of the oranges off the tree.  I didn't have the strength to run to the store to buy some brandy so I poured the last few tablespoons of the tequila bottle.  I added a cup of fresh squeezed lemon juice and some organic brown sugar.  tomorrow night is the annual purim party at the mystic mountain brewery.

this year the skit is "Willy Wonker And The Cholent Factory'.  I like to dress up according to their theme.  last year I was a dead rock star and a bearded transvestite the year before that.  this year I am going as a female umpa lumpa from the original gene wilder movie.  I checked online to find a look.  I couldn't find a green wig in town so I spray painted a short platinum page boy wig.  it didn't take to all of the wig so I have a greenish platinum wig.  I didn't bother buying suspenders.  I made a pair from some wide white elastic I found hanging around.  I covered it with striped ribbon and glued brown buttons on it. I did buy a pair of brown and yellow striped stockings.  I don't own a pair of pants so I am wearing a long white skirt.

I spent a fortune on purim, props, art supplies and bridal decorations for the upcoming bridal celebration dinner.  I have been multi tasking lately.  I am truly grateful to my psychic sister and my biological sister for helping me out financially lately.  it has been wonderful to feel like a person again without fretting about money.  I shopped for Purim food with a free mind.  I bought some meat and chicken fillets but decided to save it for Pesach.  I bought a package of frozen stuffed meat pastilles and a package of potato filled cigarettes.  I also bought a small package of hamentashen.  no baking for me this year!.

I am having the clan over for Purim.  I wasn't planning on cooking this year.  I really wanted to be low key but the kids wanted to come here.  since they moved out they appreciate me more and we all get along better with some distance between us.  I have had the grandkids here a lot lately.  I have let them make Purim decorations and pictures galore.  the kitchen looks quite decorative.  I am in the process of straightening up the house.  i can't explain how dirty and messy it was.  I finally cleared up the living room and washed the floor.  I still had loads of bags left over from the kids' move.

I finally got it all sorted out.  some things were stored here and others thrown out.  I even managed to take some clothes over to the second hand charity store.  I know the house will be thoroughly trashed on Purim so I won't go too crazy.  I cooked a couple of dishes for Purim this morning.  I made a pot of beef meatballs with a  'middle easterny' tomato sauce.  I also made a pot of super, spicy turkey stew with black eyed peas and chickpeas.  I read somewhere that it is a traditional Purim dish.

my daughter-in-law invited me for dinner so I don't need to cook.  I will just make some salmon for lunch.  on Sunday I will broil up some barbecue chicken wings, make a green salad and a cole slaw.  I was going to make a chicken stir-fry but I think I will not have time.  I will probably be hung over from the party and I won't sleep at all.  I have to hear the megilla in the morning and get the table set up.  luckily, I found paper plates that I had bought for my son's birthday.  they were color themed after his favorite soccer team.  the daughter-in-law passed on them.  oh well, their loss, and my gain.

I have soft drinks and my son will provide the wine.  I spent a small fortune at the open air market buying jelly beans and little m&m lookalike candies.  I made 25 little cellophane packets of the 'm&m's' and placed them in a huge wine glass to make a  centerpiece for Purim.   each bag has a Purim sticker.  I will take an additional 25 packets to use as cholent beans at the Willie Wonker party.  we will probably end up on stage and I will throw the beans into the audience.  I made 40 little bridal packets with the white and black jelly beans.  each cellophane bag has a different bridal sticker. I searched high and low for black and for white jelly beans.  I didn't make Purim themed chocolates this year.   I made over 300 for the engagement party.  I have 50 chocolate bride and groom ones in the freezer.  I have my yellow and blue plates, and two types of clown napkins to match.  I bought clown lollies to give to the small children.

I bought canned fruit cocktail for dessert.  I may throw some apple slices into the mix.  the Sephardi grandmother is making pitas, cake, couscous and meat.  I have it easy.  happy Purim and a good Shabbat!!