So Tired

it is 12:15 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  the grandkids are coming over at 2:00 p.m.  yesterday they nearly killed me.  the granddaughter gave me a few sharp blows to my lower back which started the sciatica acting up.  I took them outside to play on their scooter.  they go coasting down a hill together and it lets out some steam.  the weather is threatening.  the sun comes out for a while and then it rains.  I herded the kids and dogs back home when it started drizzling.  the sky was black and looked ominous.  back at home, they were both being aggressive and taunting me and the dogs all evening.

they finally settled down after I showered them.  luckily, one of the aunts came at 8:00 p.m. to take them home.  it's much better for them and myself, that they fall asleep in their own beds.  they are always happy and very affectionate when they go home.  while they are here, they are wild and do not listen to me.  I find myself telling them that I do not want them visiting me again.  we all feel bad afterwards.  how much patience am I to exhibit?  I am tired and worn out from pesach cleaning.  I feel very pressured.

next week is the family wedding.  I still haven't coordinated with my daughter-in-law which day to host the dinner for the bride and groom.  I still haven't fully planned the menu, either.  I am going with turkey meatballs and a bulgur pilaf.  I have cold cuts, chumus, and possibly, hard cooed eggs for appetizers.  this group does not know from devilled eggs.  I bought a huge bag of string beans and I have some canned mushrooms.  originally, I thought about making a mashed potato kugel to go with the cold cuts.  I just don't know if I want to bother.  I'm thinking about buying frozen barekas.

I'm still not sure about the dessert.  I have a recipe for a black forest no bake cake with chocolate mousse and cherry filling.  there is only one place in safed that I know of that sells cherry filling in a can.  I don't know if I want to bother.  I do have a package of lady fingers that I would love to get rid of before pesach.   I still need disposable serving dishes.  I do not see myself dragging china platters to the downstairs apartment.  I am also trying to get rid of my dirty laundry.  I have tons of towels and sheets but we don't have any sunny days to hang them outside.  I dismantled the hose from my dryer.

when I'm not cleaning for pesach, I feel guilty.  and as much as I tell myself to abstain from doing spring cleaning, the polishe clean freak comes out.  I have managed to do the windows in the computer room and in the kitchen.  I know it is unwise to do this now because we are having storms and they will get muddied once again.  I can't help myself.  I can always windex them from the outside.  I haven't used any chemicals yet.  I ran out of windex and just used a rag and soap and water.  I wiped them dry with newspaper.

I shined the silver with toothpaste and I shined the brass with lemons from the tree.  I  haven't used the heavy duty oven cleaner yet.  next week after I throw the dinner party, I will finish the kitchen.  I still need to put away the purim stuff.  at least it's confined to just one room.  it's all on the bed in the computer room.  the closet doors are stuck so it is hard to fully open the closets to clean.  just one more expense I have that I can't afford right now.  the local yokel handyman couldn't fix the closet.  he probably charged me for it but made it worse.

I need to replace the toilet tank in the main bathroom.  the handyman is dragging his feet about taking care of this.  it will be a small fortune .  it is very hard without the use of the toilet.  even though I have another two toilets, this is the one we use the most.  it's hard for the kids to run to the hallway to use the new toilet there.  it's also hard for me.  in the middle of the night, it's a bummer to run into the hallway to use the toilet there.

I have been trying to drastically diet for Monday's wedding.  I am out of cabbage soup and I ate 4 eggs yesterday.  I bought pesach cookies for the kids to munch.  I don't want real cookies in the house now.  the kids didn't really eat much yesterday.  I opened cans of corn and mushrooms but they didn't want tuna fish.  I made eggs but I ended up eating them.  I didn't feel so well later that night.  I ran out of cash and am saving the rest of the shopping until I can write some more checks. 

I think that I am finished with cleaning today.  maybe if I give the kids more attention they will act better.  I do not want to be an ogre.  one of the actresses in my friend's play quit this week.  she is in the middle of a psychotic break.  she actually believes that she wrote the script and that my friend stole it from her.  so much for my props and costumes.  I worked on these since the end of the summer.  I schlepped home a kid's plastic pool from the garbage, went shopping for long john's and bathing trunks, made a slip not tutu, sewed blonde curls to a swin cap, spent hours in the purim shop, and searched for dresses.  I also made cake, cookies, quiche and a steak from sponges.  oh well.......