All Night Long

it's well after midnight in the holy city of zefat and it's the first moment that i am free to blog. i woke up this morning to the sound of sahar crying. it was around 7:00 a.m. i was supposed to babysit for him today so i went downstairs and brought him to my floor a bit early.

he was not at his finest. he smelled of pish. i quickly changed his diaper and put on 'baby luli'. i made myself a strong coffee and i made a bottle of camomille tea for sahar. i wanted to go to yoga at 9:00 a.m. his aunt offered to watch him for the hour so i could get out. he was really cranky so i gave him some homeopathic drops for teething pain.

he seemed really sleepy so l figured that i could get him to fall back to sleep in his carriage. he nearly did until he saw his aunt. he was all smiles with her and wanted to run around. his aunt is pregnant for the first time after nearly five years of being married. that's just what i've prayed for. a new baby in that family.
it will definately take the spotlight off sahar.

despite my month's long abscence from yoga, i was, surprisingly, not all that stiff. i had wanted to return to aroebics, too, this evening, but gal didn't arrive home until after 8:30 p.m. that's a lot of hours with sahar! he is teething and not all that interested in eating. throughout the day, i gave him a bit of everything that i had in the house. in the 13 hours that i had him, he managed to eat a stawberry flavored yogurt, a bit of an omellette, a bit of tuna fish, a few spoons full of cottage cheese, half a banana, one date and a hand full of bambas. he drank half a bottle with milk. that was his entire food consumption for the entire day.

i picked him up at around 10:20 a.m. from the aunt's and he fell asleep soon afterwards. i think that he may have eaten some cornflakes and milk there. i kept him outside in the fresh air. i read a bunch of psalms until he woke up at about 1:00p.m. he was still crabby so i gave him more drops. i decided to give him a nice warm bath because he still reeked of pish. i got him into the tub but he didn't want to sit down. he didn't want a bath. i quickly got him cleaned and out of the bath in record time.

i took him downstairs where it was very sunny, and let him walk around in the grass. when i no longer could stand chasing after him, i went inside and put 'baby luli' on again. i cordoned off the t.v area by placing the couches together so he couldn't get away. he was happy watching t.v, patting the dog, and walking with his miniature stroller. he did try to break through a few times, but for the most part, he was okay.

i ate almost the entire can of tuna that sahar rejected. i also ate an entire container of cottage cheese, most of the omelette that i prepared for sahar, 4 dates, the remaining half of banana that sahar left, and a bunch of walnuts and sunflower seeds. i also drank many cups of coffee. cloey the dog, climbed onto the table and ate sahar's portion of omelette and most of his bambas. cookie the dog, ate almost an entire challah roll from shabbat. nobody starved.

i took sahar to the local grocery store and he started to scream really loud from his carriage. i gave him a chocolate wafer cookie and a moment later, his face and hands were covered in chocolate. i was in shock. thank goodness there were handy wipes in the carriage. he then screamed because he wanted to hold the banana by himself. just as he was about to squish the entire thing, i took it away from him. boy did he yell after that!

he seemed really tired at around 5:00 p.m. but i was afraid to let him sleep at that hour. he seemed to get his second wind at about 6:00 p.m. and by 7:00 p.m. he was hyper active. at 8:00 p.m. he forgot that he had a mother. gal came home with zvi and her parents. i brought sahar downstairs to see his grandparents. he didn't have patience to stay with his grandfather and he wanted out of his grandmother's arms to return to me. he even hit the grandmother. i saved the day by admitting to her that he had also hit me today. i simply, returned him to her arms and walked away.

sahar finally got nursed and fell asleep after 9:00 p.m. gal's mom asked me to walk with her to her daughter's house on the next block, while her husband put up the curtains for gal. when they all left at around 11:30 p.m. i stayed with sahar for a little while. he woke up and couldn't be conforted. i managed to feed him some cornflakes and milk that gal had left on the table. when gal came home he didn't want to leave my arms. once again, i placed him into his mother's arms and walked away.

how lucky is that? i get to do it all over again tomorrow. whoopee! i feel like eating a box of chocolate wafers but i'll abstain.

Thursday Morning

it's 10:30 a.m. in the holy city of zefat and i am on my blog. there is absolutely, nothing to watch on cable. i got up at 8:00 and had a coffee and some walnuts. i don't have to watch sahar this morning because his 17 year old aunt wants him with her. i am trying to see only the good in every situation that comes my way, now. i am trying to be open and positive and non judgemental.

the key word here is trying. last night when i went downstairs to say hello to sahar, he didn't give me the time of day. he was watching 'baby luli' and dancing in his portable crib to the music. he didn't even look my way. there was no love connection there, at all. i did not like the way it felt being, emotionally shut out, by a toddler. a cople of hours later, zvi came upstairs with him and he jumped into my lap and didn't want to leave, as we watched 'uncle moshe' videos on the computer together. i guess, even toddlers, need their down time alone.

thanks to my new remedy, i can still ascertain injustice and get frustrated, but i no longer need to rant and repeat myself. last night i spoke with the owner of the yorkshire terriers, and she shared a horror story about the previous day's veterinary treatment. i was definately, outraged at the over medicating and vaccinating of these poor little dogs and expressed myself. however, the story ended there. i didn't pick up the phone to call another friend to repeat the tale. i also, didn't rush to the blog to rant about this vet.

thinking back, that may not have been a good thing, considering my blog pseudo name is 'ranting zelda'. you'll just have to forgive my not ranting this time about pet doctors. while i was at the senior's center on tuesday, my local doctor popped in to give murray from the bronx, his flu shot. before i could shout out "run murray, run!" it was over. the doctor asked me what i was doing there and i think he asked me how my mom was. i panicked for just a moment. he then reminded me that it was time to get my flu shot. it was pretty ironic, considering the fact, that i had actively waged a campaign for ten years against having my parents vaccinated.

a few years ago, the nurse came and entered the house without knocking. she headed straight for my mother's room with a hypodermal needle in hand. luckily, i was still home and interceded. i had already refused on 5 other occassions that winter, to have my 91 year old mother given a flu shot. the nurse left in a huff and refused to check her blood. mom was on a blood thinning medication which needed to be tested every two weeks. i refused to bring her to the health clinic during flu season. i simply, demanded home blood testing, instead. on a previous clinic visit the nurse's little daughter, who was obviously sick and out of school that day, suddenly hugged her mom while she was trying to draw blood out of mom's problematic veins, and the needle went flying out of her hand. i believe that it was our last visit to the clinic.

on another occassion, both the nurse and doctor refused to come and check mom's blood after i refused to allow her to be shot up with cortisone for her gout. they stayed away for about a month until they showed up again. i quess they had nothing better to do that day. i have never been one to run to doctors. i have a basic distrust of the medical profession. i have relied primarily, on holistic healers and homeopths for the last ten years.

i finally did the dishes last night. it's less hot today and i must do the floors later. i should start getting the 'guest dogs' room set up. it looks like i'll be boarding the four little terriers in a couple of weeks from now. it's a huge responsibility. these pups are like this couples' kids. i sleep with my dogs and share meals with them, but the kids always come first. these are my pets. they offer a lot of affection and undying loyalty. they love me unconditionally. none the less, i await the day to be pet free. i don't think that i will take in any more dogs in the future except for pay.

Make A Move

it's wednesday afternoon in the holy city of zefat. it's already 1:30 p.m. and i haven't made a move yet except for preparing food. i've had fried eggs and canned beans, walnuts and tahina, and a couple of coffees. i have been eating only foods that are on the south beach diet. my bulging stomach is slowly shrinking.

i've just had the most lovely phone conversation with my niece in dehli,india. there are over 100 israeli families there. apparently, they live on the good side of town near the american embassy. they usually have around 15 guests for shabbat meals. they are catering mostly to families. the israeli backpackers seem to go to the other chabad house on the bad side of town for meals.

my niece is planning to open a preschool in her apartment. she will be getting the help of two israeli girls soon because she is due to give birth in another few weeks. i miss her so much. it really feels good to have my feelings validated. her little 18 month old mendush is playing with his 5 year old uncle mendush. there are another 5 mendushes in that same family. chabadnikim customarily name their first son, menachem mendel.

i still have dishes to do from last shabbat and i need to wash the floors and put away my laundry. we are having a heat wave this week and i don't feel like making a move. there is nothing on the television that i haven't already seen this week. cable t.v. here leaves a lot to be desired. i also need to call the owners of the dogs that i'm suppossed to be boarding next month.

i wish that i was the roaving aunt who travels from one country to another to visit her family and check out the scenery. i have never travelled in my life. i've been to california twice, and then i came to israel. i haven't even travelled here in israel. i haven't left zefat in two years except to go to one wedding. i have a friend who is 76 and can't wait to go back to india. she went there a few years ago to help out for pesach.

last night my son zvi asked for my help in writing an ad for goat icecream in english. i wanted some so bad. i haven't been eating dairy lately, except for the many containers of icecream that i wolfed down. i've been sticking to eggs, canned tuna, and veggies. i'd actually enjoy a bit of cottage cheese right now, but i can't make a move to get dressed and go down to the grocery. i could raid the kid's fridge but zvi gets hysterical because i tend to finish all their cookies and icecream in one sitting.

i have been relieved of babysitting detail this week. gal's teenage sisters are home from school and want sahar. i keep offering my help but they want the kid there. i haven't seen him in two days. i should feel free and take the time to clean up this pig stye but as i've said already, i can't make a move.

peaceful bliss

it's 9:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. all is peaceful. i am actually feeling calm. i have been so uptight lately, with the kid's move and trying to reorganize my space. i have been trying very hard to rid myself of many of my mom's nick nacks, and i have been dealing with probating my parent's will and of course, the fallout from the will.

it isn't a very pleasant situation, to say the least. i found myself, once again, ranting to whomever would listen. i embellished my stories and dramatized them to the point of tears. i went through the past 30 years of my living in zefat and dealing with my sibling here.

i was getting pretty weirded out. i was also getting bombarded with warnings from my friends and other siblings to protect what is mine. i was seeking out validation from anyone who would lend an ear. i was doubting my right to exist. i was stuffing my face with containers of icecream and packages of cake. i was living in my night gown.

i finally broke down and went to see my homeopath. i also went to visit my daughter in law's mother. we kind of caught up and tried to 'one up' each other on our grandchild raising skills. i was told that my giving him pieces of cucumber was dangerous. i was also told that putting molasses in his milk was questionable.

she told me that the baby was totally comfortable there with all of the kids to play with and i immediately began feeling inadequate. sahar has only the dog to play with here. she also insinuated that perhaps my speaking to him in english was not beneficial. i, of course, tried to confer that experts have said that one should speak to a child in his original language. i left however, feeling that i was too boring and not stimulating enough for my 13 month old grandson and that somehow, i was impeding his speech progress.

i rehashed the inheritance dilema with the homeopath, and she agreed that i was most deserving of the bulk of the will. i felt that she was trying not only to validate my feelings, but to also, present a case scenario for me. she gave me a couple of drops of her magic potion and i immediately, became quiet and calm. it was so great.

now when i 'discuss' certain issues, i am unemotional. i do not rant. i did, feel a bit queasy at the lawyer's office this morning but i managed to deal with it. i then went over to the seniors' center and everyone seemed to be in a bad mood. no one felt like talking to me and no one seemed to care that i had come to visit, either.

i ran to the hardware store to make another key for gal. she lost hers after just a couple of days. as i was leaving to go to town yesterday, i decided not to leave my key outside in the planter. i figured that i'd be home before gal got back from work. that little voice in the back of my head said to leave the key. i had gotten accustomed to listening to the voice but i didn't yesterday.

gal got back early, and climbed in from the front window and fell and hurt her leg. i got back a little while after. listen to that inner voice! it's an angel taking care of us, always.

Moving On Down

it's 3:00 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. anyone wondering what i'm doing up at this unholy hour of the night?. the kids moved into the downstairs apartment this evening. i took care of sahar for a couple of hours in the early morning and then brought him over to his aunt, who lives on the next block.

i had my grandson with me all week long for about 12-14 hours each day. his parents were busy working long hours and taking evening courses. i never got out of the house except to take him for short walks in the neighborhood. i started preparing gourmet meals for him. siver dollar pancakes for breakfast, sweet potato latkes for lunch and cheese omelettes for dinner. he had milk flavored with molasses and he discovered multi grain cherios.

yesterday, he stared right at me and with his most stern voice said, "no, no"! i guess he heard me say that a few dozen times lately. he likes to disconnect the phone cord and he tries very hard to pull out the cable card. he's a handful! it's been too hot to take long walks, not that i have the pep to do so. i haven't been to exercize in 3 weeks. i did manage to lose a few pounds by staying away from simple carbs. of course,not binging helps.

i got to volunteer this morning at the seniors' day center but most of the group was missing. the rav came by to give a torah class but he couldn't play any music on the electric organ. the transformer was shot. i went running around the center to find another one but the handyman was off today and no one else knew what a transformer is.

i left the center a bit early, because i promised to pick up sahar from his aunt's at 1:00 p.m. i waited in the hot sun for a while until the bus came and then i waited outside her house until i realized that no one was home. i had high hopes of cleaning up my bedroom and doing laundry today but i suddenly felt ill. i must have been border line dehydrated. i suddenly had an intense pain in my bad eye and i felt like my head was spinning out of control.

i think that i passed out on the sofa. soon enough, there was a house full of people scurrying about carrying objects and furniture down the stairs. they had to remove my door to pass through my apartment, too. for hours, i had to listen to the commotion. i was getting quite agitated, too. i was afraid that zvi and/or his brother -in -law might hurt themselves moving the fridge down two flights of stairs.

i simply, did not understand this rush to finish moving in by shabbat. it's not like they had a specific date to vacate the upstairs apartment. that put a huge strain on me, once again, to move around the extra pictures and pieces of furniture on my floor. the house is trashed and i was just told that they will be staying in for shabbat. i really, do not feel like making shabbat dinner tomorrow. i've had a long and hard week.

zvi's brother- in- law left well after midnight and hastily, put back the door. well folks, it no longer closes. zvi tried to fix it a few times but finally gave up. i now have to find a repairman tomorrow and pay him to reattach my door. i am not a happy camper. and i am too wired to fall asleep. the kids were still mucking about downstairs until a little while ago. they have to go to work tomorrow.

there is still a lot of stuff left to be schlepped upstairs. dressers, closets, beds, mini fridge, table and chairs. i'm hoping to use the upstairs as a short term rental. i really hate all of this hoopla. i have made one move in my entire life. and that nearly did me in. there is also a bunch of old furniture outside to be carted off and trashed. don't even get me started about stuffing the huge downstairs fridge into the shed.
at least, i get to sleep in tomorrow because sahar is going to his other grandmother in the morning. i think he will need a little time to get used to the new surroundings. i've only taken him downstairs once or twice when i did the laundry. that reminds me, we still have to bring down gal's wasing machine.

i am really looking forward to my privacy once again. i am hoping that they stay downstairs and not bother me as much. spoken like a true 60 year old single lady.

Chodesh Tov

tonight we begin a new jewish month. chodesh tov! it's 9:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. the kids just got back from their very busy working schedules. the baby fell asleep in my arms about an hour before they came home. he tried to nurse from me before he passed out. he bit my chest.

zavi woke me up at 4:30 a.m. this morning. he wanted his freshly laundered jeans. i actually, got up and went downstairs to retrieve it from the dryer. i did a couple of batches of laundry last night and totally forgot about them. i threw one batch in the dryer and i must have passed out soon afterwards. i left the sheets and towels in the washing machine all night long so i had to rewash everything because it smelled dank. i also left all of my wash hanging on the lines. when i went to bring it in, it was already damp from the evening mist. i finally took it back inside while sahar was napping.

while sahar slept, i also did all of his clothes by hand in a large bucket. that's the only way i can get the food stains out. gal is a bit obsessive about dirt and stains on the baby's clothing. i don't have a hot water cycle in my maytag washing machine. we had three plumbers in to fix it and yet, no one was successful. one plumber even tore up my kitchen floor and of course, he couldn't replace it with matching tiles.

i was a bit of a short order cook today for sahar. i made him a plain omelette for breakfast and threw in some peas and canned black beans on the side. he got a glass of milk with molasses afterwards. i made whole wheat pasta for lunch and added a bit of ketchup for flavor. i was all out of tomato paste. i cut up small pieces of cucumber, which he wolfed down. he had boiled potatoes and carrots for supper and two strawberry yogurts for dessert. he also had some bambas. i say 'some' because cloey the dog, ate most of them. he mostly, fed himself and threw tons of food on the floor for cloey, the dog.

i was too tired to do anything really special with him today, so we stayed holed up together in the t.v. area. he got to watch his baby shows and play with his toys, while i drank coffee and stuffed my face. i even let him rip up a few paper back novels just for fun. remember 'billy jack'? i did take himout for a short walk on his bicycle to check the mail. it was really cold in the house but way too hot to spend any time outside. he had a nice bath and cried when i took him out. i really wanted him to take a second nap but it just never happened.

i have to go to the dentist very early in the morning. i still have no idea of what i am going to do regarding tooth implants vs. prosthetic. i don't want to get my teeth pulled either. i am just going to play it by ear.

Keeping Busy

it's 5:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i've been busy today. i threw in a batch of laundry at 7:30 a.m. before sahar came down to me. at 8:00 a.m. i made him breakfast. i gave him a cheese omelette broken into little pieces and some grapes, depitted and skinned. i also gave him some frozen peas. he absolutely loves them. he also loves tomatoes and cucumbers.

he is feeding himself these days. no more mashed veggies or bottles for sahar. i placed some aluminum foil on his high chair table for kashrut reasons and he was very attracted to it. he really enjoys eating off of the shiny surface. after he finished his meal, i called the refrigerater repair service. apparently, my contract was still intact but the company has gone under. it was explained to me by a rather impatient party, that it went to court. the new company was servicing the old customers for a fee.

i absolutely refused to pay another penny. afterall, i still had a month left on my contract. i actually hung up with the woman on the line before i started to yell. i did say something to the effect, in hebrew, that this was all a lot of nonsense. i called a local yocal to come and fix it instead. it ended up costing me $110. not cheap at all. perhaps it would have been better to call in the company repairman. who knows?

i went downstairs with sahar to hang up the laundry. i dragged his bicycle down the stairs so that he could be strapped in and riding while i did the laundry. he was pretty good for a while until he got testy. he was tired so i put him into his stroller and went to the end of the street. he was fast asleep by the time we got back to the house.

while he slept, i disassembled the sukkah. i taped all of the bars together. hopefully, when zvi returns home from work, he'll schlepp it downstairs to the outside storeroom under the house. it is already beginning to get cold. it is pretty windy now.

gal came home early from work and took sahar upstairs. i hadn't bathed him yet nor changed his pajamas. he was covered in coriander from the fish and potaoes he had for lunch. i was really afraid that gal might freak out when she saw him. she bathed him while the repairman did his thing. he replaced the anti-frost mechanism in the fridge which had aparently, frozen to death. go know!

while i threw in the first batch of laundry, i discovered a very small rat dead in the trap. i disposed of it in a baggie and threw it outside in the garbage. i didn't want to take a chance that either dog could find it and bring it into the house. while sahar slept, i sprayed the dogs with a very strong flea and tick spray. when sahar woke up i took him and the two dogs into the bathroom and proceded to give the dogs a bath. i didn't want the dangerous poison to remain on their skin with a baby in the house.

i would have loved to bathe sahar right afterwards, but i was waiting for the repairman to come. instead, we hung out in the front yard until gal came home.

sahar went to his grandparents this evening while his mom went to her accounting course. i missed the pilates class by 15 minutes. and i just might miss my aroebics class tomorrow night. yes, they have settled the management strife.

Going Down For The Count

it's 9:00 p.m. on a monday evening, in the holy city of zefat. i spent the day visiting with a potential 'client'. the lady has four little female yorkshire terriers that i may board for two weeks, while she visits the states. i can earn enough money to pay my electric bill next month.

in the meantime, my refrigerator seems to have expired. i just brought down all the food to my old fridge on the bottom floor. the dogs are inundated with fleas and ticks and the ants are back. i am at my wits end deciding if i should go for implants and dental surgery or a partial plate.

i went to the senior citizens' dementia group this morning to visit. there were only a handful of the regulars there. i felt like going back home but i stuck it out. in the end, it was good that i was there. when the rabbi came in to give his talk and play some music, there was a large crowd floating in and i was most needed to help seat everyone.

i am covered in flea bites. what is that old saying? when you lie with dogs you wake up with fleas, or something to that effect. i am getting overwhelmed. i've gained nearly 10 pounds. perhaps now that all the food is downstairs, it will curtail my binge eating.

i have one month left on my refrigerator service contract, i think. of course, i couldn't reach the service today. would you believe that they don't take calls after 4:00 p.m.? i tried reaching the internet provider, too. i requested that they send me a form to pay through my bank account, last month. they sent it to my old address and promised to send me another form before the holiday. i'm sure that my payment this month will not go through because i got a new credit card.

what else is going to go wrong?? i am beginning to get depressed. we are still having a heat wave and i am feeling uncomfortably, hot. i can't seem to generate any money from the house and finding any work isn't a reality. maybe dogsitting will pan out. who knows?

i babysat for sahar yesterday for 12 hours. i caught a ride to my exercise class at night but when i got there it was a no show. there seems to be a management problem. i don't know if they will continue to host the class in that center. i also ran into the palates instructor who was trying to get me to come back. i wish i had the will to work out.

i need to babysit again for sahar tomorrow morning. i'll have him with me for 12-13 hours. that means that i will not be able to do any laundry. he's afraid of the machine. i hope that i'll be able to reach the repairman. i won't hold my breath. they don't even have an answering machine.

is there anything else that i haven't complained about? why is life getting so hard?

oh yes, by the way, my son zvi has hemorrhoids. he came home yesterday a bit forlorn. he found blood in his stool and of course he was scared. he spent the day working on the harvest at the winery. he was so proud of himself. i totally forgot about his problem with all these nudgey problems that i've been facing. he went to the doctor and had it checked out without his mommy. he's really growing up. thank goodness it wasn't serious.