Blue Blue My World Is Blue

it is 11:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  about 12 hours ago i was informed that my baby sister had died this morning.  she was 65 years old.  we hadn't been speaking for a while.  i think it was now two years or more since we communicated.  i always thought that one day we might reach the point that we could greet each other in the street with a smile.  we live in this little mystical town in the north and yet we never seem to run into each other.  my heart is broken.  i stood by her makeshift grave and i begged her to forgive me.  i told her that i never wanted to have to meet  her at her own grave.  she was side by side me when i was sick.  i was happy that i had her full attention.  i am pained that she chose not to let me know how sick she was.  i was devastated that i didn't get the chance to tell her goodbye and let her know that i never stopped loving her.  sorry seems to be the hardest word.