Never Can Say Goodbye

it is 8:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  i finally passed out at around 4:00 a.m. this morning.  the dogs nudged me at their usual time but i couldn't budge.  i finally took them out at 6:45 a.m.  i didn't see any creatures this morning.  the large fox, the little jackal and the massive rock hyrax were no where in sight.  i guess they had retreated into the valley at the end of my street.  i have spent the better part of the month; dealing with the cable company.  i was trying to get a cheaper rate and a senior citizen's rebate.  i had no luck and tried to cancel my account.  that's when the real fun began.  in the end they offered me a really good deal and even offered me a giant rebate.  i refused to deal with them a moment longer.

i finally cancelled the service and the monthly payment with the bank.  i have not received any notice as to when they will come to retrieve their boxes.  another company told me that this cable group, simply doesn't care.  they helped me file an official document; cutting off my relationship with the previous group.  i am waiting for a lawsuit but it would probably take some time, i'm guessing.  i ended up not going with the second company.  it was more than i was prepared to pay and it involved their installing a satellite dish on my roof.  my having stopped working at the yeshiva; has taken it's financial toll on me.

we are in the midst of another, bloody heatwave.  it is very humid, too.  i ran around in it for a couple of days but i hardly left the house yesterday.  i only took the dogs out twice.  they are too hot to go out, too.  my house is like a suana.  the fans are not really helping all that much.  i'd be a goner without them.  i'm simply,not drinking enough water.  this is not a new problem.  i don't seem to keep myself  properly hydrated in the summer.  i will try to eat some watermelon, soon.

i haven't watched any television since the service was terminated on friday.  i felt liberated.  i had been enslaved by the lure of binge watching  programming.  i did download a movie on you tube yesterday.  i also opened up a Facebook account.  i really don't like it.  i feel that my privacy has been invaded.  people are coming out of the woodwork to befriend me.  it is not my cup of tea.  i feel like a voyeur looking into my family's windows to catch a peak at their kids.  it doesn't bring me closer to anyone. it makes me feel more isolated from everyone.  i guess i'm unique in this respect.

i signed with another cable company which offered me a more modest plan.  i'm hoping that the VOD content, alone; will suffice.  i think everyone offers HBO these days.  i realized that i don't really like HBO that much.  so much of it is politically correct dribble.  i'm more of an action fan.  i will miss my 'blueblood' and SVU shows.  what can i do?  i can't afford to keep all the channels.  i live alone, and do not watch sports and children's programming.  i don't think i will miss the reality channel.  i have definitely, stopped keeping up with the kardashians.

i have been sleeping in a bedroom lately.  i switch from room to room nightly; depending on how cool the room is.  i have tried to download free streaming television with no success.  i have been posting a lot of charles aznavour music videos on my timeline.  they are all very schmaltzy and dramatic.  i am in a rather tragic mode.  one of my siblings is in a terminal medical state.  i have been getting urgent text messages for over a month now.  yesterday, i truly thought the end was here.

i completely fell apart.  i cried so loud and hard that i started hyperventilating.  i thought that i might pass out.  i called a friend but i couldn't really speak.  i needed to figure out how to call a niece but i wasn't really in any shape to speak to anyone.  i waited for several, excruciating hours; just to know if my sibling was still among the living.  as of now, i was told that they had stabilized her.  it doesn't really tell me much.  and neither does her family.  i am pretty much out of the loop.

 on sunday, i lightly sprained my ankle while out with the dogs.  i limped back to my house and broke my nightly fast.  i rubbed my trusty arnica oil on my foot and had a cup of chai tea.  i had to go to the bank because there was a computer glitch with the monthly payments for the cellphone company.  i took a bus and then walked into town.  it was only about a fifteen minute walk, downhill.  i  bought some things for the grand kids.  they might be coming during the summer break.  i stopped into a few stores.  i didn't get back until after 3:00 p.m.  my foot suddenly started hurting very badly and i couldn't put much weight on it.  i limped over to where i could flag down a taxi.  i spent several hours in bed enduring excruciating pain.

my foot is already healed.  my heart, is another matter.  it is broken.  i haven't spoken to my sibling in a couple of years.  i had thought that we might reach some sort of reconciliation before she passed.  alas, i don't think it is meant to be.  oh how i long for yesterday!   to be continued...............