Mad At The World

it is 10:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  i am mad today.  yesterday, my lovely young neighbor came by to help me put what's app on my new smart phone.  she couldn't use the simm card from the little cell phone but managed to activate my phone, nonetheless.  poor thing; she stood outside in the cold  under my dining room window while she tried to instruct me on the use of the phone. it started raining, to boot.  it was dark and i didn't have my reading glasses.  she entered my son's name and phone number so i was able to call him.  i called him for a moment to tell him that i had what's app.  i had already spoken to him so i had nothing to add.  i tried to add my grandson's number as a contact and i didn't succeed.  it made me crazy.  i do not know how to turn off the phone.  i read the manual and i still do not know how to do this simple task.  it makes me angry and it makes me nervous.

i am sorry that i bought the phone.  this is simply, not a good time to sit next to someone and get instructions on how to use a smart phone.  this makes me anxious and more mad.  i had to stop myself from throwing this brand new phone on the floor and stomping on it.  i am not one who can follow written instructions.  i need to be shown things to get it.  i wish i was like most normal people who  navigate the world by smart phone.  i am simply, not one of these people.  perhaps, after this pandemic subsides and the world, as we once knew it, resumes; i will try and learn how to use this phone.  i think i will have to put it away with the chometz so i don't have to think about it or see it.

i had to hang up on my friend because she accused me of being the voice of doom.  i merely stated the fact that it was forbidden to have guests in your home right now.  i also told her that she needn't schlepp to the chabad house to sell her chometz.  we have been instructed by the rabbinical authorities to do it online.  we have also been instructed to stay put.  i do take the dogs out every day but i am not visiting my friends right now.  my friend was going on and on about how Israel is considered the top country in keeping the virus in tow and yet she wasn't adhering to the latest rules.  i was exasperated listening to her sheer nonsense.  i also was frustrated because i don't know how to use the damn smart phone.

my friend had actually called me to thank me for the care package i had sent over. my next store neighbor goes to visit his elderly mother everyday; who happens to live next store to my friend.  my friend had mentioned that she was craving those chocolate coated matzahs.  her local store didn't carry them.  i saw them in my local supermarket and bought two small boxes.  she is the one who helped me get the pesach dog chow.  i also sent over a bottle of palm oil for frying, a tube of colgate toothpaste and toothbrush for pesach, some oranges and lemons from my tree, a box of tea and a saul bellows good novel to read.

i usually seem very calm.  my friend in new York does scare the heck out of me on a daily basis, but i do seem relatively calm to the outside world.  this friend in safed, annoyed the heck out of me.  she was out and about everyday during the last war but this pandemic is way different.  you can give it to someone as well as catch it.  she told me that her friend was coming over to visit and have lunch with her.  he was bringing his dogs, too.  i only hope that the police stop him in the street.  he lives way over in the old city.  he has no business trekking over to my friend's house.  he is a person of extreme risk for this virus.  he is diabetic and has a heart problem.  he is also clueless about simple medical common sense.  this is a disaster waiting to happen or maybe, i am just overreacting.  anyhow, i told her that i was hanging up and not wasting another precious moment of my strength talking with her.

i am very tired today.  the phone situation really stressed me out.  the news also predicts a large increase in rona patients in Israel by pesach, next week.  i am getting scared now.  i stopped visiting my friends on the next street because we were too close for comfort.  we were still sharing food and our saliva with one another.  we were just too cozy with each other.  we are like family.  however, we are all at risk. we are all elderly, although quite active.  my friends are taking their zinc, vitamin c, and immune boosting tablets, religiously.  i am eating plenty of nuts and oats and citrus fruits and chicken.  i feel like crap.  let's just see who will make it to the finish line.