Agitated In Safed

it is 9:30 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  it has cooled down considerably. i just put on my fleece tights and i am still a bit cold.  i have a sore throat and a dry cough.  i am currently on antibiotics for an infected gum.  if it isn't the rona, then the drugs should knock this out.  i am agitated.  i am fearful that the country going back to normal; will take us' old folks' out.  i panic whenever i see little kids on the street.

i live a few doors down from a kindergarten and a preschool.  there will be loads of people milling around.  young people don't wear masks.  young people don't die from the rona.  i will stick to my other route to walk the dogs.  i saw my neighbor yesterday with her family and grandkids, who had come up from the south to visit.  no one was wearing masks.  they had them hanging around their necks but no one was wearing them on their face.  it made me agitated.

my neighbor's husband has threatened to kill my dog on several occasions.  the last time was when these same children were here for a holiday.  he claimed that my dog had bitten one of his grandchildren.  to my knowledge; that would have been the first time that my dog bit someone.  the neighbor was raging on as if his grandchild had been mauled by a Rottweiler. 

the way my neighbor felt about my dog is how i felt when i saw his adult children and grandkids in front of my house without face masks.  i wanted to kill them.  i am trying to be a good person.  i work hard on my character flaws.  this rona has made a raving nut.  i am agitated all the time.

i ran outside as soon as Shabbat ended to ask my neighbor to help me open a video on my smart phone.  it was freezing.  i saw my little four month old grandson cooing and evening mouthing words.  i could swear i heard him say the Hebrew word for dad, abba.  it gave me a lot of joy.  i miss my grandchildren but i am afraid of them coming here and giving me the virus.  in the past when i took care of them; i got the flu for three years in a row and stayed sick for months. since they moved to Jerusalem; i have been flu free for two years.

i guess i give grandmas a bad name.  i assume that in a little while; the majority of the population  will have acquired the virus and hopefully, the antibodies.  i know that there is no insurance against getting re-infected at this time.  i never take vaccines for flu or pneumonia.  i doubt that i would take one for covid 19.  my friend said that this is a conspiracy to wipe out the old population because we are a drain on society.  it seems that my friends and i have been getting negative vibes from people; when they see us out and about in the street.

  i took care of my family for years.  i worked for years at the yeshiva and i took care of the grandkids for years.  now suddenly, i am a drain on the economy?  now i get to be a shut in while the young people go back to normal life without masks.  that gets me agitated.