Wednesday, December 26, 2012

It's On

it is 6:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat.  i called the radiology department at the hospital today to inquire about a date for the treatment.      they told me that no date had been given and that it was usually a 2-3 week wait after the simulation process.  about  half an hour later, someone called  my sister to say that  the chemotherapy  treatment would begin on monday.   was that a coincidence or what?????

i had just told my sister that i didn't mind a week off but she wanted my treatment to start immediately.  i managed to catch up on all the laundry yesterday.  i put away a couple of chanukiahs and washed the dairy dishes this morning.  i  had a rendezvous with a potential suitor at 11:00 a.m.  we drank hot chocolate and talked.  we ordered a sundae glass of whipped cream but hardly touched it. unfortunately, we talked so long,  that i missed getting to the health care office.  all in all, i think is was worth it.

i bought a cheap new cellphone because the ringer on the old one was broken.  that explains all the missed calls, i had all summer long.  i filled up the card so i will have plenty of conversations, while i'm away.  i managed to bring in the denim skirt for repair, so i will have a confortable skirt for tel aviv.  i bought an adorable alarm clock for only 8 shekels in a junk store.   i also bought a bottle of  good vodka and a few bags of cookies and nash for the yeshiva guys.  i went to bid them a farewell.  i gave out brachas and had a little vodka on an empty stomach.  that's the best way to drink vodka.  they didn't replace me.  they are giving the guys catered food packages.  it broke my heart.

by 3:00 p.m. i was tired.  i couldn't hang out anymore.  i needed to get home.  i stopped off to buy a turkey meat sandwich.  i was ravenous.  i couldn't wait to eat it.  i schlepped my tired body to the super to buy dog food.  i returned home to be attacked by my two very hungry dogs.  the three of us ate the shwarma together.  i had most of it.  i was still hungry after the sandwich.  i ate about 3 tangerines from the tree.  i have an abundance of citrus fruits this year.  i wish i had the strength to cut a lot of fruit to send to the yeshiva.  i just don't.  who knows? maybe tomorrow.

i still need to go to the health food store.  i want to buy non metal shampoo, toothepaste, soap and deoderant.  i need to stop by the health care clinic to get more forms and then buy more meds.  i saw the gardener this morning and paid him for the next two months.  i want to leave zefat with a clean account.  when i got to the super they greeted me with a bounced check.  i was just at the bank this week trying to clear up everything before i left.  they didn't mention a word about the check.  i wonder how many more they bounced.  the gardener. told me about a new cancer therapy where the person is put into starvation mode for 60 days.  after a while the body starts eating it's own cells, and preferably the mutated cancerous ones.

i wished him luck but i could never do anything like that.  i enjoy eating too much at this point.  i may not be feeling like that in a short while.  we shall wait and see.  i think my sister spoke with the nurse and let her know that we finally got a starting date.  she insisted that i call the social worker so that she could process the paperwork for the hostel.  i didn't fall into that trap.  the social worker told me, natter of factly, yesterday that it was not her job.  i refuse, from now on, to have any expectations of things happening as according to plan or schedule..  i won't waste any more of my precious energy worrying about the bureacracy any more.

"i don't care anymore what they say cause its my life" is my new montra.  i've decided to  visualize my tumor shrinking during radiation.  i've decided that ' i will survive' is my other montra.  zelda is in the house.  zelda is back.  long live zelda!!!!  zelda will journal and blog and participate, and be a light to less fortunates.  zelda will do okay.

zelda asks everyone to pray for her recovery or do an act of kindness every day for someone.

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