Are You Kidding?

it is 10:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed and it is miserably cold and pouring.  I cleaned out one pantry shelf.  my arm hurts.  I am thinking about going to the supermarket in my neighborhood to buy pesach dog food and disposable dishes.  I can't deal with my kitchen and dining area.  everything is on the counters and tables.  it is too cold to work in the house.  what is going on?  I am pretty tired despite how much I sleep.  I keep the heater on next to my bed.  I have to get to the yeshiva by noon.  yesterday I was hoping that I would not have to go in.  I was on my way in at !:00 p.m. when I got the call to serve lunch an half an hour earlier.  some of the guys were travelling to another town for a ceremony.

I served the most awful meal imaginable.  the pasta was barely cooked and I threw two cans of tomato paste into the pot of boiled water.  of course I threw in some spices.  I tried to make it up at dinner time.  I fried up tiny meatball patties and made sweet potatoes and carrot kugel.  I also served the remainder of the canned corn and pasta from lunch.  I was really too tired to go shopping at the supermarket but I did so anyway.  it was pretty empty.  I did wait in the cold and rain for over an hour to get a free taxi ride home.  I spent over $300 and that didn't include eggs or fruits and veggies.  the holidays here are killers.

 I cancelled my eye test for next week.  I just cannot waste any more precious time to clean for pesach.  if my arm doesn't get any better I do not know how I will manage.  it is quite foggy now.  I am seriously thinking about hitting the store soon.  I am truly not loving my life right now.  I emailed my sister to ask if she wanted her pesach dishes which have been in my living room hutch for the past 10 years.  I had to ask my gardener for help in retrieving them.  he is such a great guy.

Pesach Is Just A shout Away

it is 11:0 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  I went to the large supermarket after work.  we have been having monsoon like rain storms.  it is pretty cold too.  I didn't think I would make it to work today.  it was one heck of a storm.  I managed to wipe down my freezer compartment and clean the fridge.  I have a pretty new fridge so it is super easy taking it apart and cleaning it.  I spent a true fortune this evening.  I bought every type of cleaning agent on the market.  I am not going to engage in spring cleaning this year.

I have been suffering with pain in my left arm and shoulder.  I finally went to the doctor on Thursday and took an EKG just to make sure I wasn't having a heart attack.  the pain is unbearable at times.  I rubbed ben gay on it but it didn't help.  I am afraid that it is neurological rather than arthritis.  I think it might be the brain tumor.  I have an appointment to see the neurologist in june.  today, I was losing function in my left hand.  the doctor said that as soon as the weather gets better i'll feel better.  I am a bit concerned.

I started throwing out chactchkas and things again. I tossed out picture frames and vases and I need to downsize more.  I do not think I can do the windows this year. I won't be plastering or spot painting, either.  I am just going to get the kitchen in order and wash all the floors and call it quits.  I am not able to truly exert myself.  I have to finish the week out and then I'm on break for pesach.  next week I have to travel to tel aviv to do a pet scan.  it is going to tire me out, for sure.

I  still need to buy heavy aluminum foil to cover my kitchen counters and pesach dog food.  I need to get the nuts and fruits and veggies.  I did buy a box of round handmade matzah.  I am only having guests for the seder which is on Shabbat.  the rest of the week I will be here alone.  I have grape juice and wine and some cola left over from purim.  I need to buy bottled water and some club soda.  the lists never ends.  we need some serious sunshine so we can get caught up on laundry.  my dryer is dismantled. 

I don't have enough power in my left arm to strip the bed and couch covers.  it will be a kosher pesach but not a shiny one, I'm afraid.

Aftermath 2019

it is 1:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  the kids left hours ago to find some purim activities.  I have been slowly straightening up the house, which got royally trashed yesterday.  I swept up all the caps from the courtyard.  they have these little exploding plastic objects that the kids love to throw onto the ground.  in my day, we called them cracker balls.  I never got thoroughly drunk yesterday because I was too busy serving food and making hot drinks.  I did keep losing sight of my drinks.  I kept pouring one and then getting up to do something.  I had a small airplane bottle of vodka and many sips of sangria.

 I made too much food and this crowd doesn't truly love my food.  I made the mistake of cooking while I fasted.  I made 4 small shepherd's pies and I think they only ate one.  it was way too greasy, too.  no one wanted the wanton soup and except for one Ashkenazi friend and myself, the kreplach remained untouched.  I threw out the whole package.  it didn't help that that the Sephardi grandma made two platters of chicken and two trays of French fries and rice.  I managed with the help of my friend to fry up a kilo of stuffed triangular shaped pastry puffs filled with potatoes.  and then the gas ran out.

next year I will keep it simple and make meatballs, barbecue chicken wings and potato kugels and teriyaki liver.  I put too many onions and mushrooms into the liver and it didn't turn out right.  I think I am too used to cooking for 30 that I forgot how to cook for a smaller crowd.  I cooked up 4 packages of chicken hotdogs and they got devoured by the little kids.  no one left hungry.  later in the evening, my son got hungry.  I was able to heat up some shepherd's pie and chicken in the toaster.  and I heated up some soup with a few kreplach on an electric burner.

the small watermelon that I bought, was very sweet and yummy.  I ate a lot of it.  the little cellophane bags of candies with the plastic soldiers was a hit.  the youngest brother who is entering the army soon, didn't seem very impressed with my efforts.  my quinoa salad didn't get touched.  I will be eating it all week long and then some time. the Sephardi grandma brought a couple of dozen of her homemade pitas and a chocolate cake.  my hamentashen weren't touched.  my grandson ate a bunch of them this morning.  I didn't touch any chocolate or candy but I did eat 4 broken hamentashen.  they were made with coconut oil, spelt flour and organic light brown sugar.  the filling was store bought cherry pie filling.

around six p.m. the men went to find a megilla reading.  that's when the party started.  the women started singing karaoke and then got dancing.  my granddaughter stole the show.  she is a great dancer.  everyone was having a good time.  the men came back and also got dancing.  I think everyone had a great time this year.  the Sephardi grandma, for sure, was happy that the bulk of the mess was at my house.  the Sephardi grandfather couldn't really stay and enjoy the party because he is in mourning this year for his mother.  the kids had a ball.  the weather was summerlike and they were outside shooting cap guns and cracker balls, pretty innocent stuff.  thank goodness they are too young to have fire crackers.

my grandson was inside most of the time on the computer playing games obsessively.  later that night the two little girl cousins were playing with all of the fake toy food.  one small boy cousin was playing quietly by himself with action figures.  there was something for everyone to do.  it was nice having a large crowd over.  I live alone and it is pretty quiet here. I am happy to use the house for parties and simchas.  I am pretty tired and maybe, just a wee hung over.  I smoked a bit of weed yesterday, too.  I only imbibe on purim. 

the kids took down my two large purim containers of wigs, masks, hats, gloves and props.  and my son pulled out many costumes and then decided he didn't want to dress up.  I put back everything in the closet but as we are getting closer to pesach; I wiped down the shelves and threw out many items that I don't want anymore.  and of course, while I was reorganizing the costumes, I threw out coats and jackets that I don't wear anymore.  I only got to do one side of the closet.  I still have the shelves on the other side to reorganize.  and I have quite a few army uniforms to give away.  my son used to be a quartermaster in the army and I still have new uniforms.

I have to face the sink full of dirty dishes now.  I am dreading the walk home form the Sephardi grandparents later tonight.  anyway.....

It's Purim

it is 10:30 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  I just did the washing up of the baking utensils and bowls.  yes, I made two batches of spelt hamentashen.  the first batch was filled with nutella chocolate and hazelnut spread and the second batch was cherry pie filling.  they were not my most successful hamentashen.  I was a bit obsessed to make them.  I should have waited for tomorrow and gone to the local bakery.  they were made with coconut oil and spelt flour.  they are like cookies.  they somehow resemble triangles but they are in all different shapes.  last year I made dozens of beautiful and uniform shaped hamentashen with date filling.  they were not a big hit.  I think the chocolate spread is going to get their attention.  in the states, I used to make the traditional prune, apricot and poppy seed fillings.  they don't do that here in the middle east.  chocolate is the main favorite.

I had another sleepless night.  I got awaken at 8:30 a.m. by the kids.  they called to let me know that they weren't coming today.  the daughter-in-law was supposed to come with the grandkids last night. hence, my pesach like scrub down on the house.  I got up right after the phone call and started my food for tomorrow.  it was a fast day and I couldn't taste anything.  after the fast ended at 6:15 p.m., I went down the street to hear the megillah at the large Sephardi synagogue.  it was very noisy and I lost the place several times.  towards the end I felt faint.  I kind of fasted yesterday, having been too busy to drink or eat until the evening.

after the megillah there was a catered meal and purim party.  I was planning on going to the party with the grandkids.  the food was incredible.  it was like going to a huge wedding.  I felt guilty that I prepared very simple food for tomorrow's festive meal.  I spent all day in the kitchen.  I made 4 small shepherd's pies with ground beef and two trays of liver teriyaki.  I am afraid that I made too little.  I cooked up a box of kreplach  and added fried onions and garlic.  I made a small amount of wanton soup last night.  I made a quinoa salad with cranberries, grated carrots and green apples and I threw in candied pecans.  I need to fry up some stuffed puff pastries filled with meat and potatoes.  I made a mashed potato kugel for the Sephardi grandpa who is vegetarian.  I poured on way too much paprika.

I will go to the supermarket in the morning and buy a bunch of franks for the little kids.  I was thinking of frying up some chicken schnitzels.  I also thought about making a piece of beef in wine.  I will see how I feel in the morning.  right now I can hardly stand.  this was supposed to be a collaborative meal. perhaps the Sephardi grandma will come up with some food items, too.  I will see if something catches my attention at the store.

Happy Purim

it is midnight in the holy city of safed.  I got home at 9:00 p.m. and went straight to the stove and cooked some chicken soup.  I only had a package of breasts and I added some onions, carrots, celery and cabbage.  I was trying for a wonton like broth.  I added lots of fresh garlic and ginger and bay leaves.  I added a bit of teriyaki sauce and a touch of apple cider vinegar.  I didn't have miren sauce or rice wine.  I am not planning on making wontons.  I bought a package of meat filled kreplach (Jewish ravioli) and I'm hoping someone will want to have a bowl of this soup on purim on Thursday.

I am hosting the family purim seudah again this year.  I got up this morning and washed all of the floors and changed the linen.   the kids were supposed to come this evening.  we finally had a warm and sunny day.  I ran downstairs and washed all of the towels and all of my work clothes and warm pajamas and robes.  they are all hanging outside because I was too tired to take them in.  they say it will be pleasant for purim but it just might rain next week. we need the rain and it is a blessing but it has been a very wet few months.

 I went to Jerusalem on Thursday to visit the kids and stayed for Shabbat.  it was freezing and very stormy.  I was not dressed for the cold at all.  I didn't wear a sweater or gotkas under my skirt and I was wearing tights instead of woolen socks.  I didn't wear boots and my feet were freezing.  I stopped off at the main bus station maul and bought myself a pair of ankle high suede boots.  they were only $27.  on the way back to safed I bought myself a pair of pumps for only $50.  they were also half price.

I have been spending oodles of money on purim.  it seems like it never ends.  I decided to make shepherd 's pies with chopped beef and chicken livers in teriyaki sauce with onions and mushrooms. I may make a quinoa salad.  the Sephardi sister and grandma will bring tons of salads.   I bought a very expensive watermelon, which is definitely not in season.  I didn't get to taste it but the merchant said it was very sweet.  his strawberries have been heavenly.  I hope it will be tasty and special.  and I bought bite size chocolate covered ice-cream pieces.  there are tons of candy tucked away in the closet.

I do not have to work tomorrow.  I stayed late and left shepherd's pies for the yeshiva and a corn soufflé, a vegan chocolate cake and sesame tahini cookies for their supper tomorrow.  tomorrow is a fast day. I am planning on cooking and possibly making hamentashen.  I have been suffering with a headache all day.  I might just take a pill.  I already made up several purim bags of goodies to give out to neighbors. I bought a nutella like spread to fill the hamentashen.  last year I used date spread and it wasn't a big hit.  I would like to make a traditional poppy seed filling but no one here likes that and I am not planning on eating any hamentashen.

On My Way

it is 1:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  I just finished up washing all of the coffee cups and pots and pans from last Shabbat.  I cooked up a small pot of turkey meatballs and a small pot of chicken soup for my friend who is coming tomorrow to dog sit.  I am going to Jerusalem tomorrow and staying for Shabbat.  the yeshiva has an out Shabbat and I am not going to work tomorrow.  I left two tins of spaghetti and zucchini for their lunch tomorrow.  most of the guys went to a wedding this evening so I made a smaller supper for the few who were staying in.  I cooked up a small bag of turkey necks and added leftover rice and a whole small pumpkin.  I baked 3 huge sweet potatoes and cut them up and I left a tin of green lentils that were leftover from lunch.  I'm sure I made too much.  you never know, though.  some times they are ravenous and sometimes they are not.

I made a small quinoa salad for my friend for Shabbat.  I cannot stand the taste of quinoa but this salad was rather tasty.  I grated two granny smith apples and one carrot, chopped up some chives, added a handful of yellow raisins and added cinnamon and fresh lemon.  my friend does not like oil on her salad or I would have drizzled olive oil.  I did add a little date syrup.  I actually liked it.  I must try it this way for the yeshiva.  the only problem is that we never get fruit.

 I bought tons of frozen fruit so my friend could have her smoothies while I'm away.  I have been using frozen cherries and cranberries on my yogurt.  I have been sugarless for a while now.  i don't think I lost weight.  for a moment it did look like my stomach had shrunk a bit.  I went to the doctor yesterday to get the paper work started for all my medical appts.  he suggested a blood test and as I was already fasting, I agreed.  it turns out that my sugar is pretty high.  I don't really get it but I think that I need to drink water and start walking again.  I do not want to go diabetic.

 I am pretty tired.  I'm not quite ready to go to sleep.  I am having a chai tea with sugarless almond milk.  I  have bought a ton of junk to give away for purim.  I locked out and don't need to cook at the yeshiva for purim.  they were having around 45 guests and I told them to call the caterer.  i do not do catering.  I cook for young men who would eat a shoe.  I do not like to cook for the rabbis and their families.  we were supposed to have a party downstairs  on Wednesday night for my daughter-in-law's brother, who is joining the army.  I bought a ton of candy and plastic toy soldiers to give out to all the kids.  I even got three helium balloons.  it was my typical theme party and I bought kakki colored disposable table cloths and took out my son's old army boots and made a statue.  the party was cancelled.  I lost at least three nights of sleep worrying about this event.

it will now be incorporated into the purim hijinks on Thursday; while we all drink and get really happy and very silly.  I bought a cow pajama onezy to wear for purim.  I am a big fat cow and now I will dress as one. 

Just Another Friday Afternoon

it is 4:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  I straightened out the house, swept up all of the dog hair and washed the week's dishes.  I am far too tired and way too cold to wash the dishes during the week after I come home from work.  I spend about an hour during the work day washing up pots and pans and serving dishes and utensils.  my hands are wrecked.  I come home in wet clothes, too.  I usually get out of my work clothes and put on warm pajamas and robes before I eat.  I don't like showering at night.  I didn't wash the floors because it is still quite wet and muddy outside and the dog will surely leave paw prints all over the house again.

I made a large pot of turkey neck soup and had tons of veggies to add to it.  I tried out a piece of turmeric root for the first time.  can't wait to taste it.  I also made two tilapia fillets in a spicy Sephardi sauce with string beans and carrots.  I managed to broil a small amount of chicken liver and made chopped liver with hard cooked eggs and sautéed onions.  I doubt that I will make it out to synagogue tomorrow morning.  it stopped raining and the sun actually appears every once in awhile but it is still pretty cold.

I stayed in bed until noon this morning.  I let the dog out at 7:00 a.m. and went back to sleep.  I was having dreams about plays and costumes.  they were pretty intense.  I am still quite upset about what transpired between my friend and myself.  thirty years is a long time to be associated with another person.  I still long for a reunion with my sister, who lives in safed, but I don't see it happening.  I am quite alone.  it is good that I spend so many hours out of the house and have interaction with other humans at the yeshiva each day.  it is hard on the legs but very good for the heart.

I am waiting for my non gluten brownie cake to get done.  I used half a cup of peanut flour instead of the suggested almond and I used 1/2 a cup of sugarless cherry concentrate syrup for the maple syrup.  I also used 1 tsp. of pure almond extract instead of vanilla and 1 tsp of baking powder instead of soda.  I think I used one small avocado and one and a half small bananas with 3 eggs and a half cup of cocoa powder.  I didn't add the frozen cherries in the end.  I did see a recipe that called for mint leaves and raspberries on a vegan avocado and chocolate pudding.  I bought mint leaves for my tea on Shabbat.

I have two spelt rolls for Shabbat from last week in the freezer.  I haven't been eating bread during the week.  I did sneak a piece of vegan cornbread at work.  and yesterday I snatched a square of the peppery noodle kugel.  it was yummy.  I woke up feeling not hungry this morning.  I am usually ravenous in the morning. I did have 2 large spoons of peanut butter before I went to sleep.  who knows?  I will have a lovely supper all by myself.  I will leave the heaters on and be comfortable.  I will pay the piper later.  I have a wonderful friend who sends me some money every month so I can heat my house and even buy salmon to eat when I chose.  may she be blessed ten fold!  I am fortunate to have good friends in my life.