Been Awhile

it's midday here in the holy city of zefat. i haven't been out of the house in over a week. yes, it's been awhile since i got dressed, got into town, saw any adults, and ate properly. i'm a mess! it's also been awhile since i blogged.

my son switched to a new internet provider. it's a religious company. he got tired of seeing scantily clad women pop up when he watched sports. while i commend his efforts, i wasn't able to get into my blog site. he called up the company and explained that my blog was 'kosher' so they removed the filter and now everyone is able to read my blog, again. yeh!

i have been emailing an old friend. he's actually, the widowed husband of an old friend. i think he's courting me. i don't know, exactly, how to take this. i've also heard from my first love again. he sounds pretty clinical, though. he is the dean of a college, after all. i am in a funk! what exactly was i thinking after 44 years?.

i thought about going to the seniors' center a few hours today. i actually, got up and showered. i tried trimming my bushy head of hair because my head coverings were all slipping off. i had thought about getting a real haircut, for a change. haven't had one in scores of years. i didn't even have a proper pair of scissors in the house. i managed to hack off most of my hair with a nail scissors. i figure, that when it grows back, i'll get a nice do. someday!!

it's amazing to me that i actually took some time to trim my toenails, too. i can't believe how i have let myself go. no hair dye, no exercize and no cosmetics. and to boot, i have been binging on tea biscuits and chocolate spread, lately. what is the matter with me???

it is rather cold in zefat. i took my grandson out for a stroll yesterday, while we had a bit of sun. i felt sorry for his being cooped up in the house for a few days. he was loving his ride on his little bicycle. it has along handle that i push him with. i know that he is precocious, but still, he is not able to ride a bicycle at only 17 months. he does seem to be able to do everything else.

i've taken to lock my doors lately because sahar can get out now. i even locked the hall door that leads to the other floors, because sahar figured out how to open the door. his young mom couldn't believe that he could reach the handle until she saw for herself, exactly what he's capable of. are we having fun yet?

on sunday we had two funerals, back to back. both ladies were zefat residents for many years. i had to watch sahar in the morning. it became too much of a hassle for me to bring him over to his other grandmother so i could atend the funerals. it was freezing and pouring for most of the day and i didn't have the cab fare, either.

i have been to the cemetary, way too often, lately. there's got to be something else for me to do. i could go to the wedding of a former work mate tonight. i did go to the cemetary last week for his wife's first yirtseit. i just can not bring myself to be around a bunch of people. i also can't fit into any of my nice clothes, at the moment.

i think that i have forgotten how to act around adults. i spend most of my time playing with a toddler. he is a hand full! but i can't imagine my life without him. what is the matter with me?? i have a live suitor and i can't imagine making a move.