yesterday, as i was getting out of the cab to visit the seniors, the driver showed me pix of his two grandchildren. he went on and on about how wonderful and adorable they were and then told me that, in all honesty, he loved them even more than his own kids. he said it was like the fruit of the tree one plants.
i absolutely agreed with him. i adore every moment with sahar. well, almost every moment. last night, when he woke up screaming and couldn't be consoled for over an hour, i actually didn't adore him. i wanted to shake him and scream for him to knock it off. i couldn't care less that his teeth were coming in. i wanted him to shut up.
it reminded me of when i was a parent. i had zero patience when zvi would cry. i remember holding him up near the window, when he was just a baby, and telling him that if he wouldn't stop crying i would toss him out. how horrible!
i think the reason we love our grandchildren so much, is that we don't have the obligation of raising them. that's why we call them 'grand' children. it's simply grand to be able to play with them and feed them junk and not worry about every little thing. if they get sick, the parents have to deal with it. we don't have to worry about which schools to pick or if we should vaccinate or not. it's not our problem.
in all honesty, sahar is a much better natured little baby than zvi was. he is a climber, which zvi wasn't and he is much more aggressive than zvi was. i do not see the similarites so much. zvi didn't get his teeth until about 10 months and sahar seems to be following in this tradition. none the less, sahar doesn't really remind me of zvi or bring back fond memories of being a mother. i am the grandmother. i am a good 58 years older than this little boy. i have no fantasies of raising him.
i love to kiss him and bite him and tickle him and talk to him. i like to dance with him and fall asleep with him. i also love the fact that i get to give him back to his parents. i get to relax and get on my blog when i want to. i pray very hard that i will live long enough to see him through his first haircut, his bar mitzvah and his wedding. who knows? perhaps i'll live long enough to be a greatgrandmother. my poor mother missed it by three months. i think of her often and try to emmulate the type of grandmother that she was.
i had the morning off and gal's oldest sister watched sahar upstairs, today. i gave him a bottle and put him to sleep in the stroller at 9:00 a.m. she then took over until 4:00 p.m. i did go up at 3:00 p.m. and make him some baby cereal and another bottle. he was in a good mood and was clapping along to the mtv videos. i was not that pleased with his watching it but i'm only the grandmother.
i got to check out a pilates class yesterday. it was definately, doable, but not so easy. luckily, i didn't strain anything. i felt a bit elated afterwards. i intend to continue once a week to begin with. i'm even tinking about going back to aroebics this evening after a year's break. we shall see.
i was supposed to start the house repairs today but i couldn't get started. if i don't need to watch sahar tomorrow, i'll hopefully, get busy.