Thursday, April 8, 2010


i knew that when i wrote that i hadn't, yet, caught the flu bug, that the "yet" was going to do me in. i woke up so sick yesterday that i wanted to die. i was congested and it felt like a goat or baby elephant was standing on my head. it hurt to swallow and i was in a bad mood. i slept for hours on end and only got up to answer the phone.

sometime during the day, someone from my bank called to give me a password so that i could bank online. she spoke to me in english for quite awhile and tried to talk me through the process. she gave up beacuse it was too hard to do in english and told me that she would call me back. she actually, did call me back in the evening, and i tried several times, unsuccessfully, to type in the secret word that appeared on the screen. i hate those things. i can never get it quite right. i tried typing in the secret word three times and was getting very uptight. besides which, my head was splitting. i told the lady from the bank that i was totally done and hung up.

i was too sick to get up and make a hot drink for myself. each time that zvi called me i was more nasty. i blasted him for not paying his share of the electricity last month. he managed to buy a car this morning and i insisted that he pay me something up front. i never had a car and i grew up in a home without one. i am not a car person, anyway. i actually have a car phobia. i don't like to sit in the front seat, either. i often have crash fantasies when i travel in a car. i have had full fledged anxiety attacks in taxi cabs.

last night, when zvi called for the umpteenth time, to invite me to join gal's family for a birthday party, i nearly lost it on him for not understanding how sick i was. he called once again to ask if i could babysit for sahar all day. i of course, said no. but when he called again, obviously, desperate, i agreed. i'd do anything to get him off the line.

i went upstairs at 7:30 a.m. this morning and i just came downstairs. it's already 4:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. gal just got back from work and gave me money for the electricity. i felt bad taking it. i guess i'm one big schizoid. anyway, she asked if i could watch the baby tomorrow until 12:00. i agreed. so i need to get to the supermarket now to buy some food for shabbat. you'd think that i would have something left over from pesach. wouldn't you? we do have a few rotting pears, and that's about it.

the baby was actually, not that difficult to manage. it's a good thing that he takes a bottle. i have come a long way since he was a newborn. i now find myself adding a bit of sugar to his herbal tea. and this morning, i bought him a jar of baby applesauce that was loaded with sugar. how absolutely, scandoulous of me! l don't feel all that well right now. i hope that i can manage the trip to the supermarket.

i had to miss yoga this morning. if i am going to help out on a permanent basis i will need to hire someone to help out so i can get to yoga. it's bad enough that i gave up on my aroebics this year, but i can't lose yoga too. i keep on planning to return to the gym but it doesn't seem to be happening.

the baby terrorized the dogs today. he managed to hit cloey in the face with the t.v remote control and he pulled cooky's tail really hard. cooky really freaked out. the two of them are staying far away from him now. and to think that i was afraid of the dogs hurting the baby. go know!


  1. fears are screwy feelings but real all the same.
    as for tzvi and gal-please stop letting them take advantage of your good graces - especially when you are not feeling well! you do SO MUCH for then and i truly hope they appreciate your availability in cooking, shopping to be able to cook, and babysitting at a moments notice. you also need to do for YOU!

  2. I love the pictures! Wow, Sahar is growing so fast! Enjoy every moment with him.