Friday, April 16, 2010

Friday Afternoon

it's 1:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i haven't done a thing all morning. i'm expected to go to the inlaw's for the shabbat meal. i thought about staying home and making some fish. i even thought about defrosting some of last's week dinner but i can't be bothered. i can't even get it together to go down to the local super and buy some nosh to bring over tonight.

i have pretty much been housebound this week. i am suffering from some kind of virus. i missed three sessions of yoga already. my body aches and i'm headachey. it feels like my sinuses are plugged up and i keep getting this burning sensation behind my earlobes. that terrifies me. i keep thinking that i'm relapsing into another palsy attack. only this time, i think it will be the left side of my face that goes numb.

i ended up babysitting for my grandson on thursday. it was last minute. gal was supposed to bring him over to her mother's. michal and i were planning to co-babysit sahar but it didn't work out. i had him by myself for about 9 hours. i must say, that it went ok. i stuffed him with bottles of formula and jars of baby food. some grandma i am turning out to be! in my own defense, i did make him some mashed potatoes and carrots.

i am beginning to feel vulnerable again. i think that i'm getting a bit paranoid too. i feel that zvi is deliberately shutting me out from his life even though he lives here. i know that he did try to involve me in the car deal and i wasn't interested. it was just too nerve racking and my head was bursting. i've honestly, been feeling too rotten to care about anything except my grandson.

it is unusually hot today with no air. i am sweating and feeling rather uncomfortable. it just makes me feel more ill, like i'm feverish. i haven't gotten dressed in a couple of days, either. i think that i probably lost the extra pesach, matzah and sugar binge weight. nonetheless, i'm feeling rather bloated and went back to wearing my elastic waisted, prairie, denim skirt.

i still haven't heard from my homeopath. i did speak with her assistant and it seems that she won't be coming to zefat any time soon. i have no drive, unfortunately to travel to haifa to see her. so there it is. i remain in this listless state waiting to feel well again. my bedroom wall finally dried up from the leakage incident so i'm ready to paint it whenever i get the strength to get to town and buy some paint.

i just went outside to hang up an israeli flag. generally, i am not a flag waver. i have never been one. back in the 'golden medina', i didn't own an american flag. i was a bit of an anarchist back in the old days, too. And even though both my parents, G-d bless their souls, were american war veterans, i just, never caught the patriotic bug. now, i live in an area, where the men on the block, compete with each other to raise the most and the biggest flags for independence day. the very haredi jews don't raise flags. afterall, my son did serve in the israeli army for three years, so i think i'm expected to do it. okay, i'm done. shabbat shalom!


  1. i wish there was something/anything i could do to help/support you. please tell me. i care for you.

  2. I hope you are feeling better. Physical sickness has a way of affecting our emotions as well, but I believe you'll be chipper again before you know it!
    Zvi will be needing you for a long time so don't worry about that.
    Ah, go ahead and raise that flag! Nothing wrong with showing some love for your country.