it is 4:30 p.m. in the holy city of Safed. it is about an hour to candle lighting. we got through Rosh Hashanah well. it was quiet and stress free. I actually, enjoyed my food. I didn't need to referee anyone and I had only adult conversation. I went out the first night to friends. I drank wine. I slept well. I got to services early and I stayed until the end.
I didn't have anyone to care for. I didn't have anyone to take care of. I had a friend staying over and we spoke freely without anyone interrupting the flow. I missed having the grandchildren with me but I didn't miss the noise. I didn't have to watch what I said, nor did I taste my own bile. it was a good holiday.
the next day was a fast day. I stayed home. my grandson came over for a few hours and we watched Halloween cartoons. the kids are mad for these. his mother came to pick him up and I wished her a good new year. I felt peaceful. I didn't feel resentful or judgemental. I felt like my genuine self. the next day I set off for the hospital near Tel Aviv to do my brain MRI.
it took me about 3 hours to get to the hospital. I took 3 busses. I had a 5:30 p.m. appointment. they took me in about 6:30 p.m. that was a first. usually I wait for about 2 hours. I was finished by 7:30 p.m. I had prearranged a taxi to take me home. it took a bit to find each other but I was on my way home by 8:00 p.m. we stopped for coffee and I got to sit outside and breathe some fresh air. after being cooped up in the hospital for hours, it was nice to just relax.
I was extremely tired today. I ran off to the supermarket to get some chicken for Shabbat. I was just too tired to cook anything for myself so I put the chicken in the freezer. I decided on having a tuna sandwich. I just got a second wind and made some kasha, pumpkin, raw beet salad, string beans and fish. why not eat a festive Shabbat meal even if I am alone. I have a good Maeve Binchey novel for tomorrow.
I think I may have lost a bit of my stomach. I haven't had any sugar lately. I did dip the apple and challah in honey on the holiday. I have been eating fruit again. for some reason, I gave up fruit a while ago. it could be that it was too expensive. I have been enjoying apples. I haven't had any chocolate all week. I made whole wheat apple/carrot/raisin muffins before the holiday. it was my treat with my morning tea. there were only a few spoons of oil and honey in them. it was a perfect swap out for the traditional Rosh Hashanah honey cake.
I may go to synagogue this evening for the Shabbat service. my granddaughter may be there and I will get to see her. that's if I don't fall asleep soon. I am very tired. I am trying hard to keep it all positive. the kids got me a lovely turtle necked shawl from their vacation. I will truly enjoy it this winter. I sent them an email to thank them. I even read their new year card. a first for me. I don't ever enjoy receiving help or gifts. I am working on showing appreciation to others. maybe you can teach an old dog tricks. Shabbat Shalom!