Sunday, October 9, 2016

Bring It On

it is nearly 7:30 p.m. in the holy city of Safed.  I was gone for most of the day.  I went to my second CoDa meeting this morning.   I wasn't planning on going but after my girlfriend told me this morning that I was being codependent, I showered and took a cab.  at first, it was just me and another lady.  apparently, a meeting is two people.  another lady joined us so it was a bit more lively.

you are urged to attend at least 6 meetings before you decide to quit.  I will give it a try.  I still don't fully grasp the process of the 12 steps.  the lady who joined us later on, co hosts other groups.  she suggested consolidating all of the groups into one 'recovery' anonymous.  I don't know how the alkies, druggies, food addicts, and parents of druggies would feel about that.  since there was only the three of us we could not make any decision.

I could easily go to the debtors' group and overeaters' group, too.  I would have three days out of the house every week.  I would be very busy but I'm afraid I would get too involved with other peoples' problems.  this morning I called the telephone company because my friend's phone wasn't working.  she has a cellphone and a basic grasp of Hebrew and yet, I felt that I needed to get this taken care of for her. 

as it turned out, she had already called the phone company, even earlier that I had and had it all straightened out.  I did not sleep a wink last night.  I was so tired, too.  I had read most of a novel and my eyes were burning.  I went into the bedroom and turned off the television.  I ended up tossing and turning until around 5:00 a.m.  I felt pretty lousy when I let the dogs out.

my mind gets overactive in the middle of the night.  I start worrying about all the repairs I need to have done in the house.  I wish I could just turn off my thought processes at night.  it was yet, another, really hot day.  I bought a few stretchy tops for the holiday's.  it's been awhile since I treated myself to anything.  I bought a pair of shoes at the hospital maul, but they proved to be less than comfortable.

I usually wear white on Yom Kippur.  I didn't manage to buy white sneakers.  I will wear the new straw like shoes, which are black.  I hope to clean the house tomorrow.  I went to the doctor's office in the evening to get my payment voucher for the neurosurgeon's appointment in the next few weeks.  I can try to spackle the downstairs bedroom's wall tomorrow. I  hope i'll have the energy and patience.  I need to buy some white paint, too.  I'd rather not go to town again, tomorrow.

my son asked to come for the final meal before the fast of Yom Kippur.  I ran out to buy frozen kreplach, little Jewish wantons.  as it turns out, they won't be joining me here.  I offered to make the meal for them to be picked up.  I don't know if this is codependent behavior, or just trying to give them a break.  I already bought the ingredients, and I can eat the leftovers on Shabbat.

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