Monday, May 11, 2015

Getting It Together

it is 7:30 a.m. and I'm getting ready to start my day.  I feel a bit rested today.  I was really out of it yesterday.  I had a bad dizzy attack in the afternoon.  I've been drinking a lot of lemon water lately and I thought I was keeping myself well hydrated.  I don't know what happened but I'm feeling stronger today.

I was able to get a doctor's appointment for 9:00 a.m. so I will try to walk over to the office.  I need the exercise.  I watched the kids yesterday and put them to sleep while the older kids went to a shoe sale.  the three year old pulled off my head covering and I was totally humiliated.  my hair is always covered and no one has seen my head in 30 years.  I keep my hair cropped very short and no longer dye it.  I don't wear my wig much, either.

the kids laughed at their accomplishment.  I was fit to be tied.  I gave the granddaughter a potch on her hand.  I really wanted to beat her.  I felt so violated by them.  the big kids got back at 8:30 p.m. and I retreated upstairs to my t.v. corner.  I am addicted to reality t.v.  I have 'lifetime' and i'll watch anything from girl midgets to serial killers.  I truly love 'dance moms' and 'storage wars'.  I have watched a couple of drug and alcohol interventions and a few episodes of 'hoarders' but they were too hard to take.

I really don't do much lately.  I finally tracked down the number for a washing machine repair service.  it was a long hard trail, too.  hopefully, i'll get a 'whirlpool' technician to come to the house.  I've used the local yokels but they can't really fix the problem.  I'm learning to use only professionals. I have a huge load of towels waiting to be laundered.  I'm so much calmer today.  I feel like I've been sedated.  I'm thinking about keeping the doctor's appointment next week.  I might try to reach the secretary later and see if I can reschedule if I have the resolve.  something tells me to just forget about it, though.

I still feel a bit pressured to buy some produce for Shabbat but maybe i'll get lucky and the kids will go out this week.  one can only hope.  I got a letter from the vet to bring in the puppy for his second rounds of shots.  I need to buy him a collar first.  he is a lot to handle now.  I really am thinking about leaving him at the outdoor animal shelter.  he is used to sleeping with me in a bed but he is still a young thing and I can't keep up with him.  I saved his life.  that should matter for something, right?

I am still stressing over the arrival of the friend's dog.  I am dreading it, actually.  she took care of my dogs when I went off to radiation for 2 months.   I do wish that she found someone else to care for this pet.  and I wish I was getting paid for the gig.  I certainly could use the money.  anyway, it's a new day and I'm already feeling a bit tired.  perhaps it's time to see the homeopath again.

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