it is nearly 3:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. my floors are clean but smell of doggie pish. I'm pretty much finished with my cooking. the kids are just having lunch with me tomorrow. we are all going to the clan for Shabbat night. one of the sisters is having a birthday. I don't know if i'll make it or not. I'm tired and don't feel like taking a long walk home at night.
we've had a really bad heat wave. it's been brutal. I try not to be outside at all until it cools a bit in the late afternoon. I've been making a kiddie pool for the little ones. they love pouring water all over their old granny dearest. I haven't complained about getting wet, either.
I started my morning with pycho drama. I simply reminded my 28 year old son to wear his helmet when he rides to town on his electric bike. all hell broke loose. he threatened to move out and I told him to get the 'blank' out of my house and find someone else to babysit the children. I know it isn't ideal to share the house but my son doesn't have a choice. he can't afford to move out and live on his own.
I'm very conflicted. on one hand, I know, that if I had a rental I'd be financially secure. on the under hand, I can't throw my son and his family out. I tried it a few years ago and it was torture not seeing the grandkids for months. I cannot deal with my son's mood wings. I'm sure it is the effects of the Ritalin but what can I do? I'm simply not ready to roll over and die yet. I often think that would solve the boy's problems. I'm sure he will be devastated. I'm his only blood except for his kids.
I should just learn to bud out of their lives. I guess I'm too controlling. if he wants to tempt fate and ride without a helmet it's his decision. the same applies with the daughter-in-law. if she wants to continue taking a certain med that she obviously shouldn't be on, it's her problem. why do I take it upon myself to straighten them out? it's their lives, right? when my mom gave over her folk wisdom I accepted it like the Ten Commandments.
I'm not saying that I never gave my mom any grief. I'm simply saying that I appreciated her common sense and her vast knowledge of medical issues. I remember her telling me that if you're going to get cancer your best chance of survival is cervical cancer l thought about that all through my radiation treatments for my cervical cancer. yes, mom was right.
my son called me a few times from work to apologize. I wasn't having any part of it. I wanted to stay mad. all the while, I kept on cooking. I burnt the rice and I burnt the wheat. I nearly burnt the tomato relish. I baked a pound cake and whipped up my last container of cream. it was stiff for a second and then separated. I added some instant vanilla pudding but it didn't really help. I put it in the fridge and tried not to obsess over it. I ended up slicing the loaf in half and putting the cream mixture in the middle.
I didn't taste any because I'm back on the 'south beach'. I just have to lose some of this bulk. I truly dread seeing the gyn next week. I guess I dread his seeing me, more. I wanted to make black eyed peas for myself but I couldn't be bothered. I ran out on Wednesday to shop for Shabbat. as far as I knew, I was making all of the meals. I spent a small fortune on veggies. I was told yesterday evening that the kids were going to the clan for the night meal. normally, I would have already cooked most of the food but I hadn't. I was too hot and tired.
they wouldn't get away with a switcheroo with the Sephardi mom. I'm too wishy washy for sure. I spent an hour or more sobbing on the phone with my pal from efrat. I then got into a politically incorrect argument with a zefat friend over the 'American Crime' t.v. series. I started getting angry about the government's policy on immigrants. I then thought who cares? I live in Israel.
I made a small pot of turkey meatballs and cooked up a few pieces of chicken. I made a small egg salad, a raw beet and carrot slaw, a bulgur salad, a tomato salsa, an eggplant salad and a cabbage slaw with mayo. I still have an eggplant to fry up. I'm tired and would love to take a nap except that the grandson is here while his mom and sister nap. oh well.......
afterthought: last week as I fell asleep, my grandson played with my deodorant spray. I woke up from the noise. I yelled at him and retrieved the spray. I fell asleep sometime afterwards and was awakened by the sound and the smell of my deodorant spray. once again, he had taken the spray. this time he used up almost the entire can. I could hardly breathe. as there wasn't even a slight breeze or flow of air, I sat outside for hours until my lungs stopped burning.
he was by now, downstairs, playing alone in the backyard. his parents and sister were all sound asleep. I let him know once again, how dangerous playing with spray perfume and deodorants are. his father took him inside. I told them later what he had done. I also told them that he is always playing with their perfumes. well, just awhile ago, he broke the daughter-in-law's expensive bottle of perfume. she was fit to be tied. oh well...........