Sunday, November 8, 2009
Old Vs. New
i am 58 years old and already, feel obsolete. my knowledge and life time experiences are not respected and i am viewed as a joke. i don't remember feeling this way about my mom. she was 91 and had it together. she had a lot of wisdom and it stood the test of time. she was not old fashion and she made a lot of sense. i accepted what she knew as beneficial to me. her vast life experiences were still valid, not mine. it's as if i've lived in another universe and i've been recently transported to this one. my son asked me to watch the baby on thursday night because he and his wife wanted a little 'down' time for themselves. i was so excited to finally, be alone with sahar. my son gave me a set of instructions as if i were a 12 year old babysitter, coming to their house for the first time. i wasn't supposed to leave the baby alone or go downstairs for any reason. and i was supposed to call them if i had any problems. when did i become so useless? when did i stop being taken, for serious? the fact that i worked to support my son, and was a single parent has been forgotten. it's like i played no part in raising this young man to adulthood. and everything that i have learned about babies is passe. they took the baby to the hospital for a routine checkup, this morning. my take on this is why not leave well enough alone. why go to a hospital where the majority of people are sick! especially, since this is flu season, why be exposed to any of the strains that are floating around the hospital? my motto in life is to take the path of least resistance. why are we hurrying to give the two month old baby so many vaccines now, when we read so much about the side effects and health problems, including autism? how many times do i have to say that the baby should wear a hat or explain how the body heat leaves through the head? are my beliefs so outrageous? are my concerns not to be taken seriously? when my mother gave me 'motherly' advise, i accepted it as the gospel. it was always, spot on! it was after all, based on years of Dr. Spock. the pediatrician, not the vulcan from star trek. now i am told how to hold the baby's head and when to give him a pacifier. i feel like a complete boob! i would normally over compensate and start stuffing my face with something fattening, but i'm really not so hungry. i finally, took out the mattress from the computer room and unzipped it's cover. i threw the cover in a gentle cycle and washed all of the dog pee out of it. i tried washing the actual foam mattress with some bleach and water but it started to fall apart. the big test will be if i can get the foam mattress back into the mattress cover. it was definitely, long over due! it seems that every time we leave the door to the computer room open, one of my dogs pees on it. add that to my list of inadequacies. just because i'm losing most of my teeth and my hair has gone gray, doesn't mean i'm over the hill, or does it. here we go, old vs, new!