Monday, November 9, 2009

The Last Laugh!

my son just called to say that the baby would be staying with the clan today, while my daughter-in-law went to a wedding out of town. i went upstairs early this morning to check up on sahar because he received a few vaccinations yesterday, and was under the weather last night. he had little appetite and his eyes were glazed and he just, wasn't himself. the young couple came home last night with an entourage of two little brothers, two teenage sisters and one middle aged grandmother. the boys and zvi busied themselves with planting a small willow tree in our backyard, while the sisters took turns playing with the baby. safta miriam, got the bath ready for sahar because the nurse said it would help soothe him. he loves to bathe, anyway. i talked to him in english as he was being bathed and held his hand. while safta miriam was dressing him, i noticed that gal was going through his baby wardrobe, which is quite extensive. she chose the outfit, that i had bought for his redemption service at succot. i innocently, asked where the baby was going. i was told that they were going to a wedding the next day in bnei brak. that's a good three hour bus trip and an all 'nighter' affair. i immediately, said that i didn't think it was wise for the baby to travel after he received his shots. the sephardi grandma agreed with me. gal agreed that if he was feverish in the morning, she would leave him. i suggested that she start freezing her milk but she complained that she didn't have enough. when i came upstairs this morning, gal said that baby was fine. he has nursed during the night and didn't cry a lot. i just assumed that he'd be going to the wedding with his young mom. so i guess, i was a little bewildered, after my son called and very hurt that i wasn't asked to sit for him. i hadn't seen him the entire weekend, and all of yesterday. i couldn't hold back my disappointment, and told my son that i also, wanted to stay with him. my son, automatically, got defensive and went into his 'offensive' mode. he told me that i was making a big deal out of nothing and hung up on me. when i called him back, he was non-responsive and hung up again. i plunged into a black hole. my mind started racing and all i thought about was running away. i wanted to run away before my daughter-in-law left with the baby. i thought about running over to my sister's to welcome home my nephew but i didn't want to intrude on their family reunion. i thought about not being home when my son returned from work, but i didn't have anywhere to go. i thought about evicting the young couple from my rooftop apartment. i fantasized about selling the house and relocating to another city. i imagined not being home for shabbos this week and having them fend for themselves. i was raging on and i couldn't hold back my tears. that's when gal's mother came in. it was only 1:00 p.m. and they were already taking the baby. i was so upset that i could hardly say hello to her. i didn't follow her upstairs, to see the baby. instead, i started to dust off the television and it's stand. i was on my knees on the floor, cleaning the bottom shelf, when i heard them leave. good riddens! i thought, to myself. just then, miriam came back in with sahar in her arms and asked me where i had been. gal went upstairs to get the carriage but i didn't run to help her, like i always, do. i went over to say goodbye to sahar. miriam told me that he had a fever. i went over and felt his head with my lips. he was warm. we both, agreed that he shouldn't travel. i wanted to add that he shouldn't have to leave his home, either, but i didn't. miriam invited me to come over and visit him. i won't. i started speaking to sahar in english. he stared right at me and listened to my every word. and when i told him that he would be drinking mommy's milk from a bottle today, he gave me a real smile. i couldn't believe my mazel. yeh, i got my first smile from sahar! it reminds me of and old movie favorite of mine, "father's little dividend", with spencer tracy. the new baby cries every time the grandpa gets near him. one day, the grandfather babysits during a family emergency, and takes the baby to the park. the grandpa gets preoccupied playing catch with some bigger kids, and leaves the baby sleeping in the stroller. when he returns, the baby and stroller are gone. he runs to the local police station, where the toddler is being spoiled rotten by the officers. all he has to do is hold the baby so they'll know that he is the rightful, grandfather. but he knows from experience, that as soon as he picks the baby up, it will start to cry bloody murder. so, when he picks the baby up, instead of crying, the baby gives him the cutest smile and starts to giggle at him and they finally bond. my son just called to say that he knows it isn't fair and admitted that he also, doesn't always get a turn to hold him when he's over there. he told me that i was lucky not to be stuck with the baby. i tried to explain to him, that as a grandma, i indeed, want to be stuck with him. so today i got the last smile. and maybe tomorrow, i'll get the last laugh!


  1. And I thought parenting and motherhood was hard!
    I see grand-motherhood is too. And I'm sure that when my M decides and has her own baby, that F will get first dibs before me.
    Sometimes I wonder why we wanted to be mothers!
    If you ever need an escape, call me!
    I, too have cable TV, computer-and chocolate and ice cream too.

  2. It does seem that in a lot of cases the maternal grandmother has the advantage (not always but in a lot of cases). I think it is a mother-daughter bond type of thing. Try not to take it as an insult. Just keep loving your family and being there for them. I'm sure you are a wonderful grandmother!

  3. Hang in there! hopefully when Gal is a little more sure of her self and stops running to mommy for everything, she will realize that you are also there to help and want to help with Sahar. He does need both of his grandmas.