it is almost 10:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. we just finished breaking the 25 hour fast of tisha b'av. everyone has a headache. we are in the midst of a horrible heat wave. I stayed upstairs by myself today. the kids didn't come up to see me. I guess it was a special treat for them to have both of their parents home all day. I watched one holocaust film and a few videos. I slept quite a bit.
we have renters coming on Tuesday. we need to catch up on our laundry and make 'pesach' downstairs. the daughter-in-law is at it downstairs. my son is his usual nasty self after his fast and is threatening not to help with anything. he needs to set up the pool tomorrow and we need to buy certain things for the pool. we need a new cover, chlorine tablets and a new filter. we also need to to buy two florescent light bulbs for the kitchen. I will probably have to stop off in town after work and buy these items.
I start a 3 week stint at the yeshiva tomorrow cooking for 25 American young men. my daughter-in-law doesn't have anyone to watch the kids tomorrow. she was depending on me even though I told them both on Friday that I have a job. I told her many months ago to put the kids in day camp. I refuse to get more hot and bothered than I already am. I am already dreading taking the job. the kitchen is hellish. the poor full time cook needs 7 hours to prepare two meals there. I used to do all 3 meals in 7 hours. the old kitchen was at least air conditioned.
I offered to call a friend to come by tomorrow to help me out but the daughter-in-law didn't agree to it. I am officially out of it. I just washed my floors because they were trashed over Shabbat. we will all be sleeping on my floor tomorrow night. I have 3 bedrooms on my floor and two working showers and toilets. the main problem is the dogs. the puppy is still not trained and the house smells like a kennel. I have been leaving the puppy on the porch on Shabbat so he doesn't get into fights with my two elderly bitches.
I might have to sleep with all three dogs in one of the smaller bedrooms. I have to make sure that the dogs don't go downstairs while we have a family there. it is all a lot of pressure. I will need to put all of my stuff away in my bedroom tomorrow. it is gong to be tense. I hope that the family doesn't freak out not having air conditioning downstairs. I told the kids months ago to install a small one in the master bedroom for the renters. why should anyone listen to me.
I was hoping to be scarce. I don't want to interact with anyone. I need to clean up the garden tomorrow. it is covered in doggie poo. I am getting extremely nervous. we need the rental money but it is going to be intense next week. if I didn't have the dogs it would be a lot easier. I am seriously considering bringing the puppy to the pound tomorrow. he is too destructive.
Sunday, July 26, 2015
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Sitting In The Dark
it is midnight in the holy city of zefat. I spent the entire day yesterday washing the floors. I tackled the herculean task of cleaning the upstairs roof top apartment. too. I managed to clean up all the pigeon poo from inside the apartment and outside of the fridge. I got the wooden floor to shine. it took over 3 hours.
I had gotten it into tip top shape before Pesach but sometime afterwards, a pigeon flew in and nested on the two burner stove on the top shelf and pooped all over the wooden floors. I even washed down the porch area yesterday. we are expecting paying guests right after tisha b'av. I came downstairs at 8:00 p.m. and I was tired.
the kids got back around 10:00 p.m. and shortly after the electricity blew. I couldn't get the circuit breaker to work. I tried until 2:00 a.m. and then went to bed. I woke up very irritated and anxious. the kids kept on blaming me for the power outage. every time the circuit breaker popped I got yelled at.
I was ready to tell them all to pack a bag and beat it. I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and the first thing I did was to try the electricity. it seemed for the most part to come back on. I think that all the water I poured onto the porch seeped into the walls causing a short. I felt terribly at fault, once again. my son called a friend who is supposed to be a master electrician. they were taking care of it this time.
I was told to be home from 1:00 p.m. until 3:00 p.m. to let the electrician downstairs. I needed to get dog food at the local supermarket and I wanted to get mascarpone cheese and whipping cream because I decided once again, to make a tiramisu dessert for Shabbat. I was afraid to start any projects before the repairman came. I refrained from doing any cooking , lest, I be caught short without electricity.
I was going nuts. I had so much I wanted to do but I didn't do a thing. I wanted to finish the upstairs apartment and finally get rid of all the dried pigeon poo on the inside porch but I let it go. I finally called my son at 4:00 p.m. to let him know how I had wasted my day by waiting for the electrician in vain. he told me that the daughter-in-law was coming home and I could step out. I ended up stepping out with the little kids to the supermarket down the stairs.
the granddaughter fell down a few steps on her rear end but didn't get hurt. she cried for a while. we found a small turtle and I automatically handed it over to the grandson. I then realized that we didn't really have anywhere to house it. with 3 dogs running around the backyard, it didn't stand a chance. I knew that the daughter-in-law would never allow the turtle in the house downstairs. I made the grandson give it up and, of course, he cried. now I had two crying kids on my hands.
at the supermarket, much to my surprise, was a package of mascarpone cheese. I couldn't find the regular cream cheese that I had used once before. the cheese was a small fortune. I shelled out $4 for a cup of cheese. that's outrageous! I never got to make the tiramisu because shortly after we returned from the supermarket, the electricians, mutt and jeff, arrived.
at 6:00 p.m. all the lights were on. as soon as they opened the circuit box and meddled with it we lost all the power until well after 11:00 p.m. I don't believe they knew what they were doing. the trouble with this generation of technicians is that they don't know how to fix things that aren't brand new. I was told right from the start that the circuit box was a balagon. my son wanted to know how much the insurance company would put out if we got a new box. I shot him down right away. the box has been updated throughout the years and does work.
the young electrician played around with the circuit buttons for hours before he left to get a 'machine.' he came back an hour later without 'said' machine. he fiddled with the buttons for another couple of hours and actually replaced the main button. he left close to midnight. the electricity was returned to part of the house only. he will come back on Sunday. we can't do any laundry or use all of the rooms downstairs. I'm scared to death of an electric fire. and I'm worried about losing power on Shabbat.
the kids paid him $100 and he didn't fix the problem. I am really feeling irritable. I threw a small fit around 9:30 p.m. because I needed to get veggies for the kids' Shabbat meals. they were supposed to shop for them today. I took the rest of my charity $ and bought veggies and melons for Shabbat. the daughter-in-law drove me to the store. the kittle kids fell asleep in the car. I carried the granddaughter to her bed.
I would have gotten an electrician to come in the morning. we all sat outside on the steps where there was street light for hours. it was getting cold but the house was pitch black inside so we didn't have a choice. I am pretty stressed out. my son turned on me like he always does when he's stressed. I wanted to tell them to hit the road today and don't come back but we've been down that road before.
I think that I was already freaked out after finding out that season 7 of 'Nurse Jackie' ended the series. I was already at such a loss. it is my favorite show. I have nothing to look forward to anymore. I am so tired but I can't unwind. this day was the pits. I have to make Shabbat meals and watch the kids tomorrow. I am pretty ticked off at the kids attitude, too. I have to be thankful that we are all safe and healthy for the moment, I guess. I don't look forward to tomorrow.
I had gotten it into tip top shape before Pesach but sometime afterwards, a pigeon flew in and nested on the two burner stove on the top shelf and pooped all over the wooden floors. I even washed down the porch area yesterday. we are expecting paying guests right after tisha b'av. I came downstairs at 8:00 p.m. and I was tired.
the kids got back around 10:00 p.m. and shortly after the electricity blew. I couldn't get the circuit breaker to work. I tried until 2:00 a.m. and then went to bed. I woke up very irritated and anxious. the kids kept on blaming me for the power outage. every time the circuit breaker popped I got yelled at.
I was ready to tell them all to pack a bag and beat it. I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and the first thing I did was to try the electricity. it seemed for the most part to come back on. I think that all the water I poured onto the porch seeped into the walls causing a short. I felt terribly at fault, once again. my son called a friend who is supposed to be a master electrician. they were taking care of it this time.
I was told to be home from 1:00 p.m. until 3:00 p.m. to let the electrician downstairs. I needed to get dog food at the local supermarket and I wanted to get mascarpone cheese and whipping cream because I decided once again, to make a tiramisu dessert for Shabbat. I was afraid to start any projects before the repairman came. I refrained from doing any cooking , lest, I be caught short without electricity.
I was going nuts. I had so much I wanted to do but I didn't do a thing. I wanted to finish the upstairs apartment and finally get rid of all the dried pigeon poo on the inside porch but I let it go. I finally called my son at 4:00 p.m. to let him know how I had wasted my day by waiting for the electrician in vain. he told me that the daughter-in-law was coming home and I could step out. I ended up stepping out with the little kids to the supermarket down the stairs.
the granddaughter fell down a few steps on her rear end but didn't get hurt. she cried for a while. we found a small turtle and I automatically handed it over to the grandson. I then realized that we didn't really have anywhere to house it. with 3 dogs running around the backyard, it didn't stand a chance. I knew that the daughter-in-law would never allow the turtle in the house downstairs. I made the grandson give it up and, of course, he cried. now I had two crying kids on my hands.
at the supermarket, much to my surprise, was a package of mascarpone cheese. I couldn't find the regular cream cheese that I had used once before. the cheese was a small fortune. I shelled out $4 for a cup of cheese. that's outrageous! I never got to make the tiramisu because shortly after we returned from the supermarket, the electricians, mutt and jeff, arrived.
at 6:00 p.m. all the lights were on. as soon as they opened the circuit box and meddled with it we lost all the power until well after 11:00 p.m. I don't believe they knew what they were doing. the trouble with this generation of technicians is that they don't know how to fix things that aren't brand new. I was told right from the start that the circuit box was a balagon. my son wanted to know how much the insurance company would put out if we got a new box. I shot him down right away. the box has been updated throughout the years and does work.
the young electrician played around with the circuit buttons for hours before he left to get a 'machine.' he came back an hour later without 'said' machine. he fiddled with the buttons for another couple of hours and actually replaced the main button. he left close to midnight. the electricity was returned to part of the house only. he will come back on Sunday. we can't do any laundry or use all of the rooms downstairs. I'm scared to death of an electric fire. and I'm worried about losing power on Shabbat.
the kids paid him $100 and he didn't fix the problem. I am really feeling irritable. I threw a small fit around 9:30 p.m. because I needed to get veggies for the kids' Shabbat meals. they were supposed to shop for them today. I took the rest of my charity $ and bought veggies and melons for Shabbat. the daughter-in-law drove me to the store. the kittle kids fell asleep in the car. I carried the granddaughter to her bed.
I would have gotten an electrician to come in the morning. we all sat outside on the steps where there was street light for hours. it was getting cold but the house was pitch black inside so we didn't have a choice. I am pretty stressed out. my son turned on me like he always does when he's stressed. I wanted to tell them to hit the road today and don't come back but we've been down that road before.
I think that I was already freaked out after finding out that season 7 of 'Nurse Jackie' ended the series. I was already at such a loss. it is my favorite show. I have nothing to look forward to anymore. I am so tired but I can't unwind. this day was the pits. I have to make Shabbat meals and watch the kids tomorrow. I am pretty ticked off at the kids attitude, too. I have to be thankful that we are all safe and healthy for the moment, I guess. I don't look forward to tomorrow.
Monday, July 13, 2015
Hot Town In The City
it is 7:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. the grandkids are taking a bubble bath. the dogs stink. I really should bathe them afterwards. the kids actually showered at the clan's house earlier and really don't need a bath. it's just another 'activity' for them.
the older kids, a.k.a. the parents,went to another town to check out a new supermarket. I haven't had to take care of the kids lately. I would love to be relieved of this duty for the rest of the summer. I have very little patience for them. just now I screamed at the boy to stop playing with the shower head and nearly lost my voice. it's exasperating.
I made a cheese sauce for the macaroni. I thought I had turned off the gas. well, I hadn't, so I had to make another batch. lucky for me I used a non stick pan. I really cannot stand being with the kids anymore. can a grandmother actually say this? I am hot and need a cold shower. the big kids will probably come home really late. once they are out of the house they run free.
there have been a couple of major scandals in zefat of late. one heard about a city worker absconding with the allotted food from the animal shelter. rumor had it that a dog had eaten another dog. it is pretty barbaric at times here in zefat. we also heard about a prestigious rabbi who 'absconded' with some wives here. it is not looking so good for zefat's reputation.
a couple of friends are planning to make a ladies' nite in a few weeks. it is to commemorate the 15th day of av. it is the 'Sadie Hawkins' day for religious female Jews. it comes a few days after a grueling fast day on Sunday. we are planning a mini concert and finger food buffet. I am probably going to make some more sangria. all we need is to bring in a crowd. that is not easy here in zefat.
living up here in the boonies is not easy. people cannot commit to the 10 minute bus ride. I usually pay people to come here. I am not doing much for the evening. i'm through with organizing and publicizing events. I am pretty much through with everything these days except for food.
I would like to ask my readers to write and email to the mayor of zefat encouraging him to straighten out the business with the animal shelter. if he would hear from people in America it would really turn him around. please drop an email to mayor shochat < Ilan@zefat.muni.il> let him know that you follow life in zefat on zelda's blog.
the older kids, a.k.a. the parents,went to another town to check out a new supermarket. I haven't had to take care of the kids lately. I would love to be relieved of this duty for the rest of the summer. I have very little patience for them. just now I screamed at the boy to stop playing with the shower head and nearly lost my voice. it's exasperating.
I made a cheese sauce for the macaroni. I thought I had turned off the gas. well, I hadn't, so I had to make another batch. lucky for me I used a non stick pan. I really cannot stand being with the kids anymore. can a grandmother actually say this? I am hot and need a cold shower. the big kids will probably come home really late. once they are out of the house they run free.
there have been a couple of major scandals in zefat of late. one heard about a city worker absconding with the allotted food from the animal shelter. rumor had it that a dog had eaten another dog. it is pretty barbaric at times here in zefat. we also heard about a prestigious rabbi who 'absconded' with some wives here. it is not looking so good for zefat's reputation.
a couple of friends are planning to make a ladies' nite in a few weeks. it is to commemorate the 15th day of av. it is the 'Sadie Hawkins' day for religious female Jews. it comes a few days after a grueling fast day on Sunday. we are planning a mini concert and finger food buffet. I am probably going to make some more sangria. all we need is to bring in a crowd. that is not easy here in zefat.
living up here in the boonies is not easy. people cannot commit to the 10 minute bus ride. I usually pay people to come here. I am not doing much for the evening. i'm through with organizing and publicizing events. I am pretty much through with everything these days except for food.
I would like to ask my readers to write and email to the mayor of zefat encouraging him to straighten out the business with the animal shelter. if he would hear from people in America it would really turn him around. please drop an email to mayor shochat < Ilan@zefat.muni.il> let him know that you follow life in zefat on zelda's blog.
Friday, July 10, 2015
Gone Fishing.
it is 1:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. I have the little kids watching 'Jim jam' while I blog. it is really hot outside. I made them a kiddie pool a little while ago. I did most of my cooking for Shabbat already. I still have the salads to make as the fish cooks. I don't think i'll wash the floors today.
I had the week off from dealing with the kids. I truly crashed from taking care of them full time. I was not a happy camper when I heard that they weren't going to day camps this summer. the Sephardi grandmother offered to have them this week. they went out of town for a couple of days to a family wedding. I got lucky and didn't attend because Ashkenazim do not celebrate simchas during the traditional 'three weeks' of mourning.
I found it a bit eerie to be alone in the house. I binge watched 6 seasons of 'Sex and the City'. I think I lost touch with reality. I didn't leave the house for days. I did make a shiva call to a middle aged married couple who lost their nearly 100 year old parent/mother-in-law. that is the third elderly parent to have died in the course of a few days. they do say that these things tend to come in threes.
the kids told me yesterday that they would be 'coming' for Shabbat. I called my son in the late afternoon to ask him if they had made plans for Shabbat. of course, they were planning to eat here. the Sephardi grandma is going away for Shabbat. I had to turn off 'sex in the city' and get dressed and go to the large super market. I bought a few veggies, a watermelon and some chicken bottoms and fillet of salmon on sale. I grabbed a hand full of the remaining charity money and ran.
my son wanted me to babysit for the kids while he and wifey went to a bar mitzvah. luckily, I returned home late from the supermarket. the kids got one of the Sephardi sisters to take care of the kids. I was very relieved. I did not want to be downstairs last night with the kids. I went to bed late but got up feeling refreshed. I made a cheesecake first thing this morning. I guess I felt guilty about not wanting to be with the kids this week.
I spent about a hundred dollars at the supermarket. I have been requiring the kids to buy the veggies for Shabbat lately but yesterday there was no time. I only bought about 5 potatoes and made a small potato kugel loaf. I also bought two fillets of Nile perch because the daughter-in-law doesn't like fillet of salmon. I cooked them together and I hope it won't ruin the taste of the perch.
I made about 6 pieces of chicken in a spicy sauce and threw in turkey meatballs to stretch the meal. I don't know if it will be enough for tonight and tomorrow. I don't really feel like cooking any more. I usually fry up chicken cutlets on Friday so the kids eat when they come home from work. I didn't buy bread crumbs nor did I defrost the cutlets. let them eat cake! cheesecake, that is.
Aftermath: it is 4:30 p.m. and the kids just called to ask if I had challah. I forgot that Sephardi grandma was going away for Shabbat. she supplies us with challah rolls every week. thank goodness I had 5 challah rolls in freezer. I don't think there is a bakery open now and I doubt there are any challahs to be had.
I had the week off from dealing with the kids. I truly crashed from taking care of them full time. I was not a happy camper when I heard that they weren't going to day camps this summer. the Sephardi grandmother offered to have them this week. they went out of town for a couple of days to a family wedding. I got lucky and didn't attend because Ashkenazim do not celebrate simchas during the traditional 'three weeks' of mourning.
I found it a bit eerie to be alone in the house. I binge watched 6 seasons of 'Sex and the City'. I think I lost touch with reality. I didn't leave the house for days. I did make a shiva call to a middle aged married couple who lost their nearly 100 year old parent/mother-in-law. that is the third elderly parent to have died in the course of a few days. they do say that these things tend to come in threes.
the kids told me yesterday that they would be 'coming' for Shabbat. I called my son in the late afternoon to ask him if they had made plans for Shabbat. of course, they were planning to eat here. the Sephardi grandma is going away for Shabbat. I had to turn off 'sex in the city' and get dressed and go to the large super market. I bought a few veggies, a watermelon and some chicken bottoms and fillet of salmon on sale. I grabbed a hand full of the remaining charity money and ran.
my son wanted me to babysit for the kids while he and wifey went to a bar mitzvah. luckily, I returned home late from the supermarket. the kids got one of the Sephardi sisters to take care of the kids. I was very relieved. I did not want to be downstairs last night with the kids. I went to bed late but got up feeling refreshed. I made a cheesecake first thing this morning. I guess I felt guilty about not wanting to be with the kids this week.
I spent about a hundred dollars at the supermarket. I have been requiring the kids to buy the veggies for Shabbat lately but yesterday there was no time. I only bought about 5 potatoes and made a small potato kugel loaf. I also bought two fillets of Nile perch because the daughter-in-law doesn't like fillet of salmon. I cooked them together and I hope it won't ruin the taste of the perch.
I made about 6 pieces of chicken in a spicy sauce and threw in turkey meatballs to stretch the meal. I don't know if it will be enough for tonight and tomorrow. I don't really feel like cooking any more. I usually fry up chicken cutlets on Friday so the kids eat when they come home from work. I didn't buy bread crumbs nor did I defrost the cutlets. let them eat cake! cheesecake, that is.
Aftermath: it is 4:30 p.m. and the kids just called to ask if I had challah. I forgot that Sephardi grandma was going away for Shabbat. she supplies us with challah rolls every week. thank goodness I had 5 challah rolls in freezer. I don't think there is a bakery open now and I doubt there are any challahs to be had.
Monday, June 29, 2015
School's Out For Summer Again
it is 6:00 p.m. in the hoy city of zefat. it is hard to believe that the schools already end tomorrow. my grandchildren are still not signed up for day camp. I am actually going on a job interview tomorrow. it is a part time office position. I am truly not up for it but I am going to see it through. I haven't worked in an office in over a decade and I am not truly computer literate.
I can email and blog. that's about it. I once worked on word and excel but that was a long time ago. for the past 15 years I worked as a caregiver. I took care of both of my parents until their deaths and then raised my grandson for two years. I was finally out of the house after ten years and got a job cooking in a yeshiva. that was nearly 3 years ago. I got cervical cancer and I underwent the traditional treatment. I survived. it's been a long haul and I'm still not back to myself. I am cancer free and just turned 64. I have turned myself into a virtual shut in.
I hardly ever go to town. I leave town 2-3 times a year to go to a hospital in tel aviv. I hardly get dressed. I spend almost every afternoon with my grandchildren. I get to visit a friend in the neighborhood once a week. I spend most of my time in bed watching reality shows. I don't read the news. I never check my bank balance or pick up my mail. I recently got into a real financial pickle. I had to beg friends and family members to bail me out. I have made some really disastrous financial mistakes since my mom passed away 6 years ago.
I have pretty much hit rock bottom financially. unfortunately, I am in good company here. these are supposed to be the golden years, right? my brother, the psychologist, wired me a few bucks and then launched into a rather long motivational speech about making tough choices. the biggie is getting my son to pay me rent. that's a huge one. another one is to go back into public housing. that ship left the port years ago. I have been struggling to hold onto my house for the past 6 years. is it wrong to want to remain in one's own home of 15 years. is it unreasonable to want to keep one's home for the future?
I was admonished for making Shabbat meals every week when I cannot really afford to. I have sold all of my gold jewelry and taken out bank loans to pay for Pessach and Rosh Hashanna food expenses. I get it. I can not take out any more loans. I can not write out any more supermarket checks, either. the kids must contribute. they must supply some food some of the time. it is a harsh reality not to be able to feed your loved ones. so I am going to look for a part time job. I will probably earn enough money to buy some food for Shabbat. whoopee!
this is the age when a lot of people retire. this is not the age that people return to the work field. it isn't the age to babysit grandchildren every day either. I blew my inheritance on the kids. I cannot get an income from the downstairs apartment because the kids are living there rent free. they had a failed business venture which left them financially crippled, which in turn, left me financially crippled. it is truly a vicious cycle. I am an enabler. I know it. everyone tells me that I'm a fool.
my brother's message was to take care of zelda. I don't know what that means. I have been the caregiver for many years. I have never been a recipient of that care giving. I don't know how to take care of myself. I haven't bought a thing for myself in many years. I don't buy new clothes because I have gained a ton of weight. I have gained a lot of weight because I am so frustrated about the financial situation. I was so happy when I worked in the yeshiva. I was treated with so much respect. the young men there, unlike my own son, wanted to engage me in conversation. I was a caregiver once again, but everyone appreciated me. here I am treated as a live in servant.
even the little kids boss me around. I have a lot of hard choices to make. if I get the job, the daughter-in-law will have to find daycare help for the kids. she is quite willing to pay a stranger to watch the kids but compensating me for my time is anathema to her. the times they are a changing!! I will have to leave the house a few times a week. right now I go to town once a month and sometimes less. we will just have to see what happens tomorrow. hopefully, she'll get the kids into a day camp tomorrow and i'll get a new job. stranger things have happened.
I can email and blog. that's about it. I once worked on word and excel but that was a long time ago. for the past 15 years I worked as a caregiver. I took care of both of my parents until their deaths and then raised my grandson for two years. I was finally out of the house after ten years and got a job cooking in a yeshiva. that was nearly 3 years ago. I got cervical cancer and I underwent the traditional treatment. I survived. it's been a long haul and I'm still not back to myself. I am cancer free and just turned 64. I have turned myself into a virtual shut in.
I hardly ever go to town. I leave town 2-3 times a year to go to a hospital in tel aviv. I hardly get dressed. I spend almost every afternoon with my grandchildren. I get to visit a friend in the neighborhood once a week. I spend most of my time in bed watching reality shows. I don't read the news. I never check my bank balance or pick up my mail. I recently got into a real financial pickle. I had to beg friends and family members to bail me out. I have made some really disastrous financial mistakes since my mom passed away 6 years ago.
I have pretty much hit rock bottom financially. unfortunately, I am in good company here. these are supposed to be the golden years, right? my brother, the psychologist, wired me a few bucks and then launched into a rather long motivational speech about making tough choices. the biggie is getting my son to pay me rent. that's a huge one. another one is to go back into public housing. that ship left the port years ago. I have been struggling to hold onto my house for the past 6 years. is it wrong to want to remain in one's own home of 15 years. is it unreasonable to want to keep one's home for the future?
I was admonished for making Shabbat meals every week when I cannot really afford to. I have sold all of my gold jewelry and taken out bank loans to pay for Pessach and Rosh Hashanna food expenses. I get it. I can not take out any more loans. I can not write out any more supermarket checks, either. the kids must contribute. they must supply some food some of the time. it is a harsh reality not to be able to feed your loved ones. so I am going to look for a part time job. I will probably earn enough money to buy some food for Shabbat. whoopee!
this is the age when a lot of people retire. this is not the age that people return to the work field. it isn't the age to babysit grandchildren every day either. I blew my inheritance on the kids. I cannot get an income from the downstairs apartment because the kids are living there rent free. they had a failed business venture which left them financially crippled, which in turn, left me financially crippled. it is truly a vicious cycle. I am an enabler. I know it. everyone tells me that I'm a fool.
my brother's message was to take care of zelda. I don't know what that means. I have been the caregiver for many years. I have never been a recipient of that care giving. I don't know how to take care of myself. I haven't bought a thing for myself in many years. I don't buy new clothes because I have gained a ton of weight. I have gained a lot of weight because I am so frustrated about the financial situation. I was so happy when I worked in the yeshiva. I was treated with so much respect. the young men there, unlike my own son, wanted to engage me in conversation. I was a caregiver once again, but everyone appreciated me. here I am treated as a live in servant.
even the little kids boss me around. I have a lot of hard choices to make. if I get the job, the daughter-in-law will have to find daycare help for the kids. she is quite willing to pay a stranger to watch the kids but compensating me for my time is anathema to her. the times they are a changing!! I will have to leave the house a few times a week. right now I go to town once a month and sometimes less. we will just have to see what happens tomorrow. hopefully, she'll get the kids into a day camp tomorrow and i'll get a new job. stranger things have happened.
Friday, June 19, 2015
Friday Afternoon June 2015
it is 5:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. I am taking a break to blog. the food is on the electric platter and all the salads are in the fridge. candle lighting is not until 7:30 p.m. it isn't often that I'm finished with the food preparations so early. I started at 6:00 a.m. I woke up and immediately washed the kitchen floor.
I thought I had to go to my grandson's end of year party at the gan at 9:00 a.m. I quickly prepared a package of chicken wings and bottoms with sweet chili sauce and threw them on the electric grill. I then made a pot of mashed potatoes and a small pot of cooked wheat. I wanted to make a mashed potato kugel with mushrooms because everyone here loves mushrooms. my Shabbat guest doesn't eat mushrooms but loves mashed potatoes so I left it at that. I made a raw beet salad and a raw carrot and peanut salad because the daughter-in-law loves them.
I've stopped cooking beets. I now bake them in tin foil. the taste is just the same and there's less of a clean up. I got tired of my counter being splattered in beet juice. I've also stopped hand grating the beets and carrots. that's right, I use a mini food processor. the texture is a bit strange but it's pretty fast. I even threw in the cabbage to make a slaw.
when I found out that I was not obligated to get dressed and leave the house, I made some more dishes. I made some St. peter's fish fillets and a couple of slices of tuna in a spicy Moroccan tomato sauce. I couldn't get cilantro so I used parsley. I then made a chicken stir fry because I didn't feel like making any more fried cutlets. I was completely schnitzeled out this week.
I didn't have any peppers for the stir fry because I used the last one in the fish sauce so I used a tiny hot pepper. I sautéed an onion and two carrots and ended up throwing in some canned mushrooms. I didn't want to use any more sweet chili sauce so I added a bit of tumeric, garlic, cumin, allspice and coriander and some tomato paste. it was very hot so I added some apple juice concentrate to give it some sweetness. I just didn't feel like running to the store to buy a teriyaki plum sauce.
I panicked as I reflected on the fact that my Shabbat guest would not eat the stir fry with the mushrooms. I was convinced that there wasn't enough chicken to go around so I pulled out a package of chicken drumsticks and cooked them in a spicy tomato sauce. I think I made too much food but I can always freeze the leftovers. I must say that I enjoy the leftovers. it's a luxury having good food in the fridge. I still have some leftover chili and I will serve some tonight. I need a nap desperately.
I have some fancy birthday cake leftover and a huge box of chocolate tofu ice cream bites for tonight's dessert. I also have a melon and a package of non dairy strawberry-chocolate -vanilla ice cream. we have a store bought cheese strudel and a chocolate yeast cake for the morning. who's better than us?
I thought I had to go to my grandson's end of year party at the gan at 9:00 a.m. I quickly prepared a package of chicken wings and bottoms with sweet chili sauce and threw them on the electric grill. I then made a pot of mashed potatoes and a small pot of cooked wheat. I wanted to make a mashed potato kugel with mushrooms because everyone here loves mushrooms. my Shabbat guest doesn't eat mushrooms but loves mashed potatoes so I left it at that. I made a raw beet salad and a raw carrot and peanut salad because the daughter-in-law loves them.
I've stopped cooking beets. I now bake them in tin foil. the taste is just the same and there's less of a clean up. I got tired of my counter being splattered in beet juice. I've also stopped hand grating the beets and carrots. that's right, I use a mini food processor. the texture is a bit strange but it's pretty fast. I even threw in the cabbage to make a slaw.
when I found out that I was not obligated to get dressed and leave the house, I made some more dishes. I made some St. peter's fish fillets and a couple of slices of tuna in a spicy Moroccan tomato sauce. I couldn't get cilantro so I used parsley. I then made a chicken stir fry because I didn't feel like making any more fried cutlets. I was completely schnitzeled out this week.
I didn't have any peppers for the stir fry because I used the last one in the fish sauce so I used a tiny hot pepper. I sautéed an onion and two carrots and ended up throwing in some canned mushrooms. I didn't want to use any more sweet chili sauce so I added a bit of tumeric, garlic, cumin, allspice and coriander and some tomato paste. it was very hot so I added some apple juice concentrate to give it some sweetness. I just didn't feel like running to the store to buy a teriyaki plum sauce.
I panicked as I reflected on the fact that my Shabbat guest would not eat the stir fry with the mushrooms. I was convinced that there wasn't enough chicken to go around so I pulled out a package of chicken drumsticks and cooked them in a spicy tomato sauce. I think I made too much food but I can always freeze the leftovers. I must say that I enjoy the leftovers. it's a luxury having good food in the fridge. I still have some leftover chili and I will serve some tonight. I need a nap desperately.
I have some fancy birthday cake leftover and a huge box of chocolate tofu ice cream bites for tonight's dessert. I also have a melon and a package of non dairy strawberry-chocolate -vanilla ice cream. we have a store bought cheese strudel and a chocolate yeast cake for the morning. who's better than us?
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Dining In
it is 6:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. tonight is my unofficial birthday party. last night the kids took me out to Tiberius for a fish dinner. everyone was tired and the kids were more interested in their toys than their meals. no one was relaxed and it was not pleasant. it was hot and not at all pleasurable to be by the sea.
the kids spent a fortune and of course, I felt guilty. it wasn't really a celebration. we didn't laugh or even smile. the three year wined throughout the meal for a toy she wanted. everyone was stressed out. no one had a good time. I wanted to treat the kids to a pony ride but their parents were tired and wanted to get back to zefat. I would have loved to have a dessert or something ceremonial for my birthday.
in all fairness, it wasn't really my birthday. tonight is my birthday. I am having a few ladies in that I have never met. a mutual friend invited them to meet me. I've been working all day long to create a party meal. I made a turkey chili that is really not very good. I also stewed some chicken wings which aren't that great, either. I made a pitcher of sangria that isn't so special. I think the cherry liquor gave it a cough medicine like taste. I do have beer on hand if anyone wants.
I made a corn bread which could have been a tad sweeter. I made a salsa and an egg salad to start the meal. I also have a tabouli salad which I just made. a friend returned from the states a little while ago so I invited her to come for dinner. she doesn't eat anything with oil or mayonnaise. I opened up a can of corn. she doesn't eat tomatoes and cucumbers so I only put red pepper in the tabouli. I had wanted to make a guacamole salad but there weren't any avocados in the supermarket. I just fried up a few turkey fingers for starters. I'm tired. I can't imagine hosting anyone .
I sampled the sangria and I feel like I'm going to go to sleep. my daughter-in-law has to work late tonight and my son has a wedding to go to. I can't take on the kids tonight. tonight we're dining in. I fried up a batch of schnitzels for the kids and brought down a coleslaw and corn salad that I made for tonight. who knows if anyone will eat anything. the kids went off to a kid's birthday party. I need to chill out and take a cold shower before the guests arrive.
aftermath: it is now 11:30 p.m. I just finished the dishes. it was a small crowd. we started the meal at 8:30 p.m. a couple of gals came at 7:00 p.m. and we drank sangria until the others came. I put out the turkey fingers and a couple of salads while we schmoozed. the sangria was very tasty. at 6:30 p.m. I added a lot of sugar and squeezed out the juice from the orange slices. that seemed to do the trick. it was a big hit. I had about 5 glasses myself. I wonder how i'll feel tomorrow.
the kids spent a fortune and of course, I felt guilty. it wasn't really a celebration. we didn't laugh or even smile. the three year wined throughout the meal for a toy she wanted. everyone was stressed out. no one had a good time. I wanted to treat the kids to a pony ride but their parents were tired and wanted to get back to zefat. I would have loved to have a dessert or something ceremonial for my birthday.
in all fairness, it wasn't really my birthday. tonight is my birthday. I am having a few ladies in that I have never met. a mutual friend invited them to meet me. I've been working all day long to create a party meal. I made a turkey chili that is really not very good. I also stewed some chicken wings which aren't that great, either. I made a pitcher of sangria that isn't so special. I think the cherry liquor gave it a cough medicine like taste. I do have beer on hand if anyone wants.
I made a corn bread which could have been a tad sweeter. I made a salsa and an egg salad to start the meal. I also have a tabouli salad which I just made. a friend returned from the states a little while ago so I invited her to come for dinner. she doesn't eat anything with oil or mayonnaise. I opened up a can of corn. she doesn't eat tomatoes and cucumbers so I only put red pepper in the tabouli. I had wanted to make a guacamole salad but there weren't any avocados in the supermarket. I just fried up a few turkey fingers for starters. I'm tired. I can't imagine hosting anyone .
I sampled the sangria and I feel like I'm going to go to sleep. my daughter-in-law has to work late tonight and my son has a wedding to go to. I can't take on the kids tonight. tonight we're dining in. I fried up a batch of schnitzels for the kids and brought down a coleslaw and corn salad that I made for tonight. who knows if anyone will eat anything. the kids went off to a kid's birthday party. I need to chill out and take a cold shower before the guests arrive.
aftermath: it is now 11:30 p.m. I just finished the dishes. it was a small crowd. we started the meal at 8:30 p.m. a couple of gals came at 7:00 p.m. and we drank sangria until the others came. I put out the turkey fingers and a couple of salads while we schmoozed. the sangria was very tasty. at 6:30 p.m. I added a lot of sugar and squeezed out the juice from the orange slices. that seemed to do the trick. it was a big hit. I had about 5 glasses myself. I wonder how i'll feel tomorrow.
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