Stormy Weather

it is 8:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  i have been in bed all say; watching movies.  i dozed off a couple of times.  i took the dogs out at 7:00 a.m.   it was raining again and quite cold.  i managed to get them out while it was dry.  the dogs didn't want to be out in the rain, either.  i spent the day eating.  i bought these enormous organic crackers and had them with a poor quality cheese spread.  i think each cracker is 100 calories.  i had 5.

i think i put on a bit of weight.  i made my banana fake ice cream; had two apples with peanut butter and polished off a large bowl of leftover red lentils and carrots.  i think i passed out after i consumed the lentils.  it was just way too much to eat in a short amount of time.  i skipped supper.  i had a couple of teaspoons of peanut butter so i could take my antibiotic.  my tooth is still a bit inflamed.  i didn't cook anything today. 

i wanted to make lentil soup last night.  i threw in an onion and two chopped carrots.  i usually add cumin, curry, turmeric, coriander, ginger, chili flakes and garlic.  yesterday i only added a few pieces of garlic and a nice piece of ginger.  most of the liquid evaporated; leaving me with a pot of mushy lentils and carrots.  it was pretty bland.  that's how i seem to like my food these days.

in the early morning, i watched my favorite Italian grandma, gina, make her lentil and minestrone soups on YouTube.  she doesn't skimp on the pasta and she pours tons of shredded cheese into all of her dishes.  i like my pasta, too, but not all that much in soup.  nonetheless, she is a delight to watch.  she loves to sing in Italian while she waits for the water to boil.  her family is so lucky to have her and all of her marvelous food.  you can actually taste the love she puts into her every dish. 

i went out a little while ago to the local synagogue down the street.  i wrote my father's name on a small piece of paper and asked one of the men to say the mourner's prayer for him.  tonight is the anniversary of his death.  i can't remember how many years it has been.  i could look it up but i am too lazy.  and what difference does it make anyway?  it's about sixteen.years, i think.  i still miss him dearly.  i lit a memorial candle for him.  i am planning on going down to the cemetery in the morning.  i hope it isn't raining hard tomorrow.  i will light a candle at his grave.  i'm not sure if i'll jump on a couple of buses or call a taxi.

i was a devoted daughter and i took care of my father until his dying breath.  i was also with my mom until she passed on.  my father had dementia and i was like his mommy at the end.  he held my hand when we ventured out like a small child.  he didn't remember my name and called me 'big woman'.  he was so uninhibited when he had dementia.  he would sing Sinatra hits outside and in taxis.  he even sang at the clinic.  he would often get up and dance and shake the old booty.  he was the life of the party.  he loved children and often greeted them in the street.  he would wish everyone a good Shabbat every day of the week.  some people thought he was crazy but most others adored him.
his famous expression was 'do what's good for you'.

he was a modest man and i don't think he ever wanted for material goods.  he never complained and he ate whatever was served to him.  we all doted on him.  my mother kept him well fit and taken care of.  he loved her dearly.  he called her Sargent sussman  at the end.  she had been a WAC and an officer in WW2.  he didn't remember her name, either.  he would have been 107 now.