The Party's Over shavuot 2020

it is 11:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  the kids just left a little while ago.  what a holiday was had; here at Zelda's place.  it was the first time the entire clan slept here since the wedding, nearly 11 years ago.  we had the addition of 8 children aged 10 years to 6 months old and we had 4 dogs here, too.  what a whirlwind affair.  and of course; the youngsters took over all three floors.  yes, we had screaming and running around on all three floors for all 3 days straight.

this afternoon, there were blood curdling screams from 4 of the older kids as they came running down the steps from the rooftop apartment.  i can only say that, i now know what a heart attack must feel like.  apparently, there was a small scorpion upstairs and the kids all panicked and freaked out.  it sounded like someone had been murdered.  my heart was thumping for over an hour. 

when one of the fathers came home from synagogue; he took care of it.  the Sephardic mom sprayed insect repellent to knock the thing out.   i don't know if the scorpion was killed or just transported.  i will never forget this moment.  most of the time the kids were outside in the yard riding scooters.  there was always a fight for a particular one.  the little 2 1/2 year old girl kept up with her older cousins.  kids were in and out of my house all the time.  it drove me nuts.  i was afraid that my male dog would get out and attack the sister's male dog downstairs.

today my male dog did get out and did enter the backyard and i screamed at the kids like a crazy woman.  i was able to get him back upstairs before the other male dog came outside.  who knows?  maybe they would have hit it off but i didn't want the kids to witness a dog fight, either.  it was a large strain on my nerves.  i live alone.  i am not used to kids running around anymore or a lot of noise.  i am not used to people either.  there were 14 adults and 12 of them slept downstairs with 5 of the children.  I've been self quarantining here for months.  i haven't even seen this many people.

my son and family slept upstairs in my house.  the kids slept with me on mattresses on the floor.  i let go of all of my corona fears and kissed them and hugged them and cried when i saw them.  i held my baby grandson in my arms and spoke to him in English and kissed him a hundred times.  i then realized that so did another 13 people.  i retired to my home after lunch today and slept for most of the day.  i was zonked.  i was also sugared out.  i hit the tiramisu pretty hard.  i made it the traditional way and i strategically, omitted the whipped cream and added wine instead of brandy.  it was not a big hit.  i also hit the lasagna.  i was looking pretty trim for a moment.  i will start my no sugar regimen again tomorrow.  there isn't anything left in the fridge to tempt me.

as much as i overate, i managed to do my nightly fast for at least 12 hours.  i went to synagogue on Friday morning.  i was able to slip out while the kids slept.  they had their entire family downstairs to go to and i was free.  there were only about 8 ladies at the synagogue.  we all wore masks and sat  properly, distanced from one another.  no one hugged.  it was impossible to breathe, and pray in a mask.  my glasses kept on steaming up.  it was very strange to be back after a 3 month corona break.  i didn't make it there this morning.  i was too tired.  i didn't really do much but i was constantly bombarded with requests for things and people and kids were traipsing in and out all of the time.

my granddaughter suddenly became very sad and at the end of the holiday started to cry.  she didn't want to go home.  she said she wanted to live in my home in safed.  i felt my heart being ripped out.  i don't know when i can visit them.  i have no one to watch my dogs and i don't know when i will feel safe travelling on public busses.  i had to calm my grandson down a couple of times.  he is always being accused of doing something to the other children.  he kept saying that he was never coming back to safed.  i know that it was better for my son and his family in Jerusalem before the corona outbreak but i worry so much for their financial survival now.

no one knows what is going to be.  we have to be diligent and pray more.

Feels Like A Holiday

it is 5:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  the house is clean, the cheesecake and tiramisu are in the fridge and the lasagna is cooling off.  i had some chocolate coffee liquid leftover from the tiramisu and i turned it into mini 'mud' cakes, muffin size; by adding a couple of eggs, two cups of oat flour, a large banana and a hand full of frozen cherries.  it does have some low alcohol wine and sugar in it.  i am already feeling its effects.

i broke my nightly 14 hour fast by tasting the tiramisu at every step and the cheesecake. i had a couple of spoonsful of sugared whipped cream and about 4 mini raviolis.   i just has a mini mud cake.  oh my goodness!  after a year without sugar and chocolate, i am flying high.  i am not going to partake of any cake tomorrow.  i might have some pasta but i am not doing cakes.

i am waiting anxiously for the kids to arrive.  i think i accomplished what i wanted to do today.  i have been at it since early morning.  i just placed sprigs of rosemary and myrtle around the house.  it definitely looks and smells like shavout.  i'm sure by tomorrow everything will be dry and wilted but for now i can enjoy them.

i tried to make pancakes with the leftover tiramisu chocolate coffee mixture but they failed terribly.  i was going to toss it all when i decided to make muffins out of it.  i added a greek yogurt and it worked and they are fine.  all is well with the world for a moment. happy holiday! and Shabbat shalom!

Shavuot Countdown Rona 2020

it is 10:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  i just took the dogs out for their last stroll.  i don't think they really wanted to go out.  i took them  at 6:00 p.m. and they seemed to  have done their 'business'.  i did very little today.  i ran to the supermarket to buy dog food.  i got some corn crackers and some chicken that was half priced.  when i got back i went upstairs to clean the porch.  it was loaded with pigeon poop.  yes, they have returned.  i tightened the mesh wherever i found a gap.  perhaps, they will stay away until after the holiday. i threw buckets of soapy water all over the place.  it looks clean.

as it stands, the entire clan is coming for the holiday and Shabbat.  we will be fourteen adults and 8 children and 4 dogs.  what was i thinking?  i am not doing a lot of cooking for this bunch.  i am making one 9x11" lasagna, 4 small packages of prepared mini ravioli, a greek salad, one Israeli cheesecake and one tiramisu.  i am also making a fruit platter with two types of grapes, cherries, peaches, apricots, pears and apples.  after all, this is the holiday of new fruits.   i bought several types of assorted cheeses.

the Sephardi mom is the one who's cooking for this clan.  the sisters will bring some more pasta dishes for Friday's day meal.  i had wanted to buy prizes for all of the kids today but i ran out of options, cash and patience.  i have a few toys for my grandkids that i bought for pesach.  if they want they can share the chocolate surprise eggs with their cousins.  the upstairs apartment is the perfect hideout to get away from the clan.   it is really lovely on the porch.  one could hole up there and never be missed.

i mopped the master bedroom floor and cleaned the bathroom.  i made up the little crib.  i put away all of my clothes and set an outfit out in another bedroom.  i left a bouquet of picked wild roses, lavender and rosemary.  i also mopped the blog room floor, and the 'blue' bedroom floor.  i dusted a lot.  i made a cheesecake, a little while ago,  for my friends.  it is in the fridge. i agonized over not having found blueberry pie filling but the comfiture worked just fine.  it was also better quality.  i sure hope they like the cake.  i will call her husband to pick it up in the morning.

i had a hunk of goat cheese for supper.  that leaves one less piece of cheese for the holiday.  i have still have a round of camembert, a danish blue cheese, a hunk of pesto gouda and a goat cheese.  i will make the lasagna tomorrow and the cheesecake and tiramisu.  i will also make up the beds up here.  i need to mop the t.v. area floor, the kitchen and dining room floors and the living room floor.  i am not going wild with the buckets of water.  i will just do a quick wet mop. 

i spent a good deal of the day in bed.  i just passed out.  i got up in the late afternoon and started cleaning the master bedroom.  i am pretty tired now.  i am still thinking about making oat flour banana pancakes for Friday morning's Kiddush; before we have the dairy meal.  we'll see how it goes in the morning.   i hope i'll have more energy tomorrow.  the house is basically clean and orderly.  i'll call it a night and watch some t.v.

The Plan

it is 8:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  it is warming up and i'm  praying that it won't be excessively hot for the holiday.  i took the dogs out at 7:00 a.m.  i didn't want to get up but the dogs kind of nudged me.  i picked some small roses for the table.  they will probably dry out by tomorrow night but i don't really care.  it is customary to cut greens and hang them on the walls.

i have a plan of action this morning.  i will go back to the supermarket in a moment.  i need to buy dog food.  i saw a game yesterday and i think i will buy it for my granddaughter.  the post office for registered mail moved from the bakery to the lotto store.  i had to pick up some mail for my friend who is still stuck in California.  i saw that they took over the dog food from the pet store that went under before the rona.  it was a bit expensive and high end for my dogs.

i want to wash the floors this morning.  i don't think that i will have the strength to use buckets of water.  i think i will have to use a wet schemata today.   it is a bit alarming how terribly tired i feel.  i think i get this way every summer.  i want to make the tiramisu today.  it is better when it sits for a couple of days.  i'll tackle the lasagna and Israeli cheesecake tomorrow.  the kids are coming tomorrow.  i don't know what to expect.  i haven't seen them in months. i hope the baby doesn't cry when i hold him.  i made the graham cracker like pie crust yesterday for my friend's cheesecake.  it is in the freezer.  i am debating whether to bake the cheesecake today or wait until tomorrow.

i am only in charge of the holiday afternoon dairy meal on Friday morning.  it will be a combined effort.  i bought four assorted packages of mini ravioli.  i have spinach and cheese, sweet potato, and plain cheese.  i don't know if i should mix them all together or put them into separate pans.  i usually just top them with olive oil and parmesan.  i used to make two types of sauces.  i would do a tomato sauce and i would do a sour cream mushroom sauce.  somehow, i stopped bothering.  everyone seemed happy without a sauce.  someone from the Sephardi clan will probably make pasta and mushroom sauce.

i  am also making a greek salad.  i am doing it a bit differently this time.  i want to make a bed of baby spinach leaves and arugula.  i will add chopped cucumbers and cherry tomatoes and top it off with black olives and red onion and feta cheese.  voila!!  i don't know what to serve them when they arrive.  i have some tuna in the pantry.  i might have some eggs leftover to make omelets. i was toying with the idea of making my banana and oat flour greek yogurt pancakes.  i have real maple syrup in the closet.  i would do it tomorrow.

the Sephardi mom will make the evening meat meal and the 3 Shabbat meals.  i will be a guest for three meals.  it is going to get intense.  i ant to pick more roses and lavender.  i will place some in the bedrooms.  i will buy some crackers or fresh bread for when they come.  i have potato chips, corn flakes and chocolate kinder surprise eggs for the kids.  i have marvel dolls for my grandson and lol dolls for the granddaughter.  i bought them before pesach.  i am really anxious. 

there are going to be 4 dogs in the house for three days.  my kid's dog is actually the size of a large rat.  she gets along quite well with my small girl dog.  tiny, the male dog is a bully.  he has become the alpha male.  the male dog downstairs is afraid of his own shadow and highly nervous.  he has been known to bite a grandchild or two.  tiny doesn't bite people.  he has a bad reputation because he chases people and comes off as aggressive.  he has become huge.  i found him when he was a tiny puppy, hence his name. 

Let's Call The Whole Thing Off

it is 7:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  my eyes hurt.  i took the dogs out at 6:00 a.m. this morning and it was not freezing.  i changed into a jeans skirt and light sweater and wore a fleece jacket.  there were loads of cows this morning out in the field at the end of the street.  two were climbing pretty close to the street.  they were huge.  someone had ridden a horse down the path that we walk and it was filled with manure.  the small dog put some in her mouth.  my dog in America used to roll in cow's dung.

i went to the supermarket right after i took the dogs back.  i needed to finish my holiday shopping.  ii managed to get everything on my list.  i bought more diary to make a nice cheesecake for my friends.  i couldn't find the blueberry pie filling there so i bought some good jam.  if they had stocked the frozen berries i could have made my own filling but they didn't have any.  we new Yorkers like our cheesecake topped with cherry or blueberry pie filling.  my Sephardi daughter-in-law wouldn't go for it so i make the Israeli version of cheesecake with a 5% fat free cheese spread and vanilla instant pudding.

israelis love this cheesecake.  one year i decided to use chocolate pudding and it didn't even get served.  another time i used a caramel favored pudding and it was totally acceptable.  so much for diversity.  i was hoping to find a good French vanilla pudding but i had no such luck today and i'm not eating it, anyway.  the cake does get topped with whipped cream.  i used to put whipping cream in my cakes and now it is a topping.  in new York, we always made a sour cream topping.  that was then, this is now.  Israelis don't have the best palate's.

i have a good friend who loves her rich desserts.  she always made fun of the low fat pudding cheese cakes that i presented.  somehow, she more or less, approved of this Israeli cheesecake.  it does have a 27% fat content sour cream.  i use mascarpone cheese for the tiramisu.  that's 40% fat.  i found cheese that was 25% to make the cake for my friends.  i hope it turns out well.  i have been hitting the cheese, hard lately.  my stomach is very distended.

i took a bus this morning to the bank near my home.  i didn't have my magnetic senior's bus card and the driver wouldn't take my 2 shekels.  apparently, they passed a law that you can't pay with money anymore in safed.  i know that in Jerusalem i got into trouble each time i had the kids with me.  one bus driver actually, tried to throw us off the buss one time.  i didn't feel like going all the way to town to fill up my card.  the bus was filthy and the windows were badly stained.  i felt ill.  it was the first time in months that i got on a bus.

i went to the health food store to buy some more chai tea.  i was all out and it appeared that they were, too.  i felt so defeated.  this is my pleasure in life these days.  it used to be coffee. luckily, the store manager found a few boxes for me.  i usually buy them in bulk even though they are very pricey.  once, i loved going to outdoor cafés in town to have a designer coffee but that was a long time ago.  most of us decided that it was a waste of our money.

i wanted to buy real almond extract.  they were all out of it.  they did have the vanilla.  i just bought a small bottle of the McCormick American vanilla extract at my local supermarket.  it was quite expensive.   i paid nearly $10 for an ounce bottle.  the Israeli imitation extracts are awful and sickening.  i once liked the rum flavored one but haven't used it in ages.  i need my extracts.  i put them in my muffin mix, and in my fake banana ice cream and shakes and in my plain yogurts and in my hot chocolate.  they enable me to stay away from sugar.  i added a fair amount of the almond extract to the tiramisu last year and it tasted just like marzipan. not everyone appreciated it.  i thought it was my best tiramisu to date.

they had a coffee extract but i didn't buy it.  now i'm thinking that it would have been a great addition and a good substitute for the coffee liquor.  oh well....  i can always throw in a shot of brandy or some low alcohol sweet wine.  i have an anise flavored extract but i think it will not go well with the sweet cheese.  maybe i can sample some.  i am afraid of tasting the tiramisu.  i am not the kind of person who can eat one serving of cake, or ice cream or chocolate.  last year i resisted having any during the holiday and as soon as it was over, i binged ate the entire remains of the cake.

there were quite a few people waiting outside of the bank, which is a few feet away from the health food store.  i wasn't so pleased.  i needed to get my balance.  there was only one person ahead of me near the machines.  afterwards, i was tempted to go to the large supermarket to check if they had blueberries but i didn't want to risk it.  i did enter the large pharmacy and i regretted doing it immediately.  what was i thinking???? didn't i remember that sick people go to the pharmacy to buy meds?.  i  just wanted to check out the toys there. i needed a gift for the one year old.  i left without buying one and i was there for a really long time.  i might return tomorrow.

i walked home.  i walked rather slowly.  i never really picked up the pace.  everything hurt.  my right leg was cramping up and my right eye was burning.  i passed a baby horse and it's mom in an enclosed area.  he was so darn cute.  i wanted to give him the organic apple that i had bought at the health food store.  when i was at the supermarket the apples didn't appeal to me but they really called out to me in the health food store. i wanted to buy dates but i left without buying any.  i had some figs at home.  i stopped off at my friend before i went home.  i had a snack and tea and broke my 18 hour nightly fast.

i just spoke to the Sephardi mom.  they were planning on going back to their home for the holiday.  i had thought that it would be problematic to have two male dogs in the house.  one of the daughters has a male dog.  i was afraid that if my male got out we might have a bit of bloodshed.  so all the plans got switched.  i was afraid that i would have to walk to Canaan and return home late at night to see the grandkids.  i thought all 6 kids and 2 babies would be trapped in that apartment with no where to run.  there is a playground across the street but in pandemic it is not ideal.

they were going to break up the holiday with the kids coming to me for a day and i vetoed it.  i decided to stick it out with the dogs and be super vigilant.  this way i can see the kids each day and not have to walk to a different neighborhood.  the daughter-in-law gets to be with her whole family for three days and i can run upstairs if i need to rest or escape the noise.  i hope it will be a win-win and i hope it will all work out.  the dining space downstairs is much smaller than theirs but there is a huge backyard and room for the kids to play and ride their carts.  and of course, there are toys here for the grandkids to play with.

i was getting aggravated because i had spent a fortune on cheese products and i was afraid that i wouldn't get to use them.  i was even thinking of freezing everything.  i think this is the best solution.  if my son gets antsy, he can sleep upstairs in the roof top apartment.  my grandkids will get to be with their entire family and i'll be around for the whole time.  in the past, we split up holidays and shabbats but i think we all have gotten past that now.  after all, they have been living downstairs for a few months now.  i hope this will benefit everyone.  i hope i haven't made it harder for myself.

Now What? Play By Play Weather Report

It is 9:30 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  i am breaking my 12 hour nightly fast with a toasted pita.  i decided to have a lox sandwich with some Philadelphia cream cheese.  i actually bought it for the holiday of Shavuot; which falls out on Thursday night but i decided to treat myself to something special.  i have never before seen Philadelphia cream cheese with the appropriate kashrut certification here in safed.

i have been searching for cheesecake and tiramisu recipes since i woke up.  it is freezing.  after about two weeks of an excruciating heat wave; it turned cool.  i took the dogs out on Saturday morning and had to wear a sweater.  it went from temperatures of high 90's to mid 70's in what felt like, just a moment.  this morning we had a rainstorm of some intensity and the temperatures dropped to the 60's.  once again, my house was cold.  i slept with a woolen blanket.

on Friday i started to open up some windows to get some air. i had several fans going.  it was just bearable but the house was still very uncomfortable.  on Saturday morning, i opened up all of my windows to let the cool air in.  by nightfall the house was no longer a sauna.  on Saturday night i had to close some of the windows because it was getting really cold.  this morning i had to shut all of the windows because it was raining inside.

now the sun is out and the sky is so very blue.  and now the sky is covered in clouds and it looks like another storm is on the way.  i managed to take the dogs out for a quick run around 7:30 a.m.   we didn't go all that far and we avoided any grassy areas because it was full of mud.  i even put on my rain boots.  i had made plans to go to town this morning.  i don't think i'll chance it now.  i started to get a cold last night.  this is so very unsettling.

two of my daughter-in-law's sisters came on Shabbat with their 4 children.  one sister and family stayed over.  the kids were like penned in animals let out of a cage.  they hadn't been outside to play in months.  they got to ride scooters downstairs and they were elated.  the weather was marvelous.  i went to my friend's in the morning and sat on her porch while her husband read the torah portion.  it was nice to be outside.  i have been holed up in the house during the heat wave.

i joined the family downstairs after lunch and schmoozed for a few hours.  the kids were all outside playing.  i brought down a lot of my kids' puzzles, leggo and toys.  the kids wanted to investigate what i had upstairs but i didn't want the dogs to get out so i didn't let them come in. they have been here with my grandkids loads of times but his was the first time they came by themselves.  i had bought some gifts for them before the quarantine but i didn't manage to give them out before they left.

my friend stopped by in the early evening and i went back to her house.  i read some psalms and came home before Shabbat ended.  it was getting really cold.  i was exhausted.  i did, practically, nothing and yet i was very tired.  i got into a warm house dress and ended my shabbat.  i didn't hear the families leave at night.  i was on the computer looking up holiday recipes.

4:00 p.m. update:  just went out for a quick walk with dogs.  i wore my heavy winter coat.  it is sunny, breezy and very cool. i thought about doing a supermarket run but i will stay in.  i am very tired and am staying in bed today.  i just saw a couple dozen cows in the valley at the end of my street.  many of them were lying down.  to my recollection, this was a first for me.  who knew?  i also saw a tiny baby calf walking with his elders.  how enchanting!

Getting Cool

it is 7:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  candle lighting is in a few minutes.  fresh flowers are on the table and the food is on the electric platter on a timer.  the house is still pretty uncomfortable but it is getting cooler.  they predict temperatures in the mid 70's.  that's pretty amazing considering that we've had 93 degree heat for about two weeks.

yesterday i took advantage of the family downstairs being away.  i did some laundry and i dragged down a closet two flights.  i collected all of the packages of foods and about twenty pounds of potatoes and put it on the shelves.  i collected another bamboo closet and mounted all of the pots and pans that were lying on the floor.  i was worried that i might offend the Sephardi grandma but she was very thankful.

it was incredibly hot and i was completely wasted.  i was glad that i didn't go to hadera for the birthday party.  they didn't come back until midnight. although; i would have loved to see the kids; i wouldn't have lasted a 12 hour day out away from home and the dogs.

i made a simple meal.  i potted chicken wings with carrots and sweet potatoes and added chickpeas.  i also made a very course chumus sans tahini.  i broiled a small fillet of salmon and grated raw beets and carrots.  i managed to bake banana oat flour muffins.  they taste exactly like banana bread except they aren't sweet.  i shopped for Shavuot and ended up spending a true fortune on cheeses.

i decided to make a lasagna, greek salad, grapes and cheese platter, tiramisu and cheesecake for the holiday.  i also bought lox and herring and Philadelphia cream cheese.  the sky's the limit.  i don't know exactly how this holiday/Shabbat will play out but i am taking it easy.  i lugged up the baby crib and we'll just have to wait to see where everyone decides to sleep.  i prefer having just my immediate family upstairs with me.

Less Is More

it is 11:30 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  i got up at 6:00 a.m. and took the dogs out.  i broke my nightly fast of 12 hours and had some salmon.  i then had a banana, peach and strawberry shake.  i just had some peanut butter.  i hope that it will hold me for awhile.  it is still hot outside and very uncomfortable inside my home.  it is a real sauna.

i went downstairs to the first floor apartment.  it is lovely and cool.  some of it is underground.  my place is just miserable.  i took a short walk last night with my friend at around 7:00 p.m.  there was a cool breeze.  it didn't last that long.  i sat on a bench near the synagogue talking with the Sephardi grandma.  she had tons of things to do that night.  i called a friend and schmoozed.  i later took the dogs out around 11:00 p.m. and it was nice and airy.  i watched television until i passed out.

the Sephardi family is going to hadera today for their grandson's first birthday.  i was invited and had a ride.  i declined.  it wasn't because of the virus.  it was the heat.  i couldn't deal with being gone all day and being confined in one place with so many people.  hadera is usually hotter than safed and more himid.  my kids will be going there, for sure.  that's family, Sephardi style.  i admire it from a distance. 

the whole clan may be descending on my home on Shavuot.  i am expecting a crowd.  the Sephardi mom will prepare all the food for a 3 day holiday/Shabbat.  i will buy some fruit and cheese and possibly, a couple of packages of ravioli.  i might join the crowd in the evenings but i will stay up here for the day meals.  i usually prepare lasagna but the Sephardi grandma made one to take for the birthday party.  Shavuot is less than two weeks away.  no one needs another lasagna.  i was planning on using ricotta and mozzarella rather than the Israeli cottage and yellow semi hard cheese.  whatever....

i will make a tiramisu and a cheesecake.  i'm thinking about getting some Philadelphia cream cheese and lox.  i cannot cope with cooking anymore.  i have a water leak from one of the pipes outside.  i recently had the new part put in by a plumber.  i can't remember when he was last here.  i just called him and he remembered coming here.  who knows how long this has been going on?  my water bill will be huge.  it's always something.  he said he might come later today.  who knows what he will charge?  it isn't a major project.

i have been pulling torah books from my shelves since after pesach.  i am constantly thinking about downsizing.  i, honestly; do not read most of these books anymore.  i read a lot of things online.  i decided to donate them to a local English bookstore.  when i was working, i would taxi over to the store.  i started fantasizing about relocating to Jerusalem and started getting rid of things last year. it was a pleasure knowing that other people would enjoy reading these books.  i have a rule of thumb about clothes hanging in my closets.  if i haven't worn something in over 2 years, i discard it.  so i started to apply the same rule to my bookshelves.

i saw an Englishman on ophrah a few years ago; saying that you can lose pounds off your behind by simply,weeding out things from your closet.  it works.  so does the intermittent fasting; although from what i recently read; i am doing it all wrong.  i eat way too many carbs and not enough fat and protein.  i have very few summer weight clothes and have been schlepping around in the same jumper all week long.  i need to wash it.

i pulled down a set of torah portion commentaries, that i haven't used in ages;  and it started me going for more this morning.  i had megillahs that i don't use and non fiction jewish themed books; that i don't read and many more books.  i was waiting for the heat wave to end to go to town tand bring the books to the store.  i didn't even know if the store had reopened recently.  i got a brainstorm.  why not call the lady from the bookstore to come to me and pick them up?  i found the phone number and left a message.  she just happened to be in the neighborhood and was here in about twenty minutes.  wow!  i feel freer.  i feel lighter..  less is definitely more these days.

i think i'll slip downstairs to do some wash while the family is out of town.  i do very little during this heat wave.  i get up early and fall asleep for hours.  i feel like an old lady.  i am only turning 69 soon.  my mom was super active until her mid 80's.. she made Aliyah then and slowly started going downhill.  she also had serious health issues.  what will be with me???

Like A Hat Wave

it is 7:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  it is 93 degrees and rising.  it is deadly.  people my age have been warned to stay inside.  sound familiar???  i am exhausted.  the house is really hot.  i have an overhead fan going on in the television alcove.   it keeps me alive.  i find that i am passing out a lot.  i wake up during the day in the middle of a movie or series.  i took the dogs out at 6:00 a.m. and thankfully, there was a cool breeze.  i walked over to the nearby supermarket and bought some salmon fillets and a bunch of fruit.

by the time i got home, around 7:00 a.m.; it was already really hot.  i took the dogs out at 4:00 p.m. and they looked really overheated.  we didn't go very far.  last night, my neighbor drove me to the bank.  i wanted to check the balance.  i cannot venture out in this heat.  it was very nice last night at 8:00 p.m.   i was craving strawberries today, but there were none at the supermarket.  i have been trying to watch the calories.  i think i put on a bit of weight lately.

i am drinking a bit of water.  there really isn't anything that calls out to me to eat.  i made a matzah fry for lunch and i had a yogurt and fruit for breakfast.  i just had a couple of non gluten corn crackers with some peanut butter.  i had an early supper of canned tuna, spinach leaves and sliced beets.  i think it is too hot to eat any more tonight.  i will keep drinking.  i feel like a real shmatta.

i have been watching a lot of television and documentaries.  i binge watched the fifth season of 'power' and i saw 'film stars don't die in liverpool'.  that got me watching Gloria Grahame movies and television appearances.   what a wasted life, i lead.  i had a long chat with a friend this morning.  i haven't heard from her in months.  i was covered in sweat after the phone call.  my legs hurt and i'm very uncomfortable.  this is a double whammy; pandemic and heat wave.

safed is pretty virus free.  it's really a mountain village more than a real city.  i haven't seen any preschoolers or kindergarten children on the block.  i take the dogs out at 6:00 a.m. usually and i'm back at home until early evening.  i was thinking about going to get my mail but it is still too hot.  i might head out at around 9:00 p.m. with the dogs.  they are crashed on the cool tile floors.  they are pretty wiped out.  i know they want people food but i am not into doing any more cooking tonight.  they had portions of my matzah fry before.

i should get myself up and showered.  i feel really awful.  i don't have many summer clothes.  I've been wearing the same light weight jeans jumper for days.  i think a cold shower will pick me up.  my head has been throbbing for a couple of hours.  i am in the middle of reading 'eat, pray, love.  it did take me a while to really get into it.  i like her writing style.  it reminds me of my blog.  i never saw the movie.'  i tried to read 'olive Kittredge' after i saw the series recently; but the print was just too small.  i feel like i am not contributing to world humanity or society.  i feel like a sloth.  once it cools down a bit i will get moving.

Too Darn Hot Corona 2020

it is 5:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  it is unbearably hot outside.  the house has warmed up, too.  i have been sleeping for most of the day.  i cannot function in this heat.  i took the dogs out at 6:00 a.m. and i just took them out again, now.  we didn't go far.  they couldn't deal with the heat, either.  i pretty much ate way too much yesterday.  i started my nightly fast at 5:00 p.m.  i haven't had too much to eat today because of the heat.  i have been drinking water throughout the day.

i wanted to do a supermarket run but i am not going back out in this heat until late tonight.  the Sephardi parents are spending Shabbat in the hospital.  the grandpa had another 'episode' and is under observation in the neurological department.  the adult kids will have to fend for themselves.  one of the married sisters will be cooking for them.  they will have to buy challah tomorrow.  she might just bake a cake for them.  they have the option to stay downstairs if they like. it might be cooler than their home.

i am feeling pretty dreadful.  i do not fare well in the heat.  wearing a mask is torturous.  i have had a slight headache all day.  my dental problem is less dire but i still need to see a dentist.  i am just finishing up two rounds of antibiotics.  it is still sore; but not throbbing badly.  i haven't blogged in days.  i have been too tired.

i went over to my friends on Tuesday.  it was a festival of sorts.  there usually is a pilgrimage to meron and an all night event.   hundreds of thousands of people travel from all over the country to pray at the grave of Rabbi shimon bar yochai.  they light fires all over the country and play music.  this year the festival was cancelled and the roads were blocked.  we usually have an overflow of visitors during this time.

we decided to do a modest barbecue.  i brought wings and hot dogs and they had chicken and hamburgers.  my friend's husband doesn't know the first thing about barbecuing.  he did manage to build a good enough fire but i ended up cooking everything.  my friend played music on her Yamaha key board and we drank some wine.  later on; a motorcade parade led by chabad; drove through the neighborhood.  for years; the children marched through the streets chanting psalms.  they always ended up at the local high school for a magic show and raffle.  i took my grandkids on this march with me for a few years.

at night they always had the motorcade, and a show and raffle at the local outside basketball court.  they always ended the night with a giant fire.  this year fires were banned.  it didn't stop the masses of radical ultra orthodox in Jerusalem and bnai brak.  i think some kids lit fires up the street from me.  i stayed inside.  for years i went to watch these fires and i went to meron.  those days are gone for me.  i stopped doing crowds way before the rona.

my kids were hoping to come up to safed for Shabbat but decided to wait until the Sephardi grandfather is back home.  i was excited about seeing the children but i am very relieved that i don't have to clean the house.  it is pretty neat but the floors need a good scrubbing.  the less i have to move, the better.

Feeling Normal

it is 10:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  i just broke my 14 hour nightly fast and had French toast.  the Sephardi grandma gave me leftover challah rolls last nght.  i had told her that i make toast with them.  most Sephardim do not eat leftovers.  the rolls were a bit underdone and one was actually, raw.   i can freeze them now and put them in the oven for a few minutes, next week.  anyway, i got the idea of making French toast.  i added way too much rice milk and they were too soggy to fry up.

i added lots of cinnamon and vanilla but they were still lacking sweetness.  i have real maple syrup in the pantry but i held out from using it.  i added some frozen banana slices and it did the trick.  i read a blog on getting over binge eating.  apparently, it is a real disorder.  i suffered for many years from food binging.  i was at my worst, a couple of years ago; when the kids left safed.   i became obese.  i no longer could recognize myself.  i would eat all day long and well into the wee hours of the morning.  i never felt satiated.

i was becoming desperate.  at one point i considered becoming bulimic.  i told myself that if i was going to consume 10,000 calories a day; i had to get rid of them, somehow.  i am phobic against vomiting so it wasn't really the answer for me.  at the same time, my friend started intermittent fasting and lost a ton of weight.  she isn't a big eater like myself.  nonetheless; i was lucky to inherit her cast off clothes.  i eventually joined her in intermittent fasting and almost a year later; her cast offs are now my castoffs.  I've had to throw them all out because they are way too large for me now.

i was thinking of taking a bus to town and going to a clothes store to buy a skirt.  my friend, who lives in town; keeps me posted about the comings and goings on these days, downtown.  today she told me that the bakery was crowded and carrying on like normal.  no one was checking temperatures at the door or wearing masks, either.  i won't be going to the bakery, any time soon.  the kids went back to school in safed, this morning.  i have a kindergarten and a day care two doors down from me.  i walked the dogs in the opposite direction this morning.  they were a bit confused.  the male dog nearly refused to come with me.

last night as Shabbat ended, i went downstairs to check on the wellbeing of the Sephardi grandpa.  he seemed fine.  their little 21/4 year old granddaughter seemed very content.  she had a lovely Shabbat downstairs playing with all of the play food and lego i brought down.  i escorted her up the stairs to her aunt's car.  we held hands.  it felt marvelous.  it was the first personal touch I've had in months.  it felt so normal.  of course; i washed my hands immediately afterwards.

i had also gone to visit my friend in the evening.  i actually, entered her home and drank tea in her dining room.  that was another first.  we sat around the table and schmoozed for a couple of hours.  i stayed for the ceremonial prayer to end the Shabbat and went home.  it felt so normal.  i don't know how we older folks, are going to reenter society now.  i won't be going to the open market any time soon.  i'm still grappling with a plan to get to see my oncologist in tel aviv next month.

we will just have to wait and watch the numbers for the next couple of weeks.  what a way to live.  it was so nice feeling normal for a few hours yesterday.  we did have a very abnormal rain storm in the early morning.  i tried to open the door to let the dogs out but the winds were so strong that i couldn't pull the door open.  it felt like a hurricane, for sure.  it didn't last that long.  it ended up being warm and sunny and many people stepped out for a walk, without masks.  i saw a lot of cows yesterday and a fox.  this morning i only saw one badger.

A New Day Has Begun

it is 8:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  i just got back from walking the dogs.  i didn't shoot out of bed at 6:00 a.m. this morning;  like i do every day.  the dogs had to rouse me this time and they tried very hard.  i felt like sleeping beauty; being licked and kissed and even yanked a bit.  it was like rising from a drug induced coma.

we took the back street and luckily for me; the dogs made.  i saw more badgers.  i saw a mom badger with her baby badger.  who knows? maybe yesterday's 'minyan' of badgers were performing an ancient ceremony like we do, a bris.  the mom stared at me and i stared right back at her.  two mothers grappling with the new world order during the rona.  it was quite splendid.  i felt a moment of true joy.  of course the dogs were going crazy and wanted to take off after the creatures.

today is the second pesach.  we have the custom to eat some matzah.  i won't go into the details of this symbolic day.  it is basically, a day ripe with second chances and new decisions.  it is a very hopeful day.  i can't' wait to get into the kitchen and make a matzah brie.  i feel inspired.  perhaps, i'll make a banana matzah kugel like we did; back in the good old days.  the darkness seems to have lifted a bit.

i can remember being alone in the radiation room during cancer treatment; feeling all right with the world and bathing in the love of the Lord.  i can remember the love and devotion i felt and the special time it was for me.  i can remember hearing Abba music during one of these sessions and feeling so happy. i need to trust more and give it all up to the higher power.  i need to chill out and appreciate every lovely moment that comes my way.  i need to remember and cherish the love i felt for the badger mom and her precious baby.

i just made my morning elixir and will take it outside and drink it in the sun.  it is a very warm day.  i am looking forward to making my breakfast this morning. i am actually looking forward to having some matzah.  i am also looking forward to another lovely Shabbat and cooking chicken and bulgur for Shabbat dinner.   i have been given a second chance this morning.  sure, i didn't see a rainbow or a unicorn but i did see a little baby badger and it melted my cold heart.

5:30 p.m. update:  the food is on the electric platter heating up.  i made buckwheat goats, stewed chicken with orange and ginger, chicken wing soup, salmon fillet and chumus.  i threw fresh garlic and ginger into the buckwheat after it was cooked; otherwise, it is a very bland dish.  i didn't even add salt.  i threw a small salmon fillet in the toaster oven for a few minutes.  i didn't add anything.  after it was ready, i squeezed lemon juice on it.  i added a strong middle east spice to the chicken soup and i am not really digging it.  it tastes very smoky.  the chumus is grainy and lumpy.  i added tahini but it was already dried up and didn't add any creaminess.  so much for trying to be creative.

last night, while i was on the phone; the Sephardi grandpa, ten years my junior; was taken by ambulance to the hospital.  i didn't hear a thing.  i just found out.  i feel really awful.  i was out with the dogs while he had an episode.  apparently, his blood pressure went soaring sky high and he nearly collapsed.  i can't believe that i missed the entire emergency; not that i am sure i could have helped out.  i was invited for dinner downstairs but i will stay here and go to bed early.

their little 2 1/4 year old granddaughter is sleeping downstairs with her parents.  i was with all of them on independence day outside for a barbecue.  inside, is a whole other scenario.  two young kids came by earlier to play with my puppy.  i had just told my friend that i am not letting the dogs get too close to people to avoid their getting the rona.  the puppy, soon to be a year old next month; was actually these kids' dog.  their mother gave her to me when she was four months old.  i was in sheer panic while these kids played with my 'teeny'.  'tiny' wanted in on the action but they weren't interested in him.

i wouldn't let them take the dog back to their house, on the next block.  i kept my mask on and a good distance from the kids.  isn't life grand!

Enough Is Enough

it is 8:30 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  i took the dogs out at 6:00 a.m.  i had a hard time falling asleep even though i was tired.  i was plagued with worries about my health issues and finances.  i am worried about the kids, too.  i woke up with a dry cough.  i also have a headache.  i have been feeling tingling in my body, also.  i just read that these could be signs of the rona.  i also read the news and nearly went ballistic.  it just seems that no one really knows everything about this virus.  they probably aren't saying anyway; to prevent a mass panic and more suicides.

i finally did the week's washing up.  i did all the tea cups and pots and pans.  i am fed up with being home and i am fed up with being scared.  i am taking antibiotics for a bad tooth problem and i'm sure it is compromising, my already compromised, immune system.  the elixir that i'm drinking every morning is bogus.  the surgical masks that i wear outside are also bogus.  the news is bogus and i can't feel safe. 

i was planning to go to the cemetery to light a candle at my parents' graves.  i am afraid of coughing in the taxi or on the bus.  i don't want to create a panic.  it is sunny today and it seems warm.  the house is freezing and i'm shaking from the cold.  i read that it is also a sign of the virus.  i'm about to lose my mind.  i think that i might need a valium.  my headache is on my left side which could be a neurological symptom of my brain tumor; which is on my right side.  it could also be from the infection in my gum on the left side of my mouth.

 my friend has been running back and forth to the clinic for the past few weeks with an eye infection.  she has another appointment this morning because it has spread to the other eye.  she was sent to the hospital last week for a thorough examination.   she was given more eye drops and told that it was just an infection.  she was tortured at the beginning fearing that it could be the rona.  apparently, conjunctivitis can spread the virus.

on my walk this morning; i saw many badgers sitting upright on rocks near the valley at the end of the street.  it was like a scene out of the lion king.  they usually hide in the bushes and stay away from people.  i counted more than ten this morning.  i usually only see one.  at first, i thought that i was seeing things.  i also saw a large hedgehog in the downstairs garden.  I've seen a few of them in the public parks lately.  i haven't seen any mongoose lately.  they are pretty docile.

we had one at the yeshiva and the guys named him Patrick.  i read that they make decent pets.  i used to feed Patrick.  he used to lie around the courtyard with the cats.  he was afraid of them.  one time, as i sat on the ground; making a shopping list, he snuggled close to me.  i tried not to move much.  he suddenly bit me on my arm.  it was just a love bite like cats do.  it was however, pretty strange.

i think i will take a hot shower and try to feel calm and warm.  i have a bunch of hand washing to do in the bathtub. i don't feel kike getting my cloths wet right now.  my headache is probably from the barometric pressure dropping.  the frightening thing is that it is on the left side.  i usually get headaches on my right side.  oh well.....

Stormy Weather

it is 8:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  i have been in bed all say; watching movies.  i dozed off a couple of times.  i took the dogs out at 7:00 a.m.   it was raining again and quite cold.  i managed to get them out while it was dry.  the dogs didn't want to be out in the rain, either.  i spent the day eating.  i bought these enormous organic crackers and had them with a poor quality cheese spread.  i think each cracker is 100 calories.  i had 5.

i think i put on a bit of weight.  i made my banana fake ice cream; had two apples with peanut butter and polished off a large bowl of leftover red lentils and carrots.  i think i passed out after i consumed the lentils.  it was just way too much to eat in a short amount of time.  i skipped supper.  i had a couple of teaspoons of peanut butter so i could take my antibiotic.  my tooth is still a bit inflamed.  i didn't cook anything today. 

i wanted to make lentil soup last night.  i threw in an onion and two chopped carrots.  i usually add cumin, curry, turmeric, coriander, ginger, chili flakes and garlic.  yesterday i only added a few pieces of garlic and a nice piece of ginger.  most of the liquid evaporated; leaving me with a pot of mushy lentils and carrots.  it was pretty bland.  that's how i seem to like my food these days.

in the early morning, i watched my favorite Italian grandma, gina, make her lentil and minestrone soups on YouTube.  she doesn't skimp on the pasta and she pours tons of shredded cheese into all of her dishes.  i like my pasta, too, but not all that much in soup.  nonetheless, she is a delight to watch.  she loves to sing in Italian while she waits for the water to boil.  her family is so lucky to have her and all of her marvelous food.  you can actually taste the love she puts into her every dish. 

i went out a little while ago to the local synagogue down the street.  i wrote my father's name on a small piece of paper and asked one of the men to say the mourner's prayer for him.  tonight is the anniversary of his death.  i can't remember how many years it has been.  i could look it up but i am too lazy.  and what difference does it make anyway?  it's about sixteen.years, i think.  i still miss him dearly.  i lit a memorial candle for him.  i am planning on going down to the cemetery in the morning.  i hope it isn't raining hard tomorrow.  i will light a candle at his grave.  i'm not sure if i'll jump on a couple of buses or call a taxi.

i was a devoted daughter and i took care of my father until his dying breath.  i was also with my mom until she passed on.  my father had dementia and i was like his mommy at the end.  he held my hand when we ventured out like a small child.  he didn't remember my name and called me 'big woman'.  he was so uninhibited when he had dementia.  he would sing Sinatra hits outside and in taxis.  he even sang at the clinic.  he would often get up and dance and shake the old booty.  he was the life of the party.  he loved children and often greeted them in the street.  he would wish everyone a good Shabbat every day of the week.  some people thought he was crazy but most others adored him.
his famous expression was 'do what's good for you'.

he was a modest man and i don't think he ever wanted for material goods.  he never complained and he ate whatever was served to him.  we all doted on him.  my mother kept him well fit and taken care of.  he loved her dearly.  he called her Sargent sussman  at the end.  she had been a WAC and an officer in WW2.  he didn't remember her name, either.  he would have been 107 now.

Playing By The Rules

it is 8:00 a.m.in the holy city of safed.  i just got back from a supermarket run.  i took the dogs out at 6:00 a.m. and after i brought them home, i flew to the market.  Did i absolutely need to go? Of course, i didn't.  i still have apples and bananas and ginger left and i have poultry in the freezer and assorted grains in the closet.  i wanted to buy almond extract.  what good are my shakes and muffins and fake ice cream without the extract?  as it tuned out, they didn't have almond extract.  bummer!

i bought two vanilla.  they are pricey because they are from America.  i didn't have the oomph to get on a bus and go to the health food store up here.  these will do just fine.  they are way better than the Israeli brand.  i also bought some dried chickpeas, red lentils, organic canned tomatoes, and another rice milk.  i bought two packages of chicken wings, a celery, some onions, more ginger and bananas and a package of carrots and beets.  nothing else 'spoke' to me.  i want hot food.  i have had enough of boiled eggs and peanut butter on apples.  i want a bowl of soup.

last night i made a pot of rice and threw in a couple of cans of tuna.  i shared it with the dogs.  i would have loved to buy more hot dogs and ground beef  this morning but they didn't have any with the certificate of kashrut that i hold by.  i have yet to drink my morning elixir.  it's on the desk cooling.  i am dreading it.  oh yes, i bought another package of Jasmin green tea.  it was on sale. i tried to buy most of my veggies in a wrapped package.  i wiped everything down when i got home.

there was a lady in the supermarket picking out produce without gloves.  she was donning a mask but how in the world, did no one say anything?  i turned to her and asked her where her gloves were.  she continued to pick stems out of her cauliflower and told me that she had gloves.  she didn't miss a beat and she didn't put her gloves on, either.  you cannot be subtle with an Israeli.  i should have said that according to the rules; she is obligated to wear her gloves.  i didn't. 

i was getting ready to check out my purchases when; of course; she asked if she could go in front of me.  she only had two items.  i wondered how many cauliflowers she had touched before picking one.  of course, i let her go ahead of me.  i did tell her to wear her gloves next time.  i think i muttered under my mask; that it wasn't fair to us old folks that she didn't follow the rules.  i tried to make a mental note to remember to warn my friend not to buy cauliflower in this store.  i am surprised how well folks in this little sleepy town; have kept to the rules.  we haven't had a serious outbreak here in safed.
   
you don't see many young people here wearing masks but they aren't running around the supermarkets, either.  it seems that old people as well as small children have been the shut ins here.  i know that in larger cities, this is not the case.  i am glad that i did my run this morning.  this should hold me for another couple of weeks.  i received another appointment for my oncologist in tel aviv.  it is for the first week in june.  hopefully, it will be less risky for me to travel then.  if not 'ill just wait until i feel more comfortable.

Could Visiting Grandma Become legal Again?

it is 9:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  i got up at 5:30 a.m. and walked the dogs.  it was a bit strange.  i saw men going to the synagogue.  i got back a half an hour later and went straight to bed.  i didn't go back to sleep.  i retrieved my reading glasses from the puppy's mouth and started to read a murder mystery that i began on Shabbat.   i just made my morning green tea with ginger, lemon and hot paprika.  i used a jasmin tea today.  i need to buy mint leaves for this elixir.  i used a mint tea yesterday.

 i ate way too many carbs yesterday and i noshed all day long.  i hit the peanut butter pretty hard, too.  i took a nap in the afternoon.  i do practically nothing everyday and yet i am always tired.  i watched the HBO flick, Bad Education.   it took me awhile to really get into it.  a friend came by at 4:00 p.m.  and we sat outside for an hour.  i walked her back to her home with the dogs.  i don't seem to have the patience with other people for more than an hour.  i can't be out of my home for long.  when i got home i rewound the film and watched til the end.  i kind of liked it.

i need to finish the mystery novel today because my neighbor will be returning it to the English library downtown tomorrow.  it reopened yesterday.  i do not usually go there.  i get quite claustrophobic inside.  i usually borrow books from my friend, who goes to the library.  right now, she is not so keen on going.  the entire country is opening up.  schools in major cities opened up.  in safed they will remain closed.  i believe, that clothing stores have opened here.  i am not rushing to get downtown.

i just read that the government is considering letting families visit their grandparents.  i haven't seen the kids in two months.  i read yesterday that children don't really pass on the virus to others.  they said that babies were breeders of the virus now; if their mothers had it.  swell!  i'm sort of waiting to hear from the kids that they will be coming up for Shabbat.  it always is a last minute request and i'm never truly prepared.  i have a couple of treats and little presents for the older grandchildren that i bought for pesach and some poulty and meat in the freezer.  i would just have to buy some veggies and beer; no big deal.

i am just predicting a call.  i really am not sure.  if they did come they could have dinner downstairs with the Sephardi grandparents.  she cooks and bakes every day.  she'd be up for cakes and challah and tons of food for Friday night.  i could swing a cholent for lunch and a salad.  let's just wait and see what truly transpires.  my friends and i are all going a bit nuts.  we don't fit into the herd immunity mentality and we are all still keeping our distance from the masses.  we are all confused and agitated and nervous about life, during corona.

i have an appointment with my gyn-oncologist tomorrow in tel aviv.  there is no way that i would risk the bus ride there.  i feel very frustrated.  i need to do an MRI brain scan soon, too.  i probably could do it in safed but if i do it once; they will never allow me to do it in tel aviv again.  what to do???  i get nervous just thinking about this.  i wonder what will do me in: the brain tumor, the microscopic lung tumor or the rona?  what a wonder!