The Sounds Of Silence

it is 7:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  i took the dogs out but it was pretty cold and i came back pretty quickly.  i am a bit under the weather, as they say.  i have a slight cough.  i am chewing ginger and drinking water with lemon wedges.  i was on the phone for hours on Thursday and Friday.  i simply overdid it.  i spent Shabbat being silent.  i stayed in except for the few rimes i walked the dogs.  i said one sentence all of Shabbat.  i scrambled very last minute to make a bit of food for myself and straighten up the house .i managed to put away all of the laundry.

i threw a package of chicken wings into a huge pot and threw in the remainder of a bag of wheat berries.  i added some spices and voila, i had a meal.  i also baked a slab of salmon.  i tore up some lettuce and added some boiled eggs and i was truly satiated.  i had bought some natural peanut butter and munched on that with sliced apples and rice cakes.  i didn't buy my weekly cashews so the peanut butter was a good substitute.  it doesn't have any other ingredients except peanuts.  there is no added  oils, salt or sugar.

i am very tempted to run to the supermarket but, i will stay in today and just rest.  i will not use any chemicals to clean the house.  my throat hurts a bit so i will keep gargling and keep silent.  when i sat shiva for my father, i spent days talking to throngs of people.  i felt that i needed to entertain them.  i have been speaking with friends all over the world and now i must keep quiet.  i had five of my in-laws staying downstairs for Shabbat.  i only answered the door to hand them things that they needed.  i took grape juice and dish soap liquid from my pesach stock and now i need to replenish it.  i know that i should just ask them to replace things that they borrow but somehow it never gets done.  i should have more trust in the Lord above, who is the source of everything; and just trust that it will all work out in the end.

the gardener is here and i usually sit outside with him and schmooze over a cup of coffee.  i need to pay him for the month and go back to resting.  my head hurts and i feel awful.  i don't feel up to being sociable.  it is truly hard for me. the world is involved in a pandemic virus and i'm worried about not being sociable.  people my age are being told to just stay inside.  i am trying to stay stress free. i am trying not to get crazy about pesach cleaning.  i am trying not to judge anyone, also.  i know i fall short of it all.  when i hear about someone having the virus; instead of feeling sorry for them; i panic.  what has happened to our humanity??

i did see the very cute and creative things that people posted using toilet paper.  the 'game of thrones' one was great as well as 'the safe room'.  i am not doing anything creative these days.  i guess i'm not really a creative person.  i used to enjoy doing costumes and looks for plays but even that, doesn't do it for me anymore. oh well......