it is 10:30 p.m. in the holy city of safed. my cable t.v. isn't working. it is very aggravating. i had the last two episodes of a series that i wanted to finish. i am tired and just needed to watch a bit of television. i have android cable. i keep getting a message that my internet is not working but my internet is working. there aren't any english speakers in the company i use. at least; i haven't found any. they don't even give me the option of watching certain movies in english. the best thing about them is that they are cheap.
the last time i had a problem, my grandson was here to deal with the company for me. sadly, i am alone right now. i am expecting guests on sunday so i may have to wait until then. it is almost shabbat so i think i can manage. once upon a time i could not. i am a t.v. addict. fortunately; i have a new computer and a smart phone. i can watch reruns of 'the nanny' and 'everyone loves raymond' until i fall asleep. or i can warch political videos of matt walsh , megan kelly and ben shapiro. i am too tired to read.
my eye is irritated form the heat and the dust and the clorine at the pool. i am not a happy camper. and i need spelling check. i do not know how to set it up. i have been overly tired since i went to the cemetery last week to visit my sister's grave. her children arrived right after i finished reading my psalms. i was not welcome to join them in their recital of the mourners' kaddish prayer. i have been ousted from the family. i tried so hard not to get disregulated. i thought i had it under control but i lost a couple of nights' sleep over this. this is not an easy one. it has been three years since my sister died. i hoped things would change.
i am lucky enough to have good friends who allow me to vent and rant but this time i tried not to. i really tried to keep it on the down low but it caught up with me. it is like a wound that just keeps on opening to allow the pus out. there have been large groups at the pool all week long and i have been going in the afternoons instead of the mornings. unfortunately, it is very crowded and noisy in the afternoons. it has been a real mess. the kids are unruly and constantly jumping over our heads. it has not been much fun.
there are loads of out of towners in the city and in my neighborhood. the stores are crowded and the streets are filthy. this is my least favorite time of the year. i avoid going to town. soon there will be the annual klezmer music festival and that really is annoying. the bus schedules are off and the busses are overcrowded. i like to walk to town when it isn't too hot. it has been too hot. i take my nightly 45 minute stroll around the neighborhood but it has been very humid. last night i ran into hordes of out of towners and their many kids. it was not pleasant. we are trapped. yes, some people profit from the tourists.
i need to use my eye drops and finish my luke warm hot cocoa. the eye muscle hurts. i hurt. i am too tired to deal with the cable t.v again tonight. it's bed for me. the dogs woke me up at 6:00 a.m.this morning. i haven't napped today so i think i might be able to fall asleep soon. i am too tired to cry tonight. hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. i need to straighten up my roof top guest apartment and mop the parquet flooring and wash down the porch area. hopefully there isn't a lot of pigeon poo. i haven't been upstiars in a while. i wish you all a good night.
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