Listless In Safed

it is 3:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  i stopped blogging.  i honestly, had nothing to talk about.  it was a long holiday period and i didn't get to see my grandkids.  i was a drone.  i spent most of the holiday sleeping.  it was hot and i was down.  i ate all of the holiday meals with the sephardi clan, downstairs.  i didn't put up my meager little 2x2 sukkah this year.  the men built a great big one out of wood downstairs.  i didn't really get a chance to spend time in the sukkah.  the sephardi grandpa set up the sukkah as his private study hall.  he ate all his meals there.  he slept there and he prayed there and he learned torah all day long there.

every year i can't wait until the first day of sukkot to go to my sukkah and have a cup of tea and eat a muffin.  i usually go to synagogue for services and return to my sukkah to serve a holiday lunch for me and a friend or two.  this year, i entered the sukkah downstairs and the grandkids were coming in for hot chocolate.  the grandfather was ready to make kiddush; having prayed for hours since 5:00 a.m. 

i sat down quietly and opened my prayer book.  there were two sons-in-law sitting at the table with the grandfather.  i never sit at the table with the men.  i usually sit with the children and ladies.  i felt awkward but i wanted to pray in the sukkah.  there were grandkids coming in and out of the sukkah so i was never actually alone with the grandfather; who is ten years my junior.

i deeply regretted not having put up my sukkah.  some of the female members of the family ate inside the house.  they were much more interested in being together and gabbing; than sitting in the sukkah for the meal.  it was also shabbat; which made it even more restrictive.  the next morning, i walked over to a large synagogue and sat outside in the shade and prayed by myself.  it was nice to hear the men pray and sing.  it almost felt normal.  but of course, it wasn't.  i guess it is the new normal.  i have decided to maintain a low profile.

i went to the local supermarket this morning and shopped with a passion.  i filled up the freezer with chicken.  i do very little these days except: eat, sleep and watch t.v.  i have virtually no exercise except for walking the dogs.  i did meet my friend this morning and we trekked over to the bank.  we also went to the pharmacy.  i ran into the health food store for a moment and bought two bags of organic oatmeal.  i have been eating a lot of oatmeal lately.  i like cooking it with dates and apples and bananas.  i also love adding tons of cinnamon.  that whole venture took about 40 minutes.  i came back and fell asleep.

i don't do much cooking or baking.  i did make chicken wings and rice for me and the dogs this evening.  i actually, cooked it for the dogs and ended up eating a portion.  i didn't add any spices or salt.  i did add the remainder of a can of baked beans and some black pepper for myself.  i wasn't in the mood to eat today.  i ended up fasting for about 18 hours.  i didn't have the oomph to cook so i had a yogurt with walnuts, pumpkin seeds and apples.  it held me until around 5:00 p.m.  i then had the chicken and rice and started my nightly fast early.  i managed to rid my body of all of the holiday overeating this week.

i felt much lighter this morning. my skirts are loose in the waistband.  i am managing with my meager wardrobe.  i could use a denim skirt.  one of these years, i will go to town and buy one.  for now i am okay.  i was lucky to have been given some clothes this summer.  losing weight is a big plus in finding clothes.  before, i couldn't find anything in my big size.  i put on the old exercise stretch pants and they fit just great.  it was pretty incredible not gaining weight during covid and the jewish holidays.  miraculous, actually.