Last week

it is 12:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  last week i started to blog again.  i didn't really have much to say but i felt compelled to try.  my son and his family came to visit last thursday.  the entire clan came to party with them.  afterall, they weren't here for the holidays this year.  the clan was.  i spent all of rosh hashana and most of sukkot with them.  i wasn't in the mood to be with them on thursday.  i was tired.  i hadn't slept the night before because i stressed over the kids arriving in safed.  i was so afraid that they might be fined by the police or sent back to jerusalem during the newest lockdown.

i straightened up the house and washed the floors. i made the beds.  it was surreal seeing the kids again.  i actually shouted to the sky a thank you. the baby took one look at me and started to cry.  he is ten months old and he doesn't know mw yet.  i guess i was kind of scary shouting like that.  the kids came in and checked the closet for their gift bags.  i managed to get to town to buy them stickers and mini LOL dolls and brawl star figurines and two model kits.

i also had tons of treats and food.  they don't usually eat up here when they come.  they usually run straight downstairs to eat with the sephardi grandparents, who are both ten years younger then me. i don't buy milk anymore because they usually drink their morning coffee downstairs.  i use almond milk in my tea.  the clan came shortly after they arrived.  everyone went downstairs.  i stayed at home.

there were kids running in and out of my house and my dogs kept getting out.  it was stressing me out.  everyone left after 1:00 a.m.  i think they ordered pizzas.  i didn't go down even to say hello.  i had spent the entire shabbat with them the week before.  i don't eat at night any more.  my grandson left to sleep at his cousins' house and i slept with my granddaughter on the television couch.  i was too tired to schlepp in a mattress.  it was good that the grandson left.  he didn't want to sleep with the dogs because they all have ticks right now.

my granddaughter fell asleep at 2:00 a.m.  i lost my sleep and finally passed out around 4:30 a.m.  i was comatose the net day.  sometime in the early afternoon i was left with my granddaughter and the baby. he finally got it that i was the cool and silly american grandmother who speaks a secret language.  he wasn't any bother to care for.  i made him some organic oatmeal with a banana, apple, peach and dates.  i discovered that i like my oatmeal raw now.  i was always a muesli lover.  i now process the oats and fruit together into a paste like consistency and add almond milk.

we had shabbat meals downstairs with the entire family.  one sister was MIA; stuck in another town with her infant son and medium sized dog.  i fell asleep with my dogs after midnight on friday night.  my grandson slept with his two male cousins in the next room.  the granddaughter slept upstairs with her aunt who has taken over the roof top apartment.  i had a really bad headache on shabbat.  i thought that my head was actually, going to explode.  i couldn't deal with all of the noise.  one of the 'adult' children had a meltdown.  i thought that i was going to end up  in the ER.  it was very hard to deal with.  i stayed upstairs on saturday.  i had had enough of the clan family.

i slept with the granddaughter on saturday night in the bedroom with the three dogs. the grandson had the privilege to sleep with the aunt upstairs.  everyone ate downstairs and i stayed in my house.  they left in the late afternoon on sunday and i went to sleep.  that was three days ago.  i have been sleeping ever since they left.  i haven't put the mattresses back and i haven't done the dishes.  i haven't left the house and i haven't spoken to friends.  i haven't texted.  i have been in a fog.  i did binge watch season 15 of grey's anatomy.  i thought it was awful and yet i watched all 25 episodes.  

i am planning on doing some hand washing tomorrow.  my machine is no longer connected downstairs. i was given another washing machine, which is upstairs in the kitchen.  i had hoped to make it my laundry room.  i no longer have access to the upstairs.  i just went downstairs and retrieved my laundry rack; which was borrowed last week.  i am feeling a bit overwhelmed. i hope that the sephardi family will find a new home.  after six months, the honeymoon is definitely over.