All By Myself

it is 4:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  i have been listening to cello music by Hauser all day.  i am a great fan of his.  i discovered him recently while i was mourning for the loss of my baby sister.  i searched the net for sad music.  his adagio by albinoni does the trick.  i posted several versions of this on my facebook page.  i love the lara fabian vocal.  it speaks to me.  i recently installed a facebook page.  it enables me to see pix of my family.  people don't send pix to individuals anymore.

 it was actually, quite cool in my house today.  i ran to the bedroom for a light jacket.  it was much warmer outside.  i washed a bunch of clothes in the bathroom tub.  i didn't want to go downstairs.  they are doing a lot of drilling.  i think closets are getting assembled.  my in-laws are moving in for the winter.  they have been searching for a new home for months.  they just haven't been successful in finding a large enough apartment without steps.  they want a four bedroom apartment.  the prices have gone sky high in safed.  they are asking amounts comparable to rentals in Jerusalem.

they are rearranging the downstairs apartment to fit their needs; finally.  if there was a half decent kitchen downstairs; they could move in permanently.  i have truly benefitted by having them downstairs during the corona and mourning period.  they kept me sane.  they listened patiently to me while i ranted for days on end.  and they fed me.  i am their shabbat and holiday guest almost every week.  their single adult daughter took the upstairs studio apartment as hers recently.  no one has used the space in years.

i thought that i could rent it to a nice single lady or medical student.  it just never happened and with corona; it won't happen for a long while.  they have adjusted to listening to my dogs bark at all hours which is no small feat.  the dogs have adjusted to the family downstairs, too.  i can't believe tomorrow is shabbat once again.  i just went to the local supermarket to buy some veggies.  i want to stay up here for shabbat.  i have a book to read and i want to be by myself.  i spent the entire holiday with the family and i need my peace and quiet now.

i will make a chicken soup and have the rest for the pre yom kippur fast meal on sunday.  i will also make two salmon fillets.  i will probably make rice or quinoa as the side dish.  i bought prepared beets and a small lettuce.  it will be simple.  yom kippur is supposed to be very hot.  the government is trying to shut down all praying in groups completely.  how will i get through yom kippur without hearing the traditional 'kol nidre' prayer at night.  rosh hashana was a bit of a bust and now this......

next shabbat is the beginning of the holiday of sukkot.  that is fine.  we eat and drink wine and sit in our outside huts.  it is a joyous time.  the family has already put up most of the sukkah.  it is massive.  there is usually around 20 or more people inside the sukkah.  i usually put up a small 2x2 meter sukkah.  it tends to shift with the wind.  it nearly flew away a few years ago.  it is nice not having to bother with it this year.  i have a vast collection of plastic fruit that i string up every year.  what a pleasure not having to bother this year.  i can add this to the long list of things that i no longer have the patience to do.

actually, there is very little that i bother with these days.  i have been barely cooking.  when i do it's a one pot wonder.  i do not have the patience to make a variety of food.  yesterday, i took prepared hamburgers and potted them with a can of crushed tomatoes and spices and threw in red lentils and a can of white beans.  that's what i do these days.  this morning i had a toasted roll with a drizzle of peanut butter and honey.  i just had an early dinner.  i made a tuna salad.  i added coarsely grated carrots, an apple, some baby spinach leaves, some lettuce and cooked beets.  i generously splashed  apple cider vinegar and added a bit of mayonnaise.

I've pretty much had it with this corona thing.  i try not reading about it anymore.  i stay away from crowds.  i keep mostly to myself.  i do visit my friend on the next block.  i went to the local supermarket before because i was bored.  i could have gotten through shabbat without veggies.  i could always borrow from downstairs.  i wanted to go out.  i wanted to check out the sales.  there were very few  people in the store today.  i guess they all go tomorrow.  i stopped in before the holiday and had to go out immediately because there were so many people there.  i have a few more things to wash and hang out to dry.

i think i'll wash all the floors tomorrow.  i usually go down to the cemetery to visit the graves of my parents before yom kippur.  if i had a ride i would feel easier about going.  i would have to take 2 busses tomorrow and i don't think i am up to that.  we are still in lockdown even though i haven't seen any police cars up here when i walk the dogs.  oh, everything is so different this year.  less and less people are wearing masks.  we elders have to protect oursleves.