Thanksgiving Every Day

it is 9:30 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  i got up at 6:00 a.m. to take the dogs out.  i ran to the supermarket at 7:30 a.m.to get challah, milk products, oats, almonds and frozen fruits.  i need a shake. the gas technician was coming at 8:00 a.m.  my grandkids are in safed and supposed to visit sometime this morning.  i didn't think i would manage.  i ran over to the bakery.   not one challah was left.

i moved the gas switch from one end of the kitchen to the opposite wall.  i thought that they were installing a slender copper wire about 1/4 inch.under the kitchen cabinets.  i nearly plotzed when i saw the ugly yellow coated copper wiring they used which was an inch wide.  it is pretty upsetting to me.  i don't do changes well but this blew my mind.  i thought the wiring wouldn't be seen.  well, i thought wrong. i also didn't notice the color of the stove that i bought.  they didn't have any white ones.  i bought a silver colored oven.  i didn't realize that the bottom was shiny blue.  there is a tiny sliver of a drawer on the bottom.

i had a gas balloon in my shed and apparently, this is not allowed anymore.  the kitchen is downstairs and a guest apartment, at this time.  I'm glad that i don't need to look at it every day.  the man said i could paint the plastic coating white.  I'm thinking about painting it silver or gold; just one more thing to add to my list of projects to do sometime.  my friend 'sponsored' the new stove.  it is also pretty ugly.  the selection was pretty limited and i didn't want to spend a lot of her money.  it didn't even come with a rubber hose to insert into the gas nob.  i am not a consumer.  i hate to shop.  i never buy online and i hate stores.  i guess i could have gone to another store but i had very limited time to do this. 

i am dead tired in the morning and i can't get myself together until around noon.  i then go straight to work until around 6:00-7:00 p.m.  i can hardly drag my tired old body to the bus.  i usually take a taxi home.  i get home and rush to take the dogs out.  i give them leftover food from the yeshiva and i usually grab something to eat.  last night i missed supper.  i don't eat after 7:30 p.m. and i got home at 8:15 p.m.  i wasn't really hungry.  i ate a ton of scrambled eggs from the breakfast meal.  i got pretty sick in the evening and didn't know if i could finish cooking.

i made falafel balls, salads, tahini and frozen fires for their lunch.  i made the usual, 30 boiled eggs and cut veggies for their Friday breakfast and pasta salad for their lunch.  i made eggplant salad, tahini, tuna salad, and quinoa salad for their Shabbat lunch; as well as a beef stew that stands all night on the platter.  i was planning on making a ground turkey stir fry with rice for their supper last night.  one of the yeshiva guys told me that they wanted to make stuffing.  i guess they felt homesick for thanksgiving.  it really isn't celebrated much, here. 

i told the guys that i could make a stuffing.  it really isn't that much harder than making a meatloaf; except for the dicing and sautéing of the onions and celery.  i took a loaf of bread and slightly toasted it. i threw in a small bag of craisins.   i made a broth out of the water from the bag of cholent meat, that i parboiled and added some celery leaves, parsley, onions and carrots.  i didn't have any turkey spices like rosemary, thyme, or sage but the parsley worked well.  i added a bit too much broth but the guys were stoked and very satiated.   i made garlic roasted potatoes, sweet carrot kugel with cinnamon and corn salad and the guys had a taste of thanksgiving.

we had a water outage for a couple of hours so cleanup was very long and exhausting.  when i saw that the water was merely trickling out, i ran outside to fill up several pots.  i had the exact amount to finish up the cooking but nothing left to wash the pots and serving bowls and utensils.  i finished working at 7:45 p.m. i caught a cab home and passed out for a few hours.  i fell asleep on the very uncomfortable t.v. couch with my legs dangling over the edge.  i didn't do a 10:00 p.m. dog run.  i couldn't move.  the dogs didn't seem to care.  the little one made in the house but the big one didn't.

i am not making Shabbat food today.  i will go to the in-laws for dinner and catch my friends at shul.  the kids are here now and doing their own thing.  i haven't eaten yet.   i want to make banana almond flour muffins and a fruit shake. i bought oats and chopped blanched almonds to grind into flour.  all is well.

Still Tired In Safed

it is 7:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  i just got back from my morning walk with the dogs.  i didn't run into any other four legged creatures this morning.  tiny pulls me and kicks mud on my feet and teeny cuts in front of tiny and nearly trips me every time.  it is ridiculous.  i look like a crazy lady walking two dogs. i go out in my track suit, which i sleep in, with a long robe over it.  i am too tired to get into a skirt in the morning.  they wake me up every day around 6:00 a.m.  today they started nudging me at 5:00ish.  i couldn't get up.  i finally took them out at 5:45 a.m.  we were out for a while today. 

i got home from work at 7:00 p.m. last night.  it is quite cold and extremely windy here.  i have been taking taxi's to work and back every day.  i  am planning on going to Jerusalem for a few days to see the kids.  i haven't seen the grandkids since Rosh Hashanah.  i have a few treats and some toys to schlepp with me.  i always buy a few things for each time they visit.  since they cancelled twice, i have a small take on bag filled with goodies.

my house is a wreck.  i ran out of floor cleaner.  i still haven't bought a new shower head.  the pigeons are back upstairs on the veranda and i think i have a rat in the hallway.  i just haven't found the time to get to the hardware store.  i am going to try this morning.  who knows? i just might get it together to go to town before work.  i  have to do my dishes and wash the floors.  i need to cook 4 meals today because I'm travelling tomorrow.  i am a bit anxious.  i haven't been to Jerusalem in a long while.  i am not always received so well when i come for Shabbat.  the kids are always pressured.  of course, the grandkids can't wait to see me.  this time i am needed to baby sit while the parents go out, so i will be quite the welcomed guest.

yesterday, i found a pot of cooked squash in the fridge from the night before; untouched by the students.  i blended the squash and added onions and fresh tomatoes and made a huge pot of tomato soup for lunch.  i added soy milk to give it a creamier texture. the squash looks here looks like zucchini but the texture is like pumpkin and the inside is quite bitter and very fibrous. it needs a lot of cooking. i have been using it for cakes and kugels.   i also made some corn fritters and a challah bread pudding to go with the soup for lunch.  there was plenty of cut up veggies from breakfast so i added an onion and made a light dressing.  some of the guys have been skipping lunch but by dinner time the leftovers are all gone.

i made shepherd's pies for their supper and a container of very spicy beets.  first, i tried to pickle them. my friend sent me the recipe.  she said it took around two hours.  about a half an hour before i left, they were still pretty crunchy so i boiled them for awhile.  i like crunchy veggies but I'm not so sure the guys do.  i also made a carrot kugel and a corn bread for today.  i usually make a vegan cornbread but yesterday, i had no time to play around and so i added eggs.  there are 20 students and one vegan and the vegan will be leaving soon, so I'm taking it a bit easy. actually, there is nothing easy about the job.  the clean up takes about an hour and my hands are wrecked and my legs hurt.

i have a lot of  cooking to do this morning.  i am planning on making couscous and veggies for lunch and stuffed peppers and rice for dinner.  i plan on serving the corn bread tonight.  i froze it so it would be fresh for today.  i will make a mushroom and barley soup for lunch tomorrow and serve the carrot kugel.  i think i will make a meatloaf for Thursday's supper and make carrots and sweet potatoes for a side dish.  i might also make a bit of pasta.  i also need to make a cake for their afternoon moshiach class.  yesterday, a student asked me to bake cookies or cakes every day for that class.  i blew him off.  i then compromised and told him that on Thursdays, i would serve a cake. 

i won't be back on sunday evening to make their dinner so the manager can make pasta and hot dogs.  i will be returning on Monday morning at noon time.  i hope to get to see my friend on Friday morning for brunch.  she has a root canal on sunday so i doubt that she will be up for meeting for coffee.  the kids will be at school so Friday morning is the best time to meet.  my son asked me to come around 4:00 p.m. on Thursday.  usually, i am told not to come there before 7:00 p.m.  the daughter-in-law does a frantic apartment cleaning after work and she doesn't tolerate foot prints. i do as I'm told.  life is grand!

12:00 p.m.   i just got off the roof  fop veranda.  it was a bad scene.  at least 4 or 5 pigeons were roosting.  i went into action immediately.  i searched the house for plastic ties, the ones they tie up prisoners with.  i couldn't find them or the bamboo twine that i used for sukkot.  i searched everywhere for string.  i finally found some elastic in my sewing kit and i spent two hours tightening the mesh around the bars.  i hope this will at least slow them down until i return home on Monday. are we having fun yet?  now i got to get to work.

Alll Alone By The telephone

 it is 6:30 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  i just got back from walking the dogs.  tiny woke me up at 5:50 a.m.  he didn't wake me up yesterday because i had accidently locked him out on the bedroom veranda.  it is getting harder each day to keep track of these two dogs.  someone is getting locked in a room each day.  the puppy, aka, teeny, ran off during our stroll.  she ran into the street and nearly got hit by a car.  it was a tense few minutes.  i am glad to be back home.  my throat hurts because i kept yelling for her to return to me.  i am not good at raising dogs.  they never listen to me.  i give out desperate vibes to them, i guess.

i came home from work yesterday in a bad way.  i had worked roughly seven hours and had not taken a break to drink, eat or even, pee.  i felt like i might collapse.  i borrowed money to get a taxi.  i walked down the street from the yeshiva and found one.  i noticed that i was not walking exactly, in a straight line.  i thought that maybe, the brain tumor was kicking in.  when i got home i couldn't find the fifty shekel note that i had borrowed.  i felt just dreadful.  i thought that i had lost it in the street.  i had a vague memory of putting it in my pocketbook.  i was so tired and nervous at that moment.  the driver gave me his phone number and told me to pay him another time.  he was such a mensch. 

i got inside and searched every nook and cranny of my pocketbook.  i finally found the money in the slot where you insert credit cards.  i never, ever, put money there.  i called the driver back and he was luckily, still in the area.  i was relieved to pay him before Shabbat.  fifty shekels is really not a lot of money but i earn only thirty shekels an hour.  i have to stand on my feet and cook for an hour to pay for a ten minute taxi ride.  some economics, heh!

i got inside and i needed to sit down.  i also needed to pee and i also needed to have a cup of tea.  the dogs wanted to go out but they also wanted some people food.  i put on my Australian cooking contest and went to the kitchen to boil up some hot dogs and some instant mini sweet potato raviolis. i was ready to have a non gluten roll with my hot dogs but i decided to eat a few raviolis instead.  i haven't really eaten any pasta in a while.  i sat down on the couch and had a cup of tea.  when the show ended, i took the dogs out for their nightly stroll.  i felt pretty strange.  my legs hurt and my right leg felt like wood.  my head was tingling and my ears were ringing.

i needed to make a few phone calls but i couldn't concentrate to find the numbers in my phone book.  i was zapped.  i think i fell asleep on my t.v. couch.  i can't remember when.  i called my son somewhere in between, to check if they were coming to safed for Shabbat.  i needed to buy some veggies and fruits for the Shabbat lunch. as it turns out, they aren't coming .  the Sephardi grandparents and three of my daughter-in-laws siblings went down to Jerusalem for Shabbat to be with them.  this is  monumental.  i was planning on going there next Shabbat, as i have an off Shabbat at the yeshiva and don't need to cook their Shabbat lunch.  i hope i am still welcome to visit.  i haven't seen the grandkids since Rosh Hashanah.

i got to work yesterday at 12:30 p.m.  i immediately, threw the eggplants into the oven to make a spread for their shabbat lunch.  i put up about 30 eggs to boil for their Friday lunch.  i quickly started to cook a large pot of pea soup for their lunch.  i also prepared about 6 pounds of sliced potatoes with turmeric for the lunch and roasted a bunch of zucchini, too.  i cooked a small amount of carrots to prepare a sweet carrot  kugel for their dinner.  i cooked up a large pot of rice for their supper.  i was planning on making turkey burgers.  i also cooked up three bags of pasta to make an oriental pasta salad for their Friday lunch.  i cooked up a pot of beets with vinegar and turmeric for their Shabbat lunch.  i made a cucumber and onion salad to go with lunch and set out the potatoes, zucchini, pea soup and salad in the lunch room at 2:15 p.m.  i had brought some leftover cake that i had frozen, for the guys.  it wasn't much but they devoured it.  one was a chocolate yeast cake and the other was a spelt carrot cake that i had made for sukkot.  i tasted the chocolate icing.  it was very tasty.

at 4:00 p.m. i checked to see if there was any leftovers from lunch.  there was a small amount of soup left and i put it in the freezer.  i thought that i would take it home on sunday for my dinner. i started to make the beef cholent stew for their Shabbat lunch and i cooked a package of quinoa to make a salad for their Shabbat lunch.  i opened two industrial sized cans of tuna and added a bunch of mayonnaise for their Shabbat lunch and i blended the baked eggplant and made a salad.  i usually add tahini and lemon juice but i didn't have the patience to open up a container and whisk up some tahini sauce. i added mayonnaise, instead.  i had tons of pots and pans and bowls to wash. i looked up at the clock and it was already close to six and i hadn't made the hamburgers yet. i was feeling desperate.

i scrambled to do the washing up.  i frantically washed all of the pots and serving utensils and bowls that i had used all day.  i threw soapy water on the floor.  i threw all of the turkey mince into a large skillet and added every spice i had and an onion and some tomato paste and sautéed it all up  i then incorporated it into the rice; leaving a portion of plain rice for the vegan.  and voila! i finished supper for them.  i quickly washed down the counters and stove top and mopped the floor.  i cut up some veggies for their Friday breakfast and put the carrot kugel and rice and turkey 'stir fry 'on the electric hot plate for their supper.  i then left and caught a taxi to go home.

i need to go down to the supermarket to get a few things for my Shabbat.  i need challah rolls and fruit.  i haven't had a fruit shake in days.  i need to lie down for a bit.  i feel a bit shaky. my eyes are burning.  i will probably be lone for Shabbat.  i hope i get to the synagogue for services.  i haven't made it out for the past two sabbats.  wishing you all a Shabbat shalom!

Still Getting It Together

it is 10:30 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  I got the dogs walked at 6:00 a.m. right now they are lounging in the sun outside in the yard.  tiny is still secured on a cable.  I'm sure that they are wanting some people food but I will wait to feed them when I return from work.  they can always have dog kibble if they are hungry.  I started tackling a huge pile of papers on my kitchen table.  I sorted out the paid bills and doctor's reports.  I paid the water bill online.  that was a small accomplishment.  I needed to go to the family doctor last week to get the paper work done for my upcoming lung CT in December. 

apparently, enemy missiles are being fired on tel aviv; as well as other southern regions.  I guess I can always reschedule the CT.  I will wait in the meantime to see how this plays out.  I went through my medical folder and weeded out the numerous referral forms.  I also chucked a folder of my parent's Aliyah papers. it was a bit difficult but they have both been gone for over ten years.  I think less is more these days.  I used to save all of my paid bills but I started throwing them out,too. my recent mantra is "throw it out". I found an old picture of myself in Hebrew school back in the 60's. I guess.  it is amazing how I always thought that I was a chubby teen.  I have always hated my 'fat' arms, too.  looking at the picture, I realize, that I was quite trim and that my arms were actually, slender.  so much for body imaging.

my 'cholent' remade into barley soup; turned out to be a big success.  yesterday I made a couscous soup but because we didn't have any couscous on board; I blended it and called it pumpkin orange soup.  I think that I was dehydrated yesterday.  I felt quite awful when I finally got myself out of bed. I was feeling dizzy for a few days and after I took the dogs for their run; I collapsed back into bed.  I felt fluish again.  I don't know how I made it to work.  I had to take the dog to the vet to check on her recovery from being neutered.  I spent about $25 in taxis.  I left work at 6:00 p.m. and taxied back home to get the puppy.  it was cold and very windy.  I couldn't deal with waiting for the busses.  and of course, i wanted to catch my Australian cooking contest.

i taxied it home to pick up the puppy and went straight to the clinic.  it was pretty cool outside and very windy.  I was nervous about taking the puppy on a bus.  she can be a handful. she started chasing cats the other day and now yipes and barks at other dogs. she still gets into the bathroom and runs off with multiple rolls of toilet paper.  she loves to shred them.  i am constantly retrieving  half rolls.  I truly adore this puppy.  my 4 year old, tiny the medium sized dog, has regressed and jumps onto my lap like a puppy.  the real puppy is catching on about toilet training,now.

i am still making my fruit shakes with frozen fruits and enjoying my homemade almond flour banana muffins in the morning. also,  i am still doing the intermittent fasting regimen.  i finish all food consumption at about 7:30 p.m. i haven't lost a lot of weight but my clothes are definitely looser.  the waistbands of my skirts are also looser and my stomach no longer looks like a basketball.  i don't look pregnant anymore.  I am aiming to hit the hardware store this morning and buy a new shower spray.  who knows? i might just achieve this.  baby steps, right?

Getting It Together

it is 11:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  I have the local repair guy downstairs fixing my toilet.  I also have a leak in my master bedroom's bathroom sink.  it's never ending when you own a house.  I was able to catch up on some laundry while I waited for him to come.  I even did my dishes.  I guess I am feeling a tad better today.  I need to get to work soon.  I think it will be chili hot dogs and rice for lunch.  I will probably make a pea soup for supper with some kind of kugel. 

yesterday, I took some left over Shabbat stew and turned it into a barley soup by adding some fresh vegetables and a lot of liquid.  I wonder if the guys caught on.  I also made them a bread pudding which I call 'challah kugel'.  one of the guys had a birthday so I baked a white cake with chocolate frosting.  it didn't turn out the best but yeshiva guys aren't so fussy. I smeared a bunch of chocolate spread and some strawberry jelly on top. Israeli's use this chocolate spread to make their children sandwiches for school. I have primarily, used it for cakes. back in the day, when my son was in school; I probably gave him tuna or peanut butter sandwiches.

I was pretty health conscious back then.  that is, before I got sick.  after I underwent chemotherapy and radiation, I could not eat anything healthy. I couldn't stomach organic green tea nor could I look at whole wheat bread.  I actually, became addicted to coca cola for awhile.  I never drink soda or carbonated drinks.  I was a soda junkie for several months.  I had to literally, detox from soda. I am ashamed to say, that I am not that health conscious with the grandkids.  if they want chocolate spread on bread, that's what I give them.

it is a beautiful day.  the sun is out and it is vey cool.  I took the dogs out at 6:00 a.m.  that is a pretty safe time to not run into any loose dogs.  I do say a silent prayer each time I take them; not to run into any large or vicious dogs. teeny, the puppy, loves dogs.  she actually got free and chased a cat up the stairs, yesterday.  I was so happy to finally have a dog that didn't hate cats, but no such luck. my dogs are cat haters.  there, I said it.

I have been catching snippets of 'the view' lately.  those ladies are real witches.  they are so self righteous but they are truly evil. my new thing is to comment on YouTube.  it is my passion these days.  I sometimes get answers.  talk about your validation!  I have to find a moment to buy a new hand spray for my shower.  last week we had a water 'break' and when I came home, each bathroom was slightly flooded.  the shower spray in the master bedroom flew off and broke from the pressure when the water was turned back on. it is always something.  I have several, little, annoying repair jobs to do.

the repair guy seems to be struggling with the bathroom sink leak.  it is pretty clogged up.  he usually solves the problem, eventually; bless him.  I think I will have to pay him with a 'head' check.  I think my account is running low this month.  he is pretty compliant with the payments.  I will receive my salary in a couple of weeks so all is well.

Almost Shabbat 2019

it is 3:00 p.m. in the holy city of Shabbat.  teeny the puppy, joined us for our evening walk last night.  she seems much better after her surgery.  she finally pooped, too.  I hand fed her banana and made organic oatmeal with frozen raspberries this morning.  she also had some of my salmon fillet.  tiny the dog is lying outside in the yard on a long cable.  he is no longer allowed to run free and chase cats and children and other innocent pedestrians.  it took me awhile to get it.

I made two salmon fillets for Shabbat but I ate most of it.  I am finishing up a bean and meat stew for tonight.  it was supposed to be a cholent and stand on the electric platter all night ; but I decided to have some for Shabbat evening.  I didn't have any barley or potatoes to make it authentic cholent so it is now a bean and beef stew.  I used a packet of dehydrated fried onions.  I didn't have any veggies to add.  I ran down to the supermarket to buy bananas and frozen fruits to make my smoothies and didn't really think about veggies.  I bought a few packets of minced almonds and ground them into a flour and made banana muffins.

it was very hot this morning.  I quickly washed down the hallway where teeny has been relieving herself.  I was pretty tired today.  I cooked for nearly seven hours yesterday.  I made falafel balls, salads and french fries for lunch.  I used up two bottles of oil.  I made boiled eggs and cut veggies for their breakfast today and left some tahini.  I  made turkey burgers, rice and carrot kugel for their supper. I made a huge oriental cold pasta salad for their lunch today and I made eggplant salad, pickled beets, quinoa and beef stew for their Shabbat lunch.  on my way out of the kitchen, I quickly mashed up two industrial sized cans of tuna with a lot of mayonnaise.  it took me about an hour to clean up the kitchen.  I cabbed it home and was able to catch my Australian cooking contest on television.  I passed out shortly after I walked the dogs around 8:00 p.m. 

I need to watch my stew now.  it is almost done.  I mistakenly added hot paprika instead of the sweet paprika and I think it will be too spicy for the dogs. I burnt the rice and I burnt the string beans and I also burnt the pot of water with lemon salt; that I left on the fire to loosen the burnt remains.  I sometimes  think that I may have early onset dementia.  I got off the phone with my friend and I smelled a chemical like smell.  I also noticed that the house was a grayish color.  I thought that we might be under a chemical attack when I realized it was coming from my kitchen.  I quickly opened up all of the windows to air the house out. oh well.... all is well. I didn't burn the house down today.  Shabbat shalom!

Thank Goodness It's Thursday

it is 7:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  you know, for a very small and remote town in the upper galilee region of Israel, we have many spellings of it's name.  I use the arab version.  I think it is the nicest looking.  you will usually see tzfat or zefat listed online.  it is biblically, one of the five cities of refuge and one of the four holy cities..  anyone living here has his 'story'.  we live on a mountain and the altitude is quite high.  baking is always a challenge at first.  I still don't get it completely right.

I don't know what started me on a safed rant.  I've been here since 1984.  I guess i'm really tired.  I had the puppy neutered on Tuesday and I've been sleeping on a mattress on the floor of the television nook; since she can't jump onto my bed, yet.  I haven't been able to turn off the television without moving her and I've had pretty poor sleeping.  yes, I know about the invention of the remote control, as you might be thinking.  I've just been too tired to keep it close by.

I finally did my dishes yesterday morning before I went to work.  I am too tired and wet when I return home from cooking.  the cleanup there takes about an hour.  I usually wait for half an hour for my bus and after being on my feet for 5-6 hours; I'm truly beat and don't feel like cooking for myself and doing the wash up.  I sometimes eat at the yeshiva.  yesterday, I helped myself to a huge plate of pasta.  I have been hitting the carbs pretty hard lately.  it's the change in weather that effects our appetite.  I usually have a fruit shake for dinner.  the intermittent fasting keeps me from doing more damage to my weight.

I am in the middle of watching the tenth season of 'my kitchen rules, an Australian cooking competition.' I sometimes take a taxi home to get back in time to see it at 6:00 p.m.  if I miss it I can catch it at midnight but I try to go to bed before that.  I have been passing out lately, pretty early.  today, I usually cook 4 meals.  I do lunch and dinner, and Friday's lunch and Saturday's lunch, too.  it takes about six hours.  thankfully, Thursday is the end of my work week.  I could go in and cook the Shabbat food tomorrow morning, but I prefer to be home instead.  I can catch up on my laundry.

I am planning on making falafel balls and chips with salad for lunch and something with chop meat for supper.  maybe, i'll do pea soup and hamburgers. rice is a good side dish.  the guys like rice. I usually do pasta salad for their lunch on Friday. I make a beef like stew with barley and potatoes that stays on the electric platter all night.  I then have to make a few salads for their Shabbat lunch.  I'm thinking eggplant salad, pickled beets, cold quinoa  and a corn salad.  and i'll open some tuna fish.  just thinking about doing all of this makes me more tired.

my head hurts this morning.  the changes in the barometric pressure is killing me.  the mornings are still warm but it cools off drastically at night.  I schlepp a coat with me every day.  I am not really feeling like going to work but I have the rest of the morning to rest.  I can always cab it to work.  as long as I get in by noon, I have a good shot of finishing up by 6:00 p.m.  as soon as I get in, i'll put up the rice and pasta to cook. i'll throw the eggplants into the oven and i'll then peel a bag of potatoes and get the chips ready for frying.  I'm thinking of round chips today. i'll start cutting up veggies.  hopefully, it will go smoothly and I won't cut myself today.