Sunday, March 29, 2015

Countdown To Pesach 2015 Sunday

it is 6:30 P.M. in the holy city of Zefat.  I've have both kids with me since 2:00 p.m.  I just got a call form their parents informing me that they were in Haifa and wouldn't be back until midnight.  I was asked to watch the kids while they went out to buy a few outfits for pesach.  I didn't think that meant bathing the kids, feeding them dinner and putting them to sleep.  I kind of thought that I could go to bed early.

I didn't sleep very much last night.  I was obsessing over the brownish lawn for hours.  the gardener came today and of course, I didn't fire him.  I  did let him know just how much this upset me.  one more person who thinks I have no life.  the kids don't think I have a life because I don't have a job.  when I was working I was respected more.  no one could make demands on me.  my time was my own.

I coughed all night long.  my throat hurt and I felt sick.  I didn't do any cleaning.  I watched a horrible action film and then reruns of the Kardashians for hours.  I woke up feeling lousy.  I was in the bathroom and suddenly started washing the window.  that led to my cleaning the bathroom for pesach.  I then did the blog room floor and while I was pouring water around, I did the other bedroom floor.  at first I couldn't get the windows out so I went outside to try and use the hose.  the hose was useless as it has a major hole in it.  just one more thing to buy that I can't afford.

somehow, I managed to get the windows out.  putting them back in was another story.  I struggled for awhile and nearly gave up.  after a silent prayer I managed to have enough strength to put them back in.  my back is hurting me.  while the kids were running around the yard I painted the storage shed's door.  I started painting the rust on the front gate until the weather got chilly.  I bought turpentine so I was good to go.

I still have the living room to do and the large master bedroom.  I think I'm on schedule and making good time.  if I stay well, I have a good shot of finishing early.  that's really a fantasy.  I've never come in early.  i'll have to get my son to take out the living room windows so I can clean them.  there is no way I can do that alone anymore.  I still want to do the porch windows outside.  I only do them once a year.  the only problem is that birds dive right into them after they're clean and cloey dog drags in the bloody carcasses.

I have absolutely zero patience for the kids.  I am tired and frustrated.  I would like to be able to clean for pesach in peace and alone.  I don't know why I get the brunt of the babysitting.  I'm not feeling very maternal these days.  I'm annoyed and feeling very used.  I can't even blog in peace.  I have to go downstairs and deal with the kids on their turf.  I scream at the kids until I lose my voice every day.  it's not right for anyone.

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