it is 6:30 P.M. in the holy city of Zefat. I've have both kids with me since 2:00 p.m. I just got a call form their parents informing me that they were in Haifa and wouldn't be back until midnight. I was asked to watch the kids while they went out to buy a few outfits for pesach. I didn't think that meant bathing the kids, feeding them dinner and putting them to sleep. I kind of thought that I could go to bed early.
I didn't sleep very much last night. I was obsessing over the brownish lawn for hours. the gardener came today and of course, I didn't fire him. I did let him know just how much this upset me. one more person who thinks I have no life. the kids don't think I have a life because I don't have a job. when I was working I was respected more. no one could make demands on me. my time was my own.
I coughed all night long. my throat hurt and I felt sick. I didn't do any cleaning. I watched a horrible action film and then reruns of the Kardashians for hours. I woke up feeling lousy. I was in the bathroom and suddenly started washing the window. that led to my cleaning the bathroom for pesach. I then did the blog room floor and while I was pouring water around, I did the other bedroom floor. at first I couldn't get the windows out so I went outside to try and use the hose. the hose was useless as it has a major hole in it. just one more thing to buy that I can't afford.
somehow, I managed to get the windows out. putting them back in was another story. I struggled for awhile and nearly gave up. after a silent prayer I managed to have enough strength to put them back in. my back is hurting me. while the kids were running around the yard I painted the storage shed's door. I started painting the rust on the front gate until the weather got chilly. I bought turpentine so I was good to go.
I still have the living room to do and the large master bedroom. I think I'm on schedule and making good time. if I stay well, I have a good shot of finishing early. that's really a fantasy. I've never come in early. i'll have to get my son to take out the living room windows so I can clean them. there is no way I can do that alone anymore. I still want to do the porch windows outside. I only do them once a year. the only problem is that birds dive right into them after they're clean and cloey dog drags in the bloody carcasses.
I have absolutely zero patience for the kids. I am tired and frustrated. I would like to be able to clean for pesach in peace and alone. I don't know why I get the brunt of the babysitting. I'm not feeling very maternal these days. I'm annoyed and feeling very used. I can't even blog in peace. I have to go downstairs and deal with the kids on their turf. I scream at the kids until I lose my voice every day. it's not right for anyone.