An Old Story

it is 8:30 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. i should be going to work about now. i am a bit agitated. my son just called to let me know that he and wifey are going out of town for a few days. that's without their kids, of course.

i didn't have to cook breakfast yesterday. i came in to work about noontime to prepare lunch and supper for the guys. it was a bit weird to be home in the morning. i was tired from shabbat and couldn't do anything. my dirty dishes are still in the sink. i left work after 5:00 p.m. and went over to the spice store to stock up on spices. my cooking is only as good as the spices that i use. i don't use flavoured boullion cubes in my kitchen.

i spent a bunch of money and luckily, ran into one of the guys, so i didn't need to lug the heavy package home with me. on my way home, i saw an open house event at the local childrens' gan. i wondered if my grandson was going to such an event at his new kindergarten. i wanted to participate, too. i called the daughter-in-law to ask if she was going over to the new gan. i was told that there wasn't any such happening over there.

the new gan is close to my home. i assumed, that i would be asked to pick up my grandson from time to time. when i asked if daughter-in-law was going to spend the morning at the gan on the first day, since she works, i was informed, after the fact, that she had already quit her new job. the baby, however, will remain in daycare until she finds another one. i was also informed that i needn't buy party goods for my grandson's third birthday party next week. i was asked to buy some jello and non dairy whipped cream, and i was given the green light to make chocolates, cookies and a cake. wow!

i asked if they were going to make a small family birthday party on shabbat, the boy's actual birthday, but she didn't feel the need to do so. of course, they are going to her family on his birthday. i only get them when they are too tired to make shabbat on their own. she expects most of the clan from hadera to com. i don't know any of the details, yet. why would i? i am never told anything until after she and her mother decide what to do. i have absolutely, no say in what goes on. why should i? i don't even know if they are going to invite my family. but then, i don't even know if my family would attend. i am miserable. the only respect and admiration i seem to get, is from the guys, whom i cook for.

i was completely, flabbagasted to hear that the kids were leaving on my grandson's first day in kindergarten. the baby only started daycare last week. too. i can't relate. my parents never left us kids, overnight. i left my son only once, when he was two. the idea that the other family get the kids for 3 days, brings back bad memories of the last time the kids left my grandson with them. i don't want them overnight. i would have a hard time getting them to gan and daycare in the morning. but still, i would have liked to be informed sooner. i am bummed out. i am, once again, being treated as the outsider. if i want to know how things are going at the gan, i have to hussle on over to the in-law's to get a report. i feel so cheated.

my daughter-in-law doesn't allow my grandson to sleep over on shabbat. but it's fine to leave the kids for days there. i am always the odd guy out. i am always made to feel like the babysitter down the block, instead of the grandmother. i am so hurt. i have just started to have a relationship with my granddaughter. she will forget me now. i am so not loving this!!!!