Will You Still Need Me When I'm 64

hello again! it's 3:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i haven't had the energy to blog in a very long time. we just got though an excrutiating heat wave. it was like living in a sauna. zefat is typically, hot and dry. not this year. it is muggy! the heat wave officially broke, before last shabbat. we suddenly had a breeze. it was so liberating.

i've been doing 7 hour work shifts at the yeshiva. that's seven hours, straight, standing on my poor feet. i can't work sitting down. i don't know how ladies cut veggies sitting at the table. i don't take breaks. i work until i finish and go home. i get back home and collapse on the t.v. sofa. i usually pass out. i have had to run over to my son's to babysit a few times, recently. the next day, i usually feel like i've been run over by a truck.

i had it out with the heads of the yeshiva last week. they expected me to come in on fridays and make a shabbat meal. they wanted me to give them three fridays out of every month, in addition to the 5 days that i put in, already. they weren't planning on paying me any more, either. i first, agreed to come in and then i refused. enough is enough!

i emailed them that the job was already taking me 7 hours a day to do. i let them know that this was border line exploitation. i told them that for what they were paying me i could only give 2 meals a day. they quickly found someone else to do the shabbat meals. they asked how much more i required but i refused to work another day.

i am currently suffering from back pain, leg pain and hip pain. i have inflammation of the right ankle. it is hard to walk. i started going in to work a little later. i had been coming in at 7:30 a.m. but i didn't leave until after 2:00 p.m. breakfast is served at 10:30 a.m. and lunch is served at 2:00 p.m. i decided to come in at 9:00 a.m. i lose my rides in to town now. i just can't get myself out before that anymore.

the dogs wake me up every day at 6:00 a.m. and i take them for a walk. i come back in and go back to bed. i'm not alive until 8:00 a.m. i can catch the bus at 8:45 a.m and i'm in the kitchen by 9:00 a.m. this morning i found a bit of leftovers, so i was ready for breakfast pretty fast. i served cucumber and tomato salad, chopped eggs and fried onions, and the last of the bread pudding from last night's supper. i also made corn fritters from the left over corn.

i made a tray of oven roasted potatoes and a pot of spicy red lentils for their lunch. i left a huge pot of bulgar with steamed carrots and onions with a salad for their supper. one of the guys had a birthday so i stayed an extra hour and baked him an eggless banana, chocolate and peanut butter cake. i bake eggless cakes because one of the boys is a vegan. i don't want him to miss out on the cakes. when i serve kugels, i usually make some rice or oatmeal for him. i know, i am a pushover for these kids.

i really like the boys. most of them are in their 20's. they are so sweet. they are very helpful,too. they actually thank me after each meal. one boy told me this morning, that since he has been eating my food, he has developed self esteem. i nearly cried. the birthday 'boy' turned 39 today. he's my helper in the kitchen. he's a chef and could well do my job himself, but he's not motivated to work that hard. he's been learning hebrew in school and has been busy all day long. he makes me coffee every day. for that alone, i'm indebted to him. he will do the floor when i ask him to. he is living there and helping out in lieu of rent. the problem is that i always have to ask. he lacks initiative.

i had a birthday last week. i turned 61 and not 64, as in the blog title based on the beatles' song. i didn't feel like celebrating this year. i didn't have the energy to invite anyone over. i didn't have the money, either, to do anything. i knew that the kids were busy and i didn't want to bother them to come over. my sister had wanted to go out with me but i was simply, too tired. i didn't get her message until late that night. i collapsed in bed as soon as i arrived home. i didn't even take the dogs out.

my friend came to the yeshiva last week, right as i was preparing breakfast, to celebrate my birthday. i was pretty busy and not in the mood to be seranaded with 'happy birthday'. i had already been on my feet for hours and the boys were due in for breakfast. she left a large gift package under the work shelf and left in a huff. i didn't have a moment to open it up. and besides, it was a day early. my birthday wasn't until the next day. i know this sounds so petty, when i relate the story. alas, i found the lovely piece of mousse cake, that was crammed into the package, too late. i had to toss it. so much for birthday surprises.

tonight, the same friend, is having a birthday party for several of us women, who all have birthdays in the jewish month of tamuz. she hasn't spoken to me since last week. we sort of had a falling out over cigarette smoke. i hate it and can't be around it. she thinks that i am being controlling by not sitting in her apartment while she smokes. i said that i wouldn't come around anymore because of the smoking issue and she told me to have a good life. "friendship, friendship, what a perfect blendship".