it is nearly 7:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i just shlepped back from town in the heat with my grandson. i was only home for about 5 minutes when his other grandmother came by and literally scooped him out of my arms and into her car. i am really steaming.
the kids went off to eilat this morning for about 5 days. i was really looking forward to spending the night alone with sahar. i had asked the other grandma how she wanted to split up the days. i was willing to keep him here at night, sleeping in his own room. now that's a chiddush! my plan was rejected. i feel very resentful.
i want to call up my son and give him a mouth full of venom. that won't solve anything. he will only side with his wife. that's how it should be anyway. i guess my daughter-in-law doesn't really trust me with sahar. she wants him with her mother. she packed up a bag of all his summer clothes this morning and left me without hardly anything. she also didn't leave me a stroller. i am so hurt i could cry.
i didn't sleep a wink last night because i was so nervous about them leaving. i assumed that they had already left sahar with the clan. i didn't hear him make a peep last night. i finally fell off to sleep at around 6:00 a.m. at 7:00 a.m. zvi came upstairs with sahar and asked me to watch him. they had overslept. the inlaws were driving them to acco to catch a train to ben gurian airport. they were flying from tel aviv to eilat.
sahar seemed more tired than i was today. he is simply over stimulated at gal's family. here, he gets quality time with just me. it's quiet except for the dogs. maybe gal didn't want sahar to sleep with me and the dogs. i don't know anything because she doesn't communicate anything with me. zvi simply, stays out of the line of fire.
i am so upset that i keep fantasizing about kicking them out from the downstairs apartment. what am i the maid? good enough to wash their clothes and watch the kid for a while but not good enough to have a real relationship with my own grandson. i am the scapegoat, too. i am being blamed for getting sahar out of his crib routine and getting him used to watching videos to fall asleep. i never showed him videos without asking first. why am i validating myself, anyway??
i feel like crying. i can't believe that i have no rights. i have been having awful nightmarish fantasies of going to court to fight for custodial rights over the other family. it should never have to get to that place, please,G-d!!!!
this just isn't right. i am the paternal grandma. the kids live in my house. i have only one child. i have only one grandchild. i am totally alone tonight. why wasn't i given the chance to snuggle with my grandson tonight??? i am really mad at gal. i want so badly to tell her off. that's a luxury. i have to keep it cool all the time if i want access to my grandson. something has to give. i can't go on like this anymore.