it's 8:00 a.m. friday morning in the holy city of zefat. i woke up at 7:00 a.m. and got up to have breakfast. i've been on a quasi vegan/raw food diet for a couple of days. i finally made myself sick from all the binging. besides, gaining an all time record of poundage, i really got sick.
i was nauseated for a couple of days and couldn't even drink coffee. i went through a real caffeine withdrawal. i only drank tea for a few days and was unable to function. my sinks are full of coffee mugs, dishes and pots and pans. i have little stamina to deal with anything.
i've had sahar with me practically, all week long. his other grandmother was out of town visiting her mother. i had him for over 12 hours on sunday and wednesday. i had him for almost 24 hours on monday when his parents went off to tel aviv.
i took sahar with me to the grocery to buy a sweet challah. i spent the morning in the pool while sahar played in the garden. he didn't like being in the pool today. i think it was too cold for his taste. it was just right for me. the sun was really brutal. i wore a leotard and shift as my bathing costume.
gal made the shabbat meals downstairs and i am their guest this week. she actually bought fish and chicken this week. it was the first shabbat meal that she made. she was on the phone with her mom on thursday night. her mom talked her through the chicken and fish dishes. gal made two types of eggplant salad, a potato salad, and a mixed green salad. she also made an icebox cheesecake.
i made an eggless chocolate fudge cake because i gave gal all of my eggs. i made some beets, and the usual cooked tomato relish. i also made an israeli salad and tahina. i made some white rice and the weekly potatoes and eggs. i took care of sahar until nearly candlelighting time and then made a mad dash to wash the floors.
gal came upstairs a dozen times to ask for things. she needed eggs, various spices, a hand mixer, fresh garlic, and then the use of my fleishig oven. i have to admit that it was a huge relief not to have to make meals this week.
last night i finished putting sahar to sleep at 10:00 p.m. my niece had called around 8:30 p.m. from town to let me know that a friend's wedding was in progress. i never received the invitation. i had gone to the senior's center that morning and had stayed an extra hour to see that they all made in onto their tenders home. i then went to visit a friend and stayed for a few hours. it was a really hot day and i didn't budge until around 5:00 p.m. when it seemed to be cooling down.
i then went to the bank and then to the supermarket to get supplies for shabbat. i didn't get home until after 6:00 p.m. i was quite tired. i settled down onto the t.v. couch for a little while until sahaar came home and wanted me to watch his 'row row row the boat' videos with him. when my niece called to tell me about the wedding, i was too tired to consider getting dressed up and going back out.
an old friend from the states was at the wedding and looking forward to reconnecting. the thought of having to wear my wig and pantyhose was anathama to me. i wish that i could have been more flexible. i simply, could not. i need to know the night before what i am planning to wear, and have it all laid out in front of me. i need to select which pieces of jewelry i want to wear and which pair of shoes. i also need to have my wig combed out and sprayed. i don't do well with last minute preparations anymore. especially, carrying around this extra weight, makes it much harder to find an outfit that still fits.
i felt really let down that night. it brought up memories of all the other simchas that i missed throughout the years. i felt totally out of the loop, again.