it's nearly 9:00 p.m. on a thursday night in the holy city of zefat. i am exhausted. i spent the entire afternoon cleaning the house. i just did 3 batches of laundry to boot.
the house was really smelly and dirty. the weather has been really strange. it's been hot and dry during the day and quite chilly at night. the house is very cold. the entire house was covered in grey dust.
i'd love to do the windows again, but i just don't have the energy. besides, it might just rain again. we never have rain at this time of year. everything is, pretty much, out of the ordinary, weather wise.
i could fall asleep this instant. i don't remember how late i stayed up. i must have gone to sleep after 3:00 a.m. i've been in a funk since the blow out with baby sister last week. i think it's my niece's birthday tonight, but i don't have the energy to call her and talk.
the kids are going to the in law's for shabbat. i'll probably tag along, too. i don't have the energy to prepare anything for myself. i spent the week, stuffing face, again. you would not believe the amount of junk i consumed, this week. shavuot is on tuesday night and i would have liked to lose a bit of weight before the holiday.
the kids are going to the gal's family for shavuot night. i'm seriously thinking of joining them. they might just walk home afterwards. zvi wants to be home for a morning dairy meal. once upon a time, i would have prepared two or three types of kugels, a quiche, three types of meat and various salads. that seems like so long ago.
i'm planning on making a cheese lasagna and a simple cheesecake for shavuot day. i might make a spinach pie and some baked salmon. i'll probably also serve, a simple fruit and cheese platter, too. the prices of fruit have skyrocketted, lately. i'll stick to melons and add some grapes.
i got out of babysitting sahar, today by saying that i was going to the seniors' center. i actually, ended up staying home. i wasn't feeling well but i felt an enormous pressure to clean the house. i have sahar with me tomorrow. i also, have a dog coming to stay for shabbat, of all the crazy things. that's right, i'm babysitting a dog. what we will do for a few shekels!
sahar just got home and wanted to see 'tata' zelda. he really wanted to see the 'row row row your boat' video on you tube. he's really keen on this lately. he didn't want to go downstairs because he knows that it's bedtime. i somehow, managed to get him to the downstairs computer and after quite awhile, he fell asleep in my arms. he refuses to watch lullabies now because he knows they put him to sleep.
i haven't spoken to my sister since the blow out. we've emailed a wee bit but that's all. i did speak to my brother, the shrink. he kept telling me, in his best dr. phil voice, to try and see the larger picture. i cannot for the life of me, figure it out right now.
today, my sister sent me an ad for a managerial position at a seniors center. besides the fact, that i couldn't understand the hebrew, i am absolutely not qualified for such a job. after all, i've only been visiting the center for about a year. and i only go there once a week. i haven't a clue what goes on in the other sections of the center. i have been primarily, visiting the closed in dementia group. i have no experience with the social welfare network, at all.
i tried to explain to sister dearest, that no one would ever hire someone without a degree. she really didn't get it. amazingly, i started to get it, though. my sister lives in an altered reality state. once i acknowledged this to myself, i no longer felt upset with her. i understood why it was so hard to communicate with her. she simply doesn't live in the same world as me.