Monday Mornings

it is 8:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.   the kids were picked up a few minutes ago.  that means I have the whole day to myself as they won't be back until 4:00 p.m.  right now I'm chilling out.  I'm really tired and my back hurts. I slept between two mattresses on the floor with the kids last night.  they are happy campers, for the most part.  tiny dog ate a big whole in the mattress.  I had to sleep in the middle and hold onto each kid until we all fell asleep.  I think I turned off the t.v. at 9:30 p.m.  I was too tired to watch anything.  I have to say that listening to hours of sponge bob is quite annoying.

I don't know if I will able to tackle the kitchen alcove today.  I may do some windows instead.  I made countless amount of eggs last night which the kids rejected.  tiny and I binged seriously.  I don't have a clue as to what to make for dinner.  I need to get to the bank and pick up checks.  I want to get some white paint and I need more plaster.  I also want to call a handyman to fix the toilet downstairs.  it keeps on running, costing me tons of shekels.  I am feeling a bit desperate.  I am contemplating taking off the covers from two beds.  I hope they make it through a rinse cycle in tact. I remember putting them back on was quite the feat.  I am kind of tired of this spring cleaning.

I feel compelled to keep on hustling but I am genuinely tired of cleaning at his point.  it is a bit of a dilemma.  from what I heard, the kids pulled another all nighter last night in the gallery.  they had some business out of town.  their children are truly missing them and are acting out a bit.  I grew up at a time where parents were at home.  I was eighteen the first time my parents went out of town.  I am no substitute for their young and energetic parents and I am a total weakling in the discipline department.

I feel very isolated and insulated from the real world.  I know there is life outside of these walls that I keep scrubbing and plastering.   perhaps it will do me good to get out for a bit.  I just don't really have the will to get dressed and out on a bus.  maybe in a while.

2:30 p.m.  put away the electric platter, giant water kettle and meat oven.  cleaned the countertop where I always heat up food on shabbat.  what a greasy mess! it is beginning to look a lot like pesach.  I stopped working.  I need a bit of time to myself before the kids come home.  it feels a bit hopeless.  there are toys everywhere.  I think I will do the kitchen alcove tomorrow.  then I must do the bedroom windows.  the weather is sunny and cloudy at the same time.  feels like rain.  I'm afraid to hang laundry outside.  I feel very alone.  I am also eating way too much.  maybe i'll make it out tomorrow.  water company called.  the toilet is running and I have to deal with it now.