The New Year Begins

it is 7:30 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  I just got back from walking my dog, tiny.  tiny is not small.  he has become a bull.  my friend picked up her dogs a couple of days before the holiday.  it is very quiet at Zelda's place these days.  tiny doesn't require a lot of attention.  he spends a lot of time in the closet of the costumes.  I managed to buy two new outfits for the holiday.  I thought they were white but they were actually off white. one is a lacey see through , sleeveless dress and the other is a very long layered meshy top.

the house is pretty clean, too.  no one is pishing on the floors these days.  I spent a lot of time cleaning the house for rosh hashana.  I bleached for days.  I changed all of the bedding in every room. my friend with a dog chose not to come for the holiday.  she thought we were having a heat wave and she chose to be alone.  it was warm here but there were breezes and at night it was actually, cold.

the kids also opted for walking home after the meals.  the grandkids slept over on Friday night but for most of the holiday I was alone.  it was very quiet and I didn't sleep that well.  the prayer service was 5 hours long the first day.  I was very uncomfortable and standing became painful.  the following morning it was 'only' 4 1/2 hours long.  it was not enjoyable.  I had to sit down.  my sciatic was acting up. it was an endurance test.

there was way too much food, too.  I didn't touch any honey cake and pretty much stuck to my regimen.  I did eat too much dried fruit and it poofed out my stomach. I went a bit crazy the last couple of days.  I ate 3 large dairy chocolate bars and I finished a tin of honey bars.  and then last night I had a bag of potato chips.  I am very tired and very nervous.  I haven't heard from the hospital about my brain surgery yet and just the thought of it is making me crazy. 

I fasted on sunday and went to the yeshiva in the afternoon to make them a supper to break their fast.  I got back at 6:00 p.m. and the fast ended at 7:00 p.m. I was pretty tired yesterday.  I went to the yeshiva at 4:00 p.m.  my uniform that I used to cook in is gone. I couldn't find an apron, either.  I do not like cooking in just clothes.  I fried up about 50 turkey patties yesterday and I came home reeking of oil.  my clothes are filthy.  I am not a happy camper.

  I was supposed to make hamburger stroganoff, whatever that is, and a carrot and squash loaf.  I just didn't feel like it.  I had no patience to look up the stroganoff recipe, either.  I couldn't get the food processor to work and I didn't feel like hand grating the vegetables.  I ended up cooking up a pot of boiled potatoes with a lot of oil and turmeric and a pot of plain rice.  I also made a small pot of zucchini with tomato sauce.  and I served turkey patties for the main, as they say on my Australian cooking shows.  the frying of 50 patties was very tiresome, too boot.

I was too tired to visit my friend after work.  I came home and pretty much collapsed on the t.v. couch.  I was too tired to eat a proper meal, too.  I had nashed on leftovers at the yeshiva.  I  had a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk.  I have to get back onto my food regimen, pronto, before I really blow it.  I don't really have much food in the house.  I get my check on Wednesday so I will be able to buy some food and get ready for yom kippur, which falls out on Shabbat.  I usually make a pre fast soup for the kids.  I bought frozen kreplach months ago.

I wanted to buy a kids' sukkah for the grandkids but I don't know if i'll be able to financially swing it.  I  think I get paid after the holidays.  I still have to get the adult sukkah put up.  I don't think i'll be entertaining much this season.  I don't feel like cooking again.  I over did it for rosh hashana..  I've been fighting a sore throat since before the holidays.  I gargled with peroxide which quieted it down a bit but I am beginning to cough again.

I am still upset about the fallout with my sister.  I spent the entire holiday thinking about the situation.  after all, the theme of the holidays is forgiveness.  I am sick about it.  I have very little peace of mind.  I am thinking about seeing a therapist.  I am too busy to relax.  I can't follow a story line on television and I can't seem to finish my book.  my back is acting up and it hurts to walk.  who knows? perhaps the brain surgery will get my mind off my family situation.

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