it is 7:30 a.m. in the holy city of safed. I just got back from walking my dog, tiny. tiny is not small. he has become a bull. my friend picked up her dogs a couple of days before the holiday. it is very quiet at Zelda's place these days. tiny doesn't require a lot of attention. he spends a lot of time in the closet of the costumes. I managed to buy two new outfits for the holiday. I thought they were white but they were actually off white. one is a lacey see through , sleeveless dress and the other is a very long layered meshy top.
the house is pretty clean, too. no one is pishing on the floors these days. I spent a lot of time cleaning the house for rosh hashana. I bleached for days. I changed all of the bedding in every room. my friend with a dog chose not to come for the holiday. she thought we were having a heat wave and she chose to be alone. it was warm here but there were breezes and at night it was actually, cold.
the kids also opted for walking home after the meals. the grandkids slept over on Friday night but for most of the holiday I was alone. it was very quiet and I didn't sleep that well. the prayer service was 5 hours long the first day. I was very uncomfortable and standing became painful. the following morning it was 'only' 4 1/2 hours long. it was not enjoyable. I had to sit down. my sciatic was acting up. it was an endurance test.
there was way too much food, too. I didn't touch any honey cake and pretty much stuck to my regimen. I did eat too much dried fruit and it poofed out my stomach. I went a bit crazy the last couple of days. I ate 3 large dairy chocolate bars and I finished a tin of honey bars. and then last night I had a bag of potato chips. I am very tired and very nervous. I haven't heard from the hospital about my brain surgery yet and just the thought of it is making me crazy.
I fasted on sunday and went to the yeshiva in the afternoon to make them a supper to break their fast. I got back at 6:00 p.m. and the fast ended at 7:00 p.m. I was pretty tired yesterday. I went to the yeshiva at 4:00 p.m. my uniform that I used to cook in is gone. I couldn't find an apron, either. I do not like cooking in just clothes. I fried up about 50 turkey patties yesterday and I came home reeking of oil. my clothes are filthy. I am not a happy camper.
I was supposed to make hamburger stroganoff, whatever that is, and a carrot and squash loaf. I just didn't feel like it. I had no patience to look up the stroganoff recipe, either. I couldn't get the food processor to work and I didn't feel like hand grating the vegetables. I ended up cooking up a pot of boiled potatoes with a lot of oil and turmeric and a pot of plain rice. I also made a small pot of zucchini with tomato sauce. and I served turkey patties for the main, as they say on my Australian cooking shows. the frying of 50 patties was very tiresome, too boot.
I was too tired to visit my friend after work. I came home and pretty much collapsed on the t.v. couch. I was too tired to eat a proper meal, too. I had nashed on leftovers at the yeshiva. I had a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk. I have to get back onto my food regimen, pronto, before I really blow it. I don't really have much food in the house. I get my check on Wednesday so I will be able to buy some food and get ready for yom kippur, which falls out on Shabbat. I usually make a pre fast soup for the kids. I bought frozen kreplach months ago.
I wanted to buy a kids' sukkah for the grandkids but I don't know if i'll be able to financially swing it. I think I get paid after the holidays. I still have to get the adult sukkah put up. I don't think i'll be entertaining much this season. I don't feel like cooking again. I over did it for rosh hashana.. I've been fighting a sore throat since before the holidays. I gargled with peroxide which quieted it down a bit but I am beginning to cough again.
I am still upset about the fallout with my sister. I spent the entire holiday thinking about the situation. after all, the theme of the holidays is forgiveness. I am sick about it. I have very little peace of mind. I am thinking about seeing a therapist. I am too busy to relax. I can't follow a story line on television and I can't seem to finish my book. my back is acting up and it hurts to walk. who knows? perhaps the brain surgery will get my mind off my family situation.
.
Monday, September 25, 2017
Thursday, September 14, 2017
The NewYear
it is 1:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed. my friend's dog woke me up about 5:30 a.m. I could not rouse myself out of bed. finally at 6:30 a.m. I took the 3 pooches out. the pain in my ear and jaw came back. I am beginning to think that it may be time to get the tumor out of my head. I started to clean the house for Shabbat and, of course, for the holidays. I put away the food I made yesterday for Rosh Hashanah. I cooked a small piece of beef in sweet wine and I made some spicy chicken and turkey meatballs. I decided to make a small batch of spicy beef meatballs; so as I cleaned, it cooked.
I know a lot of people who don't like to eat 'leftovers' straight out of the freezer. I don't tell anyone anymore when I cook. I am not working next week on Wednesday but I still wanted to get a head start on the food preparations. I am too tired right now to make a few honey cakes. I have a banana chocolate chip loaf in the oven. the kids are too tired to make Shabbat for themselves so I am hosting them for Friday night. I just made a pot of very spicy chicken soup for tomorrow night and the traditional Sephardi spicy red sauce fish. I used tuna and tilapia this time. I like my tuna. I made potato salad, tomato relish, spicy hot carrots and beet salad. I am planning on making humus tomorrow.
I went food shopping yesterday. I bought the various traditional veggies and fruits that we use for the holiday. and of course, I bought the two most important ingredients, honey and a fish head. we use beets and beet leaves, carrots, pumpkin, leeks, apples, black eyed peas, pomegranates, dates and fish for the pre meal ceremony. each food is dipped in honey. one year I made a fourth of a sheep's head. the kids were turned off. only my grandson and I tried it. it was yummy. the Sephardi grandma makes lungs. it's really tasty.
I haven't decided if I am going out for a meal yet. I am invited to join the clan but it will be super noisy. I don't know if my friend is coming with her dog or not. it is a pretty long holiday. it goes right into Shabbat. we are talking seven meals from Wednesday night til Saturday night. that's four days together. I am not looking forward to this at all. some people cook on Friday morning after services. I am hoping that I will have enough food so that I won't have to cook. I don't mind making salads but I don't like being on my feet in the kitchen after standing at services all morning long. I have to make a dinner meal for the yeshiva on sunday. it is a fast day.
I kind of ran out of money. I usually make a cheesecake but I think i'll skip it this time. I don't know if I have enough veggies to make it through the holiday. I have enough time to shop next week. I already bought a ton of rolls. they are in the freezer, of course. I may make a kugel or two if the eggs last. I didn't buy drinks. I can always ask the kids to get some. I have lots of grape juice but I don't have any wine. my son is usually in charge of getting choice wine. I cleaned the upstairs apartment so the kids can have privacy. they may even bring their cat. I want to clean the master bedroom soon before I go to work. are we having fun, yet?
I know a lot of people who don't like to eat 'leftovers' straight out of the freezer. I don't tell anyone anymore when I cook. I am not working next week on Wednesday but I still wanted to get a head start on the food preparations. I am too tired right now to make a few honey cakes. I have a banana chocolate chip loaf in the oven. the kids are too tired to make Shabbat for themselves so I am hosting them for Friday night. I just made a pot of very spicy chicken soup for tomorrow night and the traditional Sephardi spicy red sauce fish. I used tuna and tilapia this time. I like my tuna. I made potato salad, tomato relish, spicy hot carrots and beet salad. I am planning on making humus tomorrow.
I went food shopping yesterday. I bought the various traditional veggies and fruits that we use for the holiday. and of course, I bought the two most important ingredients, honey and a fish head. we use beets and beet leaves, carrots, pumpkin, leeks, apples, black eyed peas, pomegranates, dates and fish for the pre meal ceremony. each food is dipped in honey. one year I made a fourth of a sheep's head. the kids were turned off. only my grandson and I tried it. it was yummy. the Sephardi grandma makes lungs. it's really tasty.
I haven't decided if I am going out for a meal yet. I am invited to join the clan but it will be super noisy. I don't know if my friend is coming with her dog or not. it is a pretty long holiday. it goes right into Shabbat. we are talking seven meals from Wednesday night til Saturday night. that's four days together. I am not looking forward to this at all. some people cook on Friday morning after services. I am hoping that I will have enough food so that I won't have to cook. I don't mind making salads but I don't like being on my feet in the kitchen after standing at services all morning long. I have to make a dinner meal for the yeshiva on sunday. it is a fast day.
I kind of ran out of money. I usually make a cheesecake but I think i'll skip it this time. I don't know if I have enough veggies to make it through the holiday. I have enough time to shop next week. I already bought a ton of rolls. they are in the freezer, of course. I may make a kugel or two if the eggs last. I didn't buy drinks. I can always ask the kids to get some. I have lots of grape juice but I don't have any wine. my son is usually in charge of getting choice wine. I cleaned the upstairs apartment so the kids can have privacy. they may even bring their cat. I want to clean the master bedroom soon before I go to work. are we having fun, yet?
Wednesday, September 6, 2017
The Party's Over
it is 8:30 a.m. in the holy city of safed. yesterday evening I hosted a birthday party for my grandson, downstairs. last year the kids were in their new apartment and only had room for family members. now that we are on better terms, the party came back to my home. I pressured my son to come around in the morning to take down the pool. last year it stood outside during the winter, uncovered, catching rain water. it was pretty awful. we really needed the space for the party. I made him an offer he couldn't refuse.
it took about half an hour in all, to dismember the bars and clean the pool. I was left to put it back into the original box. I must have folded and refolded the pool three times but it was too heavy for me to lift. I couldn't get that sucker into the box, no how. I left it folded in a corner of the patio with the pool's ladder. I was concerned about having the ladder around kids. I actually found a family toddler attempting to climb it. no one else noticed but me. I also worried that there wouldn't be enough light outside when it got dark.
I spent hours downstairs washing down the patio and wet mopping the bathroom and hall floors. the place is huge. I cleared the laundry room, which is also very huge, of any objects left over from the party I threw before pesach. I was so concerned that the place look clean and smell good. I sprayed the bathroom for some time. the entire house smelled good. I schlepped down about a dozen or more chairs to the patio from the upstairs. I couldn't manage the two tables, by myself. I secluded the two dogs that I'm caring for into the master bedroom. I washed all the floors in my house, too. someone would for sure come upstairs to borrow something so I did all of the dishes left in the two sinks.
I couldn't stand anymore. my back was finished. I got ready to go to work at the yeshiva. I waited half an hour for the bus. I didn't feel like taking a cab. I searched the house for light bulbs. I was obsessed about lighting for the outdoors. I ran to a house goods store on my way to work to buy small halogen bulbs for the downstairs fixtures. I didn't know who would put them in for me. they are pretty high up on the wall. I obsessed all afternoon about these lights. the man in the store didn't know or care about what I was looking for. he was young and hungry and wanted to finish his sandwich.
I was too nervous to spend too much time cooking at the yeshiva. I worried that the dogs might get out while I was gone. instead of making a kugel, I made stewed potatoes. I took out a 9x11 pan of leftover tuna loaf to serve the young men for dinner. it was quite dense. the other cook suggested that I break it up and make it into fish patties. sure! I finished cooking some ratatouille, zelda style, cleaned up and left. I waited a half an hour for the bus to come home. I was very tempted to catch a cab but I resisted. I even caught a small shuttle bus in front of the yeshiva to catch another bus in town. it's about a 7minute walk but I was that tired.
I thought about stopping off at the supermarket to buy some bulbs but I went home directly, instead. the downstairs was very party like. the tables were all filled with prizes and candies and drinks and chocolate goodies. there were balloons strung everywhere. my daughter-in-law had two sisters and a very abled teenage brother helping her set up. I'm a one woman show. what ever I can't do doesn't get done. I have no help. I was delighted that the dogs were all intact except for the pincher. I think she is dying. she is no longer able to stand up on her hind legs and she stopped drinking and eating. I'm thinking about taking her to be put down tomorrow. who knows? perhaps they will shoot her up with steroids and she will revive.
I searched my drawer for bulbs one more time and lo and behold, I found a small halogen light bulb. I asked the teenage brother if he could put it in for me. I schlepped down the ladder and a few screwdrivers and voila! we had tons of light. I took a shower and made an effort to look nice. I even put on eyeliner and lip gloss. when I got downstairs, there were just a few kids. it was mostly family. I went upstairs to make some tea and the guests arrived en masse. there could have been 25 or more 8 year olds. they had a sound system and mike. the noise was unbearable for me. in just moments the patio was littered with wrapping paper, burst balloons, drinks, candy wrappers and loose candies. I thought to myself, why exactly, did I wash down the patio hours before? I guess I didn't want to offend anyone with the smell of dog pish or the sight of loose dirty leaves..
everyone got cold outside so the activities resumed in the house. within moments the house got trashed with candy wrappers, spilled drinks, wrapping paper, smashed salad and chocolate cake remains. one of the activities was frosting store bought cupcakes with hand made whipped cream icing. the Sephardi grandma was in charge of that activity. while the girls were decorating cupcakes in the kitchen, the boys were making bedlam in the laundry room. then the pizzas arrived. the place was super trashed with leftover ketchup wrappers and half eaten slices of pizza. the Israeli's love ketchup on their pizza. I stayed outside. I was a bit overwhelmed. I was picking up leftover pizza slices and eating them. I was so tired.
after the cupcake decorating and pizza the kids once again came outside and I was so pleased that the patio was well lit. the kids rode around on all sorts of wheeled toys. then the parents came to pick up the kids. the party bags were distributed and almost everyone left. the Sephardi family finally left and I told my daughter-in-law that I would clean up. I just wanted everyone to leave. I was exhausted. I needed to be alone. I needed to take the dogs for a walk. I threw out a ton of garbage and brought up drinks and leftover party bags..
I don't have an ounce of energy left in my body. I woke up late and took the doggies out at 7:30 a.m. I usually take them out at 6:00 a.m. I washed the front hall because someone pished and left a bit of doggie do. I don't blame them. I goofed up this morning. all in all, I do believe that my grandson actually enjoyed his party for a change. my daughter-in-law was in her element. she loves being the mc and really gets into these kids' activities. her family supports her and they all pick up the slack for her. my son stays out of sight until the end and then supplies beer for the few men present. he then slips away. this time he took home the loot. my grandson scored big time.
it took about half an hour in all, to dismember the bars and clean the pool. I was left to put it back into the original box. I must have folded and refolded the pool three times but it was too heavy for me to lift. I couldn't get that sucker into the box, no how. I left it folded in a corner of the patio with the pool's ladder. I was concerned about having the ladder around kids. I actually found a family toddler attempting to climb it. no one else noticed but me. I also worried that there wouldn't be enough light outside when it got dark.
I spent hours downstairs washing down the patio and wet mopping the bathroom and hall floors. the place is huge. I cleared the laundry room, which is also very huge, of any objects left over from the party I threw before pesach. I was so concerned that the place look clean and smell good. I sprayed the bathroom for some time. the entire house smelled good. I schlepped down about a dozen or more chairs to the patio from the upstairs. I couldn't manage the two tables, by myself. I secluded the two dogs that I'm caring for into the master bedroom. I washed all the floors in my house, too. someone would for sure come upstairs to borrow something so I did all of the dishes left in the two sinks.
I couldn't stand anymore. my back was finished. I got ready to go to work at the yeshiva. I waited half an hour for the bus. I didn't feel like taking a cab. I searched the house for light bulbs. I was obsessed about lighting for the outdoors. I ran to a house goods store on my way to work to buy small halogen bulbs for the downstairs fixtures. I didn't know who would put them in for me. they are pretty high up on the wall. I obsessed all afternoon about these lights. the man in the store didn't know or care about what I was looking for. he was young and hungry and wanted to finish his sandwich.
I was too nervous to spend too much time cooking at the yeshiva. I worried that the dogs might get out while I was gone. instead of making a kugel, I made stewed potatoes. I took out a 9x11 pan of leftover tuna loaf to serve the young men for dinner. it was quite dense. the other cook suggested that I break it up and make it into fish patties. sure! I finished cooking some ratatouille, zelda style, cleaned up and left. I waited a half an hour for the bus to come home. I was very tempted to catch a cab but I resisted. I even caught a small shuttle bus in front of the yeshiva to catch another bus in town. it's about a 7minute walk but I was that tired.
I thought about stopping off at the supermarket to buy some bulbs but I went home directly, instead. the downstairs was very party like. the tables were all filled with prizes and candies and drinks and chocolate goodies. there were balloons strung everywhere. my daughter-in-law had two sisters and a very abled teenage brother helping her set up. I'm a one woman show. what ever I can't do doesn't get done. I have no help. I was delighted that the dogs were all intact except for the pincher. I think she is dying. she is no longer able to stand up on her hind legs and she stopped drinking and eating. I'm thinking about taking her to be put down tomorrow. who knows? perhaps they will shoot her up with steroids and she will revive.
I searched my drawer for bulbs one more time and lo and behold, I found a small halogen light bulb. I asked the teenage brother if he could put it in for me. I schlepped down the ladder and a few screwdrivers and voila! we had tons of light. I took a shower and made an effort to look nice. I even put on eyeliner and lip gloss. when I got downstairs, there were just a few kids. it was mostly family. I went upstairs to make some tea and the guests arrived en masse. there could have been 25 or more 8 year olds. they had a sound system and mike. the noise was unbearable for me. in just moments the patio was littered with wrapping paper, burst balloons, drinks, candy wrappers and loose candies. I thought to myself, why exactly, did I wash down the patio hours before? I guess I didn't want to offend anyone with the smell of dog pish or the sight of loose dirty leaves..
everyone got cold outside so the activities resumed in the house. within moments the house got trashed with candy wrappers, spilled drinks, wrapping paper, smashed salad and chocolate cake remains. one of the activities was frosting store bought cupcakes with hand made whipped cream icing. the Sephardi grandma was in charge of that activity. while the girls were decorating cupcakes in the kitchen, the boys were making bedlam in the laundry room. then the pizzas arrived. the place was super trashed with leftover ketchup wrappers and half eaten slices of pizza. the Israeli's love ketchup on their pizza. I stayed outside. I was a bit overwhelmed. I was picking up leftover pizza slices and eating them. I was so tired.
after the cupcake decorating and pizza the kids once again came outside and I was so pleased that the patio was well lit. the kids rode around on all sorts of wheeled toys. then the parents came to pick up the kids. the party bags were distributed and almost everyone left. the Sephardi family finally left and I told my daughter-in-law that I would clean up. I just wanted everyone to leave. I was exhausted. I needed to be alone. I needed to take the dogs for a walk. I threw out a ton of garbage and brought up drinks and leftover party bags..
I don't have an ounce of energy left in my body. I woke up late and took the doggies out at 7:30 a.m. I usually take them out at 6:00 a.m. I washed the front hall because someone pished and left a bit of doggie do. I don't blame them. I goofed up this morning. all in all, I do believe that my grandson actually enjoyed his party for a change. my daughter-in-law was in her element. she loves being the mc and really gets into these kids' activities. her family supports her and they all pick up the slack for her. my son stays out of sight until the end and then supplies beer for the few men present. he then slips away. this time he took home the loot. my grandson scored big time.
Friday, September 1, 2017
Even More Tired
it is 3:30 p.m. in the holy city of safed. I spent 3 hours washing the floors and changing the linens in my house this morning. it is just too doggy here. I was able to clean out all the dog hair, pish and doggie droppings all over the house. I am dog sitting for my friend's two small pinchers and they are a hand full. there are currently two female and two male dogs co existing here. my female pincher is very old and on her way out, I believe. she has become incontinent and can barely walk. she pishes and leaves droppings wherever she stands.
I cannot see having her putdown just yet. she doesn't seem to be in pain. she makes it outside and to the end of the street. I may have to leave her on the bedroom porch in her doggie bed. she seems to enjoy the company of the other dogs. perhaps she has gone senile. the two males got into a loud scuffle this morning. I was not pleased. my male has been hiding in the costume closet all day. I just fed them so I will be able to take them out for a walk before Shabbat.
the kids came back from their five day holiday trip on Wednesday. I had them for about four hours yesterday before I went to the yeshiva to make dinner for the students. I am cooking for 12 these days. it takes about 2 hours to make the meal an additional hour or more to wash the pots and put away the leftovers. it amounts to about 3 hours on my feet. I am truly feeling it in my back. yesterday I came home after 7:00 p.m. I fed the dogs and raced out. they had a celebratory meal at the Sephardi synagogue for a new sefer torah. they had a ceremony earlier in the evening for the fallen soldiers at the local high school.
I was starving and looked forward to a good meal. we went to the house where the torah was brought the night before. I wasn't hungry at all. the hostess, who lost her young son in the army two years ago, served a vegetarian couscous. I tasted the veggies and had a few raisins, and nuts. last night I really went for it. I ate a huge roll and finished a plate of humus with spicy chopped meat. they brought out the schnitzel after 9:00 p.m. my friend split. even tough, I don't eat after 8:00 p.m. I didn't care last night. they brought out little cubes of very spicy meat with chick peas. this is a Sephardi delicacy: lungs. I actually love it. I pretty much finished off the whole bowl at my table. at 10:00 p.m. they started bringing out platters of rice and potatoes and couscous. I left.
I walked the 3 dogs and then collapsed in bed. I sleep with 3 dogs now. I didn't feel so well last night. I was actually naceous. that's what you get for eating tons of lungs late at night. I felt fine this morning. one of the dogs woke me up at around 6;00 a.m. and not very gently. I took the 3 out on leashes. my pincher can't keep up with us on a walk. we got back a half an hour later. it was quite cool and breezy. I decided to take a 'power' walk by myself. I seem to have high blood pressure now. I made it only about a couple of blocks away. I couldn't get myself to climb the hill to the top of the neighborhood.
I walked around a bit for another half an hour and made it to the supermarket. I bought a few pieces of fruit and eggs and some items that were on sale before the holidays. I also bought a package of 5 grain tortillas. they are extremely thin and delicious. I didn't make a thing for Shabbat. I kind of wangled an invite out of my kids and friends. so I am set. I put up hot water in case I want a tea and I made banana oatmeal silver dollar pancakes. I love having a few before I go to synagogue. I don't eat muffins or cake anymore.
I need a rest and I need a shower and I need to walk the dogs. I wonder if i'll get a rest today. candle lighting is in about 2 hours.
I cannot see having her putdown just yet. she doesn't seem to be in pain. she makes it outside and to the end of the street. I may have to leave her on the bedroom porch in her doggie bed. she seems to enjoy the company of the other dogs. perhaps she has gone senile. the two males got into a loud scuffle this morning. I was not pleased. my male has been hiding in the costume closet all day. I just fed them so I will be able to take them out for a walk before Shabbat.
the kids came back from their five day holiday trip on Wednesday. I had them for about four hours yesterday before I went to the yeshiva to make dinner for the students. I am cooking for 12 these days. it takes about 2 hours to make the meal an additional hour or more to wash the pots and put away the leftovers. it amounts to about 3 hours on my feet. I am truly feeling it in my back. yesterday I came home after 7:00 p.m. I fed the dogs and raced out. they had a celebratory meal at the Sephardi synagogue for a new sefer torah. they had a ceremony earlier in the evening for the fallen soldiers at the local high school.
I was starving and looked forward to a good meal. we went to the house where the torah was brought the night before. I wasn't hungry at all. the hostess, who lost her young son in the army two years ago, served a vegetarian couscous. I tasted the veggies and had a few raisins, and nuts. last night I really went for it. I ate a huge roll and finished a plate of humus with spicy chopped meat. they brought out the schnitzel after 9:00 p.m. my friend split. even tough, I don't eat after 8:00 p.m. I didn't care last night. they brought out little cubes of very spicy meat with chick peas. this is a Sephardi delicacy: lungs. I actually love it. I pretty much finished off the whole bowl at my table. at 10:00 p.m. they started bringing out platters of rice and potatoes and couscous. I left.
I walked the 3 dogs and then collapsed in bed. I sleep with 3 dogs now. I didn't feel so well last night. I was actually naceous. that's what you get for eating tons of lungs late at night. I felt fine this morning. one of the dogs woke me up at around 6;00 a.m. and not very gently. I took the 3 out on leashes. my pincher can't keep up with us on a walk. we got back a half an hour later. it was quite cool and breezy. I decided to take a 'power' walk by myself. I seem to have high blood pressure now. I made it only about a couple of blocks away. I couldn't get myself to climb the hill to the top of the neighborhood.
I walked around a bit for another half an hour and made it to the supermarket. I bought a few pieces of fruit and eggs and some items that were on sale before the holidays. I also bought a package of 5 grain tortillas. they are extremely thin and delicious. I didn't make a thing for Shabbat. I kind of wangled an invite out of my kids and friends. so I am set. I put up hot water in case I want a tea and I made banana oatmeal silver dollar pancakes. I love having a few before I go to synagogue. I don't eat muffins or cake anymore.
I need a rest and I need a shower and I need to walk the dogs. I wonder if i'll get a rest today. candle lighting is in about 2 hours.
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