it is 7:00 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. it is sunny but quite cold. my house is already cold. it's probably warmer outside in the sum. i had to cancel my doctors appointments last week. while i was out with my grandson i developed something close to a sciatic nerve attack. i stood up after sitting for a couple of hours, while he played in a padded gym for tots. something wasn't right.
i had an enormous pain in my cheek butt and suddenly walking was painful. i managed to walk/limp over to my sister's apartment nearby. she was getting the house in order for a visit from her son and new daughter-in-law so we went downstairs to play. after pushing him for a while on a swing, i was desperate to get home and lie down.
i have been in bed since. it is too painful to walk. i haven't gotten dressed or washed. i am a mess. i did get out one more time with him for an hour. i took a cab to the padded gym and returned home in a taxi. i was in bad shape. the kids made shabbat meals this week. i only made rice, corn , cheesecake and a chocolate tea loaf. it doesn't hurt for me to stand in one place. lately though, lying down has been painful. i still haven't popped any pills. what's wrong with me?
i need to get over to the doctor for some paper work. i still haven't been reimbursed for the private driver who took me back home form the hospital in march. they are refusing to deal with me. i do not have the strength to deal with them, either. i should go over to the social worker today but i just can't. i had to cancel the brain surgeon and gyn/oncologist last week. i was in no shape to travel and i didn't have the money to pay for a driver. i feel like a loser.
i wrote to the homeopath but she really hasn't commented on my last set back. we have been blessed with quite a bit of rain lately. the garden is looking lovely. all the succulents have opened up again. maybe the oranges will grow a bit larger. they are the size of tangerines right now. i really should go downstairs and pick some today. it's a lovely and sunny day. i don't know why i'm still in pain. the weather has definitely, cleared up. it is however, quite cold.
my son had his 27th birthday this week and i was in no shape to celebrate. i couldn't get out to buy anything nor could i bake a cake. i simply gave his wife a hundred shekel note to buy him a small cake and some balloons. i watched the little kids while the big kids went out for a bit. it was hard for me. i was in pain and the kids were being too rough with me. i am a bit down. all i do is stuff my face all day. i'm afraid to get near a scale. i haven't dressed or washed in days. i'm a bit pathetic.
my son disconnected my maytag washing machine last week. he hooked up their little one and you need to be down on the ground to open it. my maytag wasn't really working well and my daughter-in-law had to suffer stains and dark lint on the baby clothes. now everything is bright and white. except for my things. i don't know how to use their washing machine and haven't had the time to learn how. i feel like, once again, my life is out of control.