it is 8:00 a.m. in the holy city of Zefat. today is the 4th day of Chanuka. the gans are on vacation so i have my grandson with me until around 4:00 p.m. i volunteered to take him to a theater in town for a chabad presentation at noon. although it is only a five minute walk form the bus stop, we will cab it to be safe. i haven't attempted to take him to town after a disastrous time with him a couple of years ago. i am a bit apprehensive to take him today.
my thanksgiving/chanukah meal went well. we were only seven at the table. in the past i usually had a large crowd, but i simply can't get one together anymore. this friend is diabetic, and this friend is working evenings, and this one's husband is out of town, and this one doesn't do well in a crowd, etc. this was a small gathering and a cozy one at that. i didn't have to open up the table and scramble for chairs. it was comfortable for each person.
i made sure to have a fun trivia quiz about both holidays and chocolate coins to sweeten the deal. some of the questions were sheer silliness but i wanted a light evening. it prevented a lull in the conversation. we didn't do the usual 'what do you have to be thankful for' round robbin this time. we were all thankful to be alive, warm, comfortable, and well fed. we were all thankful for a couple of hours of good cheer and food and fun company. it was my parents' anniversary and i was thankful for all they did for me and the fond holiday memories.
i had the grandson all day with me on thursday. i hadn't been asked, either. i spent a good couple of hours washing the floors and straightening up the house. since i had pneumonia, papers and toys and clothes as well as, dirt and dog hairs piled up all over the place. i found myself trying to do a pesach clean up. it was difficult to set the table and do the floors with a little 4 year old active boy running around and getting in my way. i was not a happy camper or grandma.
i had a few turkey napkins left from former years. i don't know what i'll do next year. the supply is gone. i still have my paper thanksgiving table cloth that i didn't use this year out of respect for chanukah. the food was pretty good, if i do say so myself. the applesauce which was frozen beforehand was just right. the cranberry sauce was thick and jellied. it wasn't too sweet but a bit tart. i actually prayed for it to taste good. the turkey wings and meatballs were good, not that i had many. the corn bread was a hit although i didn't go for it. no one really touched the cranberry muffins. perhaps it was overkill. the string beans and almonds was a welcomed side dish. the sage kosher 'sausage' rice dressing with chestnuts and cranberries was a big hit. i served the rest on shabbat and even the sephardi daughter-in-law liked it.
i struggled with making sweet potato latkes. they simply were not frying up. they kept on falling apart. i totally forgot how to make latkes. even after i had a long conversation with my sister the latke maven, i wasn't able to produce one latke. i finally threw the greasy mushy mess into a loaf pan and added a couple of eggs. voila! we had a tasty sweet potato kugel. i had almost the same results with the corn fritters. i persevered and made many very thin and greasy fritters. they were actually a hit.
i struggled at the last minute to make the pumpkin custard. i really didn't care anymore. i should have pureed it better because it baked into a very runny and very unappealing looking dish. i tossed most of it. even though it was topped off with a scoop of pareve shipped cream it was untouched. i think that's it with pumpkin desserts for me. my pumpkin cake was not much better received last year. fortunately, everyone was too full to complain or comment about the custard. also, a good friend arrived with a huge box of jelly donuts with fancy icing to boot. no one missed the pumpkin pie.
i was totally wiped out by the time the guests arrived. i had planned on making a green salad. it never happened. i hurriedly cut up some red and yellow peppers and threw cherry tomatoes in to a dish. i did make a mayonnaise dressing. i had wanted to make russian dressing but the kids had made off with my bottle of ketchup. i somehow relaxed during the meal. i ended up eating two enormous jelly donuts later that night after i did the clean up. it was basically washing the dishes. adults do not trash your house after a meal.
i woke up on friday and i was wasted. i had to visit the cemetery. it was the 5th anniversary of my mother's passing. i was planning on going with my sister but i had to leave early. my son couldn't go with me because he holds the custom of not visiting a cemetery during chanukah. i took a taxi and literally stayed for about 5 minutes. i cleaned both my parents' graves and had a good cry. i lit memorial candles, said a quick psalm and went to town. i had to exchange the bedroom slippers that i had bought for my granddaughter. i wasted over an hour in the process.
i went to a small grocery and bought goodies. i decided that in my mother's honor i would make a great shabbat. i splurged. i got home at noon. i quickly sprang into action as shabbat candle lighting was at 4:00 p.m. i made a cholent with beef and chicken and used barley and wheat. i fried up some chicken breasts. i had a problem again. i think using an electric burner just isn't the best for frying. i cooked up a small piece of niles perch fish in a spicy sephardi sauce. i served egg salad, corn salad, a green salad, guacamole, and two types of chumus. i asked my daughter-in-law to make the red cabbage salads as i was losing steam. i served the rice dressing and i made some oven fried white and sweet potatoes.
i made a cheesecake using instant butterscotch pudding instead of the vanilla kind. i had a banana loaf cake leftover from thanksgiving that got overshadowed by the donuts. i made raspberry jello with non dairy whipped cream. i bought almond sticks, watermelon seeds and pumpkin seeds. i even sprung for kedem grape juice. there was plenty of beer and a bottle of wine leftover from last shabbat. i got the chanukiah ready for lighting and i was ready to collapse.
the daughter-in-law went to shul and left the two kids with me. they were carrying on and the little one was crying and screaming until i screamed at her to shut up. i didn't get to shower. i had a cranberry and vodka cocktail and did the dishes. i didn't let the grandson sleep over. i needed to relax. i didn't fall asleep until almost 11:00 p.m. i was pretty wasted in the morning. but the day went well. i gave the kids chanuka cards and their mother played with them for a while. lunch was tasty and then everyone napped while i read psalms. shabbat ended at 5:00 p.m. and i went to bed and watched t.v. i watched a great movie although i was falling asleep during most of it.
the house is trashed. i am too tired too clean it. the heat wave is officially over and the weather has turned cold. it is windy and definitely feels like winter today. the grandson is anxious to get going. the chanukah show isn't until noon. i need a hot shower and some amphetamine. wish me luck.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Gobble Gobble Spin The Draidel
it is 8:00 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. tonight is the first night of chanukah. i don't know yet if the kids will be here or not. i can always fry up some latkes if they come around. i have yams, pumpkin and sweet potatoes to work with. i can also fry up some greek yogurt puff donuts in a blink of an eye. i bought both kids a chanukah package of sweets and i still have a reserve of chocolate lollies in the freezer. i really need to buy some cheap gifts, too.
i have to pick up my grandson from gan later on today. we usually go to the playground until the daughter-in-law picks us up. so far the weather has been fine. in fact, we are in the middle of a heatwave. they call it a sherav, a desert wind. no snow for us right now. santa is definitely not in the equation here. we'll just have to wait until we try on our new ugh boots this year.
my grandson visited me at 6:00 a.m. i managed to rest until he requested his morning hot chocolate. the dogs had already made in the hallway. i start each day by sponging down the hallway. i need to wash the floors but i am still a bit tired. if only i could drink some coffee. the smell still revulses me.
i finally took my remedy on sunday. for a moment i felt totally well. i felt my lungs opening up and i didn't feel sick. it was then followed by an overwhelming fatigue and i couldn't get out of bed. all i could do was sleep. the kids finally made a birthday party for the 2 year old granddaughter on thursday. i made a cheesecake and about 15 large chocolate lollies. the noise level was out of control. my head was splitting. i spent a lot of time talking to our new yorker shabbat guest, who was invited to the party. i then escaped to the upstairs.
i came down after the party was over for some cake. i started binging again and have hit the sugar and carbs pretty hard lately. i helped straighten up a bit and went back upstairs and watched some t.v. i spent the entire friday on my feet cooking shabbat meals. i started at 9:00 a.m. and finished at 4:00 p.m. our guest was a gluten free vegan. my daughter-in-law, being sephardi, had no clue how to cook for a vegetarian, never mind vegan. and you can forget about gluten free.
zelda doesn't ever back down from a culinary challenge. i made a gluten free egg less chocolate cake and a corn bread. the secret here being soy milk and vinegar. i made white rice, white potatoes, fresh corn, fried eggplant and a pumpkin soup. i made a cabbage salad without mayonnaise dressing. and of course, i made one with mayonnaise. i also made a vegetarian cholent with canned beans and chickpeas and potatoes for his lunch. i made the usual fish, chicken and meat cholent for the rest of us, as well as a regular coconut loaf cake. the kids tasted the egg less chocolate cake made with rice flour and spit it out. the guest loved it. in spite of the strange consistency, it tasted yummy and fudgy. thank goodness that he ate sugar and didn't know what night shades are!.
after shabbat, i was back in bed for a few days. my throat feels a bit scratchy and i seem to have a bit of heart burn. i don't know if this is from the remedy or a remnant of the pneumonia. maybe it's all the junk that i've been gorging on. who knows? i have been busy making a thanksgiving chanukah feast for tomorrow night. i have a non dairy cornbread, banana bread and a dozen cranberry muffins in the freezer. i even froze my homemade applesauce. i can use any leftover sauce to make a cake. these non american kids hate applesauce. they think it's baby food. my sister's american lot think of it as geriatric food. i think of it as a must serve traditional side dish for latkes.
i made up a pot of very spicy turkey wings and meatballs last night. i used up all of the leftover dry red wine in the fridge and added a packet of sweet chili sauce and some tomato paste. sugar. i also made up a batch of cranberry sauce. i used the tangerines from the back yard instead of orange juice. because i didn't water the garden, they are the size of cherry tomatoes. however, they do have a lot of juice but are a bit tart. i used tons of sugar and added apples as well as some dried cranberries. i had one heck of a headache last night and i'm not sure if it was from the msg in the chili sauce or the escessive amount of sugar in the cranberries.
i've already cooked up some pumpkin to make a baked custard. i don't feel like fussing with making a pie crust. i don't have any ramekins so i cut out individual aluminum muffin tins. they might be too small but how much dessert do we really need. i bought some pareve whip cream to top them off. for sure, that is asking for a headache. are we having fun yet!
i have leftover rice so i'm making a sage sausage dressing with kebobs. i have been on the web all week looking up recipes. i thought about making a rice pudding but in the end, i'm making a rice dressing. i bought lettuce, red cabbage and cherry tomatoes to make a salad. i also have avocado to make guacomole. i need something fried. i think people are expecting sweet potatoes too. i want to make corn fritters but i forgot to buy corn. the local store was out of cooked chestnuts. i'll buy the corn on my way to pick up my grandson. i know this is way too much food, but the beauty of it all, is that the next day is shabbat and i won't have to cook again.
Chanukah sameach and Happy thanksgiving!
i have to pick up my grandson from gan later on today. we usually go to the playground until the daughter-in-law picks us up. so far the weather has been fine. in fact, we are in the middle of a heatwave. they call it a sherav, a desert wind. no snow for us right now. santa is definitely not in the equation here. we'll just have to wait until we try on our new ugh boots this year.
my grandson visited me at 6:00 a.m. i managed to rest until he requested his morning hot chocolate. the dogs had already made in the hallway. i start each day by sponging down the hallway. i need to wash the floors but i am still a bit tired. if only i could drink some coffee. the smell still revulses me.
i finally took my remedy on sunday. for a moment i felt totally well. i felt my lungs opening up and i didn't feel sick. it was then followed by an overwhelming fatigue and i couldn't get out of bed. all i could do was sleep. the kids finally made a birthday party for the 2 year old granddaughter on thursday. i made a cheesecake and about 15 large chocolate lollies. the noise level was out of control. my head was splitting. i spent a lot of time talking to our new yorker shabbat guest, who was invited to the party. i then escaped to the upstairs.
i came down after the party was over for some cake. i started binging again and have hit the sugar and carbs pretty hard lately. i helped straighten up a bit and went back upstairs and watched some t.v. i spent the entire friday on my feet cooking shabbat meals. i started at 9:00 a.m. and finished at 4:00 p.m. our guest was a gluten free vegan. my daughter-in-law, being sephardi, had no clue how to cook for a vegetarian, never mind vegan. and you can forget about gluten free.
zelda doesn't ever back down from a culinary challenge. i made a gluten free egg less chocolate cake and a corn bread. the secret here being soy milk and vinegar. i made white rice, white potatoes, fresh corn, fried eggplant and a pumpkin soup. i made a cabbage salad without mayonnaise dressing. and of course, i made one with mayonnaise. i also made a vegetarian cholent with canned beans and chickpeas and potatoes for his lunch. i made the usual fish, chicken and meat cholent for the rest of us, as well as a regular coconut loaf cake. the kids tasted the egg less chocolate cake made with rice flour and spit it out. the guest loved it. in spite of the strange consistency, it tasted yummy and fudgy. thank goodness that he ate sugar and didn't know what night shades are!.
after shabbat, i was back in bed for a few days. my throat feels a bit scratchy and i seem to have a bit of heart burn. i don't know if this is from the remedy or a remnant of the pneumonia. maybe it's all the junk that i've been gorging on. who knows? i have been busy making a thanksgiving chanukah feast for tomorrow night. i have a non dairy cornbread, banana bread and a dozen cranberry muffins in the freezer. i even froze my homemade applesauce. i can use any leftover sauce to make a cake. these non american kids hate applesauce. they think it's baby food. my sister's american lot think of it as geriatric food. i think of it as a must serve traditional side dish for latkes.
i made up a pot of very spicy turkey wings and meatballs last night. i used up all of the leftover dry red wine in the fridge and added a packet of sweet chili sauce and some tomato paste. sugar. i also made up a batch of cranberry sauce. i used the tangerines from the back yard instead of orange juice. because i didn't water the garden, they are the size of cherry tomatoes. however, they do have a lot of juice but are a bit tart. i used tons of sugar and added apples as well as some dried cranberries. i had one heck of a headache last night and i'm not sure if it was from the msg in the chili sauce or the escessive amount of sugar in the cranberries.
i've already cooked up some pumpkin to make a baked custard. i don't feel like fussing with making a pie crust. i don't have any ramekins so i cut out individual aluminum muffin tins. they might be too small but how much dessert do we really need. i bought some pareve whip cream to top them off. for sure, that is asking for a headache. are we having fun yet!
i have leftover rice so i'm making a sage sausage dressing with kebobs. i have been on the web all week looking up recipes. i thought about making a rice pudding but in the end, i'm making a rice dressing. i bought lettuce, red cabbage and cherry tomatoes to make a salad. i also have avocado to make guacomole. i need something fried. i think people are expecting sweet potatoes too. i want to make corn fritters but i forgot to buy corn. the local store was out of cooked chestnuts. i'll buy the corn on my way to pick up my grandson. i know this is way too much food, but the beauty of it all, is that the next day is shabbat and i won't have to cook again.
Chanukah sameach and Happy thanksgiving!
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Just A Perfect Day
it is 7:30 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. i have an appointment to see my homeopath at noon. i am hoping to get a remedy to strengthen my immune system. i have never gone in for bee pollen or echinesia. i tend not to do well with herbal products. i feel strange going homeopathic after such a long time. i initially took a remedy last december to help with the radiation treatments.
i felt too polluted when i returned from the hospital to get a remedy. i was so traumatized from all the hospitalization, that i simply hid in my house for 9 months and tried to heal by osmosis. i see now that it was a huge mistake. i felt like i had let homeopathy down. i felt like a traitor. i realize now that i really hindered my recovery by not eating well and taking a remedy.
i recently was diagnosed with pneumonia. i took a round of two different antibiotics and stayed in bed for about two weeks. i lost my voice three times. i insisted on having long telephone conversations which were painful for me and for my friends who had to listen to me violently cough. i sounded like a fog horn. my voice would fade in and out of the conversation. by not being active, i put on a bunch of weight when i finally started eating. this is not good. i didn't feel as sick as i imagined i would with pneumonia, but i was very depressed. at first, i couldn't do much but sleep. i didn't drink liquids, take vitamin c and garlic, or gargle with salt. i was very passive. i felt defeated. i ate way too much sugar. i read that dark chocolate was good so i over did it. i had bought a block of cheap chocolate to make lollies for chanukah but i managed to eat it all during my convalescence.
i didn't see the kids much but i did do a couple of babysitting stints at night. i was feeling almost well on thursday. the kids asked if i could make shabbat meals for them. my daughter-in-law made shabbat the week before. i went to the store all by myself. it was the first time that i left the house in weeks. i spent a small fortune on shabbat treats and drinks. i cleaned the entire house. i did the floors. i had friends coming from efrat for the night so i made up the bedrooms. i even baked a chocolate cake.
we made a barbecue and a couple of friends came over to join us. my daughter-in-law went out with a gal pal. the boys did a karaoke performance for us. we were all pretty silly and loose. i hadn't seen my efrat friends in nearly two years. it was a good night. we gabbed until the wee hours of the morning. i got most of the meal done early. my daughter-in-law came down with a strong throat virus and was down for the count. i kept the kids with me so she could sleep.
by saturday she was in bad shape. at least, at night she was able to eat. in the morning she couldn't swallow. she couldn't do much of anything. my grandson slept with me on friday might. he woke up at 6:00 a.m. and was ready for chocolate milk and cake. my granddaughter came up shortly after with a diaper in hand. my son sent her up to her grandmother to change her poopy diaper. talk about your chutzpa! i kept the kids with me until shabbat was over.
yesterday my throat felt scratchy and sore. i stayed in bed. my son called to ask me to pick up my grandson from kindergarten. my daughter-in-law ended up driving me to pick up the kids form their perspective gans. they stayed with me until my son came home from work. i bathed them together in the tub and fed them. the house is now completely trashed but i am in no shape to clean it. i had a strange dream about moving back to town. it was so dramatic. i can't imagine leaving my house and neighborhood at this point in time. at least it will be something to discuss with the homeopath. they really like dreams.
i have to go to tel aviv tomorrow for the brain MRI and to see the gyn/oncologist. i want to cancel. i am very tired. i can't imagine travelling so far. i don't have the energy to call to reschedule the appointments. i still have not been reimbursed for the taxi rides from march. my medical carrier is definitely playing games with me. i simply, do not have the money to take a driver tomorrow. i guess i have to gird my loins and just do it or else, cancel in the morning. pneumonia is a pretty good excuse.
i got an email form one of the yeshiva students that i knew while i was cooking there. he is now in jerusalem and sounds like he is doing well. this young man was quite a character in his 'youth'. he has the tattoos all over his arms and legs to testify to it. still, he was one of my favorite guys. we sparred a bit but i definitely felt him. we only went head to toe once, and i didn't back down. he reminds me a lot of myself.
i recently heard that lou reed had died. he was one of my favorite artists and songwriters. he was also a jew. he lived to be 71. that's pretty amazing for someone who was so self destructive as himself. i read that in later years he did tia chi . i pray that he rests in peace. once again, i am humbled that i have survived my past and recent illness. praise the Lord!!!
i felt too polluted when i returned from the hospital to get a remedy. i was so traumatized from all the hospitalization, that i simply hid in my house for 9 months and tried to heal by osmosis. i see now that it was a huge mistake. i felt like i had let homeopathy down. i felt like a traitor. i realize now that i really hindered my recovery by not eating well and taking a remedy.
i recently was diagnosed with pneumonia. i took a round of two different antibiotics and stayed in bed for about two weeks. i lost my voice three times. i insisted on having long telephone conversations which were painful for me and for my friends who had to listen to me violently cough. i sounded like a fog horn. my voice would fade in and out of the conversation. by not being active, i put on a bunch of weight when i finally started eating. this is not good. i didn't feel as sick as i imagined i would with pneumonia, but i was very depressed. at first, i couldn't do much but sleep. i didn't drink liquids, take vitamin c and garlic, or gargle with salt. i was very passive. i felt defeated. i ate way too much sugar. i read that dark chocolate was good so i over did it. i had bought a block of cheap chocolate to make lollies for chanukah but i managed to eat it all during my convalescence.
i didn't see the kids much but i did do a couple of babysitting stints at night. i was feeling almost well on thursday. the kids asked if i could make shabbat meals for them. my daughter-in-law made shabbat the week before. i went to the store all by myself. it was the first time that i left the house in weeks. i spent a small fortune on shabbat treats and drinks. i cleaned the entire house. i did the floors. i had friends coming from efrat for the night so i made up the bedrooms. i even baked a chocolate cake.
we made a barbecue and a couple of friends came over to join us. my daughter-in-law went out with a gal pal. the boys did a karaoke performance for us. we were all pretty silly and loose. i hadn't seen my efrat friends in nearly two years. it was a good night. we gabbed until the wee hours of the morning. i got most of the meal done early. my daughter-in-law came down with a strong throat virus and was down for the count. i kept the kids with me so she could sleep.
by saturday she was in bad shape. at least, at night she was able to eat. in the morning she couldn't swallow. she couldn't do much of anything. my grandson slept with me on friday might. he woke up at 6:00 a.m. and was ready for chocolate milk and cake. my granddaughter came up shortly after with a diaper in hand. my son sent her up to her grandmother to change her poopy diaper. talk about your chutzpa! i kept the kids with me until shabbat was over.
yesterday my throat felt scratchy and sore. i stayed in bed. my son called to ask me to pick up my grandson from kindergarten. my daughter-in-law ended up driving me to pick up the kids form their perspective gans. they stayed with me until my son came home from work. i bathed them together in the tub and fed them. the house is now completely trashed but i am in no shape to clean it. i had a strange dream about moving back to town. it was so dramatic. i can't imagine leaving my house and neighborhood at this point in time. at least it will be something to discuss with the homeopath. they really like dreams.
i have to go to tel aviv tomorrow for the brain MRI and to see the gyn/oncologist. i want to cancel. i am very tired. i can't imagine travelling so far. i don't have the energy to call to reschedule the appointments. i still have not been reimbursed for the taxi rides from march. my medical carrier is definitely playing games with me. i simply, do not have the money to take a driver tomorrow. i guess i have to gird my loins and just do it or else, cancel in the morning. pneumonia is a pretty good excuse.
i got an email form one of the yeshiva students that i knew while i was cooking there. he is now in jerusalem and sounds like he is doing well. this young man was quite a character in his 'youth'. he has the tattoos all over his arms and legs to testify to it. still, he was one of my favorite guys. we sparred a bit but i definitely felt him. we only went head to toe once, and i didn't back down. he reminds me a lot of myself.
i recently heard that lou reed had died. he was one of my favorite artists and songwriters. he was also a jew. he lived to be 71. that's pretty amazing for someone who was so self destructive as himself. i read that in later years he did tia chi . i pray that he rests in peace. once again, i am humbled that i have survived my past and recent illness. praise the Lord!!!
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
What's New?
it is 5:45 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. i got up about an hour ago. i woke up with a spasmodic coughing fit. i nearly threw up. i've been coughing for over a week. for the most part, it had been a dry and annoying cough. both grand kids seemed to have this last week.
it developed into a very wet cough and i've been spitting up phlegm all week long. it doesn't end. i lost my voice twice this week. i have been in bed all week. i think i had a fever during the week but i didn't make any attempt to measure it. i just lie in bed all day long. i didn't have the kids with me at all this week. i watched them for about an hour yesterday. they haven't come running up here all week. i wonder if kids sense illness.
my grandson didn't understand why i was talking in a whisper. i had the longest, almost silent, phone conversation of my life yesterday. my voice would come out for a few words and then fade. it was all too painful. a long time acquaintance died this week after undergoing a bypass surgery. i couldn't make it to the funeral. the weather has taken a turn for the fall. it is windy and cold now.
i have heard that there have been some earthquakes in zefat lately. haven't really felt them up here. i finally made a doctor's appointment for this morning. i think it may be time to start antibiotics, not that i am sure about being able to swallow any. i haven't been drinking much this week. the only thing that felt good was hot chocolate.
i didn't take out the ginger or gargle with lemon or anything else home remedy-like. i just ignored it. not a very pro active choice. i think i've more or less given up. i tried drinking tea but it aggravates my stomach. my entire body hurts. my throat is seriously irritated. i am not a good patient at all. i'm like an old dog. i stay in my space and keep still. i hope i don't have to go to the hospital for tests today. i am not in the mood to ravel.. i accepted an appointment close to home, with a not so great doctor, because i didn't want to go to town.
i didn't call for a home visit because they send mickey mouse russian doctors who are useless. no offense meant to the russian community. i don't even know all the words in hebrew to explain my symptoms. i am not in my element here. at the hospital in tel aviv, i get by solely in english. the nurses and office staff get peeved at english speakers. doctors generally, are impressed. they think they are dealing with a better class of people. like who doesn't want to speak english? most israeli english students, for one.
i am in no shape to make shabbat for the kids. if they want to stay home they can take whatever they need from my freezer and cook it themselves. i am done. i need to get into the shower. i reek! i heard through my sister that my ex male suitor was texting her about putting me on certain prayer lists. i didn't understand why he couldn't text me directly so i texted him a thank you. i was 'enlightened' that it wasn't proper to contact each other once the arranged shidduch was over. he did however, make an exception, this one time, out of a charitable disposition, because it dealt with a medical situation. and to think, that i still miss his company????
i finally did my dishes this morning. both sinks were over loaded. i somehow managed to wash the floors in the middle of the week. i think that i was feeling almost well one day. by that, i mean, one day when i wasn't burning up or feeling faint, i did the floors. i had lots of leftovers from shabbat, so the dogs and i ate well. the dogs ate better than i did. the smell of the meat and chicken made me nauseous. i ate the cooked veggies and sauce. i only lost a couple of pounds. i was counting on getting thin once again.
i am not looking forward to going to the doctor. i received a notice from the medical carrier that they were refunding me $50. i put in receipts for over $600. some things never change. that acquaintance who died this week, was also doing a paper tail to recover his severance and sick day benefits. he was owed thousands of dollars and was getting the old bureaucratic runaround. that couldn't have been soothing to his heart. having this looming over him couldn't have been healing. i'm hoping that justice will be done for him, even after his death.
it developed into a very wet cough and i've been spitting up phlegm all week long. it doesn't end. i lost my voice twice this week. i have been in bed all week. i think i had a fever during the week but i didn't make any attempt to measure it. i just lie in bed all day long. i didn't have the kids with me at all this week. i watched them for about an hour yesterday. they haven't come running up here all week. i wonder if kids sense illness.
my grandson didn't understand why i was talking in a whisper. i had the longest, almost silent, phone conversation of my life yesterday. my voice would come out for a few words and then fade. it was all too painful. a long time acquaintance died this week after undergoing a bypass surgery. i couldn't make it to the funeral. the weather has taken a turn for the fall. it is windy and cold now.
i have heard that there have been some earthquakes in zefat lately. haven't really felt them up here. i finally made a doctor's appointment for this morning. i think it may be time to start antibiotics, not that i am sure about being able to swallow any. i haven't been drinking much this week. the only thing that felt good was hot chocolate.
i didn't take out the ginger or gargle with lemon or anything else home remedy-like. i just ignored it. not a very pro active choice. i think i've more or less given up. i tried drinking tea but it aggravates my stomach. my entire body hurts. my throat is seriously irritated. i am not a good patient at all. i'm like an old dog. i stay in my space and keep still. i hope i don't have to go to the hospital for tests today. i am not in the mood to ravel.. i accepted an appointment close to home, with a not so great doctor, because i didn't want to go to town.
i didn't call for a home visit because they send mickey mouse russian doctors who are useless. no offense meant to the russian community. i don't even know all the words in hebrew to explain my symptoms. i am not in my element here. at the hospital in tel aviv, i get by solely in english. the nurses and office staff get peeved at english speakers. doctors generally, are impressed. they think they are dealing with a better class of people. like who doesn't want to speak english? most israeli english students, for one.
i am in no shape to make shabbat for the kids. if they want to stay home they can take whatever they need from my freezer and cook it themselves. i am done. i need to get into the shower. i reek! i heard through my sister that my ex male suitor was texting her about putting me on certain prayer lists. i didn't understand why he couldn't text me directly so i texted him a thank you. i was 'enlightened' that it wasn't proper to contact each other once the arranged shidduch was over. he did however, make an exception, this one time, out of a charitable disposition, because it dealt with a medical situation. and to think, that i still miss his company????
i finally did my dishes this morning. both sinks were over loaded. i somehow managed to wash the floors in the middle of the week. i think that i was feeling almost well one day. by that, i mean, one day when i wasn't burning up or feeling faint, i did the floors. i had lots of leftovers from shabbat, so the dogs and i ate well. the dogs ate better than i did. the smell of the meat and chicken made me nauseous. i ate the cooked veggies and sauce. i only lost a couple of pounds. i was counting on getting thin once again.
i am not looking forward to going to the doctor. i received a notice from the medical carrier that they were refunding me $50. i put in receipts for over $600. some things never change. that acquaintance who died this week, was also doing a paper tail to recover his severance and sick day benefits. he was owed thousands of dollars and was getting the old bureaucratic runaround. that couldn't have been soothing to his heart. having this looming over him couldn't have been healing. i'm hoping that justice will be done for him, even after his death.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Voting in Zefat
it is 4:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. today is the mayoral election in zefat. i haven't decided if i want to vote or not. unlike the rest of the anglos in the old city, i don't have any issues. my neighborhood is clean and the garbage is picked up pretty regularly. they haven't destroyed any trees up here, either. i guess i am complacent when it comes to the local elections.
zefat is known for having a corrupt city government. the majority of past mayors were under house arrest for absconding with city funds. i have been here for nearly 30 years and i can't say that i have witnessed any real progress. we do have a lot more people living here these days than in the past. it has created a backlog in the bureaucracy.
i got up early to do some errands. my grandson joined me at 6:30 a.m. he was wet from pishing in his bed. he wouldn't let me shower him so i washed him with a damp cloth. he had a field trip because all of the gans were being used as voting places. i went straight to the social worker this morning. she helped me compose a note to the medical carrier to accept my invoice for a couple of taxi fares back from the hospital. we shall see if they finally reimburse me or not. i still have three trips that i haven't recieved invoices for.
i then took a cab down to town to the national insurance office. it was completely empty. it was very surreal. usually by 9:00 a.m. it is already full and quite noisy. i felt an outer body experience there. there were only two other people there besides myself. i was told that i did get my monthly stipend yesterday.. somehow, it didn't show up on my bank print out. i proceeded to the water company and paid one bill. apparently, i missed another bill. i don't remember receiving it. it will have to wait until the new year to be paid. i was the sole person at the water company too.
i then made my way over to the bank. it was also pretty empty. i picked up my checkbooks and strolled over to the city tax office. i was once again, the only person there. i paid my real estate taxes plus late penalties and went on to the medical clinic to pay my health insurance bill. as i was leaving the bank, the clerk warned me that i mustn't bounce any more checks. i tried to 'enlighten' her that most of the damage was done while i was away from zefat undergoing chemotherapy in tel aviv. she made a call for me but i don't really know what was said. or resolved. i had to pay a small ransom in bank charges lately.
i ran into my best gal pal and we went out for chocolate milkshakes. how yummy was that! she had to get back to work so we didn't have a lot of time to schmooze. i did some window shopping. i was looking for chanukah coloring books or props. i didn't see any. i ran into a few acquaintances and discussed my past illness and treatment for a while. i waited for the bus to get back home. i t was getting late and i needed to get to my grandson's gan. it turns out that there weren't any buses running at the bus stop so i cabbed it. i had the driver wait for me because i was spent by then.
we came home and i bathed my grandson. i had bought him a jelly donut but the dog ran off with it. what a bitch! we munched out on some great whole wheat rolls and his mommy came home. they all went out to the park. i'm pretty tired. i was expecting a female border next week. someone saw my ad for the upstairs apartment and thought it would be great for this gal. i really thought it was a done deal but it isn't going to work out. most people prefer to live downtown.
in the winter, it's colder but a lot drier up here. the houses in the old city tend to be moist and moldy in the winter. i really didn't have the energy to clean the upstairs but i sure was counting on the money. this is an old story. something has to give.
zefat is known for having a corrupt city government. the majority of past mayors were under house arrest for absconding with city funds. i have been here for nearly 30 years and i can't say that i have witnessed any real progress. we do have a lot more people living here these days than in the past. it has created a backlog in the bureaucracy.
i got up early to do some errands. my grandson joined me at 6:30 a.m. he was wet from pishing in his bed. he wouldn't let me shower him so i washed him with a damp cloth. he had a field trip because all of the gans were being used as voting places. i went straight to the social worker this morning. she helped me compose a note to the medical carrier to accept my invoice for a couple of taxi fares back from the hospital. we shall see if they finally reimburse me or not. i still have three trips that i haven't recieved invoices for.
i then took a cab down to town to the national insurance office. it was completely empty. it was very surreal. usually by 9:00 a.m. it is already full and quite noisy. i felt an outer body experience there. there were only two other people there besides myself. i was told that i did get my monthly stipend yesterday.. somehow, it didn't show up on my bank print out. i proceeded to the water company and paid one bill. apparently, i missed another bill. i don't remember receiving it. it will have to wait until the new year to be paid. i was the sole person at the water company too.
i then made my way over to the bank. it was also pretty empty. i picked up my checkbooks and strolled over to the city tax office. i was once again, the only person there. i paid my real estate taxes plus late penalties and went on to the medical clinic to pay my health insurance bill. as i was leaving the bank, the clerk warned me that i mustn't bounce any more checks. i tried to 'enlighten' her that most of the damage was done while i was away from zefat undergoing chemotherapy in tel aviv. she made a call for me but i don't really know what was said. or resolved. i had to pay a small ransom in bank charges lately.
i ran into my best gal pal and we went out for chocolate milkshakes. how yummy was that! she had to get back to work so we didn't have a lot of time to schmooze. i did some window shopping. i was looking for chanukah coloring books or props. i didn't see any. i ran into a few acquaintances and discussed my past illness and treatment for a while. i waited for the bus to get back home. i t was getting late and i needed to get to my grandson's gan. it turns out that there weren't any buses running at the bus stop so i cabbed it. i had the driver wait for me because i was spent by then.
we came home and i bathed my grandson. i had bought him a jelly donut but the dog ran off with it. what a bitch! we munched out on some great whole wheat rolls and his mommy came home. they all went out to the park. i'm pretty tired. i was expecting a female border next week. someone saw my ad for the upstairs apartment and thought it would be great for this gal. i really thought it was a done deal but it isn't going to work out. most people prefer to live downtown.
in the winter, it's colder but a lot drier up here. the houses in the old city tend to be moist and moldy in the winter. i really didn't have the energy to clean the upstairs but i sure was counting on the money. this is an old story. something has to give.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Thanksgiving This Year
it is 5:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i went to pick up by grandson from gan a little while ago. i seem to be doing that a lot lately. fortunately, the weather has been warm and i have enjoyed the 15 minute sprint down to the gan. we usually, spend a half an hour at the park and then we get picked up by my daughter-in-law.
earlier, i went to town to pay my health insurance bill. my payment was returned by the bank. they returned quite a few checks this month and it cost me over $70 in penalties. i still have not received a disability check since late july. i am totally caught up in the inane bureaucracy of the government here. i have taken emergency loans am i am still deeply into debt. i have several outstanding bills that simply cannot be paid. this is just par for the course here. i hear it's getting pretty insane in america too.
i am feeling pretty good despite a cold. what can i expect being around the kids all the time. they're all coughing and they all have runny noses. i have a bit of color these days form being outside a lot. i do not look sick anymore. i have a bunch of appointments coming up soon. there's a gyn/oncologist and a brain MRI in november. there's a brain surgeon appt. and another pet scan in december. and then it's back to the radiologist in january. are we having fun yet?
i still have thousands of shekels worth of taxi fares that i didn't get back from my medical carrier and about 8000 shekels from the national insurance that i'm owed. i don't have enough stamina to deal with all of these offices. i ordered check books weeks ago, and i found out yesterday that the bank never reordered them. i feel overwhelmed. i can't seem to keep track of all of this balagon. i am only concentrating on this year's first night of chanukah, which happens to be thanksgiving. that seems to be the only thing i can relate to. it's the first time that these two dates coincide since 1885.
i try to plan the menu and look up recipes on a daily basis. my computer will not let me into most cooking sites. i want the meal this year to be traditional for both events. i have my paper turkey table cloth, my straw turkey bread basket and some turkey napkins left over from past years. i already made white chocolate dreidel and chanukiah lollipops. i still have the dark chocolate ones to prepare. i also have dreidel shaped salt and pepper shakers. i need to place a small chanukiah on the table for show. i thought about using 8 of the lollipops to create a chanukiah effect.
i bought a small bag of cornmeal to make the traditional cornbread. i have dried cranberries that i may add to the cabbage salad. i already bought turkey wings and frozen whole cranberries. i have an old challah in the freezer that i can turn into sage and sausage bread stuffing. i bought two kinds of kabobs that will take the place of the sausage. i am still dreaming about making a pumpkin pie. who knows? maybe i actually will. this year. last year i made a pumpkin cake. it was dreadful. i saved and froze enough clear chicken soup from a shabbat meal to add to the bread stuffing.
i need to do something fried to keep up with the chaukah tradition. that leaves making either corn fritters, or potato latkes. i'm toying with the idea of making pumpkin latkes. i did it one year and they were a big hit. i'll probably fry chicken cutlets for that shabbat meal. i'm also thinking about making stuffed baked sweet potatoes. everything is possible. i want to make a chestnut soup but i think that would be overkill. i have a recipe for fried cookie bow ties. i don't know if i'll want to kill myself with this project or not.
i wish i could buy a prepared pie crust but they only have graham cracker ones and they really aren't good for pumpkin pies. i'm also considering making a non baked kind of pumpkin pie using vanilla pudding. i'll have to investigate some more recipes. in the meanwhile, i need to see the social worker from my medical carrier and the clerk at the national insurance tomorrow. that should take the entire morning to deal with both these issues for sure. i have to get my grandson from gan at 2:00 p.m. which puts me under even more pressure. i also need to go to the electric company which is at the far end of town which is an expensive taxi ride.
the shabbat after thanksgiving is the 6th anniversary of my mothers passing. i would like to arrange a kiddish for her in the little chabad bomb shelter but i don't know if my finances will be in better order by then. i know that i am a bit ahead of myself but that's what i always do. i'm thinking of tu b'shvat after chanukah. and i think of chanukah after sukkot. it's funny but i haven't begun to think about purim yet.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Hanging In There
it is nearly 1:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i just had my plumber friend come out to check my rooftop apartment. i want to build a staircase and separate entrance to create a rental. i have been talking about doing this for the last few years. unfortunately, i have no savings left to pay for this. i will have to take a bank loan and will probably not see any profit for years. the plumber thinks it will cost a huge amount of money.
i was counting on not spending more than $10,000. the way he's tallking this could be well over 30,000. i am still trying to pursue female boarders. it's really a great space upstairs. i am running out of options to raise money. i am considering the option of moving upstairs myself and renting out my apartment.. that would be very hard. just the idea of packing up all my belongings makes me sick. i would have to exit through the downstairs apartment where the kids live basically, for free. yes, sacrifices would have to be made by all of us.
i realistically, don't see myself getting a job right now. i still have to undergo brain surgery. i recieved some cash from my siblings to help me get through the immediate 'crunch'. first thing i did was to fill up the freezer. i bought lots of inexpensive fowl. i bought tons of chicken hotdogs, hamburgers, lamb kabobs, chicken bones, cheap steaks, turkey wings, and chopped turkey. i even got some fish. when in doubt or debt, buy food. i actually spent about $200. that should get me through the winter, food wise. that of course, does not include veggies or fruit.
i had to pick up my grandson from kindergarten yesterday. i walked down to the gan. it was an easy 15 minute walk downhill. i was happy to do it. i even got a lift home with one of the mothers. i made a big mistake in taking the grandkid to the super. i wanted to buy some hot chocolate mix and tea. i thought it would wear him out. it nearly kiled me. first, he got his 'mitts' on a sticker book of 'trash people'. that's his new fixation. i immediately took it out of his hands and explained that i didn't have enough money to buy it for him.. it was 20 shekels. it could make a nice chanukah gift.
he immediately threw himself on to the ground and stated to cry. i ignored him and went off to find the tea. he grabbed another copy of the sticker book and started to open it. i confiscated the second book and placed it high up on the shelf. he again hit the floor and srarted crying. i tried to ignore him and went off to find the cocolate mix. he once again found, yet, another sticker book and started to open it. i got it away from him but it was a struggle. i think i gave him a potch on his backside.
he was thirsty so i bought him a punch-banana flavored milk. i found him a seat and told him to stay put and to drink. he managed to 'aquire' some more items that he wanted to buy. he held onto a small vile of tick tacks. i refused to buy it for him so he ran off and started eating them. i didn't want to buy them but i felt as a matter of principle, that i was obligated to. i refussed to let him have them so he once again, threw an enormous fit. there was no one else in the store besides the manager and the cashier, so i let him scream. i wanted to kill him. i momentarily hated him and had the most awful thoughts about hurting him when i caught up with him. .
the little brat was hiding and i could not find him. i knew that he hadn't made it out of the store but i could not see him. i checked the bathrooms and even climbed upstirs to the manager's office. he was out of sight. i waited over a half an hour until i saw him. and then, he ran away once again. i must have been in that store for over an hour. i felt like such a fool. he finally caught up with me but he threw another fit when i refused to give him the tick tacks. i don't know how i dragged him off of the floor and out of the store. he then became one with the pavement and i left him. i walked away but of course, i kept on coming back to get him up.
it took another half an hour of my screaming at him to get him home. i actually gave him one gigantic smack on his back. i was aiming for the backside but missed. i then grabbed him by his arms and somehow shlepped him up the stairs. by the time we got home he was over his fit. i was fit to be tied. i took him to the local playground and he was pretty active. we got back home and i decided to take him and his baby sister to a neighbor's house, where they were dedicating a new torah scroll to the local shul. it was quite cold outside but i couldn't confine the two kids in the house. there were many people milling about and the kids were not happy being indoors.
outside, my grandson helped himself to cookies and peanuts. he climbed on to a small tree and was happy being outdoors. i don't think the people outside were so happy with him climbing the tree. my grandaughter was a royal pain in the neck. she took a tumble down some stairs, as i was shlepping the stroller up the stairs. luckily, she wasn't hurt. i was beside myself. i finally managed to get her to stop crying for a little while but i decided to take them home. this was not the place for them. i was sorry that i took them out. the two of them are simply not fit for human consumption. i can manage them in the house in front of the t.v. set. going out with them is a nightmare. they are a pair of wild indians. they are wolverine like. i am actually embarrassed to be seen with them. some proud grandma i am!
my grandson told his father last night that he had caused me 'problems' in the super. i tried my best to explain to him that taking candy and sticker books without permission and money is tantamount to stealing. i refused to give him any tick tacks last night. he came upstairs for the package of tick tacks this morning.. i only gave him two and he threw a fit in the car on his way to kindergarten. his mother insisted that he doesn't get away with any of this shtick on her watch. first thing this morning, he came into their bedroom and pished on their rug. my son was beside himself. wanted to know if the kid needs a shrink. i think i need one.
i was counting on not spending more than $10,000. the way he's tallking this could be well over 30,000. i am still trying to pursue female boarders. it's really a great space upstairs. i am running out of options to raise money. i am considering the option of moving upstairs myself and renting out my apartment.. that would be very hard. just the idea of packing up all my belongings makes me sick. i would have to exit through the downstairs apartment where the kids live basically, for free. yes, sacrifices would have to be made by all of us.
i realistically, don't see myself getting a job right now. i still have to undergo brain surgery. i recieved some cash from my siblings to help me get through the immediate 'crunch'. first thing i did was to fill up the freezer. i bought lots of inexpensive fowl. i bought tons of chicken hotdogs, hamburgers, lamb kabobs, chicken bones, cheap steaks, turkey wings, and chopped turkey. i even got some fish. when in doubt or debt, buy food. i actually spent about $200. that should get me through the winter, food wise. that of course, does not include veggies or fruit.
i had to pick up my grandson from kindergarten yesterday. i walked down to the gan. it was an easy 15 minute walk downhill. i was happy to do it. i even got a lift home with one of the mothers. i made a big mistake in taking the grandkid to the super. i wanted to buy some hot chocolate mix and tea. i thought it would wear him out. it nearly kiled me. first, he got his 'mitts' on a sticker book of 'trash people'. that's his new fixation. i immediately took it out of his hands and explained that i didn't have enough money to buy it for him.. it was 20 shekels. it could make a nice chanukah gift.
he immediately threw himself on to the ground and stated to cry. i ignored him and went off to find the tea. he grabbed another copy of the sticker book and started to open it. i confiscated the second book and placed it high up on the shelf. he again hit the floor and srarted crying. i tried to ignore him and went off to find the cocolate mix. he once again found, yet, another sticker book and started to open it. i got it away from him but it was a struggle. i think i gave him a potch on his backside.
he was thirsty so i bought him a punch-banana flavored milk. i found him a seat and told him to stay put and to drink. he managed to 'aquire' some more items that he wanted to buy. he held onto a small vile of tick tacks. i refused to buy it for him so he ran off and started eating them. i didn't want to buy them but i felt as a matter of principle, that i was obligated to. i refussed to let him have them so he once again, threw an enormous fit. there was no one else in the store besides the manager and the cashier, so i let him scream. i wanted to kill him. i momentarily hated him and had the most awful thoughts about hurting him when i caught up with him. .
the little brat was hiding and i could not find him. i knew that he hadn't made it out of the store but i could not see him. i checked the bathrooms and even climbed upstirs to the manager's office. he was out of sight. i waited over a half an hour until i saw him. and then, he ran away once again. i must have been in that store for over an hour. i felt like such a fool. he finally caught up with me but he threw another fit when i refused to give him the tick tacks. i don't know how i dragged him off of the floor and out of the store. he then became one with the pavement and i left him. i walked away but of course, i kept on coming back to get him up.
it took another half an hour of my screaming at him to get him home. i actually gave him one gigantic smack on his back. i was aiming for the backside but missed. i then grabbed him by his arms and somehow shlepped him up the stairs. by the time we got home he was over his fit. i was fit to be tied. i took him to the local playground and he was pretty active. we got back home and i decided to take him and his baby sister to a neighbor's house, where they were dedicating a new torah scroll to the local shul. it was quite cold outside but i couldn't confine the two kids in the house. there were many people milling about and the kids were not happy being indoors.
outside, my grandson helped himself to cookies and peanuts. he climbed on to a small tree and was happy being outdoors. i don't think the people outside were so happy with him climbing the tree. my grandaughter was a royal pain in the neck. she took a tumble down some stairs, as i was shlepping the stroller up the stairs. luckily, she wasn't hurt. i was beside myself. i finally managed to get her to stop crying for a little while but i decided to take them home. this was not the place for them. i was sorry that i took them out. the two of them are simply not fit for human consumption. i can manage them in the house in front of the t.v. set. going out with them is a nightmare. they are a pair of wild indians. they are wolverine like. i am actually embarrassed to be seen with them. some proud grandma i am!
my grandson told his father last night that he had caused me 'problems' in the super. i tried my best to explain to him that taking candy and sticker books without permission and money is tantamount to stealing. i refused to give him any tick tacks last night. he came upstairs for the package of tick tacks this morning.. i only gave him two and he threw a fit in the car on his way to kindergarten. his mother insisted that he doesn't get away with any of this shtick on her watch. first thing this morning, he came into their bedroom and pished on their rug. my son was beside himself. wanted to know if the kid needs a shrink. i think i need one.
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