it is 7:30 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. i have an appointment to see my homeopath at noon. i am hoping to get a remedy to strengthen my immune system. i have never gone in for bee pollen or echinesia. i tend not to do well with herbal products. i feel strange going homeopathic after such a long time. i initially took a remedy last december to help with the radiation treatments.
i felt too polluted when i returned from the hospital to get a remedy. i was so traumatized from all the hospitalization, that i simply hid in my house for 9 months and tried to heal by osmosis. i see now that it was a huge mistake. i felt like i had let homeopathy down. i felt like a traitor. i realize now that i really hindered my recovery by not eating well and taking a remedy.
i recently was diagnosed with pneumonia. i took a round of two different antibiotics and stayed in bed for about two weeks. i lost my voice three times. i insisted on having long telephone conversations which were painful for me and for my friends who had to listen to me violently cough. i sounded like a fog horn. my voice would fade in and out of the conversation. by not being active, i put on a bunch of weight when i finally started eating. this is not good. i didn't feel as sick as i imagined i would with pneumonia, but i was very depressed. at first, i couldn't do much but sleep. i didn't drink liquids, take vitamin c and garlic, or gargle with salt. i was very passive. i felt defeated. i ate way too much sugar. i read that dark chocolate was good so i over did it. i had bought a block of cheap chocolate to make lollies for chanukah but i managed to eat it all during my convalescence.
i didn't see the kids much but i did do a couple of babysitting stints at night. i was feeling almost well on thursday. the kids asked if i could make shabbat meals for them. my daughter-in-law made shabbat the week before. i went to the store all by myself. it was the first time that i left the house in weeks. i spent a small fortune on shabbat treats and drinks. i cleaned the entire house. i did the floors. i had friends coming from efrat for the night so i made up the bedrooms. i even baked a chocolate cake.
we made a barbecue and a couple of friends came over to join us. my daughter-in-law went out with a gal pal. the boys did a karaoke performance for us. we were all pretty silly and loose. i hadn't seen my efrat friends in nearly two years. it was a good night. we gabbed until the wee hours of the morning. i got most of the meal done early. my daughter-in-law came down with a strong throat virus and was down for the count. i kept the kids with me so she could sleep.
by saturday she was in bad shape. at least, at night she was able to eat. in the morning she couldn't swallow. she couldn't do much of anything. my grandson slept with me on friday might. he woke up at 6:00 a.m. and was ready for chocolate milk and cake. my granddaughter came up shortly after with a diaper in hand. my son sent her up to her grandmother to change her poopy diaper. talk about your chutzpa! i kept the kids with me until shabbat was over.
yesterday my throat felt scratchy and sore. i stayed in bed. my son called to ask me to pick up my grandson from kindergarten. my daughter-in-law ended up driving me to pick up the kids form their perspective gans. they stayed with me until my son came home from work. i bathed them together in the tub and fed them. the house is now completely trashed but i am in no shape to clean it. i had a strange dream about moving back to town. it was so dramatic. i can't imagine leaving my house and neighborhood at this point in time. at least it will be something to discuss with the homeopath. they really like dreams.
i have to go to tel aviv tomorrow for the brain MRI and to see the gyn/oncologist. i want to cancel. i am very tired. i can't imagine travelling so far. i don't have the energy to call to reschedule the appointments. i still have not been reimbursed for the taxi rides from march. my medical carrier is definitely playing games with me. i simply, do not have the money to take a driver tomorrow. i guess i have to gird my loins and just do it or else, cancel in the morning. pneumonia is a pretty good excuse.
i got an email form one of the yeshiva students that i knew while i was cooking there. he is now in jerusalem and sounds like he is doing well. this young man was quite a character in his 'youth'. he has the tattoos all over his arms and legs to testify to it. still, he was one of my favorite guys. we sparred a bit but i definitely felt him. we only went head to toe once, and i didn't back down. he reminds me a lot of myself.
i recently heard that lou reed had died. he was one of my favorite artists and songwriters. he was also a jew. he lived to be 71. that's pretty amazing for someone who was so self destructive as himself. i read that in later years he did tia chi . i pray that he rests in peace. once again, i am humbled that i have survived my past and recent illness. praise the Lord!!!