it is 8:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed. i am cold and i am tired. we are about 16 days away from our spring holiday, pesach; or as we call it, jewish spring cleaning. i just am not into it this year. i did clear out my refrigerator and i wiped down the freezer. i went shopping and the freezer is stocked with fish, chicken and chopped beef and turkey. the price of beef was extraordinarily high so i passed. i don't know if the kids will make it to safed for the pesach seder. the higher ups will probably put a lockdown in effect for the holiday. they are opening up the mauls, schools, restaurants, pools and hotels for those who have been vaccinated but will keep families from celebrating the jewish holiday together.
i have had about enough of the politics of covid and cannot stand it any longer. i have not been vaccinated. i am still on the fence. there are a lot of people here who are in the same boat. i think that 60% of the israeli population are still not vacinated. i am also through with restaurants, movie theaters, mauls, pools and crowds. i will never change now. i am turning 70 in july. i am used to wearing a mask. i have learned that i like to eat my own food and that i like the quiet. i do not miss being in the public. i do not plan on ever working again. i am waiting for my social security to kick in. i am adjusted to this new world covid order. i go to the supermarket once a week and sometimes i take a long stroll.
i take my dogs out three times a day. we don't leave the neighborhood. i am nervous about stray dogs. my male dog has become aggressive and he is an alpha male dog looking for a fight. he drags me along the street and yanks my arm when he sees a cat. we have dozens of street cats. the city has not picked up the strays for nearly a year now. there are cats and kittens all over the neighborhood. my dog is crazed. i keep him on a leash now. i let him out when we had the snow storm a while back because there were no people around. during the last lockdown i didn't see any of my neighbors. most of them have recovered from covid or have been vaccinated.
pretty soon they will restrict us non vaccinated, unpatriotic, free thinkers from using public transportation. it's just a matter of time. this all gives me a headache. it tires me out. it makes me want to take to my bed until covid ends. i went to jerusalem last week to celebrate purim with my kids. the entire sephardi clan was there, too. i got a ride but because the police put up roadblocks to curtail travelers; it took us 4 1/2 hours to get there. the next morning i travelled for 3 1/2 hours to make my hospital appointment in the tel aviv area. i stayed in bed for 3 days after. travelling is a bitch.
i am too cold to throw around buckets of water. i used heavy duty disposable wipes to clean my sofa. they were hotel fragranced. the room smells lovely. i don't think i will do all the windows this year. i also do not have access to my washing machine. so i will not get to do all of my laundry before pesach. i truthfully, do not care. i lost one of my dearest friends, before shabbat. i am bleeding. i am sore. i am defeated and i am more vulnerable than i want to admit to. i struggle to stand up. my baby sister passed away in august. my wounds are still open and now this. this is the way it is. we have to grab onto every moment of joy and happiness when we can. we can't take one another for granted.
i try not to make any plans. i try to be open and stay flexible. maybe i will see my kids on pesach and maybe i won't. maybe i will invite another unvaccinated single lady to join me here. i will do my best to get the house cleaned and hope that i will not be alone again this pesach. i keep going over possible menu plans in my head. that is how i roll; always making plans and exhausting myself. i still need to buy hand made round matzahs, pesach dog chow, eggs, vegetables and fruits and a package of unshelled walnuts. i shopped early to beat the crowds. i spent a small fortune. welcome to our second pesach in covid.
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