it is 8:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed. i just broke my 12 hour fast with banana 'pancakes'. it's 2 eggs and one banana and a splash of cinnamon. they are actually pretty filling. the dogs had their morning oatmeal and milk. i ended up sharing my pancakes with them, too. i am now enjoying a cup of my new favorite tea, Bengal, by celestial seasonings. it has a very strong cinnamon taste. i find that i need to add almond milk. i couldn't stand it at first and now I'm addicted. it's yummy.
tonight is the 11th anniversary of my mom's passing. i want to buy some treats for the guys at the yeshiva so that they can say blessings on her behalf. i thought about buying the customary fried donuts, that we eat at Chanukah time, but it will be a small fortune to buy 20. i think i'll go with nuts and dried fruits and chocolates. it is also a custom to eat dairy. i toyed with the idea of baking a cheese cake this morning, but quite frankly, I'm too tired. i am waiting to hear from the kids if i can go to them for Shabbat.
i bought tons of LOL, marvel and fortnite toys for the kids. i spent a true fortune. while i was in the hospital a month ago, i bought a fortnite monopoly set for $60. the LOL stuff was just as expensive. i can't wait to see the kids and give them their gifts. i have an out Shabbat this week from the yeshiva and i don't have to work on Thursday or Sunday. i want to get out of 'dodge' as soon as possible. we are expecting another addition to the clan soon and this might make or break my chance of seeing the grown up kids this week. i am trying to be as zen as possible and not sweat it. it is what it is.
the world as i knew it, is no longer mine. i am an alien. i am an antique. i am pushing 70 and i ain't cutting it at all. i am still able to cook at the yeshiva but i am too tired to do anything afterwards. i pulled out most of my costumes to help my friend, who is doing a play. most of them were too small and not appropriate for her. i think she was annoyed that i wasted her time. whatever she rejected, i threw away. i am tired of storing all of this crap. i did keep a few things and the kids' costumes from last year. the daughter-in-law recycles them and hands them out to her sister's kids or friends.
some of these things i used to wear when i was skinny, back in the day. i have finally lost the extra 20 pounds that i gained last year, when the kids moved away from safed. i am not aiming for being thin, again. i just want to be able to navigate without the huge stomach and behind and fit into my clothes. most of my skirts are a bit loose. i am not interested in weighing myself or checking out my dress size. in fact, the outfit i wore in the picture on my blog, was from my son's engagement party. that was nearly 11 years ago. it fits again, but i gave it to my friend. i am not really a navy blue kind of gal. i wore the skirt on Rosh Hashanah but i am not mad about it. i need to buy some new things.
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