Raining

it is 6:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  it is cold and rainy.  they had a hail storm downtown today.  I finally took down the sukkah this morning.  it did look threatening so I went into action.  my son had taken off the bamboo roof covering a few days ago.  the material , which I've had for over 20 years, was pretty dirty.  I threw it into the washing machine on a gentle cycle.  it survived.  it doesn't look brand new but it doesn't smell bad now.  it only took me about an hour to take down all the decorations, dismember the bars and wash the material. 

I am pretty tired these days.  I had the grandkids almost every day during the holiday.  I also cooked almost every day which is a lot for me.  I went through all my cooking job money pretty fast.  I spent a fortune on food and treats for Shabbat and holiday meals.  if I need to make shabbat for the kids it will be a simple meal.  I have some wings and chop meat in the freezer.

it is it is 8:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  I just got back from walking, tiny, the medium sized terrier.  he likes being on a leash now.  the major problem is that there are many loose dogs around in this area and they all want to war with tiny.  it doesn't help that he growls at every 4 legged creature, too.  I took him out last night at midnight and at the corner circle, a young and collarless small german shepherd was hanging around.  I had to grab tiny and hold him and I screamed for the shepherd to scram.  it is very stressful.

I need to go to the yeshiva later to defrost some chop meat.  they end their holiday break tomorrow.  I need to make supper for 18 students tomorrow.  I didn't sleep very well last night nor the night before.  I am pretty wrecked.  I watched a pretty graphic sexy and violent movie in the middle of the night.  I slept through most of it.  the son did get vengeance on the ones who turned his mother into a prostitute.  I was truly too tired to get up and turn off the television.  I don't feel well this morning.  I also ate an enormous amount of candy last night.  I have been binging for the past two weeks.

a vey dear old friend has her first anniversary of her passing this Friday.  I have been thinking a lot about her for weeks.  I even asked someone when her yirtseit was because I was feeling her so strongly.  I don't want to chance running into my sister at the cemetery.  I am not ready to see her.  she has emailed me twice and I deleted both texts.  she is in denial about what transpired between us.  I know Dr. Phil would disagree with me.  but then again, he never met my sister.

I truly believe in accountability.  I can no longer be around people who cannot fess up to their atrocious behavior.  you can't fix something unless you admit that it is broken.  this goes far beyond being political incorrect.  it took me a long time before I could own up to my mistakes.  I would like to believe that I can admit when I screw up.  I am pretty busy picking up the grandkids after school.  we ride home on the school bus a few times a week.  it is free and the kids love being with their peers.  who knows what I will do when it begins raining every day.

I am obsessed with following the Harvey Weinstein scandal online.  it reminds me of the Clinton years.  it comes into every home if you want it or not.  it hurts that it is a jewish man, to boot.  we are supposed to be the light to the other nations.  we are not supposed to be bullies.