it is 9:30 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. I am trying to get to town. it's freezing outside. I need a hot shower. I usually watch reruns of "Alias' at this hour. I can't indulge this morning. I actually caught the episode at 2:00 a.m. I was hoping to see the 'golden globes' last night but no such luck. I have a list of a million things to do in town. I probably won't get to accomplish them all. I have to pick up the kids at 4:00 p.m.
I need to buy a large rat trap. the humongous rat living in the boiler room needs the Rolls Royce of traps. I also need to buy peanut butter to put in the trap. I need to pay our water bill and get a letter from the national insurance office, which is in another office, to get my discount for the city tax. I need to buy a cordless phone because I can no longer cope with the only one and only phone in the costume/ blog room. every time it rings I need to do a fifty mile dash to retrieve the call. the room consists of only outside walls so it is freezing in there. I can't hear the phone ring from downstairs.
I am very nervous this morning. the big kids are going out of town this evening until Tuesday. I have to pick up the kids and feed them and bathe them and put them to sleep like I do about 3-4 times a week. the only difference is that I need to sleep downstairs with them tonight. they will be out by 8:30 p.m. I don't go to sleep until around 2:00 a.m. I have 3 dogs when left alone upstairs create havoc. I have to get the kids dressed in the morning and take them to gan. that makes me a bit queasy. I am actually dreading this afternoon. some grandma, right?
I have a very dear friend who is awaiting her father's passing. he is in a hospice hanging on. what a high soul! I have the pleasure of my grandkids for a couple of days, and I am complaining. I am turning into an old lady before my eyes. I feel like I am getting a relapse of my bronchial infection. I never took any medication. the kids are all runny noises and feverish. my throat is scratchy once again and I can't get enough sleep. I haven't gotten my strength back since I had the flu. I do the minimum. I can food shop, cook and clean the house. that's about all I manage. I hardly ever go out. I feel winded when I walk. i'm also headachy.
I did start to read recently. I started with stories of Isaac Bashevis Singer. they were published in the 70's and deal with post war European characters living in the states. they are haunting and very soulful. I have two books that I am simultaneously reading. I used to love romance novels and spy stories. I find that I have no patience for them now. I like stories about the human condition and primarily about Jewish people. I nearly forgot how to read. it's been a while. I basically read on Shabbat. I'm too busy watching television and surfing the net to read during the week.
I have been watching a lot of documentaries and old interviews this week. I watched tons on Liz Taylor, Eddie Fisher, Freddy Mercury, the true hero of the book "Unbroken" and Rock Hudson. I watched dozens of 'in memorial' tapes for 2015. I think I was on a dead trip. I watched the 1964 movie,' Umbrellas of Cherburg,' twice. that was the first foreign film I ever saw. I must have been 13 years old at the time. I can still remember how I felt and how I discussed every detail of the film with my mom. my older sister, who is the voice of reason now, took me to see it.
this last sugar and carbs binge has set me back many pounds. it's amazing how quickly one gains wait when one is inactive. it took three months to lose most of my belly fat and now I'm back to square one. I have no desire to go back on a diet. I will try to stay away from sugar once again and watch what I eat. I made myself sick with all the junk I crammed down my throat last week.