Happy Birthday To You!

it is 3;00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i am downstairs with the grandkids blogging on my son's machine. my computer is kaplutz. every day one of the kids has a meltdown before we enter the house. it is usually over who got the key to open the door. sometimes it's a kid who didn't get carried home. 0ccassionally, it's both kids freaking out together. i usually ignore them and risk the dirty looks form the other parents. it is unheard of here to let a kid cry. today is my son's jewish birthday. we don't go by the gregorian calendar. he was actually born on the 6th of january,28 years ago. since borh kids are working late i decided to throw a small party for him last night. i didn't have to babysit or cook on friday so i went out to get a present for him. i was asked to make a potato kugel so i set out for the big supermarket. i got a lift with a neighbor. the supermarket was under reconstruction and it was a huge balagon to find anything. i found the vegetables, which were in a totally different section of the store. it was a huge mess. why they were open under those conditions on a friday before shabbat, is uncomprehensible. i left the store without buying a birthday cake. i decided not to make a birthday cake from scratch. my track record hasn't been too good for cakes lately. i went next store to the pharmacy to buy a cologne for him. he had requested a certain one. it was over $100 and i passed on it. there were some half priced colognes but i had no idea which ones he liked. i had no desire to start testing perfumes. those days are over. i looked all over the store for gift ideas. i wanted some momento of his favorite soccer team but there wasn't a thing. i ended up buying some socks, underware, deoderant and body gel. i spent about $30 and about 2 hours of my time. i felt a bit cheap. i went back to the supermarket to try and find a cake. i finally found one and spent another $20. i was too tired to bus it home so i came home in a taxi. i didn't buy enough potatoes to make a large kugel so i ended up making a potato loaf and a noodle zucchini loaf. i also made a cheesecake. yes folks, i made yet another cheesecake. it cost over $10 to make. when i came home i explained my dilemna at both the supermarket and the pharmacy to the daughter-in-law. at least the lady at the perfume counter wtapped up all of the items to make a nice looking package. the daughter-in-law approved. i, of course, showed her the cake. she thought it was a bit pricey. she ended up buying the cologne for half price and a soccer play station game for my son, her husband. i offered to pay for half of the cologne but she declined. i offered to pick up the kids while she shopped so she wouldn't have that added pressure. i had to make the kugels and cheesecake while the kids were upstairs with me. i also made some jello. she came back and i didn't have to shower the kids. it was pretty close to candle kighting by then. i went downstairs while she picked up my son from work. the little kids told their father all about the gifts, cake and party before shabbat. my son got to wear his new cologne. another young couple with a small son and new born came for shabbat. the boy was sick and the baby was fussy. the food was pretty good. they brought baked salmon and salads and the daughter-in-law made soup and stir fry wraps. i provided the jello and store bought cookies. we also had two bottles of wine. i drank a large amount of sweet muscat white wine and had a huge headache later that night. i ate way too much, too. i went to sleep rather late that night. we usually all go to bed around 8:00 p.m. on friday night. the kids stayed up until 1:00 a.m. and i went to bed with my grandson at 11:30 p.m. he was way, overtired. i got up at 7:30 a.m. and my grandson got up shortly after he wet the bed. we were the only ones to be up. my son got up to go ro the synagogue at close to 10:00 a.m. the other young farher was very busy with his son who had soiled himself. my son was in a really awful nood. perhaps it was also a wine hangover. we ended up eating at around 12:00 p.m. everyone was in pajamas. the little boy was really crabby. no one took an afternoon nap. we usually all go to sleep at around 1:00 p.m. as soon as shabbat ended, i went upstairs to defrost the birthday cake. the young women did the dishes and the floors. the little kids were watching television. my son was in a horrible mood. we had had words in the afternoon. i didn't like how he was handling the kids. he let me know that i had been a lousy mother, once again. he asked me if i wanted to be the kids' mother. i was really ticked off at him. i didn't feel like coming back downstairs. i did so for the grandkids and not for my own son. although he had seemed impressed that i had bought him the latest deoderant for men, he didn't show any appreciation for my efforts to celebrate his birthday. the wife and the little kids were frantically blowing up balloons for him. he wanted to go out on the town with his wife and couldn't sit still for a cople of moments with his friends,kids and me. i told him that i wasn't going to sit for him. i didn't like his attitude at all. my gransdon came upstairs at 10:00 p.m. to ask me to put him to sleep. wile i told him betime stories, his young parents went out for the night. my son called a little while ago to thank me for all my efforts and to apologize for being such a downer. apparently, he doesn't do well on birthdays. go know! i am happy that the computer is working. i hope it makes paragraphs. i know how hard it is to read my blog without them.

Chanukah 2014

it is 11:00 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. it is the last day of chanukah. the kids are back at gan. i have to pick them up at 2:00 p.m. i have been in a funk for days. can't seem to get myself together or out into the world. i turned up going to two chanukah parties. i am stuck in my own head. i tried to make chanukah memorable. my family was united over the last shabbat and i found myself unable to get over to my sister's for the reunion. it's not like i was invited but i still, wanted to make the effort to see everyone. i think it's the extra weight that is getting me down. i have no clothes, either. i'm stuck in my house robes. i went out before chanukah to buy choclate coins, coloring books, laizer dreidels and a chanukah cd to make it fun for the kids. i ended up not making potato latkes this year. i couldn't face it. one day i did make corn fritters. i made a dairy meal the first night. i served sweet potato ravioli with two sauces. i made a cream sauce for my son and a tomato sauce for my daughter-in-law who hates the cream sauce. i had the kids with me and they were occupied with the cd, dreidels and coloring books, for the most part. i made a dinner for my mother's 6th passing and it ended up being a chanukah party. i served lasagna, cheesecake, green salad, and bagget with garlic butter. we played dreidel with chocolate coins, sang all of the chanukah songs and played chanukah trivia. i spent hours researching questions to make it funny. it was a sweet night. i didn't get down to visit my mom's grave. i went into a decline right after the party. i have a brain mri in a couple of weeks followed by two hospital visits. i am in a bad frame of mind. i set up 3 chanukiahs all week long. the little kids were very happy to light candles each night alongside their dad, who lit the large one facing outside the window. yes,i poured the oil and added fresh cotton wicks each night. i did have moments of joy last week i will admit. i started to think that perhaps it is time for me to take some type of pill. i can't get happy. my son is on ritilin and a sister is on anti depressents. i binge eat all the time and feel pretty awful afterwards. the doctors are so willing to give me something. i don't know why i fight it. i don't have to make shabbat meals this week. the kids are having a shabbaton downstairs with friends. i am, of course, invited to join them. i am too preoccupied with the financial difficulties of the moment to feel free. i know i should have a better attitude but i don't. i am in a real zelda funk. it is a beautiful day outside and i should be out in the sun and not buried under my blanket. oh well.......

Happy To Blog

it is 3:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. it has been way too long since i last blogged. it was due to a computer mal function as well as a personal mal function on my part. i am currently downstairs watching the kids. i am not feeling well at all. i actually went to the doctor yesterday to make sure that i was not sick. as everyone knows, i hardly ever do that. i usually consult my homeopath. my throat is killing me. in the past month or so, each member of my family has had a throat infection. some of the members got antibiotics and some went without medication. i only run to doctors for the referrals that i need for the hospital tests and visits. my insurance carrier recently refused the MRI request for my back. yes,they actually needed more information from the neurosurgeon. i had already decided not to do one anyway because i didn't feel like traveling to the south of the country while we were having ketushas dropping and mad men stabbing random individuals. i didn't even know that my request for the procedure had been denied. it kind of ticked me off, to say the least. after all, i am still considered to be a cancer patient. i discovered a new female doctor at my clinic. she seems genuinely interested in her patients. i get to vent about my past illness and she seems to get it. she doesn't tell me horror stories about her previous patients nor does she vent about how little she earns, like the seasoned doctors do. i have never been one to prefer a female doctor but this one i really like. i actually felt at peace with the world after seeing her. as usual, i had a bit of a meltdown at the clinic last week.

once again, my paperwork came back addressed to the wrong hospital. and once again, i complained about the inefficiency of that office. i got nowhere with the office person and all of the aggravation made me sick, once again. i'm sure they view me there as a crackpot. i don't even care. i had an MRI scheduled for 3:00 a.m. that next morning and the insurance carrier would only provide a taxi one way. i was obviously concerned about my return to zefat at such an unholy hour of the day. i was pretty sure that i would have to hang out there for a couple of hours until daybreak and i just couldn't bare the thought of being there any longer. as i tried to explain to this bureaucratic office worker, the actual MRI takes a lot out of one's self. once again, i was reminded that i could do these tests closer to home. i countered as usual, with the fact that they knew my case right there in tel hashomer. so much for dealing with bureaucrats.

 i am sick and my throat is burning. i also got into a tiff with the check out lady at the big supermarket that morning. i tried to return two cans of coconut cream at the check out counter. i had bought them thinking that they were half priced. i was rudely informed by the check out gal that the sale was only on coconut 'liquid' and not cream. go know the difference! i even went back to check out the sign again. yes, there it was in microscopic letters coconut 'liquid'. the fact that there were only cans of coconut cream on that shelf next to the half priced sign with identical pix of the cans of cream didn't seem to matter. as i approached that same check out gal, the very next day, with my new purchases and the two cans of coconut cream, she rudely told me that i had no right to bring food items into the store. she rudely pointed to the store's front office and rudely explained that people have to approach the woman at the counter. yes, she pointed to the same lady from the day before, who told me to approach the check out lady in aisle 1. when i answered that the counter lady had referred me to her, aisle 1 gal, she rudely told me that the counter lady wasn't the manager and that i should have gone to the office in the back. is there any wonder that i don't leave my house too often and deal with the public? my last errand of that day was to return a deodorant spray that i had bought the day before on sale at the pharmacy. it was a "buy one and get the second one for a shekel" sale. i reached for two dove deodorants. when i got home i realized that i had bought a generic brand instead of the dove. i have been using dove deodorant spray for years. the generic body sprays don't do the trick for me. i asked the salesgal if i could exchange the one deodorant. she told me that according to the board of health it was illegal to return deodorants. really?? when i reasoned that it was still in the same bag that i had purchased it in, she once again, told me that it was against the law. she repeated the mantra over and over again. i then addressed a young man who may have been in a managerial position for help. he wanted to help. apparently, he never heard about the health department's edict but couldn't help because the sale was over already. there was a difference of about 6 shekels which threw them both into a quandary. i offered to add the amount and they gave me the deodorant.

 i got home and went to bed. i was genuinely tired after my outing. i had even walked home. i had stopped off at my friends' home to rake their leaves before they returned from america that night. it took about an hour and a half to get the job done. i had gone over almost every day to leave food for their outdoor cats. that's right, rain or shine i braved it out of my house and over to my friend's home. admittedly, it is all of about a seven minute walk. i don't think i had the kids with me that day. i actually had quite a break from babysitting last week. the kids went away for shabbat so i was also spared from cooking shabbat meals. i did make a pot of chicken soup with turkey meatballs and some rice to bring to my friends. i also stocked their fridge with staples because i knew they'd be tired. i spent the shabbat morning reading a fascinating book about the peace agreement with sadat that ended with us returning the sinai. i guess you could say that it was the beginning of the end for us in terms of having to give back land for peace. it was amazing that world opinion hasn't changed about us one bit since the 70's. i had some chicken soup and went to bed about 7:00 p.m. on friday night. i slept until the next morning. i felt awful. the house was very cold but it was quite warm outside in the sun. i sat outside for about an hour but felt dizzy and queezy. i went back to bed until the afternoon. i got up and dressed and went over to see my friends. i stayed until about an hour after the sabbat ended. i was feeling unwell.

 i have been binge eating for a couple of months now and living in my house robes. i have put on a ton of weight and my stomach is huge and swollen. getting dressed is not easy. my clothes no longer fit. i started a diet once again yesterday. yesterday the big kids threw a birthday party for my granddaughter. she turned 3 on shabbat. i had wanted to buy her a pink tricycle but i never made it to town. i bought her two talking stuffed toys from the magic garden television show. they weren't cheap. she got two talking baby dolls from the sephardi family. one actually cries until you put the pacifier in its mouth. it is actually quite annoying. my grandson pretty much adopted the stuffed toys for himself. my granddaughter kept thinking they were teletubby dolls. oh well!

 the party was excruciating for me. young nursing mothers, 3 newborn babies, and a slew of little kids running all over the place. originally, my daughter-in-law wanted the party upstairs in my living room. lucky for me that she changed her mind. we have an enormous laundry room downstairs which co-functions as a playroom. i was once again put upon to make a cheesecake. i ran to the store to buy honey because the sephardi grandma was making morracan crepes. these non dairy crepes are not filled but served plain with honey. i can't stand them. they are quite doughy.

before the party i cleaned and shlepped in all of the plastic chairs that i could find and even brought down some of my kitchen chairs. i dragged in two large plastic tables from outside and another heavy folding table from the neighbor. my friend had given me some party goods from the states and i put a huge plastic disposable tablecloth on the wall which covered up the water damaged plaster and added a festive party look. the entire wall was covered in balloons. i usually stay upstairs when they have kids' parties but yesterday i was in it til the end. at one point i made hot chocolate for all the kids and served coffee ad tea to all their mothers. there were loads of cold drinks but everyone seemed to prefer hot drinks. there were tons of candy and nash but no real food for a party set at supper time. the sephardi grandma's batter didn't work so she turned it into fried donuts. there was birthday cake, cheesecake and fried donuts. not a great day to start a diet. i still think pizza or some other food dish like spaghetti would have been more appropriate. what can i say? i'm from another generation, another country and another planet apparently. i don't like a lot of kids running around and i don't love babies.