it's 12:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. shabbat comes in at 4:30 p.m. candlelighting is at 4:00 p.m. my daughter-in-law is in the hospital in labor. i don't know if the baby will make it in before shabbat. i have goodies and fruit and drinks to bring over before shabbat.
i am at home alone. sahar is with her family. the kids and the sephardi mom went over to the hospital last night at around 10:00 p.m. i wasn't even called. i called my son to ask how everyone was. i was advised not to come. frankly, i had no intention of going there last night. i was completely exhausted and wanted to chill out with a good police show or something. my new part time gig with the young lady, takes all of my energy. being in a cold house all day long, doesn't help one feel energized, either.
my son called and woke me up at around 1:00 a.m. to let me know that gal wasn't in labor. he then woke me up at around 2:00 a.m. to let him in. he left gal with her mom and sister for the night. i tried to wake him up at 7:00 a.m. as he had requested the night before, but he was really tired and non-compliant. he finally got up at around 8:00 a.m. and i was advised once again, not to come to the hospital. i muttered something under my breath about the trials of not having any daughters and my son started to get combative. i had to smoothe things out before he left for the hospital.
i took a very long and steaming hot shower to get relaxed and in motion. i went downstairs to the small supermarket and decided to blow some money. i bought candies and cookies and shabbat treats to bring to the hospital. i bought dried apricots for the soon to be new mom. they asked me to pick up a pacifier so i bought both pink and purple ones. they were on sale to boot. only cost me 4 shekels. how hilarious is that! i had bought a set of toiletries for the blessed event so i have a little gift to bring, too. i also bought a bag of newborn diapers and wipes, just in case .
i put up a small pot of chicken soup for myself and bought a few peppers. i managed to get back on the diet wagon this week and knocked off a couple of pounds. i really wanted to be svelte when my new grand-daughter arrived. i can't really get my head around the concept of a grand-daughter. i have wanted a daughter my entire life. a daughter-in-law doesn't do the trick.
my daughter-in-law told my son that i shoudn't feel offended. how exactly should i feel? why am i home alone? i'm not taking care of my grandson so why shouldn't i be at the hospital? i was there til the end the first time around. i could sit out in the hall this time if she doesn't want me in the room with her. the fact that she also doesn't want her sisters there doesn't do it for me. i am the grandmother. i am the mother of the sperm donor. why don't i have any rights.
i am the one who runs out to buy the baby blankets, the stretchies, the cute newborn outfits and the diapers. i am the one who bathes and puts the grandson to sleep when they're too tired but doesn't get to see him all week. i am the one who provides them with a place to live but has no voice. this blog is called the zelda monologue, right. it is the rantings of a middle aged lady living in zefat, correct?
i planned to run over to the hospital, just before candlelighting, and leave the food package for the kids. the walk home should take about an hour and a half or even more, depending on how fast i can move my body. my son just called to ask me to get his shabbat clothes in order. i offered to bring them over in a cab but once again i was instructed not to come. what did i ever do to my daughter-in-law to be forbidden from coming to the hospital?
how will they feel if i don't go to see the new baby? i guess i'll have to wait on line again. her family will get first dibs to hold the baby. last time i waited for an entire month for my turn. their reasoning being, that the baby would live here. my grandson lives downstairs and i go an entire week without seeing him. he is in maon all day and then he goes to the other family until bedtime. if i want to get a peak at him i can always watch him leave for daycare, from my kitchen window.
i am trying my darndest not to get emotional and hurt. now i have to run over to her sister's apartment to bring over the stuff for the hospital. they will be going near there later today for shabbat. zvi will have shabbat with his brother-in-law's family who live near the hospital. so in the end, i really don't need to send over any shabbat treats at all. they can all fend for themselves and i can fade into the oblivion for good.
shabbat shalom! let's hope there will be good news soon!